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Let's be a Zillenial Friendsgiving

I’m the Sabra Hummus on the table still in the original container.

by Anonymousreply 28November 20, 2023 6:39 PM

I’m the sparse food options and lackluster table decor, due to laziness, tackiness, and cheapness. We opened a bag of chips and threw them on the table next to some store-bought hummus and a single mini pumpkin, which serves as the evening’s solitary decoration. You’ll be lucky if we dump those chips in a serving bowl, which we probably don’t have anyway.

by Anonymousreply 1November 18, 2023 11:57 PM

I'm the UberEats driver, pissed at my shitty tip.

by Anonymousreply 2November 19, 2023 12:23 AM

I'm the box of Stove Top Stuffing, brought as a joke. The directions look haaaaaaaaard

by Anonymousreply 3November 19, 2023 12:54 AM

My pussy stinks.

by Anonymousreply 4November 19, 2023 12:58 AM

I'm the cuddle puddle in the absent roommate's bed at the end of the night after everyone has Venmo'd Dylan for their Molly.

...and the inevitable septum ring/fishnet stocking mishap that eventually ends the fun.

by Anonymousreply 5November 19, 2023 12:59 AM

I’m the “ironic” Gobbler hoagies that were delivered by r2 in Pittsburgh. From Primanti’s. Jed ordered his with the fries on the side.

by Anonymousreply 6November 19, 2023 1:14 AM

I'm the pro hamas activist boycotting my parents for siding with those genocidal zionists. I also refuse to acknowledge Thanksgiving as it's an International Day of Mourning. I also have blue hair and weight 400 lbs but I deserve a hot boyfriend.

by Anonymousreply 7November 19, 2023 2:07 AM

I’m the IKEA dining table.

by Anonymousreply 8November 19, 2023 4:36 AM

I’m the obesity.

by Anonymousreply 9November 19, 2023 4:45 AM

I'm the dirty genitals. I haven't been scrubbed since Halloween.

by Anonymousreply 10November 19, 2023 4:48 AM

I’m the neurodivergence.

by Anonymousreply 11November 19, 2023 4:56 AM

I’m the tedious negotiation of consent for the mildest social interactions.

by Anonymousreply 12November 19, 2023 5:30 AM

I’m the vocal fry and upspeaking

by Anonymousreply 13November 19, 2023 3:44 PM

I'm also the vocal fry ... so much vocal fry

by Anonymousreply 14November 19, 2023 4:00 PM

We don't celebrate this genocidal "holiday."

We will be out protesting genocidal zionists who are the same as genocidal American settlers in their genocide.

Osama bin Laden had a point, you know.

by Anonymousreply 15November 19, 2023 4:04 PM

I'm the TikTok trend of dumping all the food onto a table covered with a plastic sheet and letting you all have at it like a bunch of fucking savages.

by Anonymousreply 16November 19, 2023 4:50 PM

R16 is that a thing? Gross.

by Anonymousreply 17November 19, 2023 4:58 PM

How grateful I am, r17, that I don't tik-tok.

by Anonymousreply 18November 19, 2023 10:35 PM

I’m the small bag of kale chips, ranch flavor.

by Anonymousreply 19November 19, 2023 10:38 PM

I’m the post-gender sexlessness and morbid obesity.

by Anonymousreply 20November 19, 2023 10:43 PM

I’m the incessant chatter pendulum swing between inflammatory half-ass political theories and infantile discussions about Disney remakes and Britney Jean Spears.

by Anonymousreply 21November 19, 2023 11:24 PM

I'm the consensus that Timothée Chalamet is a cinnamon roll and must be protected at all costs.

by Anonymousreply 22November 20, 2023 4:20 AM

I'm the unanimous lack of being registered to vote.

by Anonymousreply 23November 20, 2023 4:38 AM

I'm the egalitarian need for a group consensus that never materializes -- which makes every decision we make, even more slow and bureaucratic.

by Anonymousreply 24November 20, 2023 4:51 AM

I’m the performative keyboard activism.

by Anonymousreply 25November 20, 2023 4:55 AM

I'm an expert on Israel-Palestine.

by Anonymousreply 26November 20, 2023 4:58 AM

I’m the DL’s jealousy of young people

by Anonymousreply 27November 20, 2023 5:18 AM

Why would the average DLer be jealous of uptight virgins who lack social skills and can't even put themselves together in public?

That makes no sense!

by Anonymousreply 28November 20, 2023 6:39 PM
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Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


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