Let's be A&E's 'Intervention'

I'm the frenetic xylophone music creating suspense as the addict approaches a conference room in a Best Western where the intervention will take place.

I love the meth and/or coke episodes. The heroin and pill episodes are generally too depressing. I believe the "new" episodes are filmed in Canada.

Where are my babies, where are my babies, where are my babies!!!

I'm Candy Finnigan. If there are kids involved, I'm gonna get fired up and emotional.

I’m the inevitable relapse.

I'm here with a bunch of people who love you like crazy.

Ugh! Jeff is the only interventionist I don't like. He says the same thing, every time (love you like crazy and want to fight to get you back). He's always phoning it in.

"They're gonna say what they have to say and you're gonna say what you have to say, and then we're done."

I fuckin' LOVE Sylvia.

I'm the brilliant rock star the addict was destined to become if not for meth.

I'm the addict who's ready for help..."but not today!"

I’m Mom. I’m co-dependent. I’ll drive (SUV) my addict adult child into skid row to pick up drugs. I’ll give my child $40 - and ONLY $40 - because that’s all I have. Tomorrow, I’ll have another $40 - but that’s all I’ll have, until the next day.

I'm the adolescent meltdown had a by a middle-aged addict when told his mom will stop paying his rent if he doesn't go to rehab today.

I'm the Intervention Directory website.

All the addicts featured on the show over the years have their own page with updates and comments. Sometimes the addicts (or former addicts) themselves drop in to comment and tell everyone how they're doing.

If you're curious WEHT someone you saw on the show years ago, this is the place to check.

I'm the sunshine she's walking on

I'm Candy Finnigan's shar pei of a face, and you KNOW I've seen some things.

I’m the cigarette that just has to be smoked at the moment of truth.

I'm the girl with the religious parents that couldn't deal with me being a lesbian, I ended up crying until the last minute of the episode; my "epilogue" mentioned that I ended up gettjng married way before gay marriage was legalized in the US. The moustache guy was my interventionist.

R15 I'm the canned air

I'm a montage of childhood photos.

The unbearable addict of today was very special when they were a little baby.

Man, the huffer (Alison) was fucking scary.

What's scarier is it's been more than 20 years since it aired.

I’m the inevitable kids living with the grandparents waiting for the parent to visit on their birthday. Addicts love to procreate.

I'm the tedious detour into Canadian only episodes they did for a couple seasons.

I don't want to watch some pitiful whore in Kamloops or whereever trying to hook at the only stoplight in town. I need somewhere gritty and dangerous like Baltimore or San Bernadino.

[quote] What's scarier is it's been more than 20 years since it aired.

But it hasn't. Intervention premiered in 2005. No idea how they have 24 seasons.

I’m Ken, the hot one. You all want to do the 13th step with me — admit it.

I was "the best baby" until I smoked that giggle weed in sixth grade. It's all been downhill since.

I'm the subject of the show filming an interview from the rehabilitation center where I've been since I accepted help over a month ago. This is the first time you've seen me lucid. I am shockingly clear-eyed, smooth-skinned and radiate health. I'm also the screen of text immediately following informing you, the viewer, that the subject checked out of rehab immediately after the interview wrapped, relapsed on drugs, and hasn't been heard from since.

I’m the person you used to watch Intervention with who now needs one

I'm a depressing, flyover town.

I'm Cristy... I'm so misty. Oh, my fat sister is here with my soup!

Cristy was scary. Her father wrote and sang that slow, creepy song that he wrote about her. The name of the song was: "Cristy." If ever there were creepy, incestuous vibes on Intervention, it was between Cristy and her father. Ken Seeley, former meth addict himself, was the interventionist.

Sober here, never seen the show, but this thread reminds me my NYC home recovery group and a newcomer that came to our morning meeting a handful of times. Maybe the third for fourth visit, a large group of his supportive friends came along with him, bringing a regalia of streamers, tablecloth, French pastries, napkins, and the finest steaming hot coffee for the entire group of 30 or so to celebrate his newfound sobriety…

Then we never saw him again.

R33 He went to WW after all the pastries

Some youtuber remixed the creepy song by Cristy's dad and it's a home run : check it out and you will never forget what a shit show her episode was.

I'm Cristy's "meth math" notebook.

I had two meth head roommates years ago (both wound up in jail months after I moved out) and a club kid friend that descended into madness from daily use- she thought the DJ Junior Vasquez was chasing her and sending her messages through his songs.

We one sat in a sushi bar and she convinced me he had hacked into their radio and commandeered the overhead music selection.

If I never see a “meth math” notebook ever again it will be too soon!

I'm the step parent planning my exit strategy as soon as I get that kid to rehab.

I’m the rehab in Parkerburg West Virginia you are going to for 90 days….I know your were hoping for a vacay in sunny Fl but tough luck

I'm burl. Do a bunch of meth and then try to find me out in the wilderness!

I'm the predatory older married guy giving money to the young female addict. I decline to be interviewed for the show and won't be part of the intervention.

I'm the monotone reading from a scrawled piece of paper:

"hello Bob this is your aunt Vivian I love you more than you know when you were little you used to say I was your favorite aunt and you wanted to be friends forever well I miss that little boy and do not recognize the man you've become ... "

I'm the grandparents' bank account being sucked dry.

I'm the checks that need to be cashed today!

If ya won't get help t'dey...

I'm Jeff van Vonderen's repulsive, wet-looking mustache. I look like I'd smell of bad soup and cigarettes.

I know we joke but this is actually a very good show done with integrity.

Ugh! I hated Gabe the Gambler.

I’m the functional addicts of the family hoping something can be done, hoping to throw out a list of resentments, yet fearing their own filth will be made public.

I'm Kristin's intervention...

Candy Finnigan -- Love you, gurl! Slay, kween!

I'm all the crying.

I'm the silly convention of having the addict spell their (usually common) name at the beginning of the show.

"My name is Mary. M-A-R-Y."

I'm the producer and film crew driving the drunk home from the bar after taking their car keys away.

That was annoying R53, but they stopped doing it before even the fourth season, because the intervenees knew instantly what this mannerism had in store for them. Even during the third season they had relatives spell their name instead of the intervenee. In the Dillon Brewer's episode S03E05, the producer had his mother spell her name instead of him spelling his: "my name is Tammy, T. A. M. M. Y." Dillon Brewer eventually committed suicide in a standoff with the police a couple of years after the failed intervention. He was the heir of a former big renowned Democratic family in OK. Let me tell you there is about much left of them as there is of the Democratic party in Oklahoma.

I'm the toxic families and dead end towns. No wonder someone would want to be high all the time.

R54 I’m the producer who is secretly a drunk myself.

Related: a Reddit Q&A with Ken the interventionist. Lots of interesting questions and answers.

I'm a crackhead's cry

I remember that one R59, it's so fucking fake. He SCRATCHES his chin in the middle of it?

I don't think it was fake, R60

In the traumatic event that supposedly kicked off the addiction: rape, a loved one's death, bullied at school, an injury, etc.

R59 oh my that’s ugly. He is kinda ugly already but Gheesh. I don’t think it’s fake either. And the lack of tears is from dehydration.

I'm Linda (Season 7, Episode 1)

With all due respect to Allison the air huffer, I'm actually the craziest person to ever appear on the show.

^ Ugh! I remember that one very well. Especially the poor brother who the parents forced to take care of her. I hope he eventually managed to escape from that family.

Linda was legit nuts, no? I kind of remember That episode.

At R64, wasn’t Linda’s drug of choice fentanyl in lollipop form? If she’s still on fentanyl, she must be having a ball now with all the fentanyl that’s now available.

Yeah, her parents sacrificed their son’s life, turned him into his sister’s caretaker.