I want to be underwhelmed—Dog Days Edition 🐕

Where were we?

I'm poster #2!

Mazel tov.

Premature!!

Eldergay!!

Overcast. Completely grayscale day.

Not premature.

Still waiting.

And....we're off. Previous thread met its quota of posts!

Continue to underwhelm here.

I don't care about Kevin Costner's divorce.

I think it's supposed to mean something if your ring finger is longer than your index finger like mine is.

I just googled it. It means you are probably a man. I knew that already.

Momma, I'm a woman!

R11 You sound whelmed.

I'm done waiting. Was unexpectedly on my feet for two hours.

R13 are you normally on your back for two hour stretches? 😉😊

Carlos

Severe Flash Flood Warnings are coming in a mile a minute in New England. People have been alerted not to travel unless escaping a flooded area. Mary!

One of my toenails seems to have grown overnight. The others are of acceptable length.

Are you the person who took my moms shit chair from the curb?

I'm watching David Venable on QVC. Haven't seen him for a long time. Production values look less than they used to be. They do have the featured salespeople back in the studio, instead of Zoom, so that's better.

They did a close-up of David holding a chocolate-covered pretzel and his fingernail look busted.

David looks to be a good weight, he does look a bit older. Hair is still dyed. His eyebrows seem to have disappeared.

Other than the fact that it was QVC r19, what part of that post was supposed to be underwhelming.

I’m tired of the constant weather warnings. I may have to turn off the alerts.

My vacuum was not suctioning properly. I got frustrated trying to fix it so left it in the middle of the room to deal with after lunch. On my way to the kitchen with dishes after lunch I tripped over them vacuum and dislodged the blockage. Vacuum is working perfectly now.

R22, I thought tragedy was about to ensue when you left the vacuum in the middle of the room. I was *sure* tragedy would ensue when you tripped on the vacuum while holding dishes.

Speed less

Eat ass

R23 it's an underwhelming miracle!

Get jobs!

I can’t wait for bed

I’m in bed watching ID Channel

I’m going to tell my dentist to use Gorilla Glue when he reattaches my crown tomorrow morning first thing.

R29 we don't want you to become a meme.

Meme this!

Im not sure how bad are Haribo gummy bears for the health/body?

Its nearly nine p.m. and still over 100°. However, it is mid-July after all, so it's not whelming.

78 degrees at midnight

Yesterday I beat my all time best for the Sunday Times crossword. Then I just carried on. No celebration.

I’m so fucking hot

[quote]I’m so fucking hot

In the sense of being eye candy or of being all gross and sweaty because of the hot weather?

This is the Datalounge, r37.

I THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION!

Gloomy and cool

I'm too sexy for this shirt.

Unsure if it's worth the money 💰- a 1 year subscription of the New Yorker

Is it wrong to put Mountain Time in Military time?

"Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls. In my head. Endless loop.

^^^In my late teens I listened to this record so many times that it broke the cassette tape. Oh how I miss the late 90s

Hi lesbian r43

R22 You didn’t know you were supposed to be the next Pelé, but the piano lessons got in the way

I thought they were tap lessons.

Get a job!

I just dropped a very satisfying poo. Praise be!

R48 after 10 days without a bowel movement?

I am too lazy to get up and have this wee. We'll see how long I can stand it.

I'm up guzzling coffee!

Drinking Kirkland medium roast ground coffee.

Lasted 10 minutes.

My gout has flared up. First flare up in 9 months. Ugh!

Today is my food bank volunteer day.

R55, cherries are in season. They help.

There has been a marked decline in the quality of contributions to this thread. Is it you?

I think it is you.

I have to wee again.

Grandma, what’s wrong with me?

You’re stupid and ugly.

I'm trying to find the threat about the black young lady who went missing for 48 hours after leaving her wig and purse on the side of the highway. Apparently she spotted a diaper clad baby roaming the highway in the middle of the night, went to help and just vanished, only to reappear 2 days later ..

Can someone post link for the thread. Thanks babesss.

^^thread

I'm just getting over one of the worst cases of poison ivy that I've ever had. It was only on my hands, but it blistered the backs of three fingers into welts the size of a half dollar. I knew not to pop the blisters, but they grew so large in such a short time, they popped on their own - disgusting. The kicker was that a NEW blister would immediately start to form in the exact same space where the old one popped. This was something straight outta' Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. A trip to Urgent Care and a hefty five day regimen of Prednisone now have my hands looking like I only scorched them in a pizza oven and not like I'm carrying end-of-days Black Plague Monkey Pox type shit.

I'm suddenly getting blisters near my mouth 2x in the last month in and near the same spot.

R63 I had poison ivy on my left ass cheek one summer. It was awful

I don't know the difference between poison ivy and poison oak.

R63, I condole you. I'm feeling itchy just reading your post. Can you use some cortisone lotion?

I think I want a career change. I’m a little burnt out. I want to do what DJ Khaled does and just shout my name out loud over hip hop songs for money. I’m not interested in being on tv or promoting things at clubs. I just want to go into a recording studio for five minutes a month and shout “Briiiiii-aaaan O’REILLLLLLLY!” a couple times a year for $200,000.

I don’t need to be a millionaire, just want to be able to continue living comfortably.

[quote]Can you use some cortisone lotion?

Been using it since day two and it has helped. Initially I used this hand scrub called Mean Green/Full Bore that I purchased on Amazon to remove the Urushiol. It's similar to Zanfil but not as expensive. Normally it works like magic, but this time around, it was no match for the strain that I got.

I don't want to work. I jus want to bang on de drum all day.

Are you picking your ass?

My cat is being aloof.

I don’t have to be anywhere or see anyone today. Great!

Thank you for returning us to form, r72.

Yes, thank you, R72, The scatological trolls aren't whelming, but they certainly are a bore.

I woke up early and cannot get back to sleep. Are we in lockdown, or is it just that it's early?

It's an underwhelming side effect of aging, R76. Started happening to me around the time I turned 35.

On Saturday morning, Fed-Ex sent me a notice that I have a package being delivered Thursday. On Saturday afternoon they said it would be delivered Tuesday morning. On Monday they confirmed this. It never arrived. Today they tell me it will be delivered tomorrow.

Get your shit together Fed Ex.

My lunch was underwhelming. I ordered a chicken quesadilla from the office building's cafe.

They used their terrible seasoned chicken breast (they use herbs that are NOT Mexican or Spanish), the tortilla was slightly burnt, and I asked for extra salsa and didn't get any. To top it all off, my baby bottle of Cholula has turned to a muddy brown. I think I will need 3 baby Whoppers candies to get over this.

I find that remarkably overwhelming.

R80, I'm one of the dreaded females who posts here so, alas, I am not. I apologize for overwhelming you.

Sorry Cosmo.

I just caulked my tub fixtures. On the front of the tube in big letters it says “water-ready in 30 minutes.” But in small print on the back it says wait 24 hours before exposing to water.

Bastards!

The good hotel was three times the usual price, so I had to take the underwhelming alternative.

Just ate one of those big Lindt chocolate bars, milk chocolate flavor.

I had a dentist appointment today with an hour and 20 minutes in the chair. My mouth is sore. I had some egg noodles with butter, garlic powder, pepper, Parmesan cheese and peas. Then two chocolate pudding cups. I’m crashing from carb overload. Hope my mouth feels better in the morning but I have to be very careful about what I eat for the next four weeks until the dental work is completed.

R86, sorry to hear about your long dental appointment.

The egg noodles and butter sounds comforting.

Too late now, but be careful eating if you still have Novocaine effects. I ate pizza when my mouth was still on Novocaine and burned and tore the inside of my mouth (without feeling it).

I want to visit the Lake District with an older lover

This week has been slower than the second coming.

My social studies teacher in high school used to say, "I don't brush my teeth, I just eat apples". I was thinking about that for some reason today. We all thought it was gross at the time.

I had my annual Medicare Wellness Check this morning.

Everything is copacetic, so underwhelming in a good way.

I saw my doc today too, I'm on Ozempic baby!

R90 he was unhygienic

All I ever wanted was a side salad!!

R86, I condole you. The only thing I ever want after getting drilled by my dentist is a large mashed potatoes from Popeye’s.

And don’t get whelmed by my comment, anyone. My dentist is an extremely sweet Asian woman with young kids. But she’s awesome and works 15 miles away in a suburb that I initially moved to before moving into the city 4 years ago. I could find a closer dentist, but I won’t. She’s the best dentist I’ve ever had and she’s younger than me, so she’s taking care of my teeth until they’re either all gone or I am. If I have to move to another state, I’m keeping her! I’ll just fly back a couple times a year as needed.

I ate a peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich for dinner.

R92, congrats

Congrats for a diabetic on meds? Wtf

R98, or weight loss, which isn’t a bad thing as much as all the “naturally” (🤣) thin posters here like to shame.

[quote]We all thought it was gross at the time.

And you were absolutely right, R90.

An apple a day gives the dentist good pay?

Grocery order was two hours late.

I had insomnia the night before last. Only got 4 hours of sleep. Last night, I went to sleep before it was even dark and got more than 9 hours of sleep.

I was just on a tutorial video call that was supposed to help us with a new system. I have no idea what was shown or how it relates to me. Perhaps these sessions shouldn't be held on Friday afternoons?

People who schedule work meetings on Friday afternoons are troublemakers and are to be avoided.

My sentiments exactly, R105! Of course, the people who scheduled it are in the Central time zone so it's not late for them. We used to have monthly company meetings at 4 pm ET/3 pm CT. Can't tell you how many of those I missed! Besides, they were always recorded so I could watch it at another time. Like Fridays at 3 PM.

I saw the new Evita at the American Rep in Cambridge the other night.

More tango, ingenious set design, acres of candlelit camellias.

But still underwhelmed.

I needed to say, “hello, Cunts” today.

Hello, Cunts.

Thanks.

R108 Why the need? Just curious, not particularly whelmed. Are there only certain days you feel the need?

My cat has turned away from me.

As all cats will inevitably do, R110.

Mint r10?

Don't Fall In Love (I Said)

I wonder if Sara Gilbert and Melissa Gilbert are blood related

Blood relatives

I was going to look through my bookshelves today, with the aim of chucking out at least a quarter of my collection, but a newish friend called and asked if I wanted to hang out this afternoon and then spend the evening watching trashy TV. I said yes. - She’s a doll and I love her, and I’m really glad she persevered in trying to make us be friends even when I thought she was too young, smart and interesting to really want to spend time with a fairly underwhelming person like me.

Just inserted an ass mint

The packing tape they sell at the UPS store at grossly inflated prices has been designed by Satan himself.

Stubborn belly fat is the antichrist

[quote]I wonder if Sara Gilbert and Melissa Gilbert are blood related

Half sisters.

I'm already seeing back to school commercials. We're still in late mid Juyl!!

I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!

[quote]We're still in late mid July

R121 Please define the dates that comprise "late mid July". Your post confuses and whelms me.

[quote]We're still in late mid Julyl!!

[quote] Please define the dates that comprise "late mid July". Your post confuses and whelms me.

I would call July 22 "early late July." July 1-10 is early July. July 11-20 is mid-July. July 21-31 is late July.

- not r121

Playing Xmas music at a local hallmark card store operated by a gay bickering couple

R123 late mid July is July 20 and onwards. It's not really mid July like 15th, 16th etc but late mid

I’m not sure I like the Substack app.

I’m trying to figure out the advantage of using the app vs. website.

I’m stuck in the “conserve all memory” age of iphone.

Early July: July 1 - 10

Mid-July: July 11 - 20

Late mid-July: July 16 - 20

Late July: July 21 - 31

R128 That makes sense. Thank you!

Cat not doing as they're told, even though they'd benefit greatly from obeying.

I need to empty the dishwasher, and then I need to take a picture for my passport application.

Is there some way to combine the two tasks, R131?

It doesn’t make sense. Why is there a late-mid but no early-mid?

Early 1-10

Mid 11-20

Late 21-31

That makes sense.

I just ate 2 cheese buns

I get really annoyed when sales store reps drop change in my hands so as not to make skin contact, after I hand them a $20

Snack twinning with r134. I just had cheese toast. Smoked gouda on rye.

Mid is already past early, why would there be an early mid? Makes zero sense . Late is before mid , therefore it makes sense to have late mid

The two glasses of wine are starting to wear off. Sigh.

It cost £10 at the photobooth for 4 passport photos. I’m genuinely raging!

[quote]It cost £10 at the photobooth for 4 passport photos. I’m genuinely raging!

I did mine a few weeks ago and had to do it twice. The first ones were too awful for me to live with for the next ten years.

London.

Went and sat in the garden because the sun had come out and I thought I should get a few rays. But as soon as I sat down the sun disappeared behind a cloud. This happened several times in a row.

It's just not a sunny day,.deal

Large fresh brewed Bigalow iced tea w/ I pkg of Stevia in the raw and squirt of real lemon juice

Early July: July 1 - 10

Mid-July: July 11 - 20

Early mid-July: July 11 - 15

Late mid-July: July 16 - 20

Late July: July 21 - 31

[quote]It's just not a sunny day,.deal

I am dealing. Who said I wasn't?

That DQ commercial where they show the chocolate ice cream, it looks like the shit emoji 💩

Gimme a double scoop cone!

Phrases/ words I'm hating right now: " grooming" and " you're all set"

May I manipulate Kris’ pussy lips to make them less loose and stretched out looking?

Kris’ pussy lips look just fine to me, Donna.

Miss Duncan, they’re making me uncomfortable.

Time is not being kind to The Decemberists. All of the songs sound the same now.

What do you guys think of this cervical traction device? I went to a physical therapist the other day (for knees) and asked her about neck traction. This is what she recommended. It's around $26 on Amazon. I think I'll get it.

R134 I have one very similar. It feels really good despite how ridiculous it looks.

A squirrel killed one of my plants creating a home for itself on my balcony. Can’t blame it. The weather was horrific with wind and rain. It made a cozy dry bed until the worst was over. I understand why he did it but I’m still suppressing the urge to kill it. I admit I got some satisfaction from destroying his home the next day. Don’t worry I won’t kill it.

Leftover from yesterday didn't cut it.

I'm malaised with the mildest of headaches, feel sorry for me.

r155 I condole you.

[quote]I'm malaised with the mildest of headaches, feel sorry for me.

Not if you're going to turn "malaise" into a verb, I won't.

R157 I'm practically in my deathbed and yet you feel the need to be so cruel.

On your deathbed from the mildest of headaches, R158? I find you guilty of the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue!

Eating 2 peach scones daily, each packed with 21g of Sugar, in addition to all other sugar loaded foods you eat throughout the day, does not help with the weightloss journey, when the daily sugar recommendation is only 36g!

I just went down a rabbit hole of Cate Blanchett videos on YouTube

R161 Whew! And you lived to tell about it.

Hot crotch! My crotch is hot AF. 🔥

No wonder you want to be underwhelmed ^^

Saga re: fixing my blinds. Continued.

I got the parts from Amazon. The "hex hole" (hexagonal hole where the bar runs through the machinery) is too small. I looked on the reviews and other reviewers had the same problem.

I was going to give up, but got back on the horse.

I saw a review (Amazon) for another tilter mechanism. This lady had posted a photo of her old, broken part - and her old, broken part looked exactly like mine! She said that the mechanism worked, for her. So, I figure it should work, for me.

This is a huge deal because my broken part looked nothing like anything I could find on the internet. Yet, this random lady / Amazon reviewer had the same part.

I made a list tonight of all the repairs my house needs. None of them are massive jobs, but there are so many of them. I think I may just move instead.

Today's not as hot as yesterday.

Today was hotter than yesterday and the next four days will be hotter still.

Thank you Mr Carrier.

Put a single ice cube just inside your rectum. It will cool you off quickly.

Open up the freezer door while complete naked. It will cool you off instantly and give the food a cheap thrill.

^^^or it will cause your food to go bad

Make like Marilyn Monroe and stick your undies in the icebox.

It's going to hit 100 tomorrow in D.C., with high humidity, of course. I certainly have no intention of stepping outside.

I want a salad that doesn’t cost $20 or a Gyro with Gordon’s Gin.

I’m in Scotland. It’s freezing.

Forgot to lower the blackout curtain. Shit.

[quote]It's going to hit 100 tomorrow in D.C., with high humidity, of course. I certainly have no intention of stepping outside.

R173 Joe? Is that you?

[quote]I want a salad that doesn’t cost $20

So make one.

I have killed several vegetables in this heat. The tiny fridge has ghost brocolli, NOT Greg @ R178, and I’ve had to douche it with vinegar.

I had the gin&gyro. Lots of people out walking very happy pets.

^what?

Hey Southern DLers --- In about a month the 2023 green peanut season will start. Yay!

R176 - are you posting from 1942?

It so fuckin’ hot out! 102 degrees here.

It is quite hot both in Boston and on the Cape.

My office was so cold this morning, I almost turned on my space heater.

My house is now nicely chilled and I’m going to have any ice cold martini while I peel peaches.

A tornado touched down around Mt Monadnock today, hikers must have felt a good breeze.

Cat is pouting because I won't let it go somewhere it shouldn't.

Your cat is emulating you, r186!

R178, Nobody thought you were Gerg. 🤭

R169, You might want to parlay that advice into X-rated ice-"cube" trays. "Shark Tank" awaits! 😊

I hired three guys to pull my weeds today. This is not a euphemism. 😉

It should be.

I bought a Swedish mid-century rosewood credenza that was kind of banged up. I had it refinished because I thought the stain was too dark. It came back exactly the same color. It does look much better now, but I probably would not have gone to the expense if I’d known it would not be lighter. The furniture guy says it’s the natural color of the wood. He might have told me that before.

Or you might have researched it.

Does anyone still buy a credenza?

I have another rosewood piece that is much lighter, though they may have faded over time.

It’s to store my booze, Elaine. We don’t all keep it on the kitchen counter.

I dearly love every word in the phrase “Swedish mid-century rosewood credenza”, and I would love to own one.

I liked Frasier’s apartment.

I have a credenza in my house. There is a lamp on it.

I say, "Alexa, turn on credenza."

Or off, as the case may be.

[quote] I liked Frasier’s apartment.

I really liked it too, hence my liking for r189’s Swedish mid-century rosewood credenza. - All those words sound great to me. I love Swedish design, and the American mid-century modern homes posted here by Tasteful Friends are beautiful. They are the highpoint of American design, in my view.

[quote] Does anyone still buy a credenza?

I like credenzas. I'd like to have one right outside my front door. Just a place to put stuff while I unlock my door, etc.

You credenza queens are crazy. I bought two old school office book cases and used them as side boards for 15 years. They looked nice but when I moved I had no room for them. The movers trashed them.

I just deleted a wall of text on my experiences with mid-20th century baked finishes.

I did it on accident, but I’m pretty sure it’s for the best.

It’s a delightful 14 celsius.

Astounded that I'm spending my middle-aged weekends watching animated shorts about an anthropomorphic egg on Netflix.

Astounded that I'm spending my middle-aged weekends watching repeats of 70s shows like Wonder Woman on H&I and McMillan & Wife on Cozi.

R199, the credenza actually replaced a bookcase. I had been convinced in another thread not to have my liquor on display.

[quote] I had been convinced in another thread not to have my liquor on display.

R203, what was the reason to not have liquor on display?

Because it's tatty, R204

Tatty means "in bad condition." Not sure how displaying liquor is "tatty." Lowbrow, maybe?

One of the dictionary definitions for tatty is shabby or ill-kempt; ragged; untidy.

I'm American and it's not a commonly used word here, but I thought my source would have known better, as he defined it as the opposite of "posh."

R207, I believe the word you are looking for is “common”.

I admire someone who uses disinterested advice that makes sense, R203. It’s just that you have to make sure the booze is worth hiding.

Leave Famous Grouse out as a distraction. Everyone loves Famous Grouse.

I have a very nice collection of quality whiskeys and tequilas as well as the other basics. Unfortunately, I can’t really drink on my current meds.

I’ve decided to show you the credenza.

Someone is asking $6,700 for the same piece, so perhaps refinishing was worthwhile.

Very nice.

But too dark.

I was overwhelmed, then I made the mistake of taking a Valium, and now I'm underwhelmed and want to cry. The phones been ringing, but I just don't care. I guess I should look to see who's calling.

It’s a scammer.

I'm thinking of eating an entire mini cheesecake all by myself...

Go for it. It's a mini cheesecake.

Cheescake is high in saturated fats and high chloesterol too, all bad for the heart

Chicken and shrimp with Herb spaghetti or Parmesian chicken?

Shrimp with spaghetti. No need for the chicken.

Cheescake is poison because it is high in both sugar and saturated fats which are two leading contributors of heart disease, diabetes etc

An occasional cheesecake won’t kill you.

I hate cheesecake. Not because of the inherent health risks r221 and r218 present, but because in reality, it is neither cheese nor cake.

You can’t polish a turd.

What is it r223?

I’m just back from an evening with friends and I think I may have been impolite when I left them. i basically just jumped into a cab, as if I couldn’t wait to get away. I really had a nice evening, but I do hate the way I seem so socially inept at the most basic level of behaviour.

My personality underwhelms me.

Sweetened, pasty goo, r225.

Yeah. What is cheesecake?

Scaddabush

R226 aspergers?

I restored my WEMO smart plug and this time it wasn't an ordeal.

I can again say, "Siri, turn on printer."

No, r230, I’m generally very well-attuned to my own feelings and the feelings of others, but I do wonder if I am suffering from low-level depression or social anxiety. I’m second-guessing myself a lot lately and I don’t seem to like myself much. It’s strange how this sort of feeling creeps up on me.

R230, texts between friends redeem so many insecurities.

Fapping at speeds that make me feel like I’m drunk

I overate , went for a run, then took a satisfying dump

^^&Not in that order^^

[quote] Shrimp with spaghetti. No need for the chicken.

This overwhelms me. Sounds disgusting. Shrimp cocktail, yes. With spaghetti? No, I don't care if it's alfredo or whatever. No, no, no..

[quote]Cheescake is poison because it is high in both sugar and saturated fats which are two leading contributors of heart disease, diabetes etc.

STFU.

[quote] This overwhelms me. Sounds disgusting. Shrimp cocktail, yes. With spaghetti? No, I don't care if it's alfredo or whatever. No, no, no..

What? I was just talking about shrimp with the spaghetti - as in the pasta.

Spaghetti as a pasta is pretty neutral, like any other pasta. Disgusting? Geez.

I plan on vacuuming before it gets too hit.

The serving size on the keto granola I bought at Costco is 1/3 cup. Seriously?

Add mini marshmallows to bulk that stuff up, R241.

[quote] The serving size on the keto granola I bought at Costco is 1/3 cup. Seriously?

I'd return it.

Remember that's merely a "suggested serving," R241. You can scarf down the whole bag if you'd like.

It's KNEE JEER NOT nigh ger!!!

Stupid fucking idiot, wonder whose saggy balls he sucked to get hired to report the news.

I know it’s just a suggestion, but it’s also the basis upon which they provide all of the nutritional information, so the serving size should be realistic. 1/3 cup of granola is not realistic.

I usually do about 1/2 c. granola in 3/4 c. plain greek yogurt. Its about 400 cal.

For lunch I enjoyed an ear of bicolor carn that that I cooked in my microwave on my Pillivuyt white ceramic carn dish and ate using my sterling silver carn cob holders.

Full belly, whelmed.

Are you (or rather, were you) Ann Miller, R248?

R248, in the book series, Nero Wolfe celebrates August with a huge carn grilling. The men feast on nothing but hot, buttery carn.

The prep description had this tubby little gayling all aquiver.

I’d love a hot buttery ear of carn. Unfortunately, I’m a herbivore.

So, use artificially flavored butter salt.

^whoosh!

R245 - I once listened to an entire lecture in church by a missionary who pronounced the country Nigeria with a hard g. I was laughing, no one else was.

Back to normal healthy eating tomorrow. It was fun while it lasted.

Paroled in winter, the felon got a job in a South Texas carnival and dined on the local food, which was mediocre.

Once chilly, the fair con carny ate the chili con carne, fair fare. (Too corny?)

I was looking forward to having a day completely to myself but now I am a little lonely.

Expect be to be in full-on bitch mode this afternoon

[quote] Back to normal healthy eating tomorrow. It was fun while it lasted.

Did you eat that mini cheesecake?

I ate an entire thing of Boursin cheese, yesterday.

[quote] It's KNEE JEER NOT nigh ger!!!

The dimwitted news reporter pronounced : NIGER as--- nigh- Ger ( HARD FUCKING G)

Like just go ahead and say the N word , it's what you probably wanted to say Mr. Dimwitted newsreader

I believe this thread has wandered far away from its intended path.

I just grilled and ate a steak that marinated about 30 hours. I had intended to grill it last night but there was a bad thunderstorm so had something else. It was so tender and flavorful I think I may always do this now.

I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

I've figured pit who Britney Spears reminds me of when she does these IG post , where she dances half naked like a drugged out hooker -Karla Homolka. The resemblance is uncanny

The NYT crossword had an editing error today. Two three-letter words clued only as counterparts to each other that crossed at the third letter.

They were looking for tit and tat, but many people entered the equally correct tic and tac and there was no way to catch the “mistake”.

Tsk tsk. Standards have fallen.

My A/C was not working, so I called for a repair. I walked around naked, hoping the repairman was good-looking and muscular, sweating so much his wet white shirt was clinging to his chest. The doorbell rang; I wrapped a towel around, and opened the door to a sweaty 400 pound man who farted at first sight. He bent over the outdoor unit, half of his hairy crack showing.

My A/C is fixed, but I'm in despair.

R167 I understand why you would want to be underwhelmed. Your hopes were crushed. Being underwhelmed would be a positive step forward.

Ice had built up at the back of my fridge today, so I had to defrost it.

I’m thinking about using some gift vouchers to purchase a heated blanket to huddle under in the winter, but it is only available in teal.

I replaced all my black kitchen appliances with stainless steel and now I'm sorry I did.

R270 If teal is that bluish/greenish color, I would find it quite soothing.

R272, it is that colour, which i actually like, but it would look out of place in my living room.

My other option is this faux fur one, which looks cosy but it’s almost double the price and may look tacky.

I dont believe Queen Elizaberh just suddenly dropped dead. Her doctors probably had told family members that the Queen didn't have long to live and was near death. Perhaps they may have even given a time frame. But of course no royal family member will ever tell us

R273, that faux fur blanket is 20 pounds or $25 US. Sounds reasonable.

R274, she was 96, was becoming increasingly immobile and had lost a massive amount of weight. I doubt very much anyone was buying her Christmas gifts far in advance.

R25, your maths skills are dodgy.

Ugh, apologies to r25, my post was meant for r275

Well, how much does that blanket cost? The Amazon listing doesn't list the price. I got the 20 pounds from another item that was listed in the top margin.

R279, it’s £114 (approx 146 USD).

Six Canada Geese lurk around the shoreline of the lake around dusk and come up during the night to shit all over my yard. I've tried to deter them by telling them to fuck off and go away. I've even sent my dog out to shoo them but they're stubborn. I'll be getting out the shovel again tomorrow morning.

What you doing with that shovel?

The Queen Mother left 15 million pounds in her will to William and Harry. Strange, she had 8 grandkids but left so much more to only 2.

Now that the humidity is gone, for the moment at least, it's too cold to have my balcony door open. I've got goose-bumps on my arms and Cos is laying, kitty-loaf style, on his purr pad. For those who don't know, kitty-loaf style is when a cat lays down with all four feet underneath it.

Just rearranged the room. It's marginally better.

I’m going to make some pasta for lunch, and drain it.

R281 get some fake owls and/or swans to deter the geese.

[R207], I believe the word you are looking for is “vulgar".

Of course, it’s not vulgar to have a few bottles out after cocktail hour. That’s gracious.

The problem with getting up early is it’s such a long way til lunch.

R281 The geese were a problem at our local golf course.

These seem to work.

My chosen mode of employment frequently induces an ineffable sense of ennui in me.

Meaning, "My job sucks," R292?

[quote] The problem with getting up early is it’s such a long way til lunch.

Can you move up your lunch hour? I wake up early, too, but I eat lunch when I'm hungry, which is early.

My hands and wrists are killing me this afternoon.

You know Canada geese are worthless if Cajuns can't even figure out a way to cook 'em so they'll taste good.

I’m going to do laundry, and then have lots of nibbly bits for dinner (pakora, spring rolls, chicken tenders, and peaches and yogurt for pudding).

[quote]nibbly bits

In which country are "nibbly bits" a thing?

Yesterday I knocked onto my tiled kitchen floor a Corningware casserole lid. The glass lost.

Contests between kitchen floors and cookware often have predictable winners.

Actually, if you have a hardwood kitchen floor, it can be a draw.

[quote] In which country are "nibbly bits" a thing?

R298, Germany. It’s called Abendbrot.

I have cork floors and very rarely any breakage. I hate the color though. When I replace I will probably go for engineered hardwood. Altho the cork is cozy in the winter.

It's under 90 degrees F in my town today

It has been 62 degrees here today. My fingers are cold. July has been a cool, wash-out month.

Those damn geese decided to spend the night on my dock and left a mess this morning. I had to go out early to clean it off before it became a poo poo platter for my dog.

I hate little, tiny dicks!!

R305 lives in the North Pole

I can do 2 reps of 20 sit ups

R281 I had the same problem with geese taking over my yard. Then I bought a Super Soaker and started blasting them. It didn't hurt them but it startled them enough that within a week, they never came back to my place.

[quote]For those who don't know, kitty-loaf style is when a cat lays down with all four feet underneath it.

R284 Thanks, Cos. When my cat lays like that, I call him a baked potato but kitty-loaf is much kinder.

Cat: One hell of a nice animal, frequently mistaken for a meatloaf. - B. Kliban (1977)

Only about 10 days until the end of the Dog Days of Summer...

my grandfather was superstitious about the Dog Days, not a good time...

I feel the same way

My dog is superstitious about your grandfather r313.

^ The term Dog Days has nothing to do with dogs but refers to the period Sirius, or the Dog Star, appears to rise alongside the sun, in late July in the Northern Hemisphere

That’s one theory.

What is the next phase of summer called? I always thought dog days went until end of Aug. Why Aug 11?

R317 late summer until mid SEPTEMBER

Stupid long gaps between meetings.

To wear a thumb ring is the most moronic thing to do

I washed my crotch

I went to bed early 2 hours ago. Now I’m wide awake and fear I won’t sleep again.

R134 no fancy name for late.Aug to mid Sep? Like maybe purple haze summer?

I am watching the first season of Charmed. Definitely underwhelming.

R323, cant think of a name however, t's one of my favorite time of year, and the best part of summer- the end.

So melancholic. I walk around with Maggie May and Boys of Summer playing in my head during these times.

Sturgeon Moon tonight - August 1

Blue Moon, August 30th

Harvest Moon, September 29

Perseids peak August 12-13

How and when do I see the sturgeon moon on the east coast

^^^Look up in the sky assuming they're clear tonight.

Nivea Lip Gloss Scrub

The moon has been super-bright. What's going on.

[quoteI went to bed early 2 hours ago. Now I’m wide awake and fear I won’t sleep again.

Ever??

It's 3:41 a.m. Every time I wake up Lawrence O'Donnell is on my TV. Next time I'm changing the channel.

[quote]It's 3:41 a.m. Every time I wake up Lawrence O'Donnell is on my TV.

FFS Larry, could you get off the TV?

[quote] Yesterday I knocked onto my tiled kitchen floor a Corningware casserole lid. The glass lost.

R299, not to overwhelm you, but you need to replace that lid NOW. Corningware was bought by Instant Pot and they just declared bankruptcy so this may be your last shot to get a replacement lid. Go to Amazon, corningware.com, eBaay, wherever and get a new lid ASAP because they may not be making them anymore soon. I lost a French White medium sized casserole to the floor (and a couple of gin and tonics) thanksgiving last year and still haven’t replaced it and every day since finding out about the bankruptcy, I say I’m going to and every day I don’t, and one day soon, that day will be too late.

My cat woke me up before my alarm by racing at full speed into my bedroom and slapping me across the face HARD this morning and then he bolted out the room. I haven’t posted about my cat in any of the other posts here, because all those cats sound sweet and mine is just a little asshole.

Finally, I want to move to the mountains and build a house. I have a fantasy about having a beautifully landscaped yard and a super hot Latino muscle bear landscaper who comes over to take care of things and then we have passionate sex after he’s done and all sweaty. I already have a super hot Latino muscle bear boyfriend but he works in IT. So I think my fantasy is really just that I want a house in the mountains and my boyfriend mows the lawn.

If you call him Larry he’ll get right off that TV and kick your ass.

R334, Cos knocks things off the dresser or chews on something loud and mysterious to get me out of bed. If I'm laying on my back, I get a paw to the boob which is painful since he steps on my nipple (sorry, gays!).

i was going to go to the office today, like I do most Wednesdays, but decided not to. I'll go in tomorrow.

OVERWHELMED -- My most recent blood panel revealed I am a Type II diabetic and my PCP wrote me a prescription for Farxiga.

No problem I thought, the metformin I've been taking for years is dirt cheap. But when I went in to pick it up at my pharmacy, those damn pills were over $500 for 30 doses. I refused the prescription.

Fellow DLers on Farxiga, how the hell do you afford a $6000/year drug?!

R337, have you tried looking at your diet? I was pre-diabetic pre-COVID and my doctor wanted to put me on meds.

I asked her if I could try changing my diet a little and check my lab work after 6 months (I get lab work 2x a year because of my cholesterol and BP meds). I was able to get it back down. I realized that I was eating 1/2 or full bagel with butter or cream cheese several days a week at work when someone would bring them in.

Earlier this year, I was in the same boat. I had started treating myself to a weekly Sunday Taylor Ham, egg, and cheese on a roll sandwich for breakfast. I stopped eating those and I'm back to normal.

R337, that sucks. In the US? It sounds like you have insurance.and it’s in their “Tier: this is ridiculous!”

Try the patient assistance program. The pharmacies have to run your insurance and co-pay card at the same time. You’ll know if they come back with a price higher than $300 if they didn’t and just get ask them to run them again TOGETHER is it’s higher than $125. Pharmacies aren’t always great at running both at the same time, so if the application says you’re eligible, just ask them if they ran it with your insurance company. (And if there are any questions on this application that may disqualify you, LIE! If it’s about income or a diagnosis, just tell them what they want to hear. The pharmaceutical company has no way to verify anything you tell them).

Try the card and call your pharmacy back today with the card info you get. I’ll bet it works and brings it down to $125, but I have heard that even with caps, sometimes they’ll get confused and you can get more than the discount max they offer. Insurance and drug pricing are mysterious. Intentionally.

There wasn't enough beans for a full pot. Dammit.

R337, I totally misread your post and for some reason thought you said $300. That card should work for some discount, but may not bring it to $125 (but it may). And if you tried using a GoodRx card, they’ll need to remove that or it probably also won’t work. So make sure they DON’T try to use that again. Just be persistent with the pharmacy. And good luck.

I’m drowsy as it’s rainy morning here.

[quote] [R334], Cos knocks things off the dresser or chews on something loud and mysterious to get me out of bed. If I'm laying on my back, I get a paw to the boob which is painful since he steps on my nipple (sorry, gays!).

Yup. I get all that minus nipple damage. Instead I get bitten on the nose. Sometimes gently, but sometimes like he’s trying to give me a new piercing. And some more stuff that is so much worse.

I technically have two cats (since I stupidly signed the adoption contract) but when my neighbors ask what my cats names are, I’ll tell them the older one’s and they’ll say “I thought you had two” I’ll say “oh no!! I have one. The little one is my CAT’S cat. That little grey SOB ain’t mine!”

The GoodRx price for Farxiga or Jardiance, a similar drug, both run in excess of $500/mo.

Ask the doc if there are other SGLT2 inhibitors like them that cost less.

R337, I hate to keep posting at you, but did they tell you or did you already know you probably have chronic kidney disease? I hope you can get that filled. My mom died of end stage renal disease and dialysis is very unpleasant. Sorry if I’m whelming you more.

I eat ass cause I like it!

^at least it’s low-cal and has no fat or carbs.

R334 my mountain house with lawnmowing man fantasy is exactly the same as yours.

When God was handing out lives, tortoises really drew the short straw, didn't they?

Speed isn’t all that.

R348, you want my boyfriend to mow your lawn? I think I’m gonna have enough trouble getting him to mow mine. 😉 But I can ask. The worst thing he’ll say is “WHO are these people you’re talking to and why are you always asking me crazy stuff?” And I’ll just lie and tell him “it was in a Facebook group” like I always do. God, he can never know about this place or what I do here…

Mow my fucking lawn!

It’ll be more “mow my lawn and then let’s start fucking Or don’t and let’s just go upstairs anyway!”

Install a new roof

Ronnie the rapist

Americans would probably say tattered instead of tatty.

Americans would probably say tacky instead of tatty.

Americans would say raggedy instead of tatty.

I’m going to turn off the fountain in my pond in a few. A band of chickadees show up to bathe at their favorite swimming hole every night around 6:00. They like the water still.

I wish my boyfriend would stop mowing his lawn. It looks stupid against his very hairy legs.

Hide his lawnmower, r360

It’s too hot to cut grass - not good for the lawn. Don’t hide the lawnmower.

Remove the blade and send it in for sharpening. You brace the blade with a thick piece of wood through the clipping shoot as you wrench the bolt off. Remove blade and wrap blade in cardboard. You could sharpen this yourself if you hate nature. He’s supposed to be nolawn. Sucks to be on the wrong side of history. Poor fella. He probably has red ears and neck from too much sun.

Put the bolt back on and don’t mention the blade unless he asks. He may just enjoy pushing the mower around the yard.

^🤣🤣🤣

Yesterday, it was blazing hot, I had to go to the bathroom, but I decided to drop off my recycling at the recycling center (before going home). A homeless guy (he said he was homeless) approached me and asked me to make a phone call for him. He asked me to call a local clinic and ask them to pick him up.

As I was on the phone, he started talking to someone else at the recycling center, asking them if they're on their way to the clinic. (He didn't ask me for a ride, but I had already decided that I wasn't going to give him a ride if he did ask.) The other person said no.

The person on the phone said that the guy needed to arrange for a ride 72 hours in advance. Meanwhile, I'm looking at the guy and he's got a metal spoon in his hand. He's not eating anything, so I figure it's for drugs. He told me he was an athlete and I did believe him. He looked like Jeremiah Johnson in a desert, though.

I left him there, at the recycling center. I was thinking he was working up to ask me for money. (I had already decided that I wasn't going to give him any money if he asked me.) The phone call to the clinic was just a way to start talking to me, I think.

[quote]I’m going to turn off the fountain in my pond in a few.

'Ere you got a cement pond too, chile?

R364 I’m glad I wasn’t the person you tried to avoid at the recycling center. Why don’t you try treating others like you would want to be treated.

I accidentally WW a post instead of the one below.

[quote]R364, I’m glad I wasn’t the person you tried to avoid at the recycling center. Why don’t you try treating others like you would want to be treated.

Why couldn't you treat him the way he'd be treated by any STRANGER on the STREET?

Used a nice luxury salt scrub in the shower, only to find myself scrubbing tile afterwards because it was oily and slippery. Nice-smelling soft skin is for shit if I fall and break my hip.

I’m sure the nurse who would be giving the sponge baths would appreciate nice-smelling soft skin.

I’ve now run out of Marples, Poirots and Morses (all three series).

What now?

Endeavours and Lewises, r371.

Start over on 15 year's worth of MIDSOMER MURDERS.

I have never watched Midsomer Murders.

I watched a few Midsomers. Not impressed.

That’s what I meant by all three Morse series—I’ve already viewed the Morses once and the others twice.

R371, I endorse the suggestions above this, plus:

"Professor T"---BOTH the Koen De Bouw and the Ben Miller series are excellent! [Note: Ben Miller basically takes this character to "A Death in Paradise" for Seasons 1 and 2, plus Season 3, Episode 1.]

"Prime Suspect"---With the inimitable Helen Mirren. (It begins with the brilliant Tom Wilkinson as her boyfriend, but he doesn't really fit the show, so this character is jettisoned early on.)

"Father Brown"---Mark Williams era. But ONLY the "Flambeau" (John Light) episodes!

"Vera"---Brenda Blethyn is the female rumpled Columbo

And more!

Champagne acid reflux. Sigh.

Sad, R378. But I can sympathize.

My pussy is smack dab in the middle of my body! Hot damn! Smack dab in the middle of EVERYTHING!

My maternal grandmother (b. 1898) thought Mentholatum was a wonder drug.

As did my father (b. 1925), R381. I remember asking for the Vicks shirt whenever I was snotty. I should buy vaporub.

My friend had a major cramp on the inside of her leg (not her first she tells me) as she got out of my car. She was in so much pain she was on the verge of tears and immobilized.

We were in the parking lot of Home Goods and Trader Joe’s, so she had me run into TJ’s and by a jar of pickles so she can drink the juice. She read somewhere that it helps with cramps and had worked before, so I bring her some kosher dills and she starts chugging away. It did help.

She doesn’t know if it’s a mind trick or the properties in the juice, and she doesn’t care.

I’ve heard that eating a teaspoon of mustard alleviates leg cramps. I haven’t tried it, though.

That cramp, being on the verge of tears and immobilized, and needing a jar of pickles - immediately - that sounds non-underwhelming.

I was too tired to cook, so we just did Uber Eats. We ordered from a Salvadoran place that had a really high rating and everything was so cheap on the menu, so I got three pupusas, and rice and refried beans. The pupusas were only three dollars and the beans and rice were only two dollars each so I was kind of expecting it to be very small portions. But they were fucking huge. They were like three times the size of any pupusa I have ever had and instead of coming wrapped in foil individually, they were stacked on top of one another, so I just poured the sauce and put the curtido on top and ate them like pancakes. And I have to say, for being as cheap as it was, it was fucking awesome.

But I think I ordered food from a food truck. Like a real serious food truck, not a new cuisine, hipster food truck, but one of the ones that’s been around since the 70s.

🤷🏻

I am sleeping with two dogs. Not mine. It's nice!

I felt like shit. I had a stressful week. I was interacting with more people than I normally do.

I took a Covid test. At first, the results looked inconclusive. Now, the results look like negative. Praise God. (Just joking.)

R388, I condole you. I had a stressful week too. I feel as if I did nothing but work (from home) and eat bad food. I’m catching up on sleep and spending time outdoors this weekend.

I hope you feel back to your best soon.

[quote]I am sleeping with two dogs. Not mine. It's nice!

Did two strange dogs crawl into your bed? I would find that whelming.

Thank you so much, R389. I hope you start to feel better, too.

i had a stressful day yesterday. the nurse infused my venofer (iron sucrose) too quickly. I wound up unable to move very well hours afterwards because my joints swelled up as a result. I'm better this morning.

Sue!

R390 no, I know these dogs and I am not in my bad or even my house.

^^Bed!

I like to believe that the strange noise my cat makes when I put down her food is her way of saying, “Thank you, kind sir.”

Or "Finally, you asshole!"

My cat does not treat me like she thinks I’m an asshole.

R387, what’s your dog gonna think when they find out you’ve been sleeping around with other dogs? You know they can smell it on you like a cheap whore’s perfume.

You got a pre-nup? Your dog’s gonna get the house, the car, and probably half of all your money.

[Quote] pupusas

WTF r396! You ate SLOP!

Huh?

Cosmo likes the bird videos on YT. But, today, he found a video of fish that has calming music. It made him so relaxed he slept for 2 hours. I don’t know how he found this video. He likes to paw at the screen so I guess he found it by chance.

R383 your friend was probably dehydrated and needed sodium lost from sweating. Gatorade works and rebalances electrolytes.

I was searching for a charm to buy for my sister's birthday and I found one dedicated to DL.

^ Please have this charm inscribed, "Do Not Wash Your Pasta - Forever DL"

I need a new phone, but I am really cheap and do not want to pay the exhorbitant prices being demanded.

How much do you want to spend, R406? Maybe you can buy an older model.

i'm moving out of state to Illinois and need to change cable companies to Xfinity. I went to the store this morning and all the other customers were there to complain about the service. WTF have I gotten into?

R400, if you’ve never had a pupusa or don’t know what they are, just say so. But slop? GTFO!! They’re AMAZING.

I imagine you say things like “ooh. This oatmeal is SPICY! Breakin’ a sweat over here!”

[quote] My cat does not treat me like she thinks I’m an asshole.

R406, I needed to get a second phone (long story, overwhelming), and a friend that owns a vintage store and runs his own auctions suggested Groupon. First, I had no idea Groupon still existed much less sold phones. And I got a dirt cheap brand new unlocked iPhone, that wasn’t a coupon or from a store, but from a seller who apparently has a truckload of phones. Who knew Groupon even did this??

And because it was just a phone, I would be using occasionally, I got a Visible by Verizon plan for $25 a month including taxes with unlimited 5g data. I’m not even sure how Verizon stays in business if they’re selling the same network coverage and plans for $25 instead of 90 like they do. I might actually ditch my real phone and just switch over to Visible.

[quote]My cat does not treat me like she thinks I’m an asshole.

"About fucking time, kind sir."

It’s true she’s often impatient around meal time. Thanks for destroying my happiness.

I need to go food shopping, tomorrow. I wonder if there will still be Bing cherries.

^ whatever you do, don't buy the nectarines - they're as sour as my daughter Dorothy - I had to return them for a refund.

I told my grandma I like nature. She replied “fuck nature”.

Pray for brains

I just finished making another batch of my Chunky Lentil Soup. I've been making this soup since 1993. I put the celery in for the last ten minutes of cooking time which is a total of 45 minutes. This way the celery retains a certain amount of crunchiness.

R417, have you met my pretty daughter Gloria?

I had a West Highland Terrier who would sit opposite and stare at me when I commanded him to do something. It's like he's saying "You fool! I'm not doing it."

Weird day. Not whelming weird, but just eyrollingly weird. Now, I’m trying to stay awake during Family Feud and for what? I don’t get any of the prize money.

If I ever flair a pair of pants, I’m going to use wider ties from the 90s - greens, maroons, caramels, amoebas...

I’ll rip the seams, remove the lining, give the silk a good wash and press, then sew on a 12oz cotton backing. Fusing never feels right, so I’ll probably have to quilt the shit.

That sounds exhausting r422.

[quote]Thanks for destroying my happiness.

I feel just sick about it.

R411, Verizon is making most of its money buy 'renting' their towers to other carriers like Consumer Cellular and some other, smaller companies.

My company used to offer a 17% discount for Verizon and I've been taking advantage for the last 17 years. Late late month, Verizon asked me to re-verify that I still worked for the company, which I did. We received an email early this month that the discount was being discontinued because Verizon feels its rates are competitive. As of this month, I'm still receiving my discount.

I’m a little sad because I’m shutting down my computer which I’ve had since 2012. I replaced the hard drive and upgraded the memory once, but it is stuck on a 2020 operating system and it’s time.

Daisy . . .Daisy . .

I’ve kept the whelm on a low simmer for a while, R426, knowing I have to do something similar sometime soon.

I condole you.

What computer do you have, R426? I'm in a similar situation with an older iMac. The operating system hasn't been updated for about a year. I tried to replace it, this summer, and ended up returning 2 iMacs due to weird start-up issues.

Frankly, my computer still works well, a little slow to start / launch Microsoft Word.

But I know I need to be proactive about this and will probably try to replace it, again.

My dog has the rainy day blues and has been lying on the porch with a sad expression.

It’s a 2012 Mac Mini. Replacing it with a 2023 Mac Mini, but I only have one monitor (older than the computer), so I have to switch back and forth. File transfer is ridiculously slow. At fist gave an estimate of 88 hours, but it’s down to 25 hours now (after about an hour). Why even bother estimating the transfer time if they are so inaccurate?

It’s actually on the 2019 OS—Catalina. It was getting glitchy, but one of the drives I had attached was faulty and that may have been messing it up.

Still, it’s missed three OS updates with a big upgrade due this fall. Can’t really justify not getting a new one.

I bought lots of healthy food yesterday, to feed myself through the week, then tonight I bought a large amount of disgustingly unhealthy garbage to eat for dinner instead.

What the fuck is wrong with me, apart from being a fat whore?

Don't be so hard on yourself, R432. I just did something similar. I food prepped on Sunday - healthy food. Today, I shopped. What did I get? Chips, chocolate, frozen pizza, bran muffins from the store bakery (not really healthy). Oh, and Walkers shortbread cookies.

R432, I have the same problem.

I bought a decent-sized piece of salmon last week, portioned it out and put it in freezer bags. I've eaten one piece but threw out 2 pieces because they had been defrosted over a week. I can't seem to eat the healthy stuff when I buy it. I can't seem to get my willpower back.

I should add that I'm shoveling SmartPop popcorn into my pie hole as I type.

[quote] File transfer is ridiculously slow. At fist gave an estimate of 88 hours, but it’s down to 25 hours now (after about an hour). Why even bother estimating the transfer time if they are so inaccurate?

Everything I update iOS on my iPhone it takes like 3 hours to download and 45 minutes to install. And I replace my phone pretty much every time s new model comes out (although I didn’t woth the 14 because they’ve discontinued the mini models and the regular sized are like twice the size do the first iPhone 4 I got. The iPhone Max looks like a tablet. I can’t deal with anything bigger than the mini and I’m a guy with big hands and I still can’t reach the top of the screen with one hand. Why do they keep making them larger??) and every time I do get a new phone, it takes 2 hours to set up and the almost 4 days to download everything from iCloud and install all of the apps. And I have to click on most of them to start them downloading.

There’s just something wrong about the way apple transfers data.

My computer is a Microsoft Surface laptop with Windows 11. If it says it’s going to update. It does in 2 minutes and then restarts itself. And it’s never taken me more than 15 minutes to set up a new PC.

I wish windows phones had caught on. They would have worked better than my iPhone, but they didn’t and they had no apps and support nothing.

[quote]What the fuck is wrong with me, apart from being a fat whore?

Isn't that enough?

Saw Christmas cards in a shop window today. FFS, it's the seventh of August.

I'm looking forward to fall.

I’m not

R425 Cos, 17 is your lucky number today. Do something with it.

When did Hollywood/celebs become such Swifties and so Taylor Swift crazy?

Is it a matter of jumping on the bandwagon?

Beyonce and Taylor have simultaneous tour dates across America right now, is this celeb swiftie craze proof that Taylor is the reiging queen and not Beyonce?

R441 I think you're in the thread although the topic underwhelms me.

I have played the Mega-Millions lottery for four weeks straight and I haven't won the big prize.

Currently I am enjoying fresh apricots. I don't remember eating them as a kid but I do love them.

R444 I always thought apricots were peaches smaller brothers. Love 'em both.

Animal life outdoors making noise and disturbing my sleep.

Try having a 16.5 lb cat hogging the bed and laying across your arm. Sleep? Not bloody likely.

I’m watching Pride and Prejudice for the third time just to see Matthew Macfadyen’s beefy thighs and hairy chest.

It's Tuesday. Tomorrow will be Wednesday.

The Today Show just did a story about Pumpkin Spice lattes. Isn't too soon for that nasty shit?! I have to agree with Al Roker. There's no pumpkin flavoring of any kind and its just a shit ton of chemical flavorings.

R432 and R433- I work very hard keeping or trying to keep to my healthful diet. I set up my meals at least a day in advance. Yesterday I couldn’t resist I went to Krispy Kreme doughnuts shop and bought a dozen donuts! I bought four jelly doughnuts two strawberry donuts three Boston cream and birthday cake donuts. I brought them home document to two freezer bags and stock them in my freezer to save for a rainy day. If I have them in the house I’m going to eat them at some point. I’m the person who mentioned on the weight loss thread that I’ve lost 60 pounds in two years but lately my body is trying to put the weight back on. I keep falling off the wagon.

It’s not pumpkin-flavored. It’s flavored by the spices used in pumpkin pie—nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger and cloves

But yes—we shouldn’t see that shit until November. Fucking Fraus.

Exactly, R452. Those are Fall/Autumn spices. What about 90 degree heat with 50% humidity says PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE??!!

R451, I'm glad you've gotten to a place where you can safely have those donuts in your freezer. I have no willpower. I would eat a donut today, and then next week's donut today, and the following week's donut, yes, you guessed it! I'd eat that today, too! I have to concentrate on getting my willpower back.

I feel like shit!!!

New computer pretty much set up. Look of Ventura is jarring.

^^It is not fool!

[quote] New computer pretty much set up. Look of Ventura is jarring.

What do you mean the look of Ventura is jarring? The wallpaper?

It’s not jarring. I use Ventura. I guess it is jarring if you are upgrading from MacOS Cheetah

I was upgrading from Catalina. And the default wallpaper is UGLY. I changed it, but it still shows up on the sign in screen.

Yeah it’s not ugly. You just dislike change and are probably trying to find fault

I like my iPad.

Or perhaps, “ugly” is a subjective quality 🤷🏻‍♂️

Lost the safe deposit key.

Rich bitch

Robert Redford is wearing Waffle-Stompers in Three Days of the Condor.

R464 Whatya gonna do?

I closed the blinds because I didn’t want to look at my messy patio.

I over ate

I have to defrost my tiny fridge, but I don’t want to wake up my Amaryllis babies… I think I’ll put them in an insulated lunch bag.

In two weeks, I’ll tell them it’s March and give them some rich soil and good sun.

I can torture them again at Christmas.

Early evening late summer glow

I’ve been feeling rundown. I think I need a physical.

I have a confession to make . . .

Most of the time, I can’t be bothered to chop the two tablespoons (or whatever) of parsley required to finish a recipe. No one has ever complained that they miss it.

Unless, of course, they’re muttering to each other on the way home, ‘That lazy so-and-so couldn’t be arsed to chop a few sprigs of parsley, can you buh-lieve it?’

What do you do with your backlog of parsley then?

It usually sits in the bottom of the crisper drawer until it turns to liquid, then I throw it in the compost.

I love parsley.

My blinds (window covering) saga has come to a close. I had to try four different mechanisms, but I finally found one that works. Not being able to adjust the light coming into my apartment was actually stressful.

R477 I'm glad your problem was solved but sorry to see you go.

I’m up in the middle of the night trying to decide if decomposing parsley is whelming.

R472 same here! In fact, I took a PTO yesterday from work because of how I felt. Not feeling that much better today.

I was overwhelmed by the cost, having never bought fencing before, but the men are coming today to replace the fence along my rear property line.

Getting estimates from tradespeople these days is exhausting -- no shows, ghosting, outrageous bids, etc.

I'm in the office today but wish I was home, watching tennis matches.

I just had a Granny Smith apple that was so exceptionally tart-sweet it tasted like a Green Apple Jolly Rancher.

I’m eating watermelon

The fence installers just left. I'm 95% satisfied. Left a little mess behind.

R485 Glad it worked out. I'm whelmed for you.

We had empanadas tonight. And a green salad.

I don't understand the tyalor Swift craze which has hit Hollywood

Getting nauseaus, headaches, burping , bloating after drinking green tea

After 6 years, I finally decided to schedule regular professional maintenance for my central a/c. I had been replacing the filters, but I didn’t know about cleaning the evaporator coils. We had central air when I was growing up and I’m pretty sure no one ever cleaned those coils. Anyway, the guy said they weren’t as disgusting as he expected, but he did charge for an extra hour to clean them.

I'm whelmed that R490 has given me something new to worry about. All I've been doing is replacing the filters twice a year.

The Netflix home screen features Matthew Broderick with the title “Killer”

Hope for a movie - Driving in Ireland With My Lover…with SJP, although I just want her frightened not maimed or killeded.

This may be whelming for some but it’s underwhelming me. By this point.

“Massage therapists” (prostitutes) hit me up on scruff for sex for money and when I say no, they’ll keep talking and see if I just wanna hook up anyway. For free. I don’t think that’s a very good business model and the answer is still no.

It’s only happened twice but I just got my second one. And I don’t know know to take it. Like I look like I’d pay for sex, but then when I say no, I get a 100% discount? If they think they’re smart enough to get money out of me or to not have to meet me in public where a bartender I know would watch them like a hawk or strong enough to beat the hell out of them, they’re wrong.

I’m probably scarier and more dangerous than they are.

Careful, r493. Potential for whelm.

My apologies to all. R494. I’m only on scruff to make friends anyway. It says I’m dating and I’m not looking for anything more than friends. And I’ve had better luck finding friends there than anywhere else. I’ve become very close to a 76 year old neighbor and we get dinner and talk about books.

I hope that brings the whelm down. Again, sorry.

I had to put the heating on last night. It was freezing, in August.

After watching some cat videos, I don't understand why people have them. They are vicious to their owners. Yikes!

My car passed its annual inspection w/o incident but there’s no more printout - just go to their website if you want a copy. Progress, I guess.

Apologies. It’s the condenser coils that need to be cleaned, not the evaporator coils. The ones outside.

[quote]I had to put the heating on last night. It was freezing, in August.

Turning on the heat in August is just wrong. I don't care how "freezing" it was.

Unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere, of course.

r496 what part of the world are you located? if in the US, what state??

Humid but not hot. Sweating. Weird.

My cat is only vicious in her imagination. She likes to stand at the basement stairs and roar.

Most of the time, if a cat domesticated cat acts viciously, it’s the owner’s fault, though there are some exceptions.

I had a friend whose cat used to try to bite her Carotid artery while she slept.

Lip-syncing. Sigh.

Gonna get my RSV and flu shots tomorrow morning. New COVID vax has not come in yet, per pharmacy.

I'm having a canned yerba mate energy drink. First time. Might buy it again.

I can't get my teeth through a fresh peach or apricot, the fruit world's versions of fingernails on a blackboard. But I find apricot jam and peach yogurt scrumptious!

I'm awaiting my Wegmans order. Diet Coke, water, tomatoes, Smart Balance, vegan cheese, and Newman's Vanilla Oreos, aka "Newman-Os."

Order arrived. I now know that two of those cookies suffice for anyone's sweet tooth.

I found some of the best peaches I've tasted in 20+ years, r509. They're called Chambersburg Peaches, because they're grown in Chambersburg, PA, and this year, they're delicious. No rock-solid peaches. No mushy peaches. Just peaches the way they used to be.

R510, I'll look for them (I'm in PA). If I find any I'll buy some for my friend to make me a peach pie!

r511 - Is that a stealth CMBYN reference?

[quote] what part of the world are you located? if in the US, what state??

R501, I’m in Scotland. It has been such a strange summer. June was beautifully sunny and warm (which is fairly usual for June), but July and August have been grey and rainy, and either oppressively muggy or freezing. And the trees are just starting to look autumnal already.

I just fell over a pack of water bottles while carrying laundry into a darkened room. I’ve now got a sore leg and feel excessively whelmed. I’m now lying down until the feeling goes away.

Cate Blanchett

Very sunburned tourists glowing throughout the city today.

R510 I bought some this morning to be turned - eventually, dpendimg on how the ripen - into peach ice cream. I make a gallon in two batches. This will be third time I've done so this summer and there are three half-gallons left in the freezer. The flavor has been spectacular with nothing but half and half, heavy cream, lemon juice, brandy, a drop or two of almond flavoring, brown sugar and peaches that you skin for 30 seconds in boiling water then peel them in ice water before chopping them. Two more tubs to freeze will carry us, tubbily, into November when it's time to make Frozen Pudding for the holidays.

[quote]Two more tubs to freeze will carry us, tubbily, into November when it's time to make Frozen Pudding for the holidays.

What goes into frozen pudding? Is it like rum raisin ice cream?

I want to murder whoever thought it was a good idea to move the ziploc from the top of a frozen fruit bag to the middle. Pouring out the fruit is a nightmare now. Same with popcorn. Sealing the bag is harder, too.

Haha, r519! No, solo pesche, mi dispiace.

R516, I find "sunburned tourists glowing throughout the city" a most poetic turn of phrase. I half-expect it to precede "talking of Michelangelo."

Well, I don't dare.

R520 here. I meant to reply to r512.

R518 Rum or brandy in vanilla ice cream with candied fruits, usually golden raisins, cherries, pineapple, apricots - whatever you’re able to get. In New England it tends to be a seasonal holiday flavor now, but it used to be available year round.

I'm cooking black-eyed peas. It'll be the first time to taste BEPs.

I'm originally from New England, R524, and I remember my father often ordering frozen pudding when we stopped at the local ice cream stand in the summer. Or maple walnut, of course.

I’m cooking black-eyed Susan’s, but they’re not hold up well. Kind of a disgusting mess, to tell the truth.

Aren't black-eyed Susans flowers, R527? Why would you want to cook them?

Whooosh!

Black-eyed peas?

For a moment just now I wasn’t sure if I’d had dinner already or that I’d be having dinner later. The latter, as it turns out.

I sold an old MacBook on eBay. The buyer is leaving the country soon, so he needed express shipping. eBay charges him UPS’s full price, then offers me a deeply discounted shipping label, and I keep the difference.

Doesn’t seem right. Oh, I’m keeping the money, but it doesn’t seem right.

R532, I didn't realize that eBay (the company) gets involved with the seller's shipping costs. I always wondered why some sellers don't charge for shipping and some do (quite a bit).

Do sellers get eBay's rate for shipping?

Yes, if they buy the shipping label from EBay.

Thanks, R534, that makes sense. Lots of the sellers ship via USPS Priority Mail, which isn't cheap - at full price. (They ship with Priority Mail and don't charge for shipping.) Yes, I know the shipping cost is probably built into the price.

Sellers don’t set shipping charges. They just enter package size and weight and pick a shipping option. EBay sets the cost.

How come some seller charge for shipping and some don't, though?

Sorry to be derailing this thread. This is an underwhelming topic, though.

I think I'll treat myself and rent "The Last Picture Show."

I collected a couple of books I had reserved at the library today. One of the books has only been read twice in seven years, which does not bode well.

What r537 said.

I saw on the news recently a lady who lives somewhere in Canada, complaining about tons of Amazon returns dropped at her front door. Boxes ontop of boxes of various types of shoes. She is dropping them all off at Goodwill

R541 Good for her.

R539 Same thing has happened to me. I'm glad to request a book that hasn't been read in two years. By requesting it, I've given it a reprieve from the recycling bin. Libraries can't keep up with books that aren't requested -- most have a 3 year limit. If the book hasn't been requested in 3 years, it's gone.

Alcohol really is poisonous. Not good for the body, ad bad as cigarettes, might even be worse

The Misseducation of Lauryn Hill is a seriously overrated album

[quote]Libraries can't keep up with books that aren't requested -- most have a 3 year limit. If the book hasn't been requested in 3 years, it's gone.

How does the Congressional Library keep up with their expanding stock? Who chooses what to keep?

R545, you take that back right now or I will slap the underwhelmed right out of you!

[quote]How does the Congressional Library keep up with their expanding stock? Who chooses what to keep?

I don’t know, but we’re in it. Can you imagine all the funny, outrageous, horrifying, and underwhelming things we’ve all posted here saved for eternity for future generations?

I hd an odd memory today that was triggered by absolutely nothing.

Have you ever got your hand stuck in a Whoppers carton? The malted milk balls that come in a container shaped like a carton of milk? The opening is so big that you can actually reach into them but if your hand is full of malted milk balls. It can be hard to pull it out.

It happened to me a long, long time ago while I was driving. I casually reached in with my right hand, grabbed some. And then couldn’t get my hand out. I was waving it all around the car trying to shake it off and free my hand but I couldn’t and I couldn’t take my left hand off the steering wheel to pull the container off my right hand. And the two most horrifying things were I was driving a stick shift so I couldn’t change gears, and I panicked and didn’t just open my hand and release the handful of whoppers so I could free it.

I was absolutely sure I’d get in a wreck and die and the police and paramedics would found me dead, launched through the windshield, laying in the street with my hand in the air with a carton of whoppers stuck on it. Thank god it was before the internet, because if it had happened, that would almost definitely go viral.

But I’m smarter now. I have an automatic.

This ever happen to anyone else? Surely I can’t be the only person. And before anyone asks, this is a 100% true story. It’s so ridiculous I don’t think I could make up a more absurd story.

Oh, I forgot the pic!

That's a hilarious and definitely a DL Fat Whore story, R550. I eat the Whoppers robins eggs during Easter time. I've never eaten out of that carton. I got into a car accident (not my fault, really) while eating Tostitos from the bag (family size, of course). I consider it bad luck, now, to eat while driving.

R551, I don’t eat and drive. And I’m not even a fat whore!! I’m 6’ 180lbs. I’m trying to gain weight (in muscle mass) ridiculously hard and it’s so much harder than it was 20 years ago!

I’m just an old whore.

I mean I don’t eat and drive *anymore*

The loudest thunderclap just woke me up, it sounded like Armageddon. Upstairs woke up too, I can hear them moving around. Meanwhile my partner snores blissfully through it all.

Standing back and standing by

EBay sellers can, of course, decide not to charge for shipping, but if they do pick a shipping method, eBay calculates the cost.

The Emergency! App on my phone woke me up at 2:40 AM with the news that the severe thunderstorm alert issued earlier, which it never told me about, had been “allowed to expire” because the storms moved on. Thanks for nothing, Emergency!

Severe heat warning for most areas that are not mine

R556, that’s not totally true. There’s an option to set your own price for shipping. I buy a lot (too much) from eBay and have sold things on eBay. I tried to buy a metal shelf the other day and the kind of shelf is almost exclusively sold by sellers from the UK so the shipping cost is high (around $40) and because it’s international, I understand that. But the shelf is only about $40. I found it from a seller in Texas and she wanted $45 for the shelf and $40 for shipping. That’s outrageous. So I’m made an offer I knew she would reject. I offered her $20 and she came back with an offer for $40. I rejected it and sent her a message saying “I’m very sorry, but you’re shipping a 5lb small package from Texas within the US and $40 for shipping is completely too high. I’m going to have to decline, but thank you and best of luck finding a buyer”. I think she saw that all the UK sellers were having to charge $40 so she thought she could too. And the outrageous thing is it’s a shelf that was originally $12 before it was discontinued! UK sellers are already scalping the last of them and she was probably going to use pirate ship and ship it USPS for less than $10.

I don’t understand how Pirate Ship works exactly but you can ship through almost any shipper thorough them. I bought a painting and the artist said he’d get it ready and get me a quote. It’s large. 4’ x 6’ and he came back and said “I’m so sorry, but the lowest price I could find for shipping was $350 on UPS. I completely understand if you don’t want to pay that. I want expecting it to be that high”. And I told him I had a friend in the same city (they were actually friends, I just hadn’t mentioned my fiend’s name to the artist) and said can he pick it up from you and we’ll figure out how to get it to me? The friend did, the artist was surprised we had a friend in common (and I had to ask my friend what his name was to find him because I’d forgotten it) and the friend took it and had it for about 9 months. Then one day I decided to just check the price on UPS. It had come down to a bit under $300, but still too much. So I looked at pirate ship. It was $57 through them using the same UPS service and insured. And a week later I had it, delivered by UPS.

I don’t know how they do that.

I couldn’t give a shit if I tried.

It’s Ironing day. Vodka and lemonade sounds too sticky. Besides, I have sauce for spaghetti simmering. I’m not getting a booze vibe from Sunday.

I wouldn't use the word "pirate" in a business name.

Aaargh!

R562, it’s a great name for a company in combination with the word “ship”. They ship inexpensively. I kinda love Pirate Ship now. They saved me $300 dollars!!

Seems like it’s eBay’s discounted shipping rates for everyone.

R554 and 557, do you live in northern NJ? That was the worst storm I have ever heard.

What woke me up was the loud clap of thunder and the power going out, which meant my CPAP stopped working. I thought death had surely come for me and was sitting on my face. I was suffocating. LOL. Thankfully, the power came back on in about an hour.

My phone warning @213am was for tornadoes in the area. Where the fuck am I going to take shelter at 213am? I live in an apartment on the ground floor. I don't have a basement.

Mosquito feasted on me, it seems.

Shipping charges may be the first topic that's too underwhelming even for the "underwhelmed" threads.

You can't jump a jet plane like you can a freight train

So, I'd best be on my way in the early morning rain

Onward

[quote] I thought death had surely come for me and was sitting on my face.

Pics please.

[quote] I thought death had surely come for me and was sitting on my face.

Pics please.

Before I knew what TIA meant, I thought it was someone’s name.

I assumed it was a reference to Tia Carrere.

The Dog Day are OVAH!

R566 A closet.

I need cheat sheet to solve a rubik's cube

I just take it apart, R576.

R573, oh god, you can’t even FATHOM how may times a day I get a message that says “Hey I got your message. Weren’t you the hot chick in Wayne’s World?” and I’m like “🙄 That was so long ago and I’m still working as an actress. I even have a big Disney movie coming! And I’m still hot!! And that message wasn’t even from me!!!”

I’ve come to loathe the internet.

[quote] Shipping charges may be the first topic that's too underwhelming even for the "underwhelmed" threads.

I finally feel like I successfully accomplished something in these threads.

Thank you.

Thank you for that.

Hey! I started the topic. I’ll take the kudos, thank you very much.

Now, where do I put my kudos?

Can I have your kudos?

R575 took years to come out of one. 😉😉

R549, We're onto your ploy!

Or this link:

I think you know perfectly well where you can put your kudos, r580.

R580, I stole your kudos.

And I’m not giving them back! 😝

It feels rather whelming to have two active, "I want to be underwhelmed" threads.

Ugh. My stove stopped working so an appliance guy came and said it's the outlet not the stove so I had to call an electrician.

I was hoping when DL came back, I’d finally be able to unwatch threads. Nope.

This thread just started.

The need for the underwhelming has increased. Has Becka run any statistics on this or is she on Covid 6 leave?

Just don’t post in the new one. It’s not rocket science.

Everything was broken today. Luckily, an electrician was able to come to the house and now my stove works so I'm cooking! Bad is no water on my street since there's a problem with pipes but they're working on it but it's been five hours and it's a drag. I didn't know I had somehow inadvertently turned off the sound on my phone and I was pissed off because I thought people were ignoring me. Things will improve.

[quote]Now, where do I put my kudos?

Nah. Too easy, R580.

I can't make the daisy. I have four 3 edge pieces, I can't get the 4th!

Link to the new thread...

[quote]Everything was broken today.

Perhaps you could do a commercial for that home insurance provider called Everything Breaks. I see their ads all the time on the mesothelioma channels.

My stove stopped working so an appliance guy came and said it's the outlet not the stove so I had to call an electrician.

R588 That is overwhelming. I hope you will be underwhelmed soon.

70 degrees at 9pm on the northeastern coast

I got daisy completed

I just read it was 1000 degrees in Maui . It feels like we're near the end folks