I'm developing JARDIANCE! THE MUSICAL for Broadway.

Gay Best Friend played by George Santos, making his Broadway [acting] debut.

You gonna do an extended mix of the commercial? Fat gal sweats through two outfits! There's a plot.

What they edited out of the commercial was the bee-line to the Kraft Services table.

The African American mail man and gay hair dresser romance subplot.

Her arch nemesis is played by Audrey, the band director from that OTHER Jardiance commercial.

The band cannot see Bandleader Audrey for shit with her little faux wavy conducting motions. Bitch obviously never lifted her arms above her head in her life. That's why she has diabetes.

The fart sounds on the bus to Jardianceville start the show....

The elaborate production number Taint Misbehavin, (with puppetry by Julie Taylor and Michael Curry) when Deanna realizes her soon-to-be unpleasant end of life.

Songs: "Rejection! (My body can't handle it)"; "What's a Little Toe or Two?"; "It's Not a Real Pump".

It already opened and closed in the red. Headed back to television with heavy ad saturation in your home.

I unironically stan the Jardiance lady.

I’m so tired of them running the Jardiance commercial right after the exact same Jardiance commercial.

Plot twist: Jardiance FAILS and the bitch doubles in size being confused as a school bus in the yellow frock.

ROFL!!!!

The little pill with a big story to tell definitely deserves a touching solo number.

Jardiance for the win! The public embraces it when the Repigs in Congress defeat the $35 monthly insulin cap, and the cost of insulin skyrockets.

"The little pill with a big story to tell."

Indeed.

I'm Beanie's tearful Tony acceptance speech on behalf of "all the big girls, on and off Broadway."

Gay men will be discussing this show for decades.

In 2034 we'll finally get the all black cast version.

Who will read the introduction monologue telling of all the side effects?

Or should they list them in a song? ‘Restless leg got me restless’ as a working title.

There needs to be a song titled, "The Gunt Pony" and feature the lead teaching her fellow dancers the 'choreography' for the big dance number.

Is it going to be some kind of meta, Charlie Kaufman experience? Because she starts out riding a bus and dancing on a fountain, but the big reveal is that she is actually an actress filming a commercial. She goes from dumpy jeans-wearing frau with a gunt to glamorous star in a flattering yellow dress. What is her journey?

It should have a scene with the Ghost of Diabetes Past, Wilfur Brimley, moaning “Diabeetus!”

Oh, Oh, Oh! Ozempic!

2nd Act opener. The plot thickens.