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Dinner Dillema

A friend asked me and another friend to have dinner today. We usually go out to dinner the three of us and sometimes a couple of others. We always discuss previously which restaurant we should go, so that everyone agrees.

On Thursday i receive a message from friend a suggesting an italian restaurant famous for pizzas and for us to answer quickly to make the reservation . I answer saying i am not in mood for pizza, but will go if there are other things inthe menu. Friend B answers to say it was his idea and that there a few other things.

Yesterday I receive a message from friend A saying a different restaurant has been reserved together with a link to the website and see you there. Friend B answer immediately saying is fine. I was not asked and this has never happened before.

I actually would like to go but am really pissed off by this. Should I go? Am I being to sensitive?

by Anonymousreply 85September 30, 2023 7:44 AM

In the universe I come from, it's spelled "dilemna."

by Anonymousreply 1September 23, 2023 12:38 PM

Absolutely not! Slam your purse on the table, stomp up and down, and refuse to leave your house. How dare they change plans to go to Pizza Hut for Denny's? Tell them that you just ate a " Moon Over My Hammy" yesterday. That'll show them that you are not a person to be ignored.

by Anonymousreply 2September 23, 2023 12:43 PM

OP? An early bird special is an early bird special. As long as they have a choice between a jello square, tapioca or ice milk for dessert you’ll be fine.

by Anonymousreply 3September 23, 2023 12:58 PM

Chill, Mary.

by Anonymousreply 4September 23, 2023 1:00 PM

Bottom drama.🚨

by Anonymousreply 5September 23, 2023 1:06 PM

Shut up and go. BFD.

by Anonymousreply 6September 23, 2023 1:09 PM

OP: we cannot decide without links to both restaurants.

by Anonymousreply 7September 23, 2023 1:12 PM

Horrible. Sorry you're having to go through this, OP.

by Anonymousreply 8September 23, 2023 1:15 PM

I think you're being silly, but if it's making you mad then don't go.

by Anonymousreply 9September 23, 2023 1:15 PM

They might have changed restaurants because they saw you were unenthusiastic about the pizza place, and didn't consult you on the new place because they felt they had already in some sense "consulted you" by harkening to your perceived opinion on the first place (yes, I know it's shaky logic, but people do things by shaky logic all the time). The second guy agreed immediately because it was a set-up already privately discussed and he wanted to show that there were no hard feelings about changing to the new restaurant. Go, be pleasant, and see if you can tell by their attitude what's what. If the above is actually what's happening and you don't show up after they quietly did this to accommodate you, they'll be completely disgusted with you.

TL;DR: Go, and gauge their attitude.

by Anonymousreply 10September 23, 2023 1:34 PM

You're EXHAUSTING, OP.

by Anonymousreply 11September 23, 2023 1:57 PM

I like R10's take on this, and really OP, if this is your biggest dilemma this week, you're doing great.

by Anonymousreply 12September 23, 2023 2:02 PM

BASTARDS!

by Anonymousreply 13September 23, 2023 2:05 PM

The inhumanity of it all!

by Anonymousreply 14September 23, 2023 2:06 PM

LITERAL VIOLENCE

by Anonymousreply 15September 23, 2023 2:06 PM

OP, you're certainly in a pickle!

by Anonymousreply 16September 23, 2023 2:07 PM

OP you should decline and stay home. For ever.

by Anonymousreply 17September 23, 2023 2:07 PM

[Quote] Dillema

by Anonymousreply 18September 23, 2023 2:07 PM

I miss thé days when we would sum up a problem with a simple psychiatric diagnosis. DL has moved away from that these days. But I say clearly your friends are narcissists and you are a borderline. The evening will end in tears. Report back, OP.

by Anonymousreply 19September 23, 2023 2:08 PM

I'm starting a Gofundme for OP's pain and suffering.

by Anonymousreply 20September 23, 2023 2:09 PM

You (seemingly) have friends and you have food. What's the fucking problem?

by Anonymousreply 21September 23, 2023 2:09 PM

SHAME ON THEM!!!!

by Anonymousreply 22September 23, 2023 2:09 PM

Two's company, three's a crowd. Get the hint, OP.

by Anonymousreply 23September 23, 2023 2:10 PM

You ought to show them, OP. Show them your feelings are not to be trifled with by depriving them of your company. They'll be sorry.

by Anonymousreply 24September 23, 2023 2:11 PM

I can't comprehend having people you regard as 'friends', but can't sort this sort of thing out without drama. I'd go and make a joke about it, if I felt even slightly curious about the change of venue. Your friends have asked you to have a meal with them - it's not a special occasion (or you'd have told us,. at great length, sobbing at your keyboard, if it was). It doesn't matter what fucking restaurant you are meeting at.

by Anonymousreply 25September 23, 2023 2:18 PM

Would you like to borrow my shit-bra, OP?

by Anonymousreply 26September 23, 2023 2:21 PM

OP, are you a fat whore who is simply hangry, or are you a mincing prisspot who simply must be in control?

by Anonymousreply 27September 23, 2023 2:23 PM

OP, are you the same person who lost your temper at work yesterday?

by Anonymousreply 28September 23, 2023 2:26 PM

You told them you weren’t “in the mood” for the pizza place they wanted. So they picked somewhere else. Big deal.

by Anonymousreply 29September 23, 2023 2:27 PM

You're petty and insufferable, OP. You've come to the right place.

by Anonymousreply 30September 23, 2023 4:13 PM

It's not worth the fuss, just go!

by Anonymousreply 31September 23, 2023 5:13 PM

Maybe they are just finally sick of your fussing, drama and passive-aggressiveness OP.

by Anonymousreply 32September 23, 2023 6:52 PM

Hhaha, tks everyone for the advice (and insults), you convinced me to go (and value both Datalounge and my friends all the more).

by Anonymousreply 33September 23, 2023 6:55 PM

OP once you’ve resolved this massive dilemma you should acquaint yourself with the concept of the past tense. Not everything happens NOW.

by Anonymousreply 34September 23, 2023 7:14 PM

Cunts who veto the first choice don’t get a second cunt veto. If you don’t go, they’d be right to punch and delete.

by Anonymousreply 35September 23, 2023 8:52 PM

Go to dinner, and order pizza.

If this second restaurant doesn’t have pizza on the menu, spend the evening sulking.

by Anonymousreply 36September 23, 2023 9:30 PM

Is the new restaurant also a pizza place? Maybe they changed it without consulting you because they knew you weren't really into the first choice. But by all means, have a hissy fit. For maximum effect, wait until you get to the restaurant and use something about it as the pretext to cause a scene.

by Anonymousreply 37September 23, 2023 9:33 PM

If Greg were your friend, this would be no dillema, would it?

by Anonymousreply 38September 23, 2023 9:37 PM

[Quote] On Thursday i receive a message from friend a suggesting an italian restaurant famous for pizzas and for us to ****answer quickly**** to make the reservation

Here’s the clue in asterisks. Either: 1. This friend had very little time to spend setting up a rez 2. This friend is sick of the haggling over restaurants

If 1 then it makes sense they’d book an alt place asap. They probably felt they were appeasing your wish to not have 🍕

If 2 make sure you aren’t usually the one who negates what others suggest.

by Anonymousreply 39September 23, 2023 9:42 PM

Go. Compliment their choice of restaurant and the food. Everything is yummy. Maybe they're intentionally trying to piss you off so don't let them.

by Anonymousreply 40September 23, 2023 9:43 PM

[quote] I actually would like to go but am really pissed off by this. Should I go? Am I being to sensitive?

[quote] yes

[quote] no

If it’s a yes or no poll you can’t ask two questions at once.

But anyway, if you weren’t in the mood for pizza, you could have suggested another place to go, right?

I agree in the event of a second choice you should have been consulted. Why do you think they didn’t consult you?

My friends used to do a lot of stupid things when planning to get together, it began to get on my nerves and eventually I stopped hanging out with them as often. Never really missed it, either.

by Anonymousreply 41September 23, 2023 9:44 PM

OP use this as an opportunity to open up to your pals and have a good laugh about it

by Anonymousreply 42September 23, 2023 9:45 PM

Then don’t go.

by Anonymousreply 43September 23, 2023 9:48 PM

“Hey probably felt...” “Maybe they thought...”

If they felt OP didn’t like the first choice and were changing restaurants for that reason, isn’t it odd they didn’t tell OP that? These people seem either passive aggressive, or not very communicative, or both. Why couldn’t they tell OP what went on? It wouldn’t have been hard. Why didn’t OP ask?

by Anonymousreply 44September 23, 2023 9:49 PM

Did you add dill, illiterate OP?

by Anonymousreply 45September 23, 2023 9:49 PM

I don't understand how anyone cannot be in the mood for pizza.

by Anonymousreply 46September 23, 2023 9:49 PM

To be honest OP, the problem sounds a bit trivial, and I am tempted to call you high maintenance. This should not be an issue to be upset about - even if they acted inappropriately. Another aspect might be that this is just the last story of many, and you are unhappy about your friends and the behaviors for a longer time already.

Generally, I agree that having a group agree on something is almost as difficult as solving world peace. So somebody was probably tempted to make an executive decision to move on. If it's just about restaurant choices I propose for you to bring in two or three choices next time that you can live with. By doing that you get your will and you are still leaving the other choices.

by Anonymousreply 47September 23, 2023 9:53 PM

Maybe you're the third wheel, OP. Could be your two friends want to give you that hint.

by Anonymousreply 48September 23, 2023 9:54 PM

Is Dinner Dillema any relation to Dina Martina? Cousins?

by Anonymousreply 49September 23, 2023 10:00 PM

I’ve found that lots of times it’s a mistake to tell third parties (like this forum) about how you feel slighted in a situation. You probably should trust your instincts. You know the people involved, no one else here does.

I’ve found when I’ve told an impartial third party about such a situation, they rarely get it. I don’t think they want to. They usually just want to find ways to blame you for it. I guess it’s human nature. If you want a good analysis ask a therapist.

by Anonymousreply 50September 23, 2023 10:02 PM

r25 maybe I have crappy friends, like OP, but many times friends can annoy me but in a way that doesn't warrant addressing it in person. It's just one of those slight that you swallow and move on. I"m sure I do things that upset my friends as well, but just not something big enough to warrant a discussion.

OP feels slighted. I think they should go, and enjoy. BUT, I hate feeling managed or manipulated. If the other two had a side-bar conversation about a new restaurant then wanted to pretend it was organically decided in the group chat then I'd feel some type of way. But OP hasn't mentioned the new menu. It's likely that his friends care about him and wanted to quickly find a new option with open reservations (they can go quickly).

OP, your friends care about you and changed locations to a place with availability to please you. Get over yourself and enjoy.

by Anonymousreply 51September 23, 2023 10:14 PM

slights

by Anonymousreply 52September 23, 2023 10:15 PM

It’s dinner WTF? Let it go

by Anonymousreply 53September 23, 2023 10:59 PM

OP is obviously tired of just letting things go.

by Anonymousreply 54September 23, 2023 11:03 PM

You sound tedious, OP. These two obviously have separate conversations without and about you. You’ve done something to distance them. Move on or calm down.

by Anonymousreply 55September 23, 2023 11:07 PM

After reading this I had pizza for dinner. And I hadn't actually planned to do that. Thanks, OP.

by Anonymousreply 56September 23, 2023 11:52 PM

OP? Go for the company, stay for the chipped beef.

by Anonymousreply 57September 24, 2023 12:19 AM

The finer points of tactfulness and sensitivity are lost on r44 .

by Anonymousreply 58September 24, 2023 1:26 AM

R58 I guess you call it tactfulness and sensitivity to sweep things under the rug so that people harbor hidden resentments (like OP). If friends are so sensitive that you can’t say to them, “Hey, what happened to asking me what I wanted to do?’ And getting it aired, they must be high maintenance themselves.

by Anonymousreply 59September 24, 2023 9:17 PM

So how did it go last night, OP?

by Anonymousreply 60September 24, 2023 9:19 PM

Op here, i went and had ia lovely time, it is good to have friends and at the same time friendships are complicated. It is a much less investigated than romantic love but you still can feel insecure (like i did). I discussed my issue upfront and we laughed and it was so good that it became a non-issue. But your responses , i must say, helped to put things in perspective and inmy attitude . Thank you.

I ate a beef tartare as an entree and an hamburger with brie. It was a french restaurant. And, of course, wine.

by Anonymousreply 61September 24, 2023 9:21 PM

R61 So aren’t you gong to tell us what happened? Why they changed restaurants? Why they didn’t ask you? After we spent all this time on you?

by Anonymousreply 62September 24, 2023 9:25 PM

So this whole thread was for nought?!

Fuck you and your friends

by Anonymousreply 63September 24, 2023 9:33 PM

^ ignore

So this whole thread was for naught?!

Fuck you and your friends

by Anonymousreply 64September 24, 2023 9:34 PM

R62, friend a gave an excuse that bored me so much (the pizza thing was full etc) that when friend b arrived i was actually fed up with the subject. I made my point but, having read these sobering comments, i let it go. Again thank you bitches. Arrived home 5 am.

by Anonymousreply 65September 24, 2023 9:35 PM

The pizza thing? What’s that?

by Anonymousreply 66September 24, 2023 9:37 PM

[quote]Arrived home 5 am.

Three-way?

by Anonymousreply 67September 24, 2023 9:41 PM

R65 glad you had a great time. Did you get lucky with one of the waiters?

by Anonymousreply 68September 24, 2023 9:42 PM

So you were so upset you needed all of us to get involved but once it was all worked out it’s like okay I’m just too bored with this nonsense.

Worst thread ever.

by Anonymousreply 69September 24, 2023 9:47 PM

R 69, yeah i am an insecure but somehow balanced person, I listened to advice here. I didn’t want drama for its sake so like r10 said i gauged the attitude, found out i was the one being mary and let it go. Had some good time.

R68, no, the help was female. R67, also no, just a kiss at the end of the night with some stranger,

by Anonymousreply 70September 24, 2023 10:00 PM

"I ate a beef tartare as an entree and an hamburger with brie. It was a french restaurant. And, of course, wine."

Beef x2 suggests you still have a beef with them.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 71September 24, 2023 10:49 PM

OP you sound like one of those people who make a big drama about something and get all their friends involved, looking for attention, then It never amounts to anything and when their friends are all involved and concerned, they’re like, “Oh, it was no big deal, had a great time. Bye.”

by Anonymousreply 72September 24, 2023 11:04 PM

R72, I signed mary, somewhere. Maybe you should as well. 😘

by Anonymousreply 73September 24, 2023 11:21 PM

R70 just a kiss? A kiss on his cock more like! We all know what a slag you are when you've had a few too many!

by Anonymousreply 74September 24, 2023 11:32 PM

Just a kiss, r74, he was very much younger (and hirsute) than I. No cocks involved., I confess than i am much less of slag than i would like to be.

by Anonymousreply 75September 25, 2023 12:28 AM

Two can play at that game!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 76September 25, 2023 12:45 AM

Op you’re a silly shallow nelly queen

by Anonymousreply 77September 25, 2023 3:09 AM

Much ado about nothing.

Go out to dinner with your friends and have fun.

by Anonymousreply 78September 25, 2023 9:20 PM

I’m on Bistro MD

Joined the new Jenny Craig over the weekend. Waiting for my shipment. I’ve already had a phone consultation with a Jenny Craig coach! 30 lbs due to prednisone and being ill is all in my past now

by Anonymousreply 79September 25, 2023 9:34 PM

You’re Gen X, aren’t you, OP?

by Anonymousreply 80September 25, 2023 9:48 PM

I m, r80, why

by Anonymousreply 81September 25, 2023 11:06 PM

We can always tell the generation that gave us the Karen.

by Anonymousreply 82September 30, 2023 6:21 AM

The simplest solution would be to stop off at Arby's on the way to the resteraunt and bring your food with you.

by Anonymousreply 83September 30, 2023 6:30 AM

You are exhausting.

by Anonymousreply 84September 30, 2023 6:51 AM

[quote]Should I go? Am I being to sensitive?

Yes and [bold]YES[/bold].

by Anonymousreply 85September 30, 2023 7:44 AM
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