I Have Bed Bugs. Hold me, David!

Dispose of mattress. Burn house. Move out. You will never get rid of them.

Are they cute?

[quote]Hold me, David!

Douse yourself in gasoline bitch, I know I've got a lighter here somewhere.

That's why I don't have a bed. Well, that's one of the reasons why I don't have a bed.

Happy dance, happy dance!!!

DO, thank you, as always, for the reality check. How about coming to my apt. and having a bed bug feast? I understand they're high protein.

Cover your house with diatomaceous earth. Your place will resemble a winter wonderland for a while but at least it will kill those fuckers.

Throw out bed and/or get thick gauge plastic ZIPPER mattress cover. Take every soft thing you own and have laundry service wash in hot and dry hot. Pest control will kill everything else.

Don’t use at home methods. They’ll only drive bugs next door to ingest neighbors and come back to you in a few weeks. Have to get professionals to treat your unit and the unit to left, right, above, and below.

R7, R8, and R9, thank you so much. Sincerely. I'm freaking out a bit here and am grateful for your advice.

Are you in a house or an apartment/condo/townhouse/terrace?

OP, I just want to thank you. You’re delicious.

With dinner tomorrow night, could you have burgundy? I’ve been in the mood for it lately.

OP, your best friend is a vacuum cleaner. Get some diatomaceous earth, put it on floor and vacuum it up. There. Now every bedbug you vacuum up is going to die because it’s going to be coated in DE.

You can keep your mattress. Vacuum it, then enclose it in a special bedbug mattress cover that has special zipper cover that bedbugs can’t escape from. Everybody sells these special mattress covers - Macy’s, Kohl’s, Amazon, Target, etc.

I got rid of bedbugs in one weekend but they were only in my husband’s bedroom, not mine or my son’s. That doesn’t mean I didn’t treat the rest if my house - I did. Every stick of furniture, every screw holding a table or chair together, every wall socket. I got a duster, DE, safety goggles, N99 masks - I don’t know if they even sell N99 masks anymore. They are NIOSH approved.

I read a bazillion exterminator websites. That’s how you find out how to do your laundry, dry it, treat your shoes. Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum. Use DE, the websites can tell you.

I was freaked out for 5 months before I relaxed. They claim bedbugs can live 18 months without a blood meal, but there’s no way some bedbug is going to hang out in a closet for 18 months, then come out and bite you.

You’d be surprised how focused you get and how you can systematically rip the fuck out of your house and put it back together in 3 days.

I know some one who got rid of them. She threw out all her soft stuff and wiped down walls and hard furniture with string alcohol . She didn’t have carpeting.

Strong alcohol like the kind used in weed shops

Oh and my husband brought the bedbugs home from his parents house. They spent $4,000 on exterminators and a few months later had to do it again. It was a home health aide bringing them in. They had a 24 hour home health aide who slept at the house.

No way was i going to pay some high school dropout $4,000 and let them lecture me as if they were entomologists. I’d they can do it, I figured I sure as hell could do it.

You want to invest in a steamer for your clothes and fabrics. They’re not that expensive. Nowhere near as expensive as an exterminator.

[quote]OP, your best friend is a vacuum cleaner. Get some diatomaceous earth, put it on floor and vacuum it up. There. Now every bedbug you vacuum up is going to die because it’s going to be coated in DE.

PETA won't be happy.

You're fucked, OP.

Ewwwww

Whore !

In all seriousness OP that's my worst nightmare. Please report back on how you dealt with it. I wish I was there to offer you some emotional support. I know how stressed you must be.

R16, yes, steamer more efficient way to heat everything to killing temp. Take to laundromat and tumble all your soft shit on high for 30min. You can see bed bugs so you can hand eliminate them but check ridges cracks screw holes in furniture, edges of cabinets. Coat your bedlegs with Vaseline or masking tape to catch them.

Steam the edges of your mattress, that’s where they hide. Back of your framed art on the walls. Inside edges of every drawer.

One of my worst nightmares. Best of luck, OP.

You can also get a big makeup brush and lightly brush surfaces with DE.

Don’t put tons of DE around. It’s detrimental to your lungs. Use as lightly and sparingly as possible.

How do people usually get bedbugs? Is it about how clean you keep your house or does that have nothing to do with it?

Ozempic!!!!!!

R26 cleanliness has nothing to do with it unfortunately. They come from outside your home—on used furniture and new furniture (stored next to infected mattress carried out for disposal on same truck), people and their clothes, suitcases. It’s terrible. Even ritz has bedbugs. Don’t ever take used furniture without checking every inch. You can see them—one advantage. Plus, they walk, can’t fly.

Dollface alert!!!

You can pick up bedbugs on a bus, train, plane, in a movie theater, hotel.

Take a look at a screw on the bottom of a suitcase. Enlarge it and count the bugs

Damn R30.

Fixed for OP

[quote][R26] cleanliness has nothing to do with it unfortunately

Right.

[quote] OP, your best friend is a vacuum cleaner.

COULDN’T AGREE MORE

I think I would fake my death and run away

R21, thank you many times over for your kindness. I so appreciate all the helpful responses here. I am terrified of losing my job or going to work and bringing bed bugs with me that others will then suffer with. If I have to get rid of all my stuff, okay. But my job is what keeps me off the streets. I'm single, 50s, and very scared.

Where is that schmuck, David, anyway?

Op, you sound poor.

I am R18. We had to move my senior relative to another home and leave her furniture behind.

You have to hire a professional. Let them do the two day heat treatment. Heat brings them out and as it increases it kills them. Some are clever enough to retreat but you'll get 90% of them. Then gather all your clothing in plastic bags and send them out for de-lousing -- i.e. 90 minutes on "high" in an industrial dryer -- or to a dry cleaner that will agree to take clothes with bedbugs. Finally, find an exterminator that specializes in freezing bedbugs for treatment of all the crevices and potential hiding places the 10% may have hidden. All told, about 5 days of work and a bit of $$$. But you will be rid of bed bugs and not have to move.

[quote] How do people usually get bedbugs? Is it about how clean you keep your house or does that have nothing to do with it?

Not strictly cleanliness. They like clutter and overcrowding. Fraternity houses are great for bedbugs. The more bodies to feed on at night the better. Even moreso with lots of places to hide and breed.

R18-R38 and everyone who has posted: thank you, truly. Very helpful, practical advice and much-needed non-judgmental compassion.

I am now bagging up my junk in sealed garbage bags and plan to follow up as R38 recommends. I will not be defeated! (Until I am.)

I had a cancer scare this time last year, and the stress was nothing compared to this!

Thank you again.

Do they ever suck on your penis? Does it make you hard? Do you cum?

What would happen if you just ignore them?

Seal all of your clothes and books and smaller objects in plastics bags. Slowly run all of your clothes and other small items through the dryer (30 minutes is all you need). Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum. Place larger items in direct sunlight for a day. Call exterminator to have your home sprayed. If cheap or poor, you can do this yourself by spraying bedroom furniture, especially in crevices, and all baseboards of entire home. It will take months before you have your house back together. It really sucks.

I read that headboards are common hiding places, even wooden ones so I don't have one. I always check my pillows.

I stayed in a hotel (not a dump) in Denver with bedbugs. My legs we covered in bites up to my knees. A refund on the room hardly compensated for the horror.

DIY Bedbug kits for sale OP

[quote]Not strictly cleanliness. They like clutter and overcrowding. Fraternity houses are great for bedbugs. The more bodies to feed on at night the better. Even moreso with lots of places to hide and breed.

So, Bedbugs like frat bodies? They are such fags!

Nah. Don’t throw away anything yet unless you know exactly where they are hiding. I had this problem for months but they weren’t in my bed frame and mattress at all.

Get yourself a bottle of Cimexa. Got rid of my problem after two applications.

[quote] I know some one who got rid of them.

Me too. And then she died.

Never mind the DIY bed bug kits I just posted. I didn’t see the prices…they are way overpriced. You can buy for less money on Amazon. I bout Cimex, diatomaceous earth, safety goggles and N99 mask.

Don’t bother with bug sprays. They don’t work. Same with alcohol. I don’t know how the numbskull internet came up with alcohol. These 2 only kill bugs that are directly hit. Meanwhile, the other bedbugs run and hide behind your outlets.

Cimex leaves a residue so the bedbugs walk across it and die. Cimex works while you’re sleeping.

Also get a bed bug trap to put under each leg of your bed.

I used to know a really hot Brazilian guy who used to do assplay with a dustbuster. It's been a long time but remember liking it.

[quote] Place larger items in direct sunlight for a day

Bedbugs need to be exposed to 117-120 degree heat to die. If you’re in Arizona this might work. But not in Minnesota. Getting a clothes steamer works better.

So, they're not exclusively bedbugs, they're everything bugs.

R4 🤣

Well, OP? What’s the upshot?

The exterminator used an environmentally friendly spray in my apartment. It can take a bit of time to kill the bugs, so, as I understand it, instant results should not be expected. Indeed, I saw--and killed-- a bedbug in my vestibule yesterday and woke up this morning to find a very live bedbug on my pillow! I killed him, too. Starting to feel like Rambo. David is nowhere to be found, that coward!

On a serious note, I'm so grateful for all the support and great advice in this thread. The exploding house GIF also gave me a much-needed laugh. You all are fabulous. Many, many thanks!

[quote] The exterminator used an environmentally friendly spray in my apartment. It can take a bit of time to kill the bugs, so, as I understand it, instant results should not be expected

It’s diatomaceous earth and/or Cimex. Costs very little money. “It takes a bit of time” means the bugs have to walk over the dust or scrape part of the body over it. Then the bug slowly dries up.

Did they use heat?

Hi, R56. 😉 No heat. I'm on a high floor, so I'm not sure the heat treatment is possible?

I think the heat treatment involves taking stuff out of your house while it’s treated, so I don’t know how they do that in apartment buildings. Your neighbors definitely don’t want your bedbug ridden possessions in hallway.

Are they treating the other apartments in the building? It's a mistake if they don't at least test adjacent units. Our building had BBs in three apartments, and they were able to contain them.

Another year, the building next door had such a bad BB infestation, they had to move out the occupants in the 35 apartments, throw away/treat everthing, and put a huge baggie over the building to blast those bastards. V. expensive and scary, but postponement of bug world takeover was succesfully postponed

OP- Why would I want to hold David-

He’s CHUBBY and AVERAGE looking.

[too late to edit]^

r13 why do you sleep in a different bedroom than your husband?

I get too hot sleeping in same bed, plus my husband is Asperger’s who can’t bear for me to make the slightest noise in bed. Fuck that, I like to read n bed…he wouldn’t even let me have an itty bitty book light. The light from my iPad mini bothers him.

He’s a fucking pain in the ass.

How do u know if u have bed bugs...bites on ur body? Im in bed here reading and feeling itchy just reading about them...im vacuuming asap lol.

Size meat verificata?

R65 With the swelling from the bites or without.

Bedbug bites become itchier the more bites you get bitten over time.

I bought a liquid on Amazon that I use when I’m washing my sheets OP. It is a repellent. So I’ve been using it for a year or so now and other than the occasional critter, I haven’t had any problems.

And vacuuming also helps.

They bite my cooter, y'all!

Thinking of you OP. Not your fault of one sees how it can feel shameful.

*but one sees how it can feel shameful.

Live in a townhouse. My neighbor had his place fumigated due to bedbugs. Of course I became paranoid. Even though I had no bites. Got out my flashlight at 2am and started hunting. To my horror I found a bedbug . Put the vermin in a pill bottle. Called the exterminator who showed the next day. Preparing for the worse I showed him by little friend. He took a look." Do you eat apples in bed?"

OP are you in NYC?

1. Your landlord is responsible for treatment/payment from what I recall. If in another city check your city’s gov website.

2. Buy mattress bags on Amazon or in Lowes. You can encase your mattress and sleep on it until it’s treated. If you dispose of it in NY it must be sealed. If you are keeping it get a 2nd bag to use after treatment

3. Get black, white and clear bags to depending if I would wash, just put in dryer or throw stuff out. Exterminators do say putting stuff in the dryer works. I washed everything anyway.

It’s a lot of work to get ready but it will be over soon.

1. WORK If/when you tell someone at work chances are they’ll say: oh I just got treated two weeks ago. That’s when you realize you got it from them.

2. HEADBOARD the exterminator can tell you what they think. I talked to 2: 1st recommended sealing cracks/joints after treatment. The other said treatment was enough.

3, DOG if the exterm is using a BB sniffing dog, do not go out and get herbal home cures as it can throw dogs off scent

Many, many thanks again for the great suggestions, as well as compassion. I put bed bug encasements (6-sided, zippered, with Velcro zipper closures) on both my box spring (where I saw and DESTROYED bedbugs clinging to the outer box springs--MARY!) and mattress. I also detached my headboard from the bed, moved it away from the bed frame, and put interceptors under the four bed feet. Since taking these measures, I have not seen any more of these wicked mofos on my bed. Combined with the exterminator's spray, I seem to be getting relief and a good night's sleep.

I so appreciate the DL support. My hunch is that quite a few of you are in NYC and thus sadly familiar with the mind-fucking menace of bed bugs. I am in a large Ohio city, one of three that always seem to make the top ten list of U.S. bed bug cities. Sigh.

you brought them home from your anon bb bottom party at the days inn you had last weekend.

OP here with an update, in case anyone wants one: Exterminator came again for a follow up with certified sniffing dogs, and NO BED BUGS! Fuckers are GONE!

I plan to continue all precautions just in case, but I'm sleeping easier now.

Thank you so much for helping me through this ordeal. I would have lost my mind without DL. Seriously.

Hugging has to stop.

Covid took a terrible toll, but, after reading this helpful thread, I'm paranoid about how we've gotten back to hugging.

Maybe public bodily distance isn't so bad.

Asian cultures who bow at greeting have it figured out.

[quote] Is it one or two words: bedbugs or bed bugs?

It's one word.

When staying in a hotel (whether it’s a Ritz-Carlton or Motel 6 = bed bugs don’t discriminate), place your suitcase in the bathtub. Leave it there until you inspect the mattress, headboard etc however, I’ve gotten into the habit of just leaving my Tumi in the tub as it’s the safest place for it.