What Do You Do When Someone Is Giving You The Silent Treatment?

Ignore.

Ignore them, and do not let on that you've noticed, or that it's bothering you.

Let them stew in it and go on about your day.

If it only happens once, I'll give them another chance. If it becomes a pattern, punch and delete. Life is too short.

In my experience, the silent treatment is used by the emotionally immature and the cruel.

Give it right back to them and never look back.

OP, are you sure that person isn't grey rocking you because you're a toxic narcissist?

What everyone else said. The worst thing you could possibly do to someone like that is starve them of attention. It hurts them even more if they see you happy and hanging out with mutual friends.

Give it right back.

Punch & Delete as Datalounge of yore suggested!

Slap their faces Viciously!

Fart loudly in their face and sashay away!

Had a longtime friend do this to me once when I was unable to attend her wedding for legitimate reasons. I ignored her right back.

She eventually sent me and my family nasty emails disinviting us from her wedding even though we never planned to go in the first place.

What *can* you do? Nothing. Easy. Move on with your life.

R6 the person is a coworker. I just got a promotion and everyone in the office congratulated me except this person and yet they shoot daggers at me when I walk by their desk. This morning he went around the office and said good moring to everyone but skipped over my desk and sat down without a word. Now what is that if not the silent treatment? Is that not childish behavior?

If this person is a coworker, r14, then who cares?

Lots of adults are childish. What can you do? Nothing.

Because I'm going to be his manager R15 and this kind of behavior at work is inappropriate. We are no longer equals. The dynamic is about to change.

OP, if it's a co-worker I would take the high road and stop by his desk and be sincere and nice. Say, "Hi there. I wanted a word.... I'm sensing a little attitude with me. What's going on? Can we clear the air?"

You should have said that, in the first place - that you will be his manager. That changes things. You need to have a talk with him about being able to communicate re: work issues, blah blah blah. You're the boss and can ultimately fire him for insubordination, failure to communicate, etc.

My parents loved giving us kids and each other the silent treatment. They were so petty it sometimes went on for more than a week. So, of course, I followed their example into adulthood but I eventually grew out of it. Sadly, they never did and continued that behavior until they died. It's an awful thing to do to anyone.

R19 my apologies. There are actually many examples I could have gave but this is the most recent. We started around the same time and used to goof off together but now I'm moving up and I think he feels stuck. He's considering leaving the job now and I'm sure we'll never speak again. I'm realizing in life not everyone is going to be happy for you when something good happens. It's sucks when someone you've known for a long time turns on you. My siblings and I have gone through periods of not speaking. My sister called me the other day after three years. The silent treatment is a form of aggression.

I once had a co-worker who had stopped speaking to most people. I would continually say hello to her by name, knowing she wouldn't answer, and it delighted me to do so.

OP, at work you are in competition with everyone. It’s not happy families. If he won’t talk to you then tell your manager he isn’t being cooperative.

If / when you do end up talking with him, I wouldn't mention the silent treatment from your family or that you consider the silent treatment a form of aggression.

It's hard to be supervised by someone who was at your level. That's probably the issue. I wouldn't mention that, either, when talking with him.

Just be professional, don't bring emotional baggage into your talks with him.

The question is whether he’s ignoring you when it comes to work situations where he needs to be talking with you.

If he has, that has to be addressed. “Earlier today when I asked you a question about a deliverable, I wasn’t sure if you maybe had a problem hearing me. We have to work together and it’s important that you continue to demonstrate professionalism. Will you be able to do that?”

As his manager, you have to be the bigger person in this.

Alison Green of askamanager.org is great with these questions.

Here’s is a letter about a specific manager/employee situation involving the silent treatment.

While this isn’t your situation, there is good stuff in here.

Cat got your tongue?

Another related question answered.

The bottom line: your employee doesn’t have to want to be best pals with you but once if affects work, it is a performance issue and needs to be handled as such… head on, with discussion of consequences if change doesn’t happen.

Initiate a conversation to find out why and how to resolve. If continues, let him/her know that this isn't healthy and if it doesn't change, you will need to decide if the relationship is worth having.

[quote] If continues, let him/her know that this isn't healthy and if it doesn't change, you will need to decide if the relationship is worth having.

I wouldn't approach it in this way, i.e., expressing an opinion on whether this is "healthy" or not. This is not a "relationship" outside of a work. I wouldn't veer into the personal.

I think R25's approach sounds professional.

Pass the silent but deadly treatment whenever you’re in their vicinity. They soon will be crying an audible “Foul!” And then you can begin communication with the goal of comprehension and mutual understanding with greater respect for one another as you clasp hands and skip gaily into those hills of daisies under the bright sunshine.

Bend over and spread your ass open, exposing your asshole, while they’re sitting down