How do bakeries work?

Did you tell them you're gay?

No R1. Everything so far email.

[quote]How do bakeries work? ... I have a cake recipe I sent to a cake shop here and asked them if they could use my recipe and decorate it. I've never received a reply and I'm thinking it's too intimidating for them.

That's... not how bakeries work, OP.

Do you try this same trick at restaurants?

[quote]Did you tell them you're gay?

[quote]No [R1]. Everything so far email.

Do you generally struggle to read social cues and understand context?

Perhaps there's someone near you who works out of their house making custom cakes. Of course, if you're part of that segment that freaks at the thought of eating food someone actually made in their kitchen, you're SOL.

OP...

I was joking. R3 is correct.

I'm guessing you'd have to find a more high-end bakery to do a cake like that.

The lower-end bakeries probably do use mixes and don't want to fool with someone else's recipe.

I know you were joking R1.

Can't see R3. Sorry.

Sounds delicious. OP, why don't you try to make it?

I may R10. I've made it before and it was fantastic, though amateurish looking, but space is an issue now. I may buy some cake accessories to make it a bit easier. A big knife is needed for slicing the domes off the top and cutting layers. Decorating it is the biggest issue I'll have.

Get a long serrated knife, r11.

Fuck r1 beat me to it.

I worked in a bakery years and years ago… I just cleaned up in the back.

No mixes were involved is all I know.

I got the joy of scraping dough off the floors and cleaning all the many metal bowls and beaters.

R3 😂 😆. Imagine going to Nobu and going in the back and telling the staff how the sashimi should be prepared.

If you're pouring a ganache glaze over it you don't really need to get the icing perfect. What helps is to put the icing in a piping bag so you can pipe an even layer on. Smooth it out with a bench scraper. I love watching this video of a cake being frosted, so hypnotic.

I don’t know if this is real or not but if it is this is why I love gay people. Who else would tell an eatery or establishment how they want a dish prepared and send a recipe. OP you are fkin hilarious. Love you.

OP, I think you'll find a Patisserie is the place where a better, classier product is made. Perhaps someone like Dudu Outmezgine. Insta @duduoutmezgine He's from Tel Aviv......absolute perfection.

OP, why don’t you just bake your own fucking cake? Or are you too fat to stand that long?

I hope you weren't really stupid enough to email your own recipe to a bakery and ask them to make it for you.

R19 ruins a fun thread with unnecessary meanness.

[quote]OP, I think you'll find a Patisserie is the place where a better, classier product is made.

The better and classier the Patisserie (and it must be very good, indeed, to be capitalized), the less they will need or want to take on the thankless job of making OP's cake to OP's recipe and OP's expectations.

[QUOTE]I'm thinking it's too intimidating for them.

It's *them,* not me! 😆

I’m sure they’re all laughing at that e-mail and your coffee mousse. Good gawd. Why didn’t you just send them the page from Better Homes and Gardens in the mail? lol

OP? I guess you’re more Betty Cracker than Betty Crocker, huh?

Go out with a bang, OP

Bitch, that coffee mousse is to die for. That crap bakery would be lucky to get hold of my recipe.

Decision made to make it myself. I'm sure it will taste better than some dry cake from a baker and, no, I'm not too fat to stand.

[quote]I'm guessing you'd have to find a more high-end bakery to do a cake like that.

You can tell them what you want but they're going to be using their own recipe and methods.

R19 is 100% correct.

Op is literally preposterous

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice...

The bakery will do a better job than he who must not be named.

If you are implying I am THAT troll R32, rest assured I am not.

Which troll are you then R33?

A long time DLer R34.

I'm not sure THAT troll is still here. I blocked it long ago. Seemed to disappear along with LL.

ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT GREG???

Why take a recipe to a bakery? Why not bake your own cake to your specifications? No drama, no nothing.

OP, if you were that troll you would be making your own "croquembouche" or some other old world pastry.

You know what I miss? The Galloping Gourmet guy that used to post here. He was laugh out loud hilarious.

Greg is there any chance of you being more like him?

OP, I am not a troll.

And I was just about to give you some very good advice in this matter.

[quote] Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice...

Good morning.

[quote] Greg is there any chance of you being more like him?

I’m afraid not, R40.

[quote] I'm not sure THAT troll is still here. I blocked it long ago. Seemed to disappear along with LL.

I am right here.

And I do not like being spoken of in the same breath as LipstickLesbian.

“OP, I am not a troll.”

Trolls don’t necessarily know they are trolls.

I don't see anything wrong with what OP did, if the bakery made custom cakes. It's like giving a contractor blueprints to a she-shed you want built in your back yard. Not comparable to a restaurant with a set menu.

Bakeries have set menus.

So I had COVID this past Mother’s Day. I was trying to figure out a safe cake method. So I called around to different bakeries and got one that did have a set menu. She loved it when they delivered it. It may just be something with a particular bakery and the way they do things.

And some make custom cakes, r47.

Well, I'm very sad to hear that R43.

I wish I could find some of his threads. He was beyond fantastic.

I thought bakers used a wire to slice the dome off

[quote] Well, I'm very sad to hear that [R43]. I wish I could find some of his threads. He was beyond fantastic.

I am sorry for your loss, R40/R50.

Best of luck in your endeavors.

[quote] I thought bakers used a wire to slice the dome off

Yes, of course.

Or a knife with a long, thin blade.

[quote] OP, if you were that troll you would be making your own "croquembouche" or some other old world pastry.

🥱

[quote] ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT GREG???

I BELIEVE SO, R37!!!

[quote] The bakery will do a better job than he who must not be named.

Perhaps, R32.

It will have to be a bakery where everything is homemade, using only the finest ingredients.

It will have to be a bakery of exemplary taste.

It will have to be a bakery that does not make blue roses out of Crisco frosting.

My cakes are unsurpassed in their quality and are understated and sophisticated in their appearance.

[quote]My cakes are unsurpassed in their quality and are understated and sophisticated in their appearance.

Please immediately start a thread about your cakes R56. Post images of your understated and sophisticated cakes please. I foresee it becoming a DL classic.

How many 95’ers are on this thread? So far we’ve got Greg and the OP.

Absolutely nothing in your post remotely resembles the way bakeries work, OP.

Are you from outer space? Or are you Tommy Wiseau? (The latter question may be redundant.)

R19, 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I grew up in a bakery, before leaving home morbidly obese at 17. That’s how good my family bakery was. I worked there, and anyone thinking OP is high maintenance has never delivered and assembled a birthday cake. OP, if this is real, you should know the bakery didn’t return your email because there was no time to do so. Bakeries make the money they do by concentrating on quantity, not one off special recipes. They’d have to pay someone used to baking in huge quantities to do tour one of a kind cake via an unknown recipe, then someone would have to flavor the icing & coffee mousse, wait for the stand alone four layers to cool, assemble it all & hope you showed up to pick it up. Ain’t gonna happen. So why would they waste time engaging in discussion? Find a home baker with a persecution complex or better yet try to bake it yourself. It will give you an appreciation of other people’s crafts.

A professional baker likely won't use your recipe because they have their own recipes. If they used your recipe and the end-product was sub par, they wouldn't want to be associated with it.

Who would have the gall to go to a bakery and tell them to use your own personal recipe. That's a lot, even for a Datalounger. You would be better off hiring someone from Task Rabbit to make the cake for you.

So gerg is still trolling? Gross.

You could probably work with a local bakery to make a cake according to your own recipe, but you shouldn't arrange it through an email. It's too "outside the box" to solicit a customized order for a small business like a bakery. Call them up and ask to speak to the manager, or better yet, show up in person and talk to them face to face.

"How bakeries work" is how most small businesses work: on a wing and a prayer with little room for risk. Accepting a customized order through a random email is not good business practice from their perspective.

[quote] So gerg is still trolling? Gross.

R64, you are pretty immature.

You might consider growing up.

R58/ElderLez, I don't believe the Gergtroll has been here since 95. Just a hunch. It types like a troll who showed up later and has had many names.

He claims to be as does the OP which seems quite ….coincidental.

Well, it may well be coincidental, EL.

And R67, I don’t really care what you think, but I was here from the beginning. You, however, sound like a real dimwit.

I was the author of the many ‘Philip from Formaggio Kitchen’ posts.

I hope you aren't that naive R68.

What do you mean, R70?

would you post the recipe please.-

What recipe, R72?

Sorry R72. I'm not that one.

r73 OP's recipe for the cake.

I asked you a question, R70.

Okay, I'll bite... OP, if you want someone else to make your cake, hire a caterer or private chef. They'll do that sort of thing.

As for bakeries, just stop and think a minute. You walk in and look at the display cases. A variety of cakes, cookies, pies, pastries, tarts, brownies, and maybe muffins, donuts, and other goodies. Not to mention baguettes, croissants, etc. Everything must be made fresh, every day. That means the staff comes in at zero-dark-thirty and works on a very precise schedule to produce that amazing variety of stuff. No one there has the time to make a one-off cake -not without the rest of the day's items suffering. Customers expect to be dazzled with choices. A bakery that doesn't put out all of that stuff goes under quickly.

She means you’re lying, Grerg.

Based on the pictures of your plating I'd say that pastry is not your forte.

I assume that "understated" in their appearance means you just throw icing sugar on it. It's OK. You're Italian. It's in your blood to do that.

Lemme tell you, I finally blocked THAT TROLL - the one with the horrible recipes, bad attitude and even worse haemorrhoid outbreaks - and DL is completely different experience now. Feels like Munchkinland after the death of the Wicked Witch of the East.

Can we have the recipe, op?

Agreed, R80. I cleared my block list recently and accidentally unblocked it. Took about 3 minutes of random browsing to realize my mistake. What a toxic troll.

[quote]Can we have the recipe, op?

Fine, but you don't really need a recipe. It's just a cup of flour, a cup of sugar and a cup of fruit cocktail with the syrup. Stir and bake in a hot oven until golden brown and bubbly. I serve it with ice cream to cut the sweetness.

Most every commercial bakery today uses prepared base mixes for their cakes. The mixes come in 50 gallon drums and there are a few different varieties. The bakeries take those base mixes and add things to come produce the different flavor cakes.

OP I made a gorgeous bundt cake and used a box cake as my base. Really easy. First, 4 eggs instead of 3. Melted butter instead of oil. Add 4 ounces of yogurt or sour cream. I used sour cream. Then use milk instead of water. bake according to directions. ( also put a teaspoon of baking powder in because the cake mix was a couple of months past it's expiration date. Now you can use any box cake mix, any flavor, and make it anyway you like not just for a bundt cake. But it was moist and fluffy and just perfect!

[quote] I finally blocked THAT TROLL - the one with the horrible recipes, bad attitude and even worse haemorrhoid outbreaks

Terrible recipes? Ha! My recipes are excellent. They've even helped me earn quite a comfortable living.

My attitude is fine. I think I exercise remarkable restraint given the not very nice things people have said to or about me out here.

Have a good day!

[quote] She means you’re lying, Grerg.

Well then, R78, she is mistaken.

[quote] Based on the pictures of your plating I'd say that pastry is not your forte.

My plating is very nice, actually. It needs to be when you are charging people a lot of money for your food.

[quote] I assume that "understated" in their appearance means you just throw icing sugar on it. It's OK. You're Italian. It's in your blood to do that.

Then you assume wrong.

How do restaurants work? Do you cook food there?

Most restaurants require you to provide your own recipes. Otherwise, they don’t know what to do.

Pay no mind to that slag Greg. That thing was clearly not raised right.

[quote] Perhaps someone like Dudu Outmezgine.

Interesting that you mention that, r18! I’ve never eaten Dudu. Have you eaten Dudu?

[quote] Then you assume wrong.

There’s something we assume right, though.

Pay no mind to that minger R91. That thing was clearly not raised right by his slag of a mother.

The only person keeping this thread alive is a troll and its socks. Even I'm bored with it.

I had a FB that did the overnight bake at Dunkin. As you probably expect, it waz prepacked bags of dough and icing.

But the sex was top notch. He was skinny, young and had a BBC. I would wait in the bathroom with nothing on except my Van's and smoking dope. When he got to a stopping point, he would come in and rail me in the handicap stall.

Good times.

Greg I either poorly wrote my post or you misinterpreted it entirely. Does it make more sense written this way? Because this is what I meant.

[quote] Greg, pay no mind to that slag. That thing was clearly not raised right.

R91/R97, Ah!

Well, thank you then.

Your edits change the meaning entirely!

I love the word, 'slag'.

R91/R97, if you want to see crazy, go here:

Greg I read the first couple of comments on that thread and you completely read the haters to filth and owned them. And written so eloquently too. You are lowkey becoming favorite signed poster on this site.

Thank you, R100.

I would derive no pleasure from engaging in a dialogue with myself. There's no fun in that.

Much appreciated!

R101

R92, sadly no, maybe on our next trip to the Middle East. His pastries look amazing and he's grown better with age. His boys being in the business has helped too.

Poor Gregory,

So transparent.

You know I'm going to take OP's question seriously. I always made assumptions about bakeries. We had the local bakery that had been around for years and the supermarket bakeries, etc. and I just assumed some bakers started at midnight and worked all night to give us fresh bread and cakes and pies. But then I realized that there are huge commercial bakeries that make stuff, some of it completely baked and some of it still raw but assembled and all the local baker had to do was bake it. Cookies? Frozen dough, just slice it. I believe the Artisanal and the ethnic bakers still do most things from scratch, but a lot of bakeries do not. Check it out. just Google "wholesale" or "commercial bakeries near me."

What do you mean, SouthernLib?

You must not think that I am the author of R100.

If so, you just can't stand that someone would say that to me, can you?