Dinner Dillema

In the universe I come from, it's spelled "dilemna."

Absolutely not! Slam your purse on the table, stomp up and down, and refuse to leave your house. How dare they change plans to go to Pizza Hut for Denny's? Tell them that you just ate a " Moon Over My Hammy" yesterday. That'll show them that you are not a person to be ignored.

OP? An early bird special is an early bird special. As long as they have a choice between a jello square, tapioca or ice milk for dessert you’ll be fine.

Chill, Mary.

Bottom drama.🚨

Shut up and go. BFD.

OP: we cannot decide without links to both restaurants.

Horrible. Sorry you're having to go through this, OP.

I think you're being silly, but if it's making you mad then don't go.

They might have changed restaurants because they saw you were unenthusiastic about the pizza place, and didn't consult you on the new place because they felt they had already in some sense "consulted you" by harkening to your perceived opinion on the first place (yes, I know it's shaky logic, but people do things by shaky logic all the time). The second guy agreed immediately because it was a set-up already privately discussed and he wanted to show that there were no hard feelings about changing to the new restaurant. Go, be pleasant, and see if you can tell by their attitude what's what. If the above is actually what's happening and you don't show up after they quietly did this to accommodate you, they'll be completely disgusted with you.

TL;DR: Go, and gauge their attitude.

You're EXHAUSTING, OP.

I like R10's take on this, and really OP, if this is your biggest dilemma this week, you're doing great.

BASTARDS!

The inhumanity of it all!

LITERAL VIOLENCE

OP, you're certainly in a pickle!

OP you should decline and stay home. For ever.

[Quote] Dillema

I miss thé days when we would sum up a problem with a simple psychiatric diagnosis. DL has moved away from that these days. But I say clearly your friends are narcissists and you are a borderline. The evening will end in tears. Report back, OP.

I'm starting a Gofundme for OP's pain and suffering.

You (seemingly) have friends and you have food. What's the fucking problem?

SHAME ON THEM!!!!

Two's company, three's a crowd. Get the hint, OP.

You ought to show them, OP. Show them your feelings are not to be trifled with by depriving them of your company. They'll be sorry.

I can't comprehend having people you regard as 'friends', but can't sort this sort of thing out without drama. I'd go and make a joke about it, if I felt even slightly curious about the change of venue. Your friends have asked you to have a meal with them - it's not a special occasion (or you'd have told us,. at great length, sobbing at your keyboard, if it was). It doesn't matter what fucking restaurant you are meeting at.

Would you like to borrow my shit-bra, OP?

OP, are you a fat whore who is simply hangry, or are you a mincing prisspot who simply must be in control?

OP, are you the same person who lost your temper at work yesterday?

You told them you weren’t “in the mood” for the pizza place they wanted. So they picked somewhere else. Big deal.

You're petty and insufferable, OP. You've come to the right place.

It's not worth the fuss, just go!

Maybe they are just finally sick of your fussing, drama and passive-aggressiveness OP.

Hhaha, tks everyone for the advice (and insults), you convinced me to go (and value both Datalounge and my friends all the more).

OP once you’ve resolved this massive dilemma you should acquaint yourself with the concept of the past tense. Not everything happens NOW.

Cunts who veto the first choice don’t get a second cunt veto. If you don’t go, they’d be right to punch and delete.

Go to dinner, and order pizza.

If this second restaurant doesn’t have pizza on the menu, spend the evening sulking.

Is the new restaurant also a pizza place? Maybe they changed it without consulting you because they knew you weren't really into the first choice. But by all means, have a hissy fit. For maximum effect, wait until you get to the restaurant and use something about it as the pretext to cause a scene.

If Greg were your friend, this would be no dillema, would it?

[Quote] On Thursday i receive a message from friend a suggesting an italian restaurant famous for pizzas and for us to ****answer quickly**** to make the reservation

Here’s the clue in asterisks. Either: 1. This friend had very little time to spend setting up a rez 2. This friend is sick of the haggling over restaurants

If 1 then it makes sense they’d book an alt place asap. They probably felt they were appeasing your wish to not have 🍕

If 2 make sure you aren’t usually the one who negates what others suggest.

Go. Compliment their choice of restaurant and the food. Everything is yummy. Maybe they're intentionally trying to piss you off so don't let them.

[quote] I actually would like to go but am really pissed off by this. Should I go? Am I being to sensitive?

[quote] yes

[quote] no

If it’s a yes or no poll you can’t ask two questions at once.

But anyway, if you weren’t in the mood for pizza, you could have suggested another place to go, right?

I agree in the event of a second choice you should have been consulted. Why do you think they didn’t consult you?

My friends used to do a lot of stupid things when planning to get together, it began to get on my nerves and eventually I stopped hanging out with them as often. Never really missed it, either.

OP use this as an opportunity to open up to your pals and have a good laugh about it

Then don’t go.

“Hey probably felt...” “Maybe they thought...”

If they felt OP didn’t like the first choice and were changing restaurants for that reason, isn’t it odd they didn’t tell OP that? These people seem either passive aggressive, or not very communicative, or both. Why couldn’t they tell OP what went on? It wouldn’t have been hard. Why didn’t OP ask?

Did you add dill, illiterate OP?

I don't understand how anyone cannot be in the mood for pizza.

To be honest OP, the problem sounds a bit trivial, and I am tempted to call you high maintenance. This should not be an issue to be upset about - even if they acted inappropriately. Another aspect might be that this is just the last story of many, and you are unhappy about your friends and the behaviors for a longer time already.

Generally, I agree that having a group agree on something is almost as difficult as solving world peace. So somebody was probably tempted to make an executive decision to move on. If it's just about restaurant choices I propose for you to bring in two or three choices next time that you can live with. By doing that you get your will and you are still leaving the other choices.

Maybe you're the third wheel, OP. Could be your two friends want to give you that hint.

Is Dinner Dillema any relation to Dina Martina? Cousins?

I’ve found that lots of times it’s a mistake to tell third parties (like this forum) about how you feel slighted in a situation. You probably should trust your instincts. You know the people involved, no one else here does.

I’ve found when I’ve told an impartial third party about such a situation, they rarely get it. I don’t think they want to. They usually just want to find ways to blame you for it. I guess it’s human nature. If you want a good analysis ask a therapist.

r25 maybe I have crappy friends, like OP, but many times friends can annoy me but in a way that doesn't warrant addressing it in person. It's just one of those slight that you swallow and move on. I"m sure I do things that upset my friends as well, but just not something big enough to warrant a discussion.

OP feels slighted. I think they should go, and enjoy. BUT, I hate feeling managed or manipulated. If the other two had a side-bar conversation about a new restaurant then wanted to pretend it was organically decided in the group chat then I'd feel some type of way. But OP hasn't mentioned the new menu. It's likely that his friends care about him and wanted to quickly find a new option with open reservations (they can go quickly).

OP, your friends care about you and changed locations to a place with availability to please you. Get over yourself and enjoy.

slights

It’s dinner WTF? Let it go

OP is obviously tired of just letting things go.

You sound tedious, OP. These two obviously have separate conversations without and about you. You’ve done something to distance them. Move on or calm down.

After reading this I had pizza for dinner. And I hadn't actually planned to do that. Thanks, OP.

OP? Go for the company, stay for the chipped beef.

The finer points of tactfulness and sensitivity are lost on r44 .

R58 I guess you call it tactfulness and sensitivity to sweep things under the rug so that people harbor hidden resentments (like OP). If friends are so sensitive that you can’t say to them, “Hey, what happened to asking me what I wanted to do?’ And getting it aired, they must be high maintenance themselves.

So how did it go last night, OP?

Op here, i went and had ia lovely time, it is good to have friends and at the same time friendships are complicated. It is a much less investigated than romantic love but you still can feel insecure (like i did). I discussed my issue upfront and we laughed and it was so good that it became a non-issue. But your responses , i must say, helped to put things in perspective and inmy attitude . Thank you.

I ate a beef tartare as an entree and an hamburger with brie. It was a french restaurant. And, of course, wine.

R61 So aren’t you gong to tell us what happened? Why they changed restaurants? Why they didn’t ask you? After we spent all this time on you?

So this whole thread was for nought?!

Fuck you and your friends

^ ignore

So this whole thread was for naught?!

Fuck you and your friends

R62, friend a gave an excuse that bored me so much (the pizza thing was full etc) that when friend b arrived i was actually fed up with the subject. I made my point but, having read these sobering comments, i let it go. Again thank you bitches. Arrived home 5 am.

The pizza thing? What’s that?

[quote]Arrived home 5 am.

Three-way?

R65 glad you had a great time. Did you get lucky with one of the waiters?

So you were so upset you needed all of us to get involved but once it was all worked out it’s like okay I’m just too bored with this nonsense.

Worst thread ever.

R 69, yeah i am an insecure but somehow balanced person, I listened to advice here. I didn’t want drama for its sake so like r10 said i gauged the attitude, found out i was the one being mary and let it go. Had some good time.

R68, no, the help was female. R67, also no, just a kiss at the end of the night with some stranger,

"I ate a beef tartare as an entree and an hamburger with brie. It was a french restaurant. And, of course, wine."

Beef x2 suggests you still have a beef with them.

OP you sound like one of those people who make a big drama about something and get all their friends involved, looking for attention, then It never amounts to anything and when their friends are all involved and concerned, they’re like, “Oh, it was no big deal, had a great time. Bye.”

R72, I signed mary, somewhere. Maybe you should as well. 😘

R70 just a kiss? A kiss on his cock more like! We all know what a slag you are when you've had a few too many!

Just a kiss, r74, he was very much younger (and hirsute) than I. No cocks involved., I confess than i am much less of slag than i would like to be.

Two can play at that game!

Op you’re a silly shallow nelly queen

Much ado about nothing.

Go out to dinner with your friends and have fun.

I’m on Bistro MD

Joined the new Jenny Craig over the weekend. Waiting for my shipment. I’ve already had a phone consultation with a Jenny Craig coach! 30 lbs due to prednisone and being ill is all in my past now

You’re Gen X, aren’t you, OP?

I m, r80, why

We can always tell the generation that gave us the Karen.

The simplest solution would be to stop off at Arby's on the way to the resteraunt and bring your food with you.

You are exhausting.

[quote]Should I go? Am I being to sensitive?

Yes and [bold]YES[/bold].