Bowen Yang Suffering From Depersonalization

He sounds like a dipshit.

Who is he?

Nobody knows R2. Some rando OP picked out of a news feed.

I experienced this many times and didn't know what it was. Not knowing what it was caused further distress by way of crippling depression and severe anxiety attacks. Prozac helped me.

Can we have your stuff R4?

Sounds awful.

I blame the iceberg.

He's a cast member on SNL, R2. I believe the first-ever Asian cast member. He's been a member for I think three years. And he's gay. He's very funny and seems like a truly nice, sweet guy.

The film The Matrix is an example of what this feels like.

Yeah op posts a lot of anxiety themed threads. He won’t get help.

Depersonalization and derealization can often be alleviated by breathing deeply and slowly — and I mean VERY slowly.

Derealization is the one I experience(d) more often. It was always, always caused by extreme anxiety and co-occurring depression.

Bowen Yang is annoying as fuck, by the way.

R3 plenty of people know who Bowen Yang is. He's on SNL.

R10 What are you talking about? I actually don't. I posted a "I need help with my drinking" thread during lockdown but that's about it, to my memory.

Bowen Yang may be "annoying as fuck" R11, but it is still a shitty thing to experience DP/DR and you would think, having experienced it yourself, you'd have sympathy. Even towards an annoying adult theater kid such as Bowen Yang.

What drugs he on?

That is exactly what I told my family, I feel like I am in a dream. This does not feel real. They had no idea what I was talking about and treated me like I was crazy.

Bowen is also on Awkwafina is Nora From Queens and is hilarious. Get up, Bowen! We need you.

I think the need he has to act and talk like a gay stereotype could lead to that depersonalization. People need to be themselves and individualistic and not feel like they got to be nelly in order to fit in or to be regarded as a real gay man.

but what's so bad about feeling like things aren't real or that things are like a dream? Extreme anxiety, pain or misery I can get but that?

I love him on Nora From Queens. I hope he feels better soon. SNL is satanic

I’ve been reading about this. I’ve felt awfully empty lately. Can’t get excited about anything. I think it’s just run of the mill depression. Anyway, I’m going to start therapy again.

I hope Bowen gets the help he needs. The world is weird right now.

The breathing exercises that helped me are explained here. When you are told to breathe, you are being given bad advice.

I have sympathy for anyone who suffers from it, but I cannot stand Bowen Yang. I’m not GLAD he has it, or anything.

R22 Thank you, putting this video in my back pocket in case I ever need it! Knock on wood I've been doing great and I'm off of all psych meds. I have been doing well with daily low-dose ketamine and occasional large-dose ketamine journeys, all through new legit telehealth services.

R19, you feel that you are going insane and isolated from other people because of your crazy thoughts.

r19 I don't get it either. I was out with a friend and she said she suffers from derealization and that she felt like she was floating above us as we were talking and I thought to myself "Sounds fun, like the flying nun!"

R21 Look into telehealth ketamine. It helped me tremendously. I am sorry you're struggling. I can relate to where you're at. Please take care of yourself, dear.

Yes the worst is that you feel that there is a barrier between you and other people/the world at large. Like a pain of glass, or a gauzy curtain. Hard to explain but it feels really terrible, and it's LONELY.

R24. This Dr really understands this topic and he is funny too. He explains how distressing thoughts are just thoughts and feelings that are manageable. Not curable, manageable.

I loved when he would do "She Bangs" on American Idol

Thanks R21. I’ll look into that.

Derealization feels like you’re disconnected from things happening around you in a way that’s almost impossible to describe. Every time someone describes it — including in this thread — I want to say “yeah, that’s not quite it.”

It’s a little like being what is called a “flow state”, when you’re working on something and so absorbed that you don’t notice anything around you, or the passage of time, etc.—except you’re not in a flow state. You’re actually trying to get through the day, trying to feel normal, but you feel like, “This isn’t really happening.”

I wouldn’t even call it a dreamlike state because in my dreams I’m never aware that I’m dreaming. This is sort of like having a lucid nightmare? But I’ve never had a lucid dream so I don’t even know if that’s apt.

For me the worst part of it is always, always the moment where I realize “Oh, shit, I’m having that feeling again.” And then I feel a jolt of PANIC. It happens frequently when I’m in crowded stores or crossing a busy, huge intersection in Manhattan.

The cause is always, always insufficient oxygen in the brain.

Is he married to Claire from Modern Family?

He's gay R33.

Yes, Bowen Yang is married to A WOMAN

In the Matrix Neo asks Morpheus asks, "is this real"? When I saw that scene I thought to myself "what is real" is a question I have been asking myself for years and I can't believe that it is being asked in a mainstream movie.

[quote]It’s a little like being what is called a “flow state”, when you’re working on something and so absorbed that you don’t notice anything around you, or the passage of time, etc.—except you’re not in a flow state. You’re actually trying to get through the day, trying to feel normal, but you feel like, “This isn’t really happening.”

I don't doubt that it's bad but nobody seems to be doing a good job of describing it. A flow state sounds pretty good to me, for example.

[quote]In the Matrix Neo asks Morpheus asks, "is this real"? When I saw that scene I thought to myself "what is real" is a question I have been asking myself for years and I can't believe that it is being asked in a mainstream movie.

I pretty much assume that nothing much is real and that everything is a stage and people are players like Shakespeare observed.

R2 and R3 = 🇷🇺

What gay person doesn't know Bowen Yang??

Trust me, when you're in it, it doesn't feel Shakespearean. It's a nightmare. You feel cut off from the world, from everyone else in it who are living their lives. You feel like a nothing. It's for sure hard to explain for someone who hasn't been there. I can tell you, though, it doesn't feel spiritual. It might be akin to Buddhist "ego death" but it has no feeling of "oneness" or expansion or enlightenment. It's like you died, but somehow are still seemingly alive.

You didn't explain what depersonalization is either. You did describe a scenario where it can hit, in an extremely busy crosswalk. I concentrate on breathing correctly and the sensation passes almost instantly.

R38 Non-Americans. Not everyone watches SNL or follows that.

I’m less familiar with depersonalization because it didn’t happen that frequently. Derealization — fuck, I get that once a week or something.

Depersonalization is when you look at your hands, arms, the rest of your body, and you feel disconnected from it, like it isn’t part of you.

It’s actually easier to describe than derealization.

Exactly R41. Most gay people have never heard of him R38. I'm R3 and Australian.

But you can call me Russian or whatever else floats your boat. You can also call me sir.

New York, where everyone needs a therapist. You never hear of this shit happening in Bumfuck, West Virginia. Just the usual mental illnesses there.

r32 I had that feeling when I went to see Company on Broadway. The claustrophobia of being trapped in the audience didn't help. I was thinking "This is the worst place to have a freakout. What if Patti Lupone yells at me?!" I was a tourist all alone in the hectic city. Then I travelled on to Paris where I felt even more outcast, like a ghost wandering the streets, cut off from my own society. Then my English friend showed up and fucked me silly and all was well.

Look at all the mental illness on display in this thread R44. And they are proud as fuck about it.

You're an idiot, R46. Go back to sleep, the adults are talking.

We are using the terms de-realization and depersonalization interchangeably and it is confusing.

R46, I am not remotely “proud” to have this affliction, but I’m not ashamed of it, either. It’s just an unfortunate thing that comes with having a lifelong anxiety disorder, inherited from both my parents.

What is wrong with you, retard?

Never heard of him. I'm 38, live in DC.

I have my moments but they’ve never been like that, thank God. I hope all of you who have it can hang in there.

Thank you for your valuable input, R50. Duly noted.

There are a ton of people discussed on DL I've never heard of. Pop stars, theater stars, soap opera stars, celebrities from other countries. It rarely occurs to me to bumble onto the thread to ask "who?" or announce "never heard of him." My fingers would fall off from typing it all of the time.

Why does anyone think we care? If you're curious you can just Google. Bowen Yang is one of the more famous gay people in the US right now, appearing on TV weekly. It's not that difficult to find out who he is.

R53 OK Bowen, we get it.

Has anyone mentioned if they don't know him? That information is always so fascinating, and so rare to encounter here. I just wish someone who doesn't know the topic of the thread would chime in to let us all know that they are unfamiliar with him. We're all just dying for that to happen.

Anyone?

It’s bizarre how there are SO MANY posts in this thread from people I have blocked.

R55 Never heard of him. Sorry for your sad feels about that :-(

R55 seems oddly triggered

R56

Girls, stay on-task here.

Is it like the feeling you get when you wake up and for a few moments you don’t know who you are or where you are?

Because that’s terrifying and I’d hate to be stuck in that feeling.

I’ve never woken up and not known who I am, but I wouldn’t say that’s a good way to describe derealization / depersonalization. The latter is a bit of a misnomer in that you don’t not know who you are, you just feel disconnected from your physical body. It’s been described as “viewing yourself [i.e. parts of your body] from a few inches farther” than you normally do. That’s how I’d describe it.

Derealization doesn’t feel like you don’t know where you are, it’s feeling very disconnected from your surroundings. It’s really, really difficult to describe. It’s also a bit difficult to remember exactly what the feeling and perception were once the moment has passed. (It’s a traumatic thing, so it might be that the brain wants to forget it.)

Another good way to describe it is as being lost in thought and then realizing you were zoned out for several minutes, and not paying attention…but ten times worse than that, and not being able to shake the feeling off. A quasi-fugue state, if you will.

It's also a sensation. Not just visuals. It's a sensation that people are talking, the world is happening, and you just have this feeling that none of it is real. Like, normally the world feels very 3-dimensional and life feels "real" but with an attack of DP/DR, suddenly, it seems clear that nothing is real. And your vision feels more two-dimensional. Like, you lose depth perception. Everything looks more flat. It's awful.

It's a coping mechanism for a glitching nervous system, and learning about the "why" of it makes it a little less scary. But it's at best, a very flat, unsatisfying way to exist. You certainly can't invest in relationships or plans or goals for the future in such a state. Because none of it feels meaningful, it feels inconsequential. Nothing has weight or meaning anymore.

I’m glad I don’t experience it chronically, like R63. God that sounds horrible. Even if I go through a period of experiencing an episode every day, it only lasts at most an hour or even just a half-hour. Are you able to “snap out of it” with breathing exercises?

I am able to snap out of the panic attack that occurs when an episode of de-realization hits by following the directions of Dr. Carbonell. And yes, it was a chronic condition that crippled.

Bowen is in the sketch. One of my favorites.

Interesting

I experience what I call dissociation due to past abuse, but I’ve never understood the distinctions between all those terms.

When I’m feeling really overwhelmed, I enter a space where reality is a bit removed and nothing is quite real, like I’m wrapped in cotton wool or something, and I’m sort of floating and experiencing things from a distance. It was very useful when I was in my abusive relationship and just had to endure whatever torture I was being put through, but even now, it allows me to get through difficult, stressful situations, so I suppose it does serve a purpose…?

R67 perhaps the dalliance with Levy caused this.

[quote]I just woke up one day and I felt completely empty inside. Dead inside. I didn't feel real. Nothing felt real. It was a nightmare and I am so grateful I was able, with a lot of effort and faith, to pull out of it.

Only to have it happen an hour later.

This is quite interesting how many DL’ers are afflicted by Bowen’s same illness. I am shocked.

Thank you for speaking up and giving us a better understanding of what it’s like to live with this complicated illness. It’s very confusing and must be an absolute bitch to endure. My heart goes out to each of you.

Hey guys! I've never heard of Bowen Yang! Isn't that fascinating? What do you all think of that?

R72 I think no one cares. Why are you on this thread then? Attention seeker, go away and do not let the DL door hit you in the ass.

[quote] Hey guys! I've never heard of Bowen Yang! Isn't that fascinating? What do you all think of that?

Wouldn’t it be funny if you found out that you are Yang depersonalized? You need to go into the white light or something.

I had an acquaintance who said since childhood he's had these spells where he is moving like 20 times faster than those around him. He moves so fast that no one can see him. He can even turn the TV off and on and it's not detectable to those watching.

That happens to people who suffer from severe panic attacks ..it’s part of the whole horrible cycle

R72 was blocked by me if anyone needs validation that they're a cunt.

[quote] I had an acquaintance who said since childhood he's had these spells where he is moving like 20 times faster than those around him. He moves so fast that no one can see him. He can even turn the TV off and on and it's not detectable to those watching.

Maybe he was just recalling the Star Trek episode.

R77 No one cares about who you block. Grow up.

R79 Breaking News: I have blocked every poster on this thread. You all triggered me. Cunts.

I've never heard of this condition and I've been surrounded by kooks my whole life. I predict many people will suddenly announce that they too suffer from depersonalization. Kind of like the way half the population is now "on the spectrum".

Is it today’s MPD/DID?

From the DSM:

Depersonalization/derealization disorder are persistent or recurrent episodes of depersonalization, derealization, or both. Episodes of depersonalization are characterized by a feeling of unreality or detachment from, or unfamiliarity with, one's whole self or from aspects of the self. The individual often feels completely detached from their own being, and there may be a diminished sense of agency. Common causes of the disorder are severe stress (interpersonal, financial, occupational), depression, anxiety (particularly panic attacks), and substance use. Substance such as tetrahydrocannabinol, hallucinogens, ketamine, MDMA, and salvia. Cannabis in particular may precipitate new-onset panic attacks and depersonalization/derealization symptoms simultaneously.

I've had this feeling. Like the feeling of being on autopilot, above yourself or away from yourself and others even though you know you are there, you don't feel connected. The thing about being detached from others and the gauze or glass thing I totally get. I wonder if this is related to depression.

Anyway, I know Bowen from SNL and other shows and I hope he gets treatment and finds some peace and balance.

FWIW, I asked my shrink brother and he said it’s common with PTSD or borderline personality disorder.

R84 Yes. That's exactly it. You get it. I'm sorry you have experienced it. I think it's like, the far outer reaches of anxiety and/or depression. Most people don't make it that far out and so they don't understand or they think it sounds made up or it's just someone being dramatic. It's a neurochemical thing. It's your nervous system on overload, it just starts to glitch out.

Nora From Queens

Stop taking drugs.

PTSD = almost being murdered, fought in a war zone, etc. These idiots who claim PTSD because they were bullied need their ass kicked. That’s not PTSD.

He’s a circuit queen who not doubt takes drugs like T. He’s too old for that shit.

[quote] I had an acquaintance who said since childhood he's had these spells where he is moving like 20 times faster than those around him. He moves so fast that no one can see him. He can even turn the TV off and on and it's not detectable to those watching.

Ezra, The Flash was only a movie.

[quote] Bowen Yang is one of the more famous gay people in the US right now, appearing on TV weekly.

On a show very few people watch. Go up to anyone on the street and ask them if they’ve heard of Bowen Yang. He was a diversity hire. He was not hired on merit. Let’s cut the crap.

r81, I too have never heard of it, but I hope he gets better. He does seem like a nice guy. Does anyone here listen to his podcast with Matt Rogers?

I can’t stand their podcast, but dealt with Matt Rogers once for work and he was a sweetheart.

R89 remember everyones tolerance to certain stressful situations is entirely different. We are not to judge their journey or decide who should have PTSD or not. The brain is a very powerful machine and a small misfire can cause major drama for some, but for others it may not.

He just realized he only has the one character: the tense, manic Asian bottom.

[quote] remember everyones tolerance to certain stressful situations is entirely different. We are not to judge their journey or decide who should have PTSD or not.

Wrong.

That’s typical anxiety, not PTSD. These people want to feel special with their litany of ailments. He should get an MRI to rule out a brain tumor.

Maybe his inability to relate to reality is behind his exhausting, unfunny gay minstrel act on SNL.

And his tiresome podcast, which is all about policing and apologizing for things that are incorrect according to 19-year-olds in Ohio on Twitter.

He can take a few years off to recover. He should.

So, so, so glad I don't live in R97s world. Sounds like it's very cruel. Good luck, R97!

R97 tell me what the truth is…

I can absolutely tell you childhood drama, etc affects the brain’s development (without getting technical). So, yes, I 100% stand by my statement. Please educate me on the real facts.

R97 didn’t grow up in my house. He’d be a trembling mess. He’d have ptsd oh yes.

R101 Childhood drama?

Is that when your siblings won't let you watch 101 Dalmatians in peace, so you pour pickle juice on their pillows?

Having an out-of-body experience? Blame this sausage-shaped piece of your brain

R103, would you like me to get technical about how the brain forms with Trauma (maybe that’s the proper term). If you know anything about Psychology you would not be asking these questions. I spent years in school studying the brain and psychology. Please educate me on the real truth.

I have an issue where sometimes I walk into a coffee shop, go to get in line, and it turns out there isn't really a line, it's just people gathering, and two different people I know that are at the shop start talking to me about different things, someone is behind me also waiting to order, and I am very keenly aware of everyone around me and their intentions. I feel lost and confused, and I only just came in there to get a coffee....yet I feel like I "have to process" every little thing around me coming from other people and I get paralyzed and ultimately really annoyed.

Is that one of these issues we're talking about? Because it happened to me this morning.

Wow. I totally had this in my twenties. I so thought I was just being a pussy. I had no idea it was a real condition.

I would have these acute moments of feeling unreal. Or fake. It would usually pass quickly once I calmed myself down. But if I couldn't calm myself down? I'd drink. And it's one (of the many) reason I became a drunk. Drinking made me forget I was forgetting being a person.

I grew out of it, thank god. I hope Yang does too.

Well, may have just realized his 15 minutes of fame are almost over... and he really doesn't have any talent to go anywhere else.

R108 Bowen is actually a very funny man. He was successful enough to be a regular on SNL. What have you done?

R109 Hmm.... did I hit a nerve? Let's wait five years.

R110 nope, hit a nerve? You’re a bully. My comment must have hit a nerve for you to bite back. I do not know the man. I know he was successful and good enough to get on SNL. If he is not successful in five years then he has bragging rights.

Not everyone who gets into show business wants to continue. It will eat you up and spit you out faster than you can blink. Who gives a shit? Let’s hear your accomplishments and see where you are at in five years?!?! Maybe hit by a car and in a wheelchair? Who knows? Bowen has mental illness and is sharing. Stop your immature nonsense.

Kids, you, these days are pathetic and ignorant.

R111 I agree with you. But this is DL. We're not exactly known for our civility and decency.

It's sorta our thing.

Sorry his persona left him.

His talent, if it ever existed, left him long ago.

He’s a MARY but I hope he gets help and feels better soon.

R112 I agree. I just think mental illness is such a huge obstacle for those who are plagued by its insidious hands. I am blessed to not have mental illness, but physical. Either way it probably sucks!

Bowen is an openly gay man on SNL, very few, have been so vocal especially on SNL.

I just want to support his ass, it’s my choice. You can do as you choose. However, I will speak up.

SNL is not known for their inclusiveness of gays. He is doing us a favor. I’m not saying a big change is going to happen, but being a man and out on SNL is huge. Support his back, if you choose.

I bet he posts on here too. Let’s make him feel loved and respected. Although, it’s a choice and my voice cannot change your behavior which I humbly own.

I love Bowen Yang so much. I think he's hilarious, he's in on the joke, and the fact that anyone here is talking about him means he's doing something right.

R43, Look, this is a US-centric site. Google when you don't know a cultural reference. And DON'T expect us to fawn over anyone named Minogue.

R116 thank you, Bowen.

He looks like he both smells and is a pervert.

That’s a nice way to say I’m dealing with drug withdrawal or I overdid it. He absolutely sucks as a “comic”, hope his career tanks fast.

This is what you get when you have too much time on your hands and spend it thinking about yourself.

If Bowen Yang were "doing us a favor," R115, he'd demonstrate talent beyond being a bitchy queen. Every single one of his appearances is in that lane.

He's a human sight gag. In the original cast, Garrett Morris described himself as the house [n-word], because that's what writers provided him, and he wasn't a writer.

But Bowen is the house faggot by his own choice.

I could do without SNL cast members telling us about their interior personal lives.

It's a hard fucking gig—we get it! You come on live at 11:35 Eastern Saturday three weeks a month for eight months (oh, wait...)

Note that the truly successful cast members (recently, Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon) never complain about it, but also-rans like Yang, Melissa Villaseñor, and Leslie Jones gave interviews complaining about the toll the show took on their mental health. Thousands of actors would love the opportunity to be so taxed—if it's too much for you, step aside!

Maybe Pete Davidson could help him out - when he gets out of rehab.

R111 Is that you Bowen? Did you forget your meds, today?

Well he’s back.

Omfg, that is the cringiest video.

Has he repersonalized, then?

Oh no. "Fire Island" was a revelation -- easily the best film I've seen in 20 years. We can't lose him.

Bowen Yang got incredibly lucky to get on SNL and to get the many other opportunities that have stemmed from it. And yet no one seems to enjoy their fame less than him. He’s always whining about some nonsense, like the video above. Who is even complaining SNL?! And who the fuck cares if they are? Go spend some of the millions you probably never expected to make and text with Ariana Grande or something. I don’t think so honey, Bowen’s whiny bitch attitude.

He seems like an unhappy person with a nasty attitude.

That video above is completely unnecessary to post on social media. Call your friends and say that shit, but you really need to publicly respond to random internet strangers making a joke about SNL?

Someone needs to take his phone away.

He's just having a Daniel Choi moment. He'll be fine again soon.

Was he depersonalized while making that super bitchy video? Or is that his personality?

He's been good on SNL, but his movie, Fire Island, was dumb as shit.

R129 You're joking, right? Does that mean it's the only film you've seen in twenty years?

O. Pee. Youhhh..

Ogden Tong, me too!

Fascinating! Tell us more about this Bowen Yang and his bout with depersonalization. And please, spare no detail.