I just took the biggest poop of my life at Nordstrom

Well, at least you can purchase new shoes while you’re there.

When I was a kid, I always wondered who BJ was and why you had to tap for him. Anyhow, I hope you didn't tap for BJ before, during or after your biggest poop as that would be uncouth.

Did you have to do it next to the piano, though?

A real thing evidently

Poopisha, is that you?

If it was that big, surely it was unflushable? I've produced some thick, long logs that toilet water just washes over, not even budging the massive turd. And that's when I have to take matters into my own hands...

Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

I worked at B&N and yes, people would take dumps in inappropriate places. Including on the comfy big puffy chairs.

We also had, shall we say, a fair number of people who were not used to fine indoor plumbing and/or came from poor backgrounds (these people were all of various skin color/hues/tones) who would poop and then not understand that they didn't need to put AN ENTIRE FUCKING ROLL OF TP DOWN WITH IT and would cause a huge mess for days. We started having an employee at the restroom doors on busy holiday shopping days with a key to each one and that seemed to cut down on the messes for a while.

Hey Erna OP

Kirker?

R8 People spend a lot of time in bookstore so they are good places to take a dump, especially if they serve coffee.

Not so stealth scat thread.

Haven’t pooped in 2 weeks, but haven’t eaten much because oh oh oh Ozempic.

You paid for it, right? You cannot just take things without paying for them.

Somehow, from across the cosmos, the eternal world mind of charity and oneness for all sentient beings tells me

You're fulla shit, op. Literally. Saving huge dumps for public restrooms is a move pervert use. Females also choose to shit in public restrooms because they don't want their husband to know they shit.

Lord & Taylor has bigger ones.

Who shops in department stores anymore?

I pee at Macy's

But I take a DUMP at Alexander's!

A DUMP at Alexander's!

Perverts and shoplifters

R18, op (and many others) do

Department store toilet paper is the worst.

I used to work with this morbidly obese gal that said every time she shopped at Walmart, it gave her the impulse to shit. She would never use the store bathrooms, it was a frantic car ride to get home and poop.

OP here. It was an emergency situation. I absolutely flushed. Actually it was a two flusher. That bran opened the gates of hell. Everyone once in a while you need a good palette cleanser. LOL

OP, We’ve all learned the difference between “jealous” and “envious.”

By the way, I bought T-shirts and underwear and balance everything out.

Jealous for what ?

Serious question: where does poop come from?

I worked retail for many years and people DO shit in dressing rooms. They must get some perverse thrill from it. It must be completely psychological because it doesn’t matter the background. I worked at H&M and people shit in dressing rooms there. I’ve worked for Chanel at Bergdorf Goodman and some rich white women shit in the rooms there. About once or twice a year a story would circulate their had been a dumping.

This reminds me of the time I stopped at a gas station along the freeway to fill up and as I was standing there waiting a lady came rushing in with her young boy who appeared to be around 5 or 6. After a couple of minutes the little boy started whining to his mother that he had to go poopy and that he had a "turtle head". The mother asked the cashier where the bathroom was and was told they didn't have a public bathroom. The woman became incensed and said frantically "DIDN'T YOU HEAR MY CHILD? HE HAS A TURTLE HEAD!!!". The poor Middle Eastern employee had no idea what she was talking about so the woman grabbed her son up and ran back to their car and drove off. The attendant looked at me and said "what she mean, turtle head?". I told him I think she meant the boy had a turd partially coming out of his butthole. The attendant started laughing uproariously, as did I.

OP is just a big ol' hockey head.

Does those entitle you to a store discount?

I have never pooped in a store bathroom. The very idea feels so primitive.

Did you go down a pants size, OP?

Dear, we don't discuss such things in polite company.

I'M PRAIRIE DOGGING IT!

I have a friend who works at Williams Sonoma & said they once found a perfect turd in a glass gasket jar that someone clearly took into a stall, brought it back out & put it back on the shelf for all to see. They had no idea how long it had been there. They took it off the shelf & threw it in the mall's trash can...... I found it funny/gross & almost brilliant since it was sealed it was more a visual......

How organic of you, OP!

[quote] I just took the biggest poop of my life at Nordstrom

That’s nasty - absolutely nasty.

[quote] I have a friend who works at Williams Sonoma & said they once found a perfect turd in a glass gasket jar that someone clearly took into a stall, brought it back out & put it back on the shelf for all to see. They had no idea how long it had been there. They took it off the shelf & threw it in the mall's trash can...... I found it funny/gross & almost brilliant.

Give that customer an A+ for creativity and a $250 gift card for their time and effort - absolutely brilliant.

Having worked in shit retail jobs, I would never, ever do this bc some poor SOB would have to clean up the turds. But I think there's more to all of these stories, like a jilted co-worker or snobby shopgirl. I think this would deserve a John Waters style movie treatment. HILARIOUS!

[Quote]I used to work with this morbidly obese gal that said every time she shopped at Walmart, it gave her the impulse to shit.

Straight from the Emily Blunt School of Storytelling.

Is this woman a DLer?

I saw a YT short showing a big fat guy in a store pulling his pants down and dropping a big load right in the aisle into a plastic box full of bottles of wine. YT shorts won't play on DL so do a search for "big guy takes a fat dump in supermarket aisle". The big hog does it with such grace.

R37 Maybe they brought it in in a baggie? Or had bought the jar prior and made the arrangement at home? Last time I went to WS in person a salesperson asked me if I needed help. I asked if they had 16 - 20 oz glasses. She said “Hmmm.” She then walked away and never came back. Most women who work there are Karens that hate that they need jobs. 9I work here for the discount.” Sure, Karen.

People who drop a load in store aisles are clearly pathologically insane.

[quote]I just took the biggest poop of my life at Nordstrom

When did you take your biggest poop of your life at Macys?