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Let’s be Fire Island

I’m 34 and pretending I’m a sorority girl.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 264July 19, 2024 6:14 PM

I'm a sand bar that New Yorkers have overhyped for years.

by Anonymousreply 1July 28, 2023 8:03 PM

Skirts!

by Anonymousreply 2July 28, 2023 8:11 PM

I’m the schlep out there.

by Anonymousreply 3July 28, 2023 8:14 PM

I'm young and handsome and having the time of my life before I settle down into upper middle class gay respectability!

by Anonymousreply 4July 28, 2023 8:16 PM

I'm the fire, I'm burning down the island!

by Anonymousreply 5July 28, 2023 8:17 PM

I'm the acute sense of mortality pervading everything.

by Anonymousreply 6July 28, 2023 8:17 PM

I’m the new guest on the island. Don’t worry, go ahead and bareback if you’re on PrEP, you can get rid of me with antibiotics. Just a simple, sequential two-step therapy with 1 week of doxycycline, followed by another week with an additional agent (either moxifloxacin or azithromycin). You need to avoid the sun too, for two weeks after stopping doxycycline. It’s simple, so easy to get rid of…

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by Anonymousreply 7July 28, 2023 8:20 PM

I’m the past tense of twink. I haven’t accepted it yet.

by Anonymousreply 8July 28, 2023 8:21 PM

[quote]I’m the past tense of twink. I haven’t accepted it yet.

Twunk?

by Anonymousreply 9July 28, 2023 8:22 PM

I'm the stray bottles of poppers and lube carelessly left at poolside.

by Anonymousreply 10July 28, 2023 8:23 PM

I’m the ketamine cooking in the oven.

by Anonymousreply 11July 28, 2023 8:25 PM

I'm the TONS of much older guys who make up the majority of homeowners in the Pines.

We are happy to not have been wiped out by AIDS, but it is really hard to compare our fraught 20s and 30 with the experience of the young guys around us.

by Anonymousreply 12July 28, 2023 8:25 PM

I’m the desperate hookup with a ‘6’ that finally, drunkenly happens at 4am, after I passed up all the ‘8s’ and a few ‘9s’ all day & night, as I was desperately searching for a ‘10’. I need the hottest guy on this island in my hole, I’ll pretend he’s the straight quarterback from my hometown and maybe, just maybe I’ll finally get past all that bullying. Now I’m a bigger cunt to other gay men, than the jocks in Bumfuck ever were to me. Funny how that works.

by Anonymousreply 13July 28, 2023 8:25 PM

R9 Twaint? As in “you ain’t a twink anymore! You’re a tw’ain’t…”

by Anonymousreply 14July 28, 2023 8:26 PM

I’m OD on G.

by Anonymousreply 15July 28, 2023 8:27 PM

I’m the chubby POC Yaaasss Kween who spent 5% of her yearly salary on this 7-day trip. I’ll act like I own a mansion on the Atlantic side and you’re all peons beneath me. I’m the biggest cunt on the island, at least this week.

by Anonymousreply 16July 28, 2023 8:29 PM

r8 The word you're looking for is "DataLounger"

by Anonymousreply 17July 28, 2023 8:30 PM

1Pink & 5Green are the only fuckable ones.

by Anonymousreply 18July 28, 2023 8:36 PM

I'm the third used condom from the left.

by Anonymousreply 19July 28, 2023 8:39 PM

I’m R4 and I’m here now, getting ready for tea.

by Anonymousreply 20July 28, 2023 8:44 PM

Is Orange-3 grabbing his cocklet or showing his ink?

by Anonymousreply 21July 28, 2023 8:47 PM

This is what we fought & died for?

by Anonymousreply 22July 28, 2023 8:48 PM

Is this what we fucked & died for?

by Anonymousreply 23July 28, 2023 8:49 PM

R9 Isn't the past tense "twank" with the past participle being "twunk"?

Apparently I'm the grammar police, but only when it comes to fake verbs.

Next up, "bear". Is it bear bear bear or do we like the "ed" ending better?

by Anonymousreply 24July 28, 2023 9:15 PM

I’m the concept of chosen family, I seem to be very popular with sort of person who can only afford to spend a week in a 1400 square foot beach cottage if it’s with six other thirtysomething homosexuals.

by Anonymousreply 25July 28, 2023 10:02 PM

I’m 54 and having my Best Barbie Summer

by Anonymousreply 26July 28, 2023 10:10 PM

[quote][R9] Isn't the past tense "twank" with the past participle being "twunk"?

Line judges raise their green cards.

Let it be so.

by Anonymousreply 27July 28, 2023 10:12 PM

I’m R26 ‘s pink booty shorts to match her freshly waxed and bleached hole.

by Anonymousreply 28July 28, 2023 10:17 PM

I’m the ass kombucha brewing in the slutty bb PrEP bottoms, that are unknowingly collecting every STD (except HIV, of course) like Pokémon cards.

by Anonymousreply 29July 28, 2023 10:19 PM

I'm the cabin that still smells like AIDS.

by Anonymousreply 30July 28, 2023 10:20 PM

I’m Tina Fey. I summer here to keep myself from cheating on my tiny husband, just like Neil Patrick Harris is in East Hampton to keep himself from cheating on his fat one. Love is love, nerds. Blurgh!

by Anonymousreply 31July 28, 2023 10:22 PM

What is a twink called that did not put in muscles but just got out of shape R9? Twonk?

by Anonymousreply 32July 28, 2023 10:22 PM

David Burtka, R32.

by Anonymousreply 33July 28, 2023 10:24 PM

I'm the internalized homophobia which causes many gay men to supress themselves, spend an inordinate amount of time in the gym, and/or take steroids to help "butch it up" just so they can wear a brightly colored skirt on Fire Island.

by Anonymousreply 34July 28, 2023 10:30 PM

I'm the one top for ever 99 bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 35July 28, 2023 10:43 PM

We're Erik and Nick, still workin' it and it's fucking hard, R34.

by Anonymousreply 36July 28, 2023 10:49 PM

[quote] I’m the chubby POC Yaaasss Kween who spent 5% of her yearly salary on this 7-day trip. I’ll act like I own a mansion on the Atlantic side and you’re all peons beneath me. I’m the biggest cunt on the island, at least this week.

While all the skinny, squinty suntan victim twinks call me "Gelatinous Jigglypuff."

by Anonymousreply 37July 28, 2023 10:54 PM

I’m the stolen chicken tender and the MARY! ass drama that all those over-the-top faggots ate up.

by Anonymousreply 38July 29, 2023 4:03 PM

I'm the sugar daddy. Auditions will be held at 10, 2, and 8.

by Anonymousreply 39July 29, 2023 4:17 PM

Yestertwink

by Anonymousreply 40July 29, 2023 4:20 PM

I took mushrooms once on Fire Island and was visited by The Twink of Pines Party’s Past.

by Anonymousreply 41July 29, 2023 4:23 PM

R40: I LOVE that!

by Anonymousreply 42July 29, 2023 4:31 PM

I’m the Eldergay feeding drugs and booze to twinks. It’s never acknowledged or thought but subconsciously he knows, “ugggh, you boys keep me young!”

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 43July 29, 2023 4:53 PM

Oh God how I detest gay events where everyone is mandated to dress the same way in goofy clothes. Just kill me. Any way you want.

by Anonymousreply 44July 29, 2023 4:58 PM

[quote]Isn't the past tense "twank" with the past participle being "twunk"?

I prefer "'Twas."

by Anonymousreply 45July 29, 2023 5:10 PM

I'm Provincetown. I'm located in the other direction, fools.

by Anonymousreply 46July 29, 2023 5:17 PM

Yesteryou

Yesterme

Yestertwink

by Anonymousreply 47July 29, 2023 5:26 PM

I’m the cunts with pursed lips, side eyes and flitting wrists.

by Anonymousreply 48July 29, 2023 5:28 PM

[quote]What is a twink called that did not put in muscles but just got out of shape

The label just falls off like Patsy's makeshift penis.

by Anonymousreply 49July 29, 2023 6:07 PM

I am the alienation you feel when you are just visiting, know nobody there, and are not young and cute enough to be spontaneously invited to a drug-fuelled orgy.

by Anonymousreply 50July 29, 2023 6:23 PM

I'm the panic attack and moral dilemma sparked by looking up the value of the vintage looking Patek Philippe Nautilus found in the sand of the Meat Rack at 6 am.

by Anonymousreply 51July 29, 2023 6:27 PM

I’m the guy with so many tattoos you almost don’t notice he’s 56.

by Anonymousreply 52July 29, 2023 6:28 PM

I'm the perfectly groomed 22-year old telling anyone over 25 that they are too old and ugly to be here.

by Anonymousreply 53July 29, 2023 6:46 PM

I am the middle aged gay on all fours in the Meat Rack. Passerby think that I need to get fucked RIGHT NOW, but I am really just searching for my Patek Philippe Nautilus.

by Anonymousreply 54July 29, 2023 6:52 PM

I’m the rich (not wealthy) aging chickenhawk in his 50s. I’m only interested in barely legally twinks, if you’re 30+ I’m going to give you a death stare.

by Anonymousreply 55July 29, 2023 6:54 PM

Ha, r51, as if anyone on Fire Island has ever experienced a moral dilemma

by Anonymousreply 56July 29, 2023 7:00 PM

I'm the 16 year old with a fake ID who has heard that there are parties and stuff.

by Anonymousreply 57July 29, 2023 7:02 PM

I'm the ferry crew, just wanting to be left alone and hear no more "come aboard" jokes

by Anonymousreply 58July 29, 2023 7:04 PM

People keep talking about twinks, but the crowd at Fire Island isn't super young in general, you don't see a lot of 22 year old twinks.

I'd say the majority are mid twenties to mid thirties.

by Anonymousreply 59July 29, 2023 7:07 PM

“I wondered growing up why the hometown guys wouldn’t be nice to me, just because I had different tastes, like they didn’t like me because I wouldn’t play football or listen to rock music. I didn’t want to assimilate. I’m personally so accepting of others. I’m a Progressive.”

Same Person: “If you show up at ‘OUR HOUSE’ and you’re not in booty shorts, ready to do coke & G, and say ‘Yaaassss’ as we play PADAM for the 17th time … then get the fuck out!!! BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! No T. Swift fans allowed!!! Yaaassssss!!!”

by Anonymousreply 60July 29, 2023 7:10 PM

I’m the fisting & felching.

by Anonymousreply 61July 29, 2023 7:10 PM

I’m microscopic fecal matter and e.Coli

by Anonymousreply 62July 29, 2023 7:11 PM

I'm the coke, ketamine, GHB and molly that everyone is on. There are enough drugs here to open a pharmacy.

by Anonymousreply 63July 29, 2023 7:21 PM

I'm the backroom at the underwear party. I'm covered in a nacreous layer of permacum and will probably be ground zero of the next pandemic.

by Anonymousreply 64July 29, 2023 7:30 PM

I’m AIDS 2.0, brewing in a PrEP bottom’s multi-load kombucha ass.

by Anonymousreply 65July 29, 2023 7:32 PM

I'm the repressed teen watching from Point O'Woods and wishing someone would come take my cherry.

by Anonymousreply 66July 29, 2023 7:33 PM

I’m the blown out flip flops and fart boxes.

by Anonymousreply 67July 29, 2023 7:46 PM

I'm the free-flowing santorum.

by Anonymousreply 68July 29, 2023 8:13 PM

I'm the guy who goes to Fire Island for the weekend, to get away from people who berate and complain about gays who go to Fire Island, (or the Russian River, for that matter) ,for weekend.

by Anonymousreply 69July 29, 2023 8:22 PM

"125,000 dollahs. 125,000 dollahs!? It's not even a Rolex!"

by Anonymousreply 70July 29, 2023 8:56 PM

I love gays in their natural whoring, predatory state. It's fun people watching!

by Anonymousreply 71July 29, 2023 10:18 PM

I'm Bryan Singer, Fire Island mainstay and also den father of Webelos Troop #69!

by Anonymousreply 72July 29, 2023 10:33 PM

R72, did you see the most guys are mid 20s to mid 30s post? Just didn't want to you leave unarrested.

by Anonymousreply 73July 29, 2023 10:35 PM

It was a joke, R73. You already put more thought into it than I did.

by Anonymousreply 74July 29, 2023 10:37 PM

That was a joke too, R74. And I agree.

by Anonymousreply 75July 29, 2023 10:38 PM

I’m the naive twink who gives his pert, only mildly-used hole up to a wrinkled chickenhawk, who owns the house he’s staying at, thinking I’m about to become a sugar baby or at the very least have a free share every summer. Unfortunately, I’m one in a long line of twinks who roll the dice every summer and come out empty handed.

by Anonymousreply 76July 29, 2023 11:11 PM

I’m the folding fans a-clackin’ and yasss kaweens a-yassin’.

by Anonymousreply 77July 29, 2023 11:15 PM

I'm the flaming young queen, pretty good looking, who stumbles over his very down low and super hot older cousin getting DP'd in the Meat Rack.

by Anonymousreply 78July 29, 2023 11:20 PM

R77 there is a holiday song in their somewhere “12 Days of Fire Island”

On the first day on Fire Island

My true love gave to me

An anal fissure in my asshole

On the second day on Fire Island

My true love gave to me

Two Yaaasss Kweens and

An anal fissure in my asshole

On the third day on Fire Island

My true love gave to me

Three Circuit Fans

Two Yaaasss Kweens and

An anal fissure in my asshole

by Anonymousreply 79July 29, 2023 11:23 PM

“ Unfortunately, I’m one in a long line of twinks who roll the dice every summer and come out empty handed.”

Oh you’ll come out of there with something. Just check with your doctor in 5 years.

by Anonymousreply 80July 29, 2023 11:30 PM

R80 uhhh we’re all on PrEP. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 81July 29, 2023 11:31 PM

I'm the Sturm und Drang when Peter's scorchingly hot 23yo summer companion, Mansour, all the way from Morocco, puts on host Andrew's mother's vintage raw silk Emilio Pucci kaftan for cocktail hour, resulting in 20 minutes of horny compliments before he stumbles into the pool.

by Anonymousreply 82July 29, 2023 11:33 PM

R82 “Oh fuck you, Peter! There’s no fixing it. It’s silk! It’s Pucci! It’s vintage! It’s ruined!” - Andrew

by Anonymousreply 83July 29, 2023 11:37 PM

I'm the farm-raised recent college grad from flyoverstan, new in New York since July, who immediately gets and invite to Fire Island and steps off the ferry pulling his parents old American Tourister luggage. I'm 6'2 190lbs of corn fed radiant muscle perfection, completely unsullied.

by Anonymousreply 84July 29, 2023 11:40 PM

R84 I’m all the femme bottoms who are salivating to get him in their hole and then once he cums in them and they prove he’s gay, they’ll want to take him down to the lowest common denominator and prove he’s big Nancy Mo too. Let the assimilation process begin, the cornfed stud will be preening fairy by the time they’re done.

“One of us! One of us! One of us!”

by Anonymousreply 85July 29, 2023 11:45 PM

"I'm 6'2 190lbs of corn fed radiant muscle perfection, completely unsullied".

How would you describe him on day 5?

by Anonymousreply 86July 29, 2023 11:53 PM

I'm two Summer Associates at Davis Polk & Wardwell, one from Harvard Law, the other improbably from Cardoza at Yeshiva, who have avoided each other for 4 weeks of hyper social firm activities, and barely acknowledge one another when they find themselves at the same dinner party on Fire Island. The next day, the Harvard golden boy sees the Cardoza nerd on the beach in his unexpected TOF Paris speedo, revealing his tall, wiry, hairy, horse-hung perfection. They're in love by August 1.

by Anonymousreply 87July 29, 2023 11:54 PM

NIFTY.

by Anonymousreply 88July 30, 2023 12:01 AM

I’m Datalounge traffic slowed to a halt, because all the NY Kweens are on Fire Island with no service and spotty WiFi.

by Anonymousreply 89July 30, 2023 12:09 AM

[quote]I'm the farm-raised recent college grad from flyoverstan, new in New York since July, who immediately gets and invite to Fire Island and steps off the ferry pulling his parents old American Tourister luggage. I'm 6'2 190lbs of corn fed radiant muscle perfection, completely unsullied.

Hopefully Joel left his neighbor and Mitzi at home.

by Anonymousreply 90July 30, 2023 12:14 AM

I'm the gasps and anxious scrambling when Carter announces at his annual weekend birthday blowout, this one on his 45th, that his heart and 8" patrician cock are no longer into it, he's selling the house and spending his future summers at his grandmother's estate in Bar Harbor, and nobody will be invited.

by Anonymousreply 91July 30, 2023 12:14 AM

I’m the POC guys complaining and over-exaggerating about how all the white guys only want to fuck other white guys, I’m simultaneously ignoring any ethnic guys.

by Anonymousreply 92July 30, 2023 12:21 AM

I'm the mystery and excitement about who bought the big place on the beach off Fisherman's Path. Turns out to be a nelly, soft, twenty-something Chinese American math wiz who made a zillion dollars during the Covid epidemic but nobody is sure how.

by Anonymousreply 93July 30, 2023 12:30 AM

I'm the fresh remains of the sacrificial Santería ceremony found on the rocks on the bay side of the Sunken Forest. Three days later another burnt out ceremony site is discovered right on Great South Beach, east of The Pines. Something evil is afoot. Or maybe a fat hysterical middle-aged queen is going the extra mile to GET FUCKED RIGHT NOW.

by Anonymousreply 94July 30, 2023 12:40 AM

I’m in my 40s but also I am puppy.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 95July 30, 2023 12:50 AM

We're tired, gay clichés.

by Anonymousreply 96July 30, 2023 12:56 AM

I'm the seven Speedos that were packed. Or is it we're?

by Anonymousreply 97July 30, 2023 1:01 AM

I’m the inflatable ride-on rainbow unicorn pool float.

by Anonymousreply 98July 30, 2023 1:08 AM

We're the confused straight couple with a 3yo and 5yo in tow who can't understand why there are so many homos around.

by Anonymousreply 99July 30, 2023 1:32 AM

Mini-kilts R2! And most gay males who wear them to parties just shouldn't.

by Anonymousreply 100July 30, 2023 1:37 AM

It’s whatever you want to make it- it’s beautiful- it’s full of men- what’s not to like if you’re comfortable in your own skin?

by Anonymousreply 101July 30, 2023 1:38 AM

Not really r101. Better just to mock them.

by Anonymousreply 102July 30, 2023 1:41 AM

I'm the 9-foot great white shark that's just off the shore. You can follow me on the Ocearch Shark Tracker. Who knows when I'll fancy a meaty little snack.

by Anonymousreply 103July 30, 2023 1:49 AM

I’m the frau friend who comments ”omg SLAYYYYYY” and “🔥🔥🔥🔥” on all the thirsty fire island Speedo pics posted on Instagram. After commenting, I promptly screenshot the photo and text it to other fraus with a message that reads “omg remember Nicholas??? look at him, can you believe he posted this on insta???? The speedo! 😂😂😂 So gay!!!”

by Anonymousreply 104July 30, 2023 2:01 AM

I’m all the gays lip syncing to the lip syncing scene from “Glamorous”.

by Anonymousreply 105July 30, 2023 2:11 AM

I'm the twinks saying 'padam' to each other as they mince along the boardwalks, as if it increases their gay cred.

by Anonymousreply 106July 30, 2023 2:24 AM

R104 fuck me then marry me

by Anonymousreply 107July 30, 2023 2:48 AM

R104 I’m the responses: “OMFG!!! 🤣😬 Remember I always said he was such a faggot!!!💅🏼💃”

by Anonymousreply 108July 30, 2023 3:00 AM

EXHAUSTING

by Anonymousreply 109July 30, 2023 3:01 AM

R87, wonderful, please check back on September 8 and let us know how it unfolded.

by Anonymousreply 110July 30, 2023 11:15 AM

I'm Rehoboth Beach in the DMV. I'm an alternative to Fire Island that skews little older in the age demographic. Dr Jill Biden is a frequent visitor here!

by Anonymousreply 111July 30, 2023 12:02 PM

gross

by Anonymousreply 112July 30, 2023 1:43 PM

R111 how is Rehoboth? I just moved to Philly is ist with the 2h drive. ABN hotel recommendations?

by Anonymousreply 113July 30, 2023 7:13 PM

Get out of my city.

by Anonymousreply 114July 30, 2023 7:21 PM

I'm the skinny homely guy with my clearly huge cock tucked into my speedo, surprised at how many people want to talk to me.

by Anonymousreply 115August 1, 2023 3:50 AM

I’m the guys wearing Speedos that shouldn’t be wearing Speedos.

by Anonymousreply 116August 1, 2023 4:13 PM

I’m Johnathan, Nicholas and Christopher. Please don’t shorten our names.

by Anonymousreply 117August 1, 2023 4:14 PM

Honest question, is everybody at Fire Island at least... lean? I recognize that good looking is subjective, but are they all of a body that can wear Speedos or are their actual what DL would call fatties? I'm curious about Fire Island. I'll never go there, but it's legendary.

by Anonymousreply 118August 1, 2023 4:15 PM

there. Oh, Dear.

by Anonymousreply 119August 1, 2023 4:15 PM

R118 the fatties don’t get posted on socials

by Anonymousreply 120August 1, 2023 4:16 PM

The fatties might get posted, but none of us follow them...

by Anonymousreply 121August 1, 2023 4:17 PM

In the last 10 years it’s been overrun by ethnic rough trade and Yaaassss Kween types who are there to live in some “trust fund fag” fantasy for their instagram. If you’re looking for any intelligent conversation, this is not the place.

by Anonymousreply 122August 1, 2023 4:18 PM

Fire Island is done. Living on yester-year fumes. Strictly for the low-functioning FOMO crowd.

by Anonymousreply 123August 1, 2023 5:01 PM

R118 no. plenty of all body types. maybe not obese however. All you need to go out there, if you are not GORGEOUS, is cash.

by Anonymousreply 124August 1, 2023 5:30 PM

Yeah you can go for cash but you’ll be rejected if you’re fat or ugly, of course you’ll share a few “YAAAASSS KWEENS” with the other radioactive basic gays.

by Anonymousreply 125August 1, 2023 5:40 PM

R124, thx. No desire to go at all. Sounds like total bullshit to me, like a large field of sheep. But it's iconic, so am interested in it.

by Anonymousreply 126August 1, 2023 5:41 PM

The important thing to remember about Fire Island Pines is there is basically nothing there. This is not like going to Provincetown which is actually a destination with lots of shops, restaurants, and bar options.

A lot of the Pines is knowing the right people and going to the right house parties. If you aren't in a clique of the right NY gays you will be left out of that experience.

There is the Canteen for food, the Pines Pantry overpriced general store. And the Blue whale that host the Tea parties every day. That's honestly pretty much it.

A lot of Fire Island is what you make out of it, so it's important to go with a group of friends if you aren't the type of person who knows the insta gays of Hells Kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 127August 1, 2023 6:52 PM

That's exactly what makes the Pines unique r99, there are no straight people there. It's impossible for a straight person to accidently end up in the Pines, and again there is nothing there. You will seriously go the entire time without ever seeing a straight person, which is why some guys love it.

by Anonymousreply 128August 1, 2023 6:54 PM

so basically a gay ghetto on a sandbar; ooohhh let me spill out my cash on that!

by Anonymousreply 129August 1, 2023 7:00 PM

its naturally beautiful but hardly unique in that beauty. There are barrier islands all the way down the eastern coast and Gulf of Mexico.

by Anonymousreply 130August 1, 2023 7:04 PM

SHARKS!!!

by Anonymousreply 131August 1, 2023 7:06 PM

The Pines were great for me during the early 90s. I was young and fit and good-looking. And single. By the time I met my current partner in 97, it was time to move over to Cherry Grove with the older homos and lots of lesbians. The Pines was unforgiving. Cherry Grove is the land time forgot. Nobody gives a shit.

by Anonymousreply 132August 1, 2023 7:17 PM

I’m the FagFraus, we go along with every trend. Who wants to wear Barbie tshirts?

by Anonymousreply 133August 1, 2023 7:20 PM

R117: “ I’m Johnathan, Nicholas and Christopher. Please don’t shorten our names.”

Asshole

by Anonymousreply 134August 1, 2023 11:05 PM
by Anonymousreply 135August 1, 2023 11:05 PM

Where are all the women?

by Anonymousreply 136August 2, 2023 11:30 PM

R136 Never happens.

by Anonymousreply 137August 2, 2023 11:37 PM

I'm the painful realization that no one can host.

by Anonymousreply 138August 2, 2023 11:42 PM

I’m the Gatsbys, we’re all fakes. Only .05% of people you see here actually own a place.

by Anonymousreply 139August 2, 2023 11:44 PM

I’m the sand in your brown eye after some ill advised frolicking on the beach.

by Anonymousreply 140August 3, 2023 12:34 AM

I'm the sad guy who has found out that there really is such a thing as a cock that's too big.

by Anonymousreply 141August 4, 2023 12:24 AM

I am tick.

by Anonymousreply 142August 5, 2023 11:10 PM

R142 I’m Lyme Disease

by Anonymousreply 143August 5, 2023 11:14 PM

There was a great "Let's Be" thread a couple years back about a guy who arranged all the Fire Island schedules and accommodations but got his feelings hurt because no one appreciated it and he wasn't invited to any parties. Anyone know how to find it? I hope it's not one of the deleted classics.

by Anonymousreply 144August 5, 2023 11:20 PM

R144 our dumb cunt m0d murieI ruined it by redtagging it

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 145August 5, 2023 11:33 PM

I’m the YAAASSSS KWEEN of it all now. What a ridiculous place this has become.

by Anonymousreply 146August 5, 2023 11:35 PM

I'm the clever guy who set up a stall for antibiotics at the right time.

by Anonymousreply 147August 6, 2023 1:39 AM

R144, I think it was a let’s be Palm Springs thread that featured a fiftysomething version of that martyred cargo-short wearing social convener. If memory serves correctly, it cut a bit too close to the bone around these parts

by Anonymousreply 148August 6, 2023 1:50 AM

I thought that whole place was swept away by Hurricane Sandy more than a decade ago.

by Anonymousreply 149August 6, 2023 2:13 AM

I see a dude hiding behind dark glasses on the far right.

He's got a badly receding hairline and a white-as-bleached whale bone carcass that is also pudgy.

Could he be elon going incognito?

by Anonymousreply 150August 6, 2023 2:23 AM

What about access to medical services like ambulances, EMTs and paramedics. doctors and nurses?

Seriously, what happens to all the people overdosing or having medical emergencies?

Too bad, have to wait for the next ferry st 7 am back to Long Island near whatever hospital there?? No place to land an emergency helicopter nearby, right?

That's frightening to think about.

by Anonymousreply 151August 6, 2023 7:40 AM

R151 there is a giant beach, duh. No houses are far from the beach. It's a thin barrier island.

by Anonymousreply 152August 6, 2023 7:44 AM

It’s not for everyone!

by Anonymousreply 153August 6, 2023 8:04 AM

I have to clean the floors at the Ice Palace after the underwear party. AMA.

by Anonymousreply 154August 7, 2023 10:19 AM

R148, it was a Let’s be a Palm Springs vacation thread indeed, and I don’t remember laughing so much reading the DL!

by Anonymousreply 155August 7, 2023 10:49 AM

Mike!!!!

by Anonymousreply 156August 7, 2023 11:52 AM

Here it is

I assume the only reason Mike hasn't become a DL legend is because it's a bit too close to the bone for most DLers

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 157August 7, 2023 12:03 PM

I’m the Sunday afternoon tea dance at the Ice Palace

by Anonymousreply 158August 7, 2023 1:50 PM

Also from the Palm Springs thread is this gem - the 58 page handbook some queen made for his gaggle's visit to Provincetown. Seems the thread about it was deleted, which is a shame as I'm sure it was hilarious

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 159August 7, 2023 8:41 PM

How many hours did that queen spend working on that book! Amazing!

by Anonymousreply 160August 7, 2023 8:45 PM

There is no hospital on the entire island r151. There is a couple small urgent care centers on the island that is open for limited operations during the summer.

In an emergency Long Island cops would use their boats to transport you to a hospital on Long Island.

by Anonymousreply 161August 7, 2023 8:59 PM

I’m showing those high school bullies! Look at me in my skirt!

by Anonymousreply 162August 7, 2023 9:40 PM

R150 If he's rich, someone will fuck him.

by Anonymousreply 163August 8, 2023 3:19 AM

I’m STDs

by Anonymousreply 164August 12, 2023 2:50 PM

[quote] R124, thx. No desire to go at all. Sounds like total bullshit to me, like a large field of sheep. But it's iconic, so am interested in it.

Not sure why you would be turned off by listening to what some catty queens say on DataLounge. I don't understand why you wouldn't be willing to try it at least once and find out for yourself. I've been multiple times and I think Fire Island is a lot of fun. Then again I have no interest in being invited to the coolest parties. I can find plenty of other things to do. A stay of two or three days is long enough. After that, it does get a bit boring.

I wouldn't want to be friends with the gay men on this thread who act like they're above it all.

by Anonymousreply 165August 12, 2023 3:42 PM

[quote]I’m Tina Fey. I summer here to keep myself from cheating on my tiny husband, just like Neil Patrick Harris is in East Hampton to keep himself from cheating on his fat one. Love is love, nerds. Blurgh!

Tina Fey has a home in Fair Harbor in the western (ie. straight) part of Fire Island. She doesn't live in Cherry Grove or The Pines, the only gay communities on Fire Island.

by Anonymousreply 166August 12, 2023 3:47 PM

[quote] Too bad, have to wait for the next ferry st 7 am back to Long Island near whatever hospital there?? No place to land an emergency helicopter nearby, right? That's frightening to think about.

Trust me if you have a serious medical emergency on Fire Island you'd get taken back to the main land to a hospital without having to wait for the next ferry... There is a place to land helicopters and emergency ferry services that can be called. That's insane that you think all those rich old men would sit on the ferry pier waiting till morning if they were having an issue.

by Anonymousreply 167August 12, 2023 3:53 PM

[quote] Honest question, is everybody at Fire Island at least... lean? I recognize that good looking is subjective, but are they all of a body that can wear Speedos or are their actual what DL would call fatties? I'm curious about Fire Island. I'll never go there, but it's legendary.

No, there are a lot of real bodies. I've never been lean nor worn a speedo and I go all the time and get a lot of ass. A lot of those lean guys like a dad bod.

by Anonymousreply 168August 12, 2023 3:56 PM

I'm Jerry Mitchell and my hubby is available for DP parties. I just like to watch.

by Anonymousreply 169August 12, 2023 6:02 PM

I’m the US Army Corps of Engineers pumping billions of dollars of sand onto a barrier island which is naturally subject to shoreline shifting.

by Anonymousreply 170August 12, 2023 7:12 PM

R170 They should be pumping semen into the brainless visitors instead.

by Anonymousreply 171August 13, 2023 9:55 PM

Upon their triumphant return to Manhattan, I’m the group pic, everyone in all pink, of all the girlies at the AMC to see Barbie.

by Anonymousreply 172August 20, 2023 7:23 PM

I'm one of the three real 10" cocks in the Pines right now.

by Anonymousreply 173August 20, 2023 9:36 PM

R173 three? Try 1 or two.

by Anonymousreply 174August 20, 2023 9:55 PM

Pukes 🤢

by Anonymousreply 175August 20, 2023 9:57 PM

I’m Adam Moussa!

by Anonymousreply 176August 21, 2023 12:15 AM

Can we make fun of the Boys of Fire Island Facebook group

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 177August 21, 2023 12:18 AM

Is the a progression in mood on Fire Island? Does it get sleazier and druggier as the Summer draws to an end? Or does it get more reflective and wistful?

by Anonymousreply 178August 21, 2023 9:47 AM

It gets more prolapsed.

by Anonymousreply 179August 21, 2023 3:14 PM

The Palm Springs thread was one the funniest “modern” DL threads. Poor Mike.

by Anonymousreply 180August 21, 2023 3:31 PM

Anyone out there for the last weekend?

by Anonymousreply 181September 2, 2023 5:53 PM

My ho friends are. But naturally I haven't heard anything from them. You can imagine, though, and you'd probably be right.

by Anonymousreply 182September 2, 2023 5:59 PM

R182 are they PrEP’d and DoxyPEP’ing so they can take unlimited loads? Hopefully the DoxyPEP works so they don’t have anal slurry after their adventures.

by Anonymousreply 183September 2, 2023 6:07 PM

Is is safe to binge drink on Doxycycline?

by Anonymousreply 184September 2, 2023 6:08 PM

I'm the tasteful neutral colors and solids. I don't exist.

by Anonymousreply 185September 2, 2023 6:26 PM

R185 the blacks do love a bold beige speedo every now and then since it pops against their skin

by Anonymousreply 186September 2, 2023 6:29 PM

R183, in fact they are.

by Anonymousreply 187September 2, 2023 6:44 PM

R187 do they take Doxy everyday while drinking or just get railed for 72 hours then Doxy and dry out?

by Anonymousreply 188September 2, 2023 6:46 PM

I have no idea. I think on an as needed basis. They claim they only ho when they travel. It... could be possible.

by Anonymousreply 189September 2, 2023 6:48 PM

R189 LOL sure. They’re probably in Manhattan (we shall assume?) and possibly Brooklyn collecting Gonorrhea and Chlamydia like Pokémon cards during the week. If you fuck or get head from 5 gay guys in NYC the question is not if you get an STD, it’s which one? But maybe DoxyPEP has changed all that for the well-insured. They sound like the “kombucha bottoms” referred to up-thread.

by Anonymousreply 190September 2, 2023 6:54 PM

I’m fentanyl. Did you bring test strips?

by Anonymousreply 191September 2, 2023 7:01 PM

Are their subcategories of kombucha bottom, like kombucha power bottom and kombucha shopbottom?

by Anonymousreply 192September 2, 2023 7:24 PM

What happens to these shopbottoms and wannabes when they get to be old. Do they still drag their asses around HK and FI? I can't imagine anything more depressing as a 40+ posting instagram pics all the time. NYC gay life is a such a facade. It was fun for a few years in my mid twenties but it seemed super trashy. Then again I am a snob.

by Anonymousreply 193September 2, 2023 7:35 PM

I'm all the hissing.

by Anonymousreply 194September 2, 2023 7:37 PM

r193 protests too much

by Anonymousreply 195September 2, 2023 7:46 PM

R193, yes, to be honest.

by Anonymousreply 196September 2, 2023 8:05 PM

R103 it is fun for maybe 3 years until you realize all the “cool”people are drunk and junkies with major cunt attitudes and they want to take their anger from being rejected in HS by jocks and cool girls out on other gays by creating even more vicious cliques and demanding assimilation or you get rejection from their Yaaasss Kween society.

by Anonymousreply 197September 2, 2023 8:18 PM

R197 was in response to R193

by Anonymousreply 198September 2, 2023 8:19 PM

Are the boys having discharge symptoms yet?

by Anonymousreply 199September 5, 2023 1:15 AM

That picture at OP is sad and ridiculous.

We fought for this?

by Anonymousreply 200October 25, 2023 2:55 AM

I’m the straights, we’re waiting for the right time to completely come in and gentrify the Grove & Pines… a conversion, if you will. Thanks for fixing it up homos, you can leave now!

by Anonymousreply 201October 25, 2023 3:00 AM

Really, R201? The Pines seem pretty expensive to me. Super rich straights have the Hamptons and Greenwich CT.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 202October 25, 2023 3:07 AM

R202 they’ll still do it, just watch. There are more of them.

by Anonymousreply 203October 25, 2023 3:09 AM

You're probably right, R203. Sad.

by Anonymousreply 204October 25, 2023 3:12 AM

Did you cuntz book your shares? Refill your doxyPEP! 🏖️💊🍸💉🧜‍♂️

by Anonymousreply 205May 27, 2024 11:40 AM

I'm the sand in your ass crack that is still there one year later.

by Anonymousreply 206May 27, 2024 11:48 AM

I'm the "no fatties allowed - unless you're rich" sign.

by Anonymousreply 207May 27, 2024 11:51 AM

I’m the rich chickenhawks brewing an Epstein level scandal. Shhhhhh

by Anonymousreply 208May 27, 2024 11:52 AM

I look like a complete grinning moron in this picture but I don’t care because I’ve been working out.

by Anonymousreply 209May 27, 2024 11:56 AM

I'm the old fatty renting out my beach house and recording the ongoing orgy.

by Anonymousreply 210May 27, 2024 11:58 AM

R122- I guess the DEI industry has caused this.

by Anonymousreply 211May 27, 2024 1:06 PM

Sara Ramirez is so gross.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 212May 27, 2024 1:13 PM

I’m the mandatory nail polish and Speedo.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 213May 27, 2024 1:15 PM

Oh and the new squiggly tattoos

by Anonymousreply 214May 27, 2024 1:15 PM

Frightening.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 215May 27, 2024 1:18 PM

I’m the THEY/THEM pronouns. I don’t ever enforce their usage, but I keep that card up my sleeve in case I don’t like you.

by Anonymousreply 216May 27, 2024 1:20 PM

No… actually not.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 217May 27, 2024 1:23 PM

I’m bucket hats.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 218May 27, 2024 1:25 PM

R215 is there anything sadder than some average femme kween who thinks she’s primetime Cindy Crawford?

by Anonymousreply 219May 27, 2024 1:37 PM

I'm the group of guys standing in line waiting to fist Steve Grand.

by Anonymousreply 220May 27, 2024 1:46 PM

Somebody's gonna get fucked - and I hope it's me!

by Anonymousreply 221May 27, 2024 2:00 PM

I'm over 45 years old and still starving myself and working out like a demon ALL year so I can still post my "me in the Pines in a Speedo" pic for the twentieth year in a row! I look good, right?

by Anonymousreply 222May 28, 2024 2:46 AM

R220 His singing career is going to start up big anytime now!

by Anonymousreply 223May 28, 2024 2:57 AM

I'm the gay Manhattanite who has never been there.

by Anonymousreply 224May 28, 2024 3:05 AM

I’m the person with a brain cell feeling left out and hopeless that I’m not so easily swooned.

by Anonymousreply 225May 28, 2024 3:23 AM

I'm the fancy gays who haven't been there since the 90s. We all go to Europe for the summer now. The Pines might as well be the Rockaways to us.

by Anonymousreply 226May 28, 2024 3:38 AM

I'm the dookie on a used condom thrown on the grass near the beach.

by Anonymousreply 227May 28, 2024 3:49 AM

R227 Well, isn’t that sexy.

by Anonymousreply 228May 28, 2024 3:53 AM

I’m the Fire Island National Seashore (FINS) rangers ready to issue tickets to homos fucking. Our goal is to eventually shutdown the meat rack fucking and ruin this section of the island and push out the gays so straights can gentrify?

by Anonymousreply 229May 28, 2024 3:56 AM

I’m trapping myself into a circular mentality of striving to hook up with hotter and hotter guys, taking more drugs, drinking to escape, social climbing, but getting nowhere. One day I’ll wake up old and wrinkled and wonder what it was all for…

by Anonymousreply 230May 28, 2024 4:18 AM

I'm the strut and puffed up chest of every newbie walking along the boardwalk, finally feeling "Look ay me! I've ARRIVED!" on their first day in the Pines.

by Anonymousreply 231May 28, 2024 4:44 AM

*at

I am the worst proofreader!

by Anonymousreply 232May 28, 2024 4:45 AM

I'm the one who doesn't give a fuck about this shit. I'm at Misquamicut

by Anonymousreply 233May 28, 2024 4:51 AM

I'm the gloriously fresh and nubile virgin twunk living in Point O'Woods and hoping this will be the year that I get defiled by horny fratboys.

by Anonymousreply 234May 28, 2024 5:04 AM

R234 *straight horny fratboys

They’re going to invade FIP one day and get all the buttholes they want, I just know it!!!

by Anonymousreply 235May 28, 2024 11:25 AM

R235 Everyone knows frats are just an excuse for straight guys to fuck guys.

by Anonymousreply 236May 29, 2024 6:48 AM

I'm the one in purple, 6th from left, puffed up and pushing my chest forward like a proud.purple robin...oh wait, that's my unfortunate body shape. I call it "fireplug" but no one wants to fuck me.

by Anonymousreply 237May 29, 2024 8:58 AM

^ you're a pocket gay I see.

by Anonymousreply 238May 29, 2024 9:06 AM

R237 you must be kidding. All the woke ny whites definitely fetishize POCs. It’s a mix of fetishized attraction and mental masturbation of feeling like “see I’m one of the good whites, I’m not like those racist ones I grew up with, see I’m better than them!”

by Anonymousreply 239May 29, 2024 2:19 PM

R239 Yes, they try so very hard, when the POC almost certainly want them to just STFU about it. It isn't the job of POC to make whites with guilt feel better, or feed the egos of white virtue signalers.

It isn't generous, it's selfish.

by Anonymousreply 240May 29, 2024 9:35 PM

R240 I’ve seen this countless numbers of times whether it’s at bars or parties etc And you’ll have the white woke gays who keep trying to take it to the topic of inclusivity and all these other keywords, And they’re like a dog with a bone they just can’t let it go. It’s like they’re OCD and they have some obsession With making sure that everyone knows that they are woke and not racist. Black and POC people are just looking at them like “OK cool. But I just want to get buzzed and have fun.”

by Anonymousreply 241May 29, 2024 9:41 PM

Right, any white person who finds a non-white person attractive is obviously fetishizing them and virtue-signaling. There's NO WAY anyone would find a POC attractive without having some kind of gross agenda because they're all so fucking ugly!

I'm so glad we have disgusting racist incels like r239 and r240 to explain the world to us.

by Anonymousreply 242May 29, 2024 11:51 PM

R242 You're the one saying that. I'd suggest growing up but that ship has clearly sailed.

by Anonymousreply 243May 29, 2024 11:56 PM

R242 that’s your interpretation

by Anonymousreply 244May 29, 2024 11:58 PM

That's what you said, jizzrag

by Anonymousreply 245May 29, 2024 11:59 PM

I’m laying on my sofa now and just hate the faggotry in skirts. Fuck fun, boys and Taylor. Now be a dear and make Mamma another Hi-Ball. Signed, A Bitter Faggot

by Anonymousreply 246May 30, 2024 12:40 AM

r242 It's as if they can't hear the things they say, isn't it? And then of course once called out they try to pretend that's not what they said at all.

by Anonymousreply 247May 30, 2024 12:50 AM

I'll be the joy some young gay man feels his first summer there. I will never be forgotten or replicated.

by Anonymousreply 248May 30, 2024 12:51 AM

I’m Anthony Malone.

by Anonymousreply 249May 30, 2024 1:52 AM

Nobody wants a black bottom

by Anonymousreply 250May 30, 2024 3:09 AM

I do!

by Anonymousreply 251May 30, 2024 3:34 AM

Woke White Gays:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 252May 30, 2024 12:42 PM

R242 I’m talking about the guys who ONLY find POC attractive.

It’s hilarious how that’s fine, or a black guy only into black guys, but god forbid a white guy is only into white guys.

by Anonymousreply 253May 30, 2024 12:44 PM

[quote]I’m talking about the guys who ONLY find POC attractive.

Do you actually think that makes your original statement any better?

by Anonymousreply 254May 30, 2024 12:46 PM

I don’t like the phrase- People of Color

Can one now say -Colored People?

Lumping ALL people who aren’t white into that category is stupid when there are extreme variations in people who aren’t white.

by Anonymousreply 255May 30, 2024 1:39 PM

I’m the local ads on Rentmen, discounts begin at Sunday evening.

by Anonymousreply 256May 30, 2024 2:17 PM

I’m the worst avocado toast you will ever eat in your life.

by Anonymousreply 257May 30, 2024 3:20 PM

I'm shocked.

by Anonymousreply 258May 30, 2024 3:44 PM

I thought I had landed in paradise and to this day love it. Sure you can burn out on the scene. You can also bliss out on the physical beauty around you both human and the place itself.

I go there now for long weekends once or twice a season and stay in old friends homes. I’ve long ago outgrown the experiences of my youth, not quite enough to do for longer and or more frequent visits. But the fun being had is a gas to observe. Substance abuse is a risk of course but if you can focus on the fun and not take yourself or the place seriously- you’ll have a ball. And you really might fall in love.

by Anonymousreply 259May 30, 2024 5:51 PM

I've never lived in New York but our family visited friends on Fire Island way back in the early 70s . That must have been the first time I experienced what we call bucket hats and we foreigners definitely thought of them as part of a Fire Island identity. I haven't been back since but know of its reputation. It gives me little chill-thrills to hear bucket hats mentioned.

by Anonymousreply 260May 30, 2024 6:13 PM

[quote] I go there now for long weekends once or twice a season and stay in old friends homes.

I genuinely misread that as you “stay in old friends holes”. I’ve clearly been on DL too much now and must leave.

by Anonymousreply 261May 31, 2024 1:02 PM

Anyone going to that place this summer?

by Anonymousreply 262July 19, 2024 6:10 PM

They look like fools in those skirts.

by Anonymousreply 263July 19, 2024 6:12 PM

R263 their straight coworkers had a good laugh

by Anonymousreply 264July 19, 2024 6:14 PM
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