Datalounge the movie

Will there be a scene with Muriel at the switchboard?

R1 I’m thinking more of drowning by an overflowing shitty toilet in a locked bathroom.

ok but, write me with Courtney Love in mind to play me.

I am friends with Christy Cashman if you need a producer.

R3 Negative. You will be played by Portia de Rossi.

R4 Greg you are are truly awesome. Truly a good person.

Thank you, R6.

I’m afraid yours is a minority opinion.

R3 are you lipstick lesbian?

[quote]I’m thinking more of drowning by an overflowing shitty toilet in a locked bathroom.

That would be Kirker's cameo.

Let's not forget the ASIB "Born in a Trunk" style production number for Miss Helen Lawson right before Intermission.

Film will star Austin Butler.

I love this.

Ryan Reynolds as Greg, please.

Gaga as Muriel. Or, Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

Count me out. I won’t risk the PR machine planting items saying I am hooking up with Kylie Jenner or Taylor Swift.

Cameo by Joan Steffend as herself.

R12 No No No

Steve Carrell will play “Greg” and Christopher Sieber his husband. Also the Greg inspired character will be the only victim to successfully fight back against the killer and escape.

Tilda Swinton will play Muriel.

r5, you will trigger my terrible hair envy- kudos! can we compromise on Christina Applegate? the fat version of course.

Can we have a ridiculous list of cameos all called anonymous?

R4 = r6 = r12 = r15

R16 Deal. Also sorry you are 2nd to die.

Oooooh. Touché , R15

Who should be cast as DARK MINGE LORD????

Marilyn Manson?

R17 And don’t bring yo stankin ass back bitch.

too bad Doris Roberts is dead, she could play davida. what about Patricia Richardson?

It will be shot in glorious technicolor with a gritty film grain.

Too bad Robert Michael Morris is dead. He would have been a fabulous Momma, swanning around his trailer in caftans, inviting over cagemeat.

r18, as I should be

So far this thread is dominated by

A dull, obnoxious retard who is obsessed with himself for no apparent reason

A rightwing troll who enjoys doxxing people she doesn’t like and driving them to suicide

The killer is Miss Dunaway playing herself.

Would be a more interesting concept if it were a mystery/spy/conspiracy thriller with ancillary murders.

Setup: A popular gay gossip site turns out to be a modern "numbers station" for intelligence operatives. Random "Blind Items" turn out to be instructions to "eliminate key political and business leaders across the world. One user starts connecting seemingly random "posts" with world events and the hive mind of the web site starts to triangulate on posters and messages. The user becomes a target IRL to protect the identities of governments and operatives and the covert missions that he's unmasked. He seeks out his online "friends" and frenemies, a cavalcade of personalities - some like their online personas, others completely different - who include the rich and famous, the politically connected, the wealthy and poor.

OP, tell 'your friend' he might want to workshop his pitch, because well, there's no there there

I love you, R28, and want you to fuck me repeatedly for the rest of my life.

I will be your Plus One at the awards!

Titus Burgess will play Janbot in the hilarious opening scene and first to die.

Think Drew Barrymore opening in Scream meets Schitts Creek

And who keeps taking the victims' stuff? Is it that mysterious lesbian with the U-Haul, or is she just on a second date?

Eugene Levy IS Greg.

I assume Cathy Bates will be drafted for the part of Elder Lez of course.

I'm living for the chase through the ComicCon convention where the hero is trying to meet up with Voice of the Night and other regulars on the Picard/Discovery/Trek sci fi threads - I imagine it to be like the scene in What's Up Doc.

[quote] Also the Greg inspired character will be the only victim to successfully fight back against the killer and escape.

I assume when he suddenly realizes the cod has been served without prunes. Who does that??? A MADMAN, that's who!

R34, Rescue I asked you a question

[quote]Also the Greg inspired character will be the only victim to successfully fight back against the killer and escape.

[quote]I assume when he suddenly realizes the cod has been served without prunes. Who does that??? A MADMAN, that's who!

No, the mistake is how the hero figures out that he's meeting an IMPOSTER and not Greg, so he punches and deletes him and makes his escape.

R28 I actually really like that concept and premise. With that being said,

Try not to one up me on my own thread.

at r8 r37? no, I am straight. LL is a lesbian and a different poster

[quote]Also the Greg inspired character will be the only victim to successfully fight back against the killer and escape.

[quote]I assume when he suddenly realizes the cod has been served without prunes. Who does that??? A MADMAN, that's who!

No, the mistake is how the hero figures out that he's meeting an IMPOSTER and not Greg, so he punches and deletes him and makes his escape.

R40 Oh ok. I don’t know how I got in my head you two are same person.

I know it's sadly gone, but seriously somebody has to go undercover at Michfest, preferably taking the Rainbow Express there.

[quote]I know it's sadly gone, but seriously somebody has to go undercover at Michfest, preferably taking the Rainbow Express there.

It's a movie, so it can be set at any time. If necessary for artistic purposes, the movie can be set in 2015, or there can be a "MassFest" or "FriscoFest" which people who know will know.

well, if Michfest is on the field, can Taryn Manning play Denise? was Denise the driver?

Can anyone guess who the killer is?

I would like Josh Hartnett to play me please, the melancholic yet occasionally witty Australian poster. If he is unavailable, then my second pick is Broadway aspiring ingenue Melissa Beth Miller.

r46, Andy Cohen

That was an ABC MOTW in 1973 🤭

[Quote]Can anyone guess who the killer is?

Rami Malek as GermanGayGuy

I’m tempted to make the killer Muriel. I have to deal with the practicality of how the killer would find the victims hometowns/addresses. I’ve debated whether small bits of biographical info they posted could be used.

Would Muriel be too cliche?

too obvious. it should be a 'star' who has obsessive threads on here speculating about their sexuality

I could forgive Muriel for murdering some of us assholes. I think the murderer should be a prissy little intern who becomes enraged by pasta draining posts. He becomes positively murderous when he is accused of having a puny cocklet. His signature is to leave a flamboyant brooch at the scene of each murder. Muriel cottons on immediately, but in true Muriel fashion can't be bothered intervening.

Muriel would have all our credit card information and real names, so could easily find any of us.

Just something to consider before you go scorched earth in criticizing our beloved Muriel.

R52 Ahhhhhh. That’s a thought. Great creative idea.

The Diana Scream Queen should be the final girl. Or the first kill. I can’t decide.

I smell a franchise in the making! I'm looking forward to one of the films being set on a cruise ship for a DL convention. Bill Pullman as BILL TAYLOR being raped by Goofy will surely earn him an Oscar nom.

Let's give Sara PORKALOB a role.

She'd be sure to give 70% to the part. 75% if you're lucky.

[quote]Or the first kill. I can’t decide.

Give that spot to Erna.

[quote] So far this thread is dominated by A dull, obnoxious retard who is obsessed with himself for no apparent reason. A rightwing troll who enjoys doxxing people she doesn’t like and driving them to suicide.

[bold] RUDE, /bold] R26.

I have never driven anyone to suicide.

And it’s not for lack of trying.

Datalounge: The Musical!

The caftan kicklines will be fabulous!

It should be something like a John Waters movie, imo.

I wonder if it's one of the old authenticateds, tired of being forgotten. Beware the old queen yelling "I'm still big. It's Datalounge that got small!"

Muriel will be played by DL fave Viola Davis.

I always pictured Greg as looking like a first cousin or half-brother to Steve Martin.

Honestly OP. it's not a bad plotline for a murder mystery. I will give the production company $$$$ but I want to be an Executive Producer & Co-Director on the movie.

As long as it's better than "BROS" and makes more money!! I want to help with the casting of hot men under 40 yrs old, and Luke MacFarlane.

lol @ under 40 years old.

R66 you know what. This would be a great star vehicle for Luke. Austin Butler has now been fired.

[quote]Ryan Reynolds as Greg, please.

More like Debbie Reynolds. Overly cute and annoying.

I’ve been told that I resemble Matt Damon and two unrelated people told me that I sound like the late Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Strange.

R70 so you are kinda hot. Greg how old are you again?

Someone is being sued!

She hovers a bit much and is a creep, but this OP deserves what she gets for the last post alone:

Datalounge the movie My friend is thinking about writing a screenplay inspired by the site. It will be a black comedy slash horror. Yes black comedy slash horror not /horror lol.

When a serial killer begins murdering signed posters on a popular gay gossip site based out of San Francisco one user decides to become Sherlock Holmes. He must use his wits, street smarts, and Berkeley degree to find the masked killer in this parody of modern cinema, dinner murder mystery films, horror cliches, and gay culture.

Datalounge the movie R1 I’m thinking more of drowning by an overflowing shitty toilet in a locked bathroom.

Datalounge the movie R3 Negative. You will be played by Portia de Rossi.

Datalounge the movie R4 Greg you are are truly awesome. Truly a good person.

Datalounge the movie R3 are you lipstick lesbian?

Datalounge the movie Film will star Austin Butler.

Datalounge the movie R12 No No No

Steve Carrell will play “Greg” and Christopher Sieber his husband. Also the Greg inspired character will be the only victim to successfully fight back against the killer and escape.

Tilda Swinton will play Muriel.

Datalounge the movie R16 Deal. Also sorry you are 2nd to die.

Datalounge the movie R17 And don’t bring yo stankin ass back bitch.

Datalounge the movie Titus Burgess will play Janbot in the hilarious opening scene and first to die.

Think Drew Barrymore opening in Scream meets Schitts Creek

Datalounge the movie R34, Rescue I asked you a question

Datalounge the movie R28 I actually really like that concept and premise. With that being said,

Try not to one up me on my own thread.

Datalounge the movie R40 Oh ok. I don’t know how I got in my head you two are same person.

Datalounge the movie Can anyone guess who the killer is?

Datalounge the movie I’m tempted to make the killer Muriel. I have to deal with the practicality of how the killer would find the victims hometowns/addresses. I’ve debated whether small bits of biographical info they posted could be used.

Would Muriel be too cliche?

Datalounge the movie R52 Ahhhhhh. That’s a thought. Great creative idea.

Datalounge the movie R66 you know what. This would be a great star vehicle for Luke. Austin Butler has now been fired.

Datalounge the movie R70 so you are kinda hot. Greg how old are you again?

I Fucked a Murderer Yes OP. I’m tired of black men being railroaded by the system. Then he can railroad you on the daily. R1 be nice, he said he used to be thin.

I Fucked a Murderer Remember there are two sides to every story and this man has not been convicted in a court of law.

To my Stalker I have never used FF or trolldar but I always know it’s you bitch. Always. I’m a genius and can always decipher your code speak, microaggression, mockery and general cuntiness.

10 Biggest Actresses of All Time Julia Roberts

Elizabeth Taylor

Grace Kelly

Faye Dunaway

Bette Davis

Joan Crawford

Angelina Jolie

Sandra Bullock

Jennifer Lopez

Meryl Streep

R1 (the movie character) will be played by Amber Heard

Considering the clientele here, it should be "DataLounge the Moobie."

Is Chaz Bono available to play the Brooklyn Seacow?

[quote] R70] so you are kinda hot. Greg how old are you again?

56

And I would definitely fight back against the killer and escape.

And after my bold and daring escape, I’d go straight home and serve cocktails and dinner to six of my closest friends.

Lol. You see this is why I love Greg. And I further love that this will piss off half the site who can’t stand Greg.

R73 Get off me bitch. Get off and stay off.

R79, Mwah!

David Draiman from Disturbed IS Muriel.

Margo Martindale IS Ruth Madoff.

Sam Champion IS Greg.

Cockgobbler stars in a cameo role.

So R73, Greg is the one who called Greg “truly a good person”? Love that.

Lol @ Sam Champion as Greg.

I don’t know why you fuckin dweebs think Greg and I are the same person. It’s very tiresome at this point. And I’ve seen you accuse other posters of being Greg as well. You really need a life if you think I would pretend to be a middle aged white man from Boston.

Middle-aged? Saw the Midfle Ages is more like it.

[quote] So [R73], Greg is the one who called Greg “truly a good person”? Love that.

[bold] No. [/bold]

So Greg you in these streets looking like The Talented Mr Ripley and sounding like Truman Capote.

[quote] You really need a life if you think I would pretend to be a middle aged white man from Boston.

There are worse things, Othello.

[quote] So Greg you in these streets looking like The Talented Mr Ripley and sounding like Truman Capote.

No

Greg appears in the movie but is killed in the first five minutes after he tragically trips and dies in a greasefire. The movie has a happy ending-- everyone who obsesses over Greg dies in an asteroid strike.

[quote] I’ve been told that I resemble Matt Damon and two unrelated people told me that I sound like the late Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Greg, your nickname in the DL movie can be The Talented Mr. Recipely.

R91 ah yes. The joke works if you remember what you posted above.

r86 does raise an interesting point. How many victims will be the wrong victim, a case of mistaken identity? You go to all the trouble of planning the perfect death for the authenticated and then pick the wrong person thinking they're a sock puppet. Tragique!

It's hard out there for a serial killer.

Billy Porter for Miss Warwick.

[quote]Will there be a scene with Muriel at the switchboard?

It's already been filmed.

But who will play BILL TAYLOR?

I picture it something like this.

R98, see R57.

I don’t care, as long as Donald Trump DIES at the end!

[quote] [R91] ah yes. The joke works if you remember what you posted above.

Yes, R94, I got the reference.

It was clever and made me laugh.

I take it back, R94, this is what made me laugh:

[quote] Greg, your nickname in the DL movie can be The Talented Mr. Recipely.

I envision a scene where Our Hero, on the trail of the murderer, finds himself crashing Bea Benaderet's New Year's party. Great opportunity for CGI/AI to put all those actresses together in one room.

And for the finale, when the killer is unmasked the camera cuts to a close-up of Susan Dey, who has no comment. Just a slight shake of her head...

Hi, Greg.

Hello, R93.

You are very amusing, R93.

I want:

Quick sand

A drawn-out poison death with vomit, shit, and blood ruining all the chenille upholstery

One furtive blowjob in the semi-dark with cicada music as the establishing shot

R98 I could imagine Tom Hanks playing BILL TAYLOR.

Who will play Brendad?

R110 Jess Walton

[quote]But who will play BILL TAYLOR?

Anyone who looks like Frank Bielec will do. In fact, they'll probably work for most of the roles.

Brendad can play herself ... just remember to have craft services order lots of Gelson's potato salad.

We can have Paul Mescal play the Paul Mescal poster.

Potatoe!

Tori Amos has been asked if she'd be interested in writing the score. We've yet to have a reply.

[quote]We can have Paul Mescal play the Paul Mescal poster.

It would make for an ironic twist if some stan poster turns out to be the actual person.

[quote]I’ve been told that I resemble Matt Damon and two unrelated people told me that I sound like the late Philip Seymour Hoffman.

But which Matt Damon? Beautious Ivy Frat Damon of the 90s or Fat Damon of The Whistleblower?

*Bootious

Shut-in #4, the belligerent frau who posted daily about their fruitless quest for Lysol wipes during Covid (dramatically, as if her posts would someday make their way into a Ken Burns doc) should be played by Wallace Shawn.

Brendad Ickson IS Brendad Ickson.

Jeremy Jordan IS VoiceOfTheNight.

Patti LuPone IS Mrs. Patsy Ramsey.

Barrie Youngfellow as Muriel. She pivots in the opening credits.

Millie Bobby Brown IS Judy Pills.

Eugenia Cooney IS Darfur Orphan.

The Bonnie Franklins, a tap dancing tribute troupe, will be entertaining in the opening and closing credits. Red muppet wigs and braless t-shirts are their uniform.

[quote]everyone who obsesses over Greg dies in an asteroid strike.

So, no one?

[quote] So, no one?

No, R126, I think a good many people would die in that strike.

R126 well, except for the “man” himself.

And many, many others.

Greg

rescue-chick

Ummm the plot, "When a serial killer begins murdering signed posters". There's not a lot of those unless they are all coincidentally linked because of being named 'anonymous'. Maybe the serial killer is not so choosy?

What is the killers motive? Is he straight and hates gays (I'm assuming it's a 'he') jealous, hates bad posts?

I'd love the opening theme to be disco. Start out in a SF YMCA, Village Peeps song playing in the background or is that too corny now? Or should it start out in Greg's kitchen...he's making some delicious meal...the phone rings...

Winona Ryder IS Lipstick Lesbian.

Brianne Howey IS Britney Spears.

Peter Gallagher IS Phillywhore.

I would be happy to be played by Steve Martin (even though I look much younger).

But I do look more like Matt Damon.

[quote] Or should it start out in Greg's kitchen...he's making some delicious meal...the phone rings...

Greg: “Rosario—you know how I love when you take your time answering the goddamn phone.”

Jesse Plemons as Greg.

Sorry to break in, but I know Bill Taylor's been mentioned. Anyway, Disney's gotten wind of the Raped by Goofy scene. I told them it would be handled with taste and sensitivity, but they don't seem happy. Anyone know our liability on that kind of thing?

Queen Victoria IS Pollyanna Prisspot, School Marm.

Luc Schiltz IS Dutchie.

Austin Victoria IS DoomLA.

This idea will work much better as a series.

r131, I am going to need you to not post my real life photos again!

Grant Show IS Greg's husband.

Shailene Woodley IS Rescue Chick.

Andy Samberg IS menluvinguy.

[quote]I think a good many people would die in that strike.

REALLY? Huh. Imagine that. I never knew Betty Crocker recipes could get so many people in a tizzy.

Perez Hilton IS BlindItems.

Jason Alexander IS CandyMan.

Zoë Kravitz IS Meghan Markle.

Riverdale Cheryl IS Cheryl.

Maria de Madeiros will be drafted to play me, thank you very much RC/R34.

(Kathy Bates look like a lot of fun to hang out with, she can play my straight best friend from the Boston area.)

Madison Cawthorn is Alec from Shriner's.

Lea DeLaria IS Senior Lesbian.

Claudia Schiffer IS GOOP.

Dr. Heckle and Mr. Snide vs. Frauenstein

Ian McKellen who is 84 playing the Holmes character who is supposed to be in his 30's

Catherine Zeta-Jones as Jon-Benet Ramsey

Didn’t people make shows on Zoom during Covid?

I agree that this should be a series.

R156 Amy Adams for Mrs. Pat Ramsey formerly of Boulder, CO?

To R133- I agree with your choice of actor for me, Peter Gallagher (looks great in a suit-looks like a wealthy financial advisor& Attorney

I can get you a Netflix deal (should be a mini-series)

I need to audition hot guys in their 40's to play my BF Shaun(future husband)

Brian Baumgartner IS Dutchie.

[quote] I never knew Betty Crocker recipes could get so many people in a tizzy.

They wouldn't, R145.

Sarah Lancashire IS BonniePrinceCharlie.

PoisonedDragon

Is it "ok" to nominate a victim or will the self-styled DL Rookie Police Force come at us?

could do it like a game of clue r164!

Doonie DooWard.

Bonnie Prince Charlie gets the Wes Anderson treatment. He needs attire fashioned from several different sources of natural fiber and things like that.

Roy Khan IS NorwegianCatholic.

The film could be a re-enactment of that incident a couple of months ago where someone hacked the site and said it was closing. Our very own 9/11.

They didn't hack the site and say it was closing. It was some random loon who claimed that.

[quote] ... or will the self-styled DL Rookie Police Force come at us?

The DL junior police might come after you, but you can just ignore them or allow me to respond.

Lawrence Fishburne, R163? I'm honored, but I'm not black.

I'm so white that I'm faintly luminescent. Irish/English descent, with traces of French and German.

I reckon I don't mind being color-flipped for the movie, though. It doesn't bother me.

You're kidding. For years I've thought you were black!

My mind can't accept this, so I am glad you are happy to be played by Lawrence Fishburne.

Luke Evans as Luke Evans (in a speedo and looking sunburnt, of course).

It's one of life's great tragedies that Leslie Jordan did not live to star in this movie.

[quote] Luke Evans as Luke Evans

The rich, Corinthian leather of a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba as Luke Evans.

Since this is a dark comedy, I assume PoisonedDragon dies in a church. But why? What's he doing there?

Now rescue chick, I admit I'm too squeamish to settle on dogfight. But maybe a kiwi farm? A Trans rights protest? Hmmm.

I am thinking hair bleach tragedy

Can we work in a runaway wheelchair scene somehow?

my dog could chase a squirrel while I am wheelchair bound and we go over a cliff, landing in a grease fire.

R179, it should be involving Madison Cawthorn

Helen Lawson IS Helen Lawson.

Who will play Cheryl?

Or Ginny from Billing?

Cheryl = Margo Martindale

r179 r181 see r151

Earning the 1st Oscar for Dead Actor In A Motion Picture is Leslie Jordan.

We tied him to a blanket ladder and trapped some mice in his mouth so he moves about the set.

We’ve also worked it out to where he lays on his belly with knees bent and hands under chin for tv viewing, reading, eating finger sandwiches, and getting his ass eaten.

Who will play the piss whore Dotty?

Who is playing the Shit Brickhouse troll?

Vivian Vance says she will join in. She will be Lily of the Valley.

With Sherilyn Fenn and Mindy Cohn as themselves.

I understand there are to be many rewrites.

My partnership would like to license the title

DataLounge The Movie - On Ice!

We don’t need a plot.

I will not play a fag who supposedly looks like me. I do have a proposed title for the sequel though: Datalounge II - Electric Fagaloo!

There is no other actress that can "boppity-bop" like Linda Lavin. Therefore, she will play herself.

R177, PoisonedDragon is a Texan, of course he’d be at church. You don’t need to make up no *reason* to be at church in the South.

[quote] Bootious

What does that mean?

Julia Roberts as Harriet Tubman

We are going to have wayyyy too many raci$t$ showing up for the Maya Angelou poetry slam.

“Overly bronzed” actors will be turned away.

[quote] I will not play a fag who supposedly looks like me.

You mean you won’t play a fag who is a better version of you—more youthful, more money, and better rested.

We won't sign-off on it unless it stars Zendaya and Adam Driver.

Nurtured in the corn fields of Iowa…

Olivier Richters IS The Shit Brickhouse Troll.

No the Shit Brickhouse troll looks just like lead singer of AC/DC, except he’s American.

Pooh Shiesty as Poo Shoes

You need a 5'2" fag to play faggy Matt Damon

The Chordettes ARE the act playing live at the club during the murder scene.

Poo Shoes could be played by any rural community theater's haggard version of Helen Mirren. We old-timers have seen her jaunty photo.

Intermission entertainment by The Mobility Marys, actual DL eldergays on their mobility scooters, singing a rendition of "OH MY GAWWWD!"

I've pondered on this, and I know precisely who the killer will be. None other than John aka PMBT. He hooks up with the From North Troll, and is triggered by a PTSD flashback when he sees a Datalounge tab open on the North Troll's phone. Using his oft talked about degree, John hacks the site and begins picking us off one by one.

I would originally have gone with Darren Criss as John/ PMBT, but would that be typecasting him too much to play another gay killer?

I'm Joan Van Ark, passing out gift bags at the premier of Datalounge: The Movie. Included in the bag are a droplet of Ted Shackleford's cum, a lock of Constance McCashin's pubic hairs, and a Dollar Tree Pound Cake.

What if...Lens was the killer??

Introducing Rufus Wainwright in his debut motion picture performance as the elusive Judy "Pills" Garland. A man of glamour and intrigue...

R211 I would imagine around here Lens would've been the dead body, with every DLer taking a turn-like Murder on the Orient Express.

I think Christopher Guest should make a mockumentary of Datalounge.

The possibilities can be taken from the hard to parody DL characters and postings.

Why a Cal degree, Op? Stanford not good enough for this flick?

R179, I think we had a cantankerous wheelie DLer in upstate NY several years ago, pre-covid. They were really into frozen food.