Let’s Be Backstage Antics at A Beauty Pageant for Moms in Their Fifties

I’m the passive aggressive behavior.

I'm the snarky cunt asking the contestant in the pic, "Why the long face, dear?"

I’m the stinky pussies

I’m the shoulder pads and hairspray.

Her mother should've been a DL icon. The theme-parties sound like some seriously fun bitchery.

Im the Depends forced to be in close contact with sewery snatches.

When her husband asked, “What do you want to do about it?” He was hoping for a particular answer and it was not, “Enter a beauty pageant!”

She harps on her mom, who was giving her reasonable advice based on how people are treated in the real word, but give no thought to the bullshit she is pushing on her own son. If you start out average looking and have a kid at 45, there is no way in hell he is going to think you are the most beautiful woman in the world.

She is simultaneously mad at her mom for being beautiful and mad at her son for not being a liar or delusional.

Get a fucking neck lift and a less ugly shirt and shut up.

Should be “Sad old frau attempts to feel pretty by entering a beauty contest and FAILS”

R7 Give grandma a break. She didn’t find a man until she was 44, and had to push out a kid through perimenopause.

Her mother has crazy eyes and wore black to her daughter's wedding. I think the instability goes way back in that family.

I wish dementia had robbed her mother’s ability to speak 58 years ago. Then we would have been spared the daughter, her teeth, her hideous friends, having to read the word “empowering”, Toothy’s son and the image of a grimy Trump bra without a punchline.

And who the fuck grabs their mother by their neck fat? My mum was a sadistic bitch , and I have much anger towards the Hairy Midget, but I can’t imagine a) getting that close to her voluntarily and b) squeezing her neck fat. Doesn’t it sound both too intimate and too brutal?

That entire essay was kind of pathetic.

I liked the essay