Lying about his age

We are so aged focus - I can see cutting a couple years off.

I did 10 plus years on-line with tricks. No one said anything but I pushed being 45 a tad too long. In public, I share my age, On-line for trick, maybe not. For a LTR, no lies.

Like most on DL, I believe you're only as old as you feel. And I'm determined to feel 39 for the rest of my life.....LOL. Granted, it's a bit embarrassing when the other person can't refrain from giggling when you spit out your internet age.

Why does it matter, OP?

Why indeed, R3. . . Perhaps I'm wondering whether I should have taken that lie, which I discovered early in the relationship, more seriously (as a symptom of broader issues).

[quote]But is a person who lies about his age relationship material?

YOU DARE TO ASK THIS ON THE DATALOUNGE!

If he’s 15 and claims to be 19 - that would be a problem.

But why lie about it at all? Would you have rejected him because he was five years older? A few years ago my landlord arranged to have work done in the apartment and hired a handyman to do the job. Within the first five minutes of meeting him he told me he was 47 and not married. And? This nut job who I had zero interest in just kept on coming on. I wrote him off as a tiresome pest with a silly schoolboy crush. Mind you, he was the hired help and nothing more. When the job was finished I thought that would be the end of it. Silly me. He turned out to be one of the most disturbed, damaged, destructive, sick and dangerous people I have ever known. True story. Beware.

I should clarify that he was 52 and most definitely MARRIED. Carry on.

[quote]Mind you, he was the hired help and nothing more.

Well, you sound like a catch.

Who would do such a thing? I freely admit to being 33.

Apparently he seemed to think so, r9. I know you think you’re being glib but being stalked is an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Half of Hollywood!

Vain, vacant cocksucker.

In this day and age, when older men are a hot commodity, why bother shaving five years off your own age? And what do you say when he inevitably finds out the real number?

[quote]I know you think you’re being glib

No, I am just being extremely glad I don't know you.

I don’t lie about my age online because I don’t want to attract guys that aren’t my age. Hasn’t really helped. All the guys my age are married or in relationships and I have no idea why they’re cruising on apps in the first place, other than to find someone younger than me. I already get too much attention from guys that are younger than I am that is… flattering, but not always welcome. Especially if it comes with hole pics before a decent hello.

So I’m wasting my time online. But I have seen pics of guys who claimed to be in their 50s which I have no doubt is true, but then the photos scream 1992. That gives me pause. I never have a photo over a year old and I usually try to update them every couple months. I don’t want anybody being surprised if they meet me in person.

Lol!! 5 minutes after I posted that I got a message from a younger guy who DID say hello. And followed with a pic of his ass.

People who lie about their age are afraid of going forward in life for some reason. They don't know who they are or who they want to be.

I felt most self-conscious about my age in my mid twenties (not that I lied). I officially wasn't a kid but I still didn't have myself figured out at all. At 27 I found a satisfying job and the age anxiety went away... Then crept back up on me because I didn't have a long-term partner I was in love with. That went away too, because I started putting myself out there again.

Lest ye think I make these things up. I managed a “hi” but declined to compliment his butt and am not engaging in further conversations. Scruff mercifully won’t let you save or screenshot shared pics and I’m not interested in embarrassing anyone so I did cut out his username but the dates and times are there and I promise that was an ass (no hole at least) and this is sadly my life these days.

Did I hit a nerve, r14? Hit the button on the end and you won’t have to read any of my pesky posts ever again. Problem solved.

R-9, I think they overreacted. Getting harassed and stalked may sound like a fun time for some weirdos, but I agree with you.

R19

I always lie about my age.

Because I'm a vampire.

OP - you've given no specifics at all.

Lying online and showing up 10 to 15 years older and fatter - obviously that's fraud.

But a few years here and there - who cares?

R22, probably the only acceptable reason.

I lie about my age because otherwise people would hesitate while I'm hooking.

My last ex did this said 39 and was 45. As far as I know, didn’t recall other inconsistencies at all. He was just a bit low on self esteem. He didn’t even know his own penis was above average. He was very green and I’m several years past it.

R23, the polling question gave a five-year discrepancy as an example and this was the gap in the case I'm thinking of. My silence on other issues may be taken to mean that this person had been honest about other stuff.

Own your fucking age and don't lie about it.

No OP.

I don't care about hook-ups. Whatever age they tell me is fine. Whatever floats their boat. I've met a few that told some whoppers too - tried to shave off a decade etc. Not that I even cared! I just snickered to myself. If I'm attracted to someone then it's because they look good.

But for someone I was interested in for more - then yes it would be a problem. I would assume that if he lies about something as basic and critical as his age, then he would lie about other things. Probably rightfully so in my experience. I'm always honest and I expect them to be too.

I'm really surprised by some of the responses in this thread to be honest. Perhaps I'm the odd one out here.

Still 33 are we R10?

If he's hawt and hung, IDGAF.

I would be much more concerned if he lied about being single, having HIV or genital warts, or having a prison record.

Lying about your age (within 5 years) is more of an embarrassing display of vanity and insecurity. It's like lying to a potential partner about your weight or how much money you have/make. These are superficialities unless the lie is ridiculously inaccurate, then it might be more a case of pathology.

Thank you, R31. That has put my thoughts into words.