Why do straight men walk out on their families so much?

Fuck off Matt Damon

Because sometimes the burden becomes too much.

Why marry a “burden” then?

I'm not a straight man OP. No idea.

Are you straight? Why are you asking this here?

The burden of what, R2?

Another frau thread. We're not here to discuss the pain of straight families whose dads stray.

You are raised to think your goal is to get married and have children and then you find out it's not all it's cracked up to be.

I dunno OP. Maybe it's because you're a cunt.

Speaking from personal experience, my Dad started cheating on my Mom. His best friend did the same thing and convinced my Dad how great it was to be 'single' again. His best friend left his wife of 10+ years and their twins. My Dad left his wife and 4 kids.

Because of wives like you, OP.

Why does anyone do anything? Younger ass.

Just selfishness. They want sex, not responsibility.

Some of them marry the first girl they ever fucked in HS. It's not until later in their 20s or 30s that they realize they wanna suck cock or shop around for a gal who isn't a fat frau. It's what makes a lot of them resentful of others IMO, blaming them for their lot in life.

because women

Try living with a woman and you will understand and then thank your lucky stars that you're not straight.

Because they think they can always have another family!

Seriously, straight men seem to truly believe, deep in their heart of hearts, that parenting is optional for men and mandatory for women. That if a man decides to dedicate himself to fatherhood he's doing something both marvelous and optional and he deserves endless praise, and if he decides he's done with parenting it was really the mother's job anyway so no big deal.

Straight me?

Biology plays a much greater role in human behavior than we thought since the birth of psychology. The male of all species is wired to take off and spread his seed and that powerful impulse often overrides any sense of loyalty or commitment. Add to that the fact that people often are not happy in their relationships and want another chance at happiness, and you have the perfect storm.

You’d have to guess they don’t love their kids and that’s pretty sad.

Because, "To fuck or not to fuck?"

I firmly believe its because the majority of straight women snap that pussy shut the 2nd they spit out kids. Since most straight men are lousy selfish fucks they figure theyve done their duty so why bother. EVERY single straight guy Ive known with families say the same thing over and over"she dont want to fuck anymore" .Its really no mystery. Dumb ass bitches need to roll over for 2 1/2 minutes,let him have his nut,and move on.

If they're hot, it's because they're secretly gay.

If they're ugly, who cares?

Men are impulsive when their needs aren’t met. Specifically physical ones and time to do things they enjoy (may or may not be related to physical desires).

Because people like you, OP, are the cuntiest cunts of Cuntdom. That's why, OP!

What’s ironic is, when the topic of divorce and parental rights comes up in person or online, many guys chime in with two things: “divorce laws for custody are capricious and arbitrary in this country!! Men’s rights now!” and “women are so cruel and flighty because they file for divorce most of the time!”. Yet, every woman I know who divorced did so because of some shit the husband did. They bailed. They cheated. They slacked.

Some men are horrible and some women are horrible. Many straight men are definitely horrible. It’s genetic I think.

I imagine they feel trapped like an animal

"EVERY single straight guy Ive known with families say the same thing over and over"she dont want to fuck anymore""

From what I've seen of heterosexuals, that's because the average mother of young children is exhausted from working full time and doing at least 90% of the housework and childcare, and angry at her husband as well because he's doing 10% or less of the gruntwork.

And that's why most divorces among straight people are initiated by the women, they're so sick of their husband's shit.

Fuckin Peg Bundy @ R27!!

Better that they walk out than annihilate the entire family.

Because all women ( all straight women anyway) are fuckin nuts 🔩

"family annihilation" is a crazy concept

Like literally crazy

R28 but all they’re serving is ‘toaster leavins’

I think a large percentage of men are poorly equipped emotionally and psychologically to handle the responsibilities and duties of family life, and a big chunk of men are relatively indifferent to parenthood; eventually the stresses become too much and the possibilities of freedom too great. They want the fuck out despite the obvious immorality of what they they want. And another big chunk are immature and narcissistic man babies. There may be some overlap in the Venn diagram circle of these groups. It's not "all about not getting the pussy anymore" as claimed above. I think it's about feeling conned by life, and being emotionally immature and desperate

The elephant in the room is the elephant in the room

I think it was way more common decades ago. Women and kids were tied to their husbands for survival. A woman would be ruined without her husband or having a child out of wedlock. Thankfully, not true anymore

Now, most women work and marriage is waning

I don't know, but I often wish mine had left. He was an egomaniacal narcissistic monster who would frequently torment us. In front of the community, he acted liked superdad, but he was a psychotic prick at home.

Two guys I was friends with in high school were serial daters. They'd have these intense fuckfest love ups with their girlfriends and then some other girl in math class would turn their heads and they'd dump their girlfriend a week before prom. They could never be alone and treated their mothers like shit. They're in their 40s now and have left 2 sets of kids and one of them just had a baby with his latest wife. It's a personality disorder of some kind. I feel bad for the kids

My mom married my dad at 18, she came from a very sheltered religious home and she became a housewife. Now I realize how fortunate she was to have a decent hardworking faithful husband who really loved her. Now that I am an adult I see how things were in the 50's when she got married and back then you often stayed in a bad marriage because you were stuck because you couldn't financially support yourself. Back then businesses and even your own doctor would go to your husband for decisions. I am happy for women today to have more choices, but now unfortunately they are screwed because they work a 40 hour week like their husband but when they get home they still have to take care of the children, cook dinner, do household chores, etc. They actually made more work for themselves.

Maybe it’s because allegedly “playing straight”:male comes to grips with his inner gay after his brood mare wife spits out a couple kids. He can parade his 2 kids in front of his family and whew! That’s over…..

Subsequently,;wife figures out and accepts that “said husband”:has NO SEXUAL DESIRE for her, but faked it for years with drugs and alcohol. Wife accepts sexless marriage . That’s what she’s been taught. Husband rejects and blames her for all of it until he finally leaves.

R39 The majority of the ones who leave are straight men though.

My mom and dad had two couples they were close with, the men left their wives after their mother died. My mom said they didn't have to put on a front for their moms any more.

"Honey, I'm going to the store for some smokes.".....five years ago.

Straight men think they shouldn't have to do any housework, with maybe the exception of their own laundry. Even if the wife makes more money, men won't move on from old fashioned roles. Women get tired of it, and are no longer beaten into submission. They speak up.

I shake my head how some people here drool over straight married men who are lazy in bed and don't have the best hygiene.

R11 Yup. Fresh pussy.

R38, you say women made more work for themselves by joining the workforce.

But weren't many women essentially pushed into the workforce because it became increasingly impossible to survive on just the husband's salary?

Many women are doing regular, basic jobs that are not "dream" jobs or so prestigious that I doubt they would want to do them full-time in addition to raising kids and maintaining a household if they didn't have to. Working is not a example of "more choices" for women if they don't have the option to stay home.

It's true, R46, the average straight man expects his wife to work full time... and treat him as if he were the sole breadwinner.

The question is why do people think marriages will last forever - and even have kids? Women stick around because the kids came out of their vagina and they feel a deep connection and responsibility. Men can never have that same sense of connection and responsibility.

OP, if you continue your love affair with "rough trade", you'll naturally assume that most straight men act like the Stanley Kowalski of your dreams, i.e. banging who they want, getting drunk and walking out.

Cuz other bitches be wantin' mah seed.

I think a lot of straight men just have kids because "you're supposed to". It doesn't mean they don't love them, but plenty of straight men (and women) have kids because "that's what you do".

As gay people, it's not forced on us. But I'm sure we all know childfree straight couples who get looked at like freaks. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT KIDS?"

If I'd been born straight, I'd have gotten snipped as soon as I could afford it

OP, your daddy walked out on your mother because she was a whore and you weren't his.

"But I'm sure we all know childfree straight couples who get looked at like freaks. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT KIDS?""

This is true, I've had this discussion in real life. Gay people and single hets may be pressured to breed by their families, but society at large feels free to constantly pester coupled heterosexuals about when they're having kids.

I apologize, OP.

- R24

Because the girl has nothing to offer? Thinks she can give nothing while expecting everything? Wants $100 spent on her for every dollar she spends on him?

R21 neatly demonstrates the casual misogyny that's taking over DL.

Some truly damaged people post here.

Just ignore it R56. F&F the post.

Because your 300 lbs with cottage cheese thighs.

^ “you’re” I mean

You try living with a woman.

As somebody who has multiple married fwbs. Most married men especially in the 25 to 45 year old age group are stressed out. Additionally at some point their wives will no longer keep trying to be attractive and in addition to that withdrawal from the husband physically and emotionally

I would say the majority of these men love their children with their complete soul but feel constricted by the wife . Additionally the financial burden of supporting a family even in a dual income household is very significant. The men that I interact with look forward to our one the two hour meetings at my place as a time to relax unwind and be sexual to escape their situation.

There's some men that feel overwhelmed by the responsibility and the lack of support of the spouse and their option is to run off.

OP - It's not him, it was you. You got fat and old, and were constantly whining.

Women bond with their children while they are in the womb, while man have to wait until after birth to bond with their kids, and some never really do it. Plus there's a lot less support for parenting these days, both from the state in most countries, and from extended family, most/all of whom may not live anywhere near.

Some women foolishly think that babies keep a man from leaving, which is why they will end up with multiple baby daddies. WRONG and nasty.

They leave because they fell for somebody else, or simply because they are depressed and horrified at the extremely boring and unfulfilling sex life they have with their wives.

A lot of them want to have wives that will constantly hug and kiss them, not just treat them like a bill payer.

It's true, parenting is harder than it used to be, with most families needing two incomes and extended family either being physically distant or on someone's shit list. So today's typical heterosexual mom and dad are both working, struggling to keep up the house along with their careers, struggling to make some quality time with the children, and struggling to keep their relationship alive, and generally failing at some part of that. And each spouse resents the other for not putting more effort into whatever part of that unsustainable model is failing.

The husband generally resents the wife for not making more effort to be attractive and sexy, and the wife generally resents the husband for not making more effort to do his bit with the housework and childcare burdens. Both are correct, but it's the husbands who are failing to realize that if they'd do more of the housework and childcare, the wife would have more time and energy to be sexy, and would be a lot more willing to make the effort because they'd be less angry at a spouse they're now calling "The Nth Child".

The culture supports the idea that parenthood is optional for men but mandatory for women.

Do straight men walk out on their families more than straight women initiate divorce? I think this is a '60s stereotype - "he left his wife for his secretary".

We won't even get into how often gay couples break up, but usually kids aren't involved, which I guess is the point of this thread.

Here's an idea. If women could accept that men like and need sex and don't need to be in love to enjoy sex, then they might understand that a one-night stand, brief fling or hooker experience doesn't mean their husband doesn't love his family. It's stupid to break up a marriage, especially when children are involved, over a non-serious act of infidelity. Look the other way and stay together until the kids are at least in their teens.

[quote] Some women foolishly think that babies keep a man from leaving, which is why they will end up with multiple baby daddies. WRONG and nasty.

A girl once who had my baby to save our relationship. Didn't work. I still won't call my sister.

" It's stupid to break up a marriage, especially when children are involved, over a non-serious act of infidelity. "

Ehmmmmm Women don't have to put up with disrespect and lies, specially when so many women out there get murdered for having affairs, or for even moving on with their lives after divorce.

This is a two way road, and if men want the freedom to have sex outside of marriage, they will have to extend the same courtesy to women.

It's why open relationships exist, but many average folks freak out over the idea.

Young heterosexuals today have zero idea of how hard parenting is when both parents are working, money is tight, extended family isn't giving significant support, and they can't afford any help but basic daycare. They think childcare is all baby gurgles and sunshine, and are SHOCKED to find it's all lost sleep, hard work, endless expenses, and no energy left for a hot sex life.

Dave Barry once recommended that before people become parents they should take custody of a young goat for a week, but I think that to really get the picture they should feed the goad $100 bills.

[quote]I think a large percentage of men are poorly equipped emotionally and psychologically to handle the responsibilities and duties of family life [...]

My aunt's ex walked out on her and their children because one of the kids was severely physically and developmentally disabled. As a parting gift, he told her that if she ever tried to sue him for child support, he would skip town and their kids would never hear from him again.

He knew she wouldn't call his bluff, even though he rarely contacted the kids. Decades later, he called my parents out of the blue one night, drunk and full of regret. He said that he left because he couldn't handle the responsibility of a special needs child. But what kept him away was the guilt he felt afterward. And then, once my aunt remarried, he felt he had no right to show up and pretend to be a father.

My mom was horrified by all of it but my dad said he's heard countless variations of that story over the years from other men. They leave because the responsibility is too much... and because they know they can. Every last one of them knew their estranged wife would pick up the slack.

I used to work at a job where I encountered a lot of disabled adults who were cared for by their families. In 90% of the cases the father was long gone, a few were still cared for by both parents. The only time I saw a disabled adult cared for by the father was when the mother had died young.

Sometimes it's not the lack of a sex life the drives the husband away, sometimes it's a pure failure to live up to responsibilities.

It's not lack of sex. They just want new pussy. Pussy without kids or pussy that only has them on the weekends. Men can walk out and never think about their kids again until they need a kidney. 98% of women just aren't built that way. Except Tucker Carlson's and who could blame her?

It's not just men who walk out, dear...

N——A——G——G——I——N——G

Frau CUNT thread started by a frau CUNT.

Because they weren't straight to begin with, Rose.

Because they can.

And r16 and r67 explain why, perfectly.

R11: Bryan Singer

R50

Defacto has entered the chat

My brother is very wealthy (CEO of a large company). He has two kids and a very sweet wife (stay at home mom). His wife has gained 30-40 pounds, and is insecure about her body so they rarely have sex. She won’t even let him see her naked. He has had multiple affairs, but will never leave her. I think that he feels entitled to multiple women, because he has money. He also told me once (after a few drinks) that his work is his number one priority, and his kids are number two. He said that is his secret to success.

Women should have the attitude that French women take. Their husbands will fool around but will return home.

They might walk out... but not intact.

Stop nagging and quit sagging and let them play with their friends. They don’t mind when you’re off with your yenta hags.

Time apart saves a marriage

[quote]The culture supports the idea that parenthood is optional for men but mandatory for women.

R67, it's hardly just the culture. It's biology and evolution. Women get pregnant and give birth. They're stuck with the kid(s). Men can, and sometimes do, just walk out. Human society has evolved a variety of mechanisms to encourage or force men to stick around because it's better for the children and the larger society if they do, but they are literally (literally!) free in a way that mothers are not.

Not a big fan of r82s brother.

Oh bullshit, R86. If a man brings a child into this world, it's HIS child, and he's as genetically linked and as responsible for it as the mother is.

Not if they can't find him R88.

[quote]Here's an idea. If women could accept that men like and need sex and don't need to be in love to enjoy sex, then they might understand that a one-night stand, brief fling or hooker experience doesn't mean their husband doesn't love his family. It's stupid to break up a marriage, especially when children are involved, over a non-serious act of infidelity. Look the other way and stay together until the kids are at least in their teens.

r68 If men could accept that women need to feel appreciated and emotionally supported in order to get turned on enough to have and enjoy all of the sex that they "need", then they might understand that affair with a man who actually accomplishes this doesn't mean their wives don't love their family. It's stupid to break up a marriage (right after getting violent, of course), especially when children are involved over an innocent act of infidelity. Look the other way and stay together until the kids (one of which isn't even theirs thanks to said affair) are at least in their teens.

Keep that same energy. Just saying. 😒

They walk out because they are married to straight women. It’s either that, or killing themselves, to escape the horrible misery that married straight women bring.

Pussy feels good, until it doesn't.

R11 nailed it

I don't really care why they do it. The older I get the less I care about the comings and goings of straight men whereas when I was younger it's all I cared about.

Cherchez La Femme

Are millennial men still doing this? It sounds like a relic from the past.

R86 That is more or less what I was saying at R63 above. Most mothers (we all know the exceptions, hi Mrs Patsy Ramsey) are deeply bonded with their kids from birth because they already spent 9 months sharing the same body. Fathers won't have that same bond and won't develop it unless they let it happen, which they might not for many different reasons, so when one parent walks away, it's usually the father.

Separately, while gay relationships definitely have their own challenges, one huge advantage they have over straight relationships is that there's a much greater acceptance of a degree of sexual openness. It's really quite striking for me to see the degree of almost pathological fear, anger, and insecurity both straight men and women have over the thought that their partner is or might be getting some outside of the relationship. Not saying it's not hard to be cheated on but both men and women seem to elevate it over all the other things that go wrong in a marriage into the Sin of All Sins.

As someone who has had a lot of fun playing with male couples over the years, those relationships seem a lot healthier, though I think it's important they agree limits and ground rules.

[quote]Not saying it's not hard to be cheated on but both men and women seem to elevate it over all the other things that go wrong in a marriage into the Sin of All Sins.

Because, r97, the risks for both parties are more dire when it comes to cheating in hetero relationships. Women experience more severe consequences from STDs/STIs and men run the risk of unknowingly working their asses off to care for some kids that aren't even theirs.

The dynamics are just different in straight relationships and the consequences can be life-ruining for multiple parties. For example, kids who end up learning their father isn't their biological father later in life can be traumatized. Kids can also be born with STDs that they contract from their mothers.

"Fathers won't have that same bond and won't develop it unless they let it happen"

So, R97, what you are describing is not a lack of natural bonding, but a choice being made by individual straight men.

As I've said upthread, straight men STILL think that parenting is optional for men and mandatory for women. Well, the law in all civilized countries says that isn't so, men are legally and morally obligated to raise the children they spawn, at least financially if they refuse to engage in their parental responsibilities.

I think most of them who walk away and don't look back are driven away by harridan bitch wives whose main mission in life to to make their husband's lives miserable.

"Because, [R97], the risks for both parties are more dire when it comes to cheating in hetero relationships. Women experience more severe consequences from STDs/STIs and men run the risk of unknowingly working their asses off to care for some kids that aren't even theirs."

It's not just that. If we're talking married het parents, women tend to resent cheating more because the opportunities for cheating are not equal, as the women are typically working full-time while doing the vast majority of the housework and childcare, so they just don't have the time and energy to cheat. Hell, they resent that their husbands take a few hours to game or have a beer with the guy, if he spends that free time cheating it's the same deal only worse

And this is just a theory but... If the man cheats and the woman doesn't, and she's still working and doing most of the childcare and housework, what does that make her? The spouses aren't working on the family and marriage as equal partners, they aren't putting themselves through this for love or the illusion of love, because if she's doing all the work and he's getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere, then what is she? She's the nanny or housekeeper, but she isn't getting paid for it, she's actually PAYING! Maybe that's why straight women cling so hard to the illusion of love, or at least try to believe that's why they're doing this.

I agree. Same-sex relationships are much better in general, more equal, with clearer communication, and more reasonable expectations.

[quote] Because, [R97], the risks for both parties are more dire when it comes to cheating in hetero relationships. Women experience more severe consequences from STDs/STIs and men run the risk of unknowingly working their asses off to care for some kids that aren't even theirs.

I see what you're saying to some extent but come on, we've lived through 40 years of the AIDS epidemic, it's not like the potential consequences for gay guys of cheating are minimal.

It's perfectly logical for straight men and women to be upset at the thought of cheating but I still find myself struck by the extent to which they elevate it over ALL other ways to ruin a marriage: emotional coldness and cruelty, emotional abuse, not pulling your weight financially or in terms of domestic work, controlling behaviour and so on.

Plus I remember being at university aged 19 or so (not that long ago) and talking with a similar aged straight guy about what girls he would and would not date, and he said he wouldn't want someone with a body count of more than three because 'I wouldn't like her to be that kind of girl' and I was just inwardly laughing at how absurd that was, but yeah, so many straight guys get these huge mental complexes at the thought of their girl getting other dick even long before they met. A kind of Madonna/whore thing maybe.

[quote] So, [R97], what you are describing is not a lack of natural bonding, but a choice being made by individual straight men.

Well, what i meant was that the experience of going through pregnancy doesn't make that choice for them. So dads have the opportunity to check out, and they often do through laziness, selfishness, or fear, or simple unwillingness to change the way their life has gone up until then, but to some extent you also have to take into account that society still views the man as the default breadwinner, paternal leave is minimal or non-existent in most jurisdictions, and men don't get nearly as much encouragement/pressure to spend time with their kids as women do (I've read so many stories from dads on reddit who try to join parent and toddler groups and basically get side-eyed and shunned by all the mums that are there, and almost treated as weird or suspect for wanting to do that sort of thing).

[quote] Hell, they resent that their husbands take a few hours to game or have a beer with the guy,

Yup, some/many straight women are absolutely brutal about not letting their partners maintain male friendships either. Annoys the f out of me as someone who has lost friends as a result.

The virginity thing is so stupid. Straight men force women to lie just to keep the peace and their ego intact.

Keep him fed and give him some head is really all it takes to keep a man.

That must be why gay men cheat so much. Not getting enough food or sex from their gay partners.

R107 Not enough food? What are they, DLers?

R108 see R106

R104, the reason same women resent that their husband's are taking time to maintain male friendships, is that they themselves are doing all the housework and childcare and have no time for themselves.

They resent husbands taking time to play, because if he spent half that time pitching in, she'd have time to play, too.

OK, but then her efforts should be about achieving a more equitable domestic labour balance, not about objecting to him wanting to maintain a relationship with his friends and/or steering him towards a different group of friends (like the husbands of her friends).

And yes, some women do do this.

Of course straight men are often at fault too for taking their friendships for granted and doing zero maintenance work.

How does one achieve a more equitable labor balance from a partner who doesn't want to contribute? Or rather, why should the partner doing the majority of the work also take on the responsibility of convincing the partner to do his fair share when he is an adult who should be pulling his weight without asking?

These are questions that are at the heart of many divorces in the world

R112 stated in such black and white terms, yes, if nothing will change his mind perhaps divorce is inevitable.

Then again, many/most men and women (especially those raised in more traditional households where women did the household chores) probably have genuinely and sincerely different assessments/viewpoints of how much and what kind of domestic work actually needs to be done.

Yes I do agree with that. The average woman has an entirely different opinion than a straight man about how much work should go into maintaining a house. And what constitutes a clean house, for that mayter.

I suspect that's at the heart of their boring and drama filled fights.

r111 The issue of them going to hang out with their friends would definitely not come up if women felt these men were pulling their weight and not treating their home like a Holiday Inn stay. Bonus if he's consistently giving her orgasms. It's really simple. Help out around the house. Make her cum. Multiple times. It's not complicated. Straight men make it complicated because they're lazy and selfish.

I wasn't aware, until some female friends became mothers, how much bullying and drama is in the mum groups,and its always about this kind of shit: like you sent your kids to bake and buy day at school with shop-bought pastries rather than making your own, you're a bad mum. Or: you send your kids to playgroup three mornings a week even though you don't have to work, you're a bad mum.

So we shouldn't always assume that the female viewpoint on domestic chores is *always* the correct one.

[quote] The issue of them going to hang out with their friends would definitely not come up if women felt these men were pulling their weight

Honestly, not true. Male friendship is systematically societally undervalued, by both men and women, and men are often seen as immature and irresponsible for wanting to maintain pre-marriage and kids friendships.

This is why men are facing a loneliness epidemic on a much bigger scale than women.

r116 "Bitch, you bake it then. I ain't time for all that."

This is why I can't be a mother. I'd immediately get kicked out of mommy groups because of my mouth, lol.

Hetersexuality really is awful, isn't it. It really is amazing any of their relationships last.

^ *got time

Sorry r82 but if she's a housewife to a wealthy man, then I'm sure they have real help. There are no real excuses for her getting fat. What the hell else does she have to do beyond putting the fork down and hitting the gym. She can order in delicious healthy meals if needed.

She sounds like a lazy cow.

Abject misery,

R121, they do have help. They also have active social lives so they eat out a lot, and she drinks a lot of wine. She is middle aged and has had two kids, so it’s probably not easy for her to lose weight. I agree that she has no excuse to not exercise. My brother is naturally thin, and finds time to workout (yoga to meet women) despite working 50 hours weekly.

I asked my brother what his end game was. He seems to think that he can get away with this forever. It’s impossible. He will either get caught in a lie, or one of his side pieces (all younger) will get pissed and tell his wife.

[quote]This is why men are facing a loneliness epidemic on a much bigger scale than women.

Single men are. Statistics show that married men are far happier than their single male counterparts, and single women are far happier than their married female counterparts. Married straight women are lonely and miserable. Single straight men are lonely and miserable.

R121 here, r123 she already knows. Women aren’t stupid, you can’t keep long term affairs secrete, a change in behavior always tips them off to the possibility.

She’s allowing him to think he’s some mastermind going behind her back because it’s path of least resistance and continual stability. In reality, she’s relieved to be exempt from the obligation of fucking and sucking him. She gets all of the benefits of marriage and his back accounts, without the “labor” of sex. She’s told her friends they aren’t fucking, and I’m sure enough reactions from them told her he may be wandering.

She’ll act all surprised when then kids are in college and he finally dumps her ass. If she gained 40 lbs now, how much worse will it get in a decade.

You brother will trade her in for a newer model before he goes out this world feet first. Watch!

They don’t. Home wrecking man stealing hussies lure them with their siren song!

R124

No, the loneliness epidemic is precisely why (or at least one of the reasons why) married men are happier than single men, because at least they have the support of their wives (until death/divorce). But married men have very low levels of support outside the home. Loneliness is endemic amongst men, at least in the western world, and it's a huge health as well as societal problem.

[quote]In similar research carried out last year in Australia by Movember, 70 per cent of men said they didn’t reach out to others because they figured that problems are just part of life and something they had to suck up.

It appears to be their own stupid faults, r127. Men are doing this to themselves because males are socialized to be dead inside robots.

Exhibit A:

Mentally ill trans man tried to ape men, it doesn't work. Fascinating.

Out of interest R128 are you a man or a woman?

What you've just done is a tactic frequently used to shut down debate on men's poor mental health: to claim that all men's problems are 'their own stupid fault' and thus not a subject worth discussing in depth.

Even if male loneliness is mostly 'men's fault' (actually I would agree that it is), the discussion doesn't begin and end there. If you're a man, think about being a part of the solution. If you're a women who resents men, at least don't get in the way and shit on people thinking about how to make the situation better.

They don't protect themselves, end up with a bunch of kids and realize they bit off more than they could chew. Maybe, other circumstances, too. Op, though a lot of men do see it through, though. It ain't no game and that's what I've told the young men in my life. Sad and hurtful to kids if they have them.

R128 Never mind, checked trolldar and this poster is a woman. Why does a discussion about male loneliness upset you so much?

r131 I'm a lesbian, with several younger brothers whom I've witnessed struggle socially. But guess who was the cause of their social struggles? Other males. Men set the social tone for how other men are supposed to behave. It just so happens that tone is self-destructive. Believe me, I am out of the way. But part of resolving a problem is to identify that you may be contributing to your own problems. It's called accountability.

r133 I'm not upset. I'm just blunt. In text, this tends to come off as anger to people for some reason. But no. I'm just a brutally honest person.

R134 Maybe just read the thread? I know men are the prime cause of their own social struggles. I said as much in previous posts, eg

[quote] Male friendship is systematically societally undervalued, by both men and women,

and

[quote]Of course straight men are often at fault too for taking their friendships for granted and doing zero maintenance work.

And yes, it's up first and foremost to men to fix it, but it would also be nice if women would stop trying to shut down these discussions when they happen and at least recognise there's a real problem.

r136 No one is shutting down discussions. In fact, we are actively continuing the discussion. What are you talking about?

Umm, not really:

'Men are lonely, this is a problem'

'Well, it's their own stupid faults'

is not a productive contribution to the discussion.

If you care about men being lonely, maybe think about ways to improve the situation. If you don't care, then why are you even posting in the discussion?

Why precisely do you think your brothers struggle?

This thread is not about male loneliness though. So it's no one's job to come up with solutions to that problem nor refrain from posting in the thread.

r138 Sir, this thread is about straight men leaving their families.

R140 Threads evolve, Mr Hall Monitor. If you don't think what I said was relevant, give your own answer to the original question.

It is actually really not a good thing for straight couples that so many men end up relying on their wife/partner for their sole source of emotional support: it adds another major burden to the woman.

[quote]It is actually really not a good thing for straight couples that so many men end up relying on their wife/partner for their sole source of emotional support:

Except...they literally don't do this. Most straight men emotionally shut themselves off from their female partners. They're more emotionally vulnerable with other men. The only thing honestly stopping straight men from leaving women completely alone is their sexual orientation. Straight men don't like women. They like pussy. Period.

R141 what an arrogant fucking twat you are. YOU have no right to change the subject and then bitch when someone doesn't respond to your liking. Fuck off, cunt.

R142 the research doesn't support that statement at all.

R143 make me.

[quote][R142] the research doesn't support that statement at all.

It does, r144. Now, go play.

[quote] To find out how much bromances mattered, they surveyed 30 heterosexual men who were second-year college students and had been in a relationship before, or were currently. The group was homogenous, to be sure; besides all being straight college students, all but one of the men were white, and all had a sports-related major.

Oh man, to be so condescending and then to post stuff like this..... I salute you.

Please read your articles before you post them, people.

[quote]This is noticeably higher in men, [bold]over half of whom are uncomfortable opening up (52%),[/bold] compared with two in five women (42%).

r147 Practice what you preach.

Exactly. I stated that most men rely on the partner as their primary source of emotional support, and the study confirmed that.

Their wives won't do butt stuff so they have to go downtown after work.

r149 Let us recap this conversation for the sake of your apparent dementia.

You stated that there is "an epidemic of lonely men." I countered with the fact that the trend is only seen in single straight men and that married straight men are happier than married straight women and provided an article explaining this fact.

You then responded that married men have little emotional support outside of the home and posted a link that clearly states men are not opening up by their own choice. You then whined that I pointed out the obvious and later stated that men rely on their female partners for emotional support.

I retorted that they're not actually emotionally vulnerable with women (being an emotional vampire is not vulnerability or connection) and only want women for sex. Their true emotional connections are with other men when they allow them to occur. I posted a link to support this.

You posted a link, again, showing that men are less comfortable being emotionally vulnerable outside of their partners. I once again highlighted that this is their own fault. We have come full circle in this conversation.

The point remains, men are the reason why men don't have more profound emotional connections outside of their partnerships. Keep in mind that you started this by implying it was women's fault for keeping them from their friends when in reality, women only do that when they're neglecting domestic duties. Male loneliness isn't women's fault. It's their own fault. Women don't owe men shit. Emotionally or physically.

Honestly, R151, don't try to be cute with your 'dementia' comments because cute you very much ain't.

Loneliness is not only seen in single straight men: as the research I posted at R144 states, men in general, rather than broken down by relationship status, have smaller support networks and are more likely to have no-one at all than women. Note that studies evaluating 'happiness' cannot be read as a proxy for loneliness: there are many reasons why someone might be happy or unhappy other than their frequency of social contact.

You claimed that men's 'true emotional connections were with other men' but if this is true why do so few of them actually have male friends they can rely on for emotional support? The trend is clear. Men, when they seek emotional support, tend to get it from partners: women tend to get it from friends and family. You don't have anything to back up your claim that men 'only want women for sex'. FYI, lesbian consciousness-raising groups are not necessarily authorities on what men want.

If you think that a study of 30 college students, most/all of whom (being college-aged) are unlikely to have settled down with a life partner anyway, somehow 'proves' that men rely on 'bromances' for emotional support more so that a properly weighted and demographically representative study of thousands of adults, then I really don't know what to say to you.

Finally, I'll state again that I agree that men are mostly (not entirely) at fault here. I have never claimed otherwise. I would love to find a way to help change that about men. But I get that it gives you a little dopamine hit to denounce men for whatever it is you want to denounce them for and project all your unresolved trauma onto male posters here, and I wouldn't want to take that away from you, so please keep on with whatever it is you think you are accomplishing on this site. I'll let you have the last word here ;)

This is the reason marriage was enforced when humans began living in civilizations. In order to ensure the survival of the species, marriage was created to legally bind men to their wives and children. And that's also why adultery was considered a crime punishable by law. And basically if a man impregnated a woman, he would be expected to marry her often with force. And flash forward to today with child support, alimony and DNA testing for paternity.

r152 The 'dementia' quip was referring to the fact that you drifted from the main point of this discussion. This drift started with the nonsense you posted at r111.

[quote]OK, but then her efforts should be about achieving a more equitable domestic labour balance, not about objecting to him wanting to maintain a relationship with his friends and/or steering him towards a different group of friends (like the husbands of her friends).

[quote]And yes, some women do do this.

[quote]Of course straight men are often at fault too for taking their friendships for granted and doing zero maintenance work.

To which I replied at r115:

[quote]The issue of them going to hang out with their friends would definitely not come up if women felt these men were pulling their weight and not treating their home like a Holiday Inn stay. Bonus if he's consistently giving her orgasms. It's really simple. Help out around the house. Make her cum. Multiple times. It's not complicated. Straight men make it complicated because they're lazy and selfish.

To which you responded at r117:

[quote] Honestly, not true. Male friendship is systematically societally undervalued, by both men and women, and men are often seen as immature and irresponsible for wanting to maintain pre-marriage and kids friendships.

[quote][bold]This is why men are facing a loneliness epidemic on a much bigger scale than women.[/bold]

This had absolutely nothing to do with anything that I stated. The point was that you were trying to blame women for men not having male friendships when in reality the only time women get after men for "hanging with their boys" is when they're not helping out at home.

Furthermore, the lack of well-maintained male relationships is 100% the fault of men due to an epidemic of social ineptitude and arrested emotional development of their own creation. Women are not responsible for curing, nor to blame for the existence of, the "loneliness epidemic amongst men." Frankly, women are over being the scapegoats for the shortcomings of men. Thus, you even bringing this into a conversation about why women get fed up with their straight male partners having "grown-ass man playdates" while simultaneously not helping with domestic responsibilities was both myopic and irrelevant.

Yes, some women do this, I know it because I have witnessed it. No, not all, probably not even most. Yes, their partners are at fault for allowing it to happen and yes, this ultimately gets fixed when men decide to fix it. But the fact remains that male friendship is systematically societally devalued (seen as 'irresponsible' and 'immature') in a way in which female friendship isn't. You seem desperate to turn this discussion into an attempt to 'pin blame' 100% on one sex or another, when societal phenomena are complex and deep-rooted. That might fulfill some kind of psychological need for you, but it isn't ultimately all that interesting to me.

r155 It is you who seems desperate to turn this into the fault of the "raging harpy wives" for men not having male friends. And you are doing this solely based on anecdotal evidence. Sounds like a personal problem. I, too, have very little interest in unpacking it further.

If straight men are single and lonely. Blame women.

If straight men don't have male friends when they finally get into a relationship. Blame women.

If straight men walk out on their families. Blame women.

A woman then mentions that men are responsible for their own shortcomings and actions. She's clearly bitter and taking out her trauma on men.

Same score. Different composer.

Whoever constructed the architecture of the social media ecosystem should be held accountable for spawning this mass epidemic of identity-related persecution complexes which society appears to be collapsing under now. OK R157, you'll project onto my posts whatever you want. I hope you accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish here on DL with this stuff.

Men have better friendships than women do. Women's friendships are surface level. Men have lifelong friendships and male soulmates. Women are taught as girls to compete with other girls in terms of popularity, beauty and likeability which leads to envy and resentment. Boys only compete with each other in sports and sexual conquest then as men in income and status which are far less personal matters. Men are direct with each other which allows easier interaction. Men end friendships easily. While women can be passive aggressive and string each other along for years as "besties" while hating each other.

Another thing is women are taught to completely sacrifice for the men in their lives. Take on their last name, their hobbies, their culture, their religion and all that jazz. So women will have less of an individual identity which makes it difficult to find friends. While men rarely do this and can easily keep their old friends and make new friends.

Just my two cents

r158 Bear in mind that this discussion devolved rather quickly when you got in your feelings over my first response to your linked article going on about "male loneliness." You interpreted my response as "shutting down the whole discussion" when that wasn't even the case. You just disliked what I said. If anyone has a "persecution complex" here, it is you.

Women are the scapegoat just like racial minorities and LGBT. It's late stage capitalism and a soulless culture of instant gratification which is responsible for the loneliness in most adults. It all comes round. Economic instability and loss of social culture and structure creates an antisocial and hyper-individualist mindset. Since the 1980s, it's been getting worse.

R160 So if it's 100% men's 'stupid' fault and women owe men nothing, what is the purpose behind your continuing to participate in this discussion, hmmm? Why not just leave the men to it?

r162 You:

[quote]what is the purpose behind your continuing to participate in this discussion, hmmm?

Also you at r136:

[quote]it would also be nice if women would stop trying to shut down these discussions when they happen

Fucking Christ, dude.

The purpose is to get you to shut the fuck up R162 and stop hijacking threads. And to stop throwing a hissy fit when people do engage in discussion with you but you don't happen to like what they say. You're a control freak and a blowhard.

"No, the loneliness epidemic is precisely why (or at least one of the reasons why) married men are happier than single men, because at least they have the support of their wives (until death/divorce)."

So... if on average married men are happier than single men because they now have supportive partners... so why are married women typically less happy than single women? Single women have no partners, supportive or otherwise!

So these statistics would seem to indicate that married men are getting support, but in return they're the opposite of supportive to their wives. So much so, that the women with no partner are significantly happier.

What is the saying… show me a beautiful woman and I will show you a man who is tired of fucking her.

I just read rumors of Justin Verlander cheating on Kate Upton who is a lot of straight men’s fantasy.

Pets for all!

Except that dog fucking professor.

He can have a houseplant

This thread has turned really weird.

Jerking off, gaming, golf, drinking, weed, porn, jerking it

Plenty of women try to double dip and are left for it.

You think she’s bitching now, wait till Debra finds my gay porn stash

The problem is that the gays in here are cocky R168 and want to blame fraus for everything that goes wrong, they are obsessed about defending straight guys.

On the other hand, the fraus ask questions and DON'T want them answered honestly, they want somebody to agree with their rants.

And fraus, we are not the ones you have to convince, the heterosexual guys you marry are the ones to be convinced that they should be around forever, but that demands luck and work.

Straight men who walk out on their familes feel justified because it is the woman's job to raise the kids. Simple as that. Having a family cramps their style of finding new pussy to hit.

The level of misandry in this thread is ironic considering how often DLers are berated for their supposed misogyny.

r174

I can't believe the old queens in this thread, criticizing women for men's faults, but stopping short of what they truly want to say. So go ahead and say it, guys, you know you want to! You're among friends, let it out, so all together now...

"IF I HAD A STRAIGHT MAN, I'D BE SO GOOD TO HIM! I'D PICK UP AFTER HIM AND COOK HIS MEALS AND LOVING WASH HIS UNDIES, AND NEVER SAY AN UNKIND WORD, BECAUSE I'D WORSHIP HIS SMALLEST FART! HOW *DARE* THOSE BITCHES FAIL TO APPRECIATE WHAT THEY HAVE..."

Why are we supposed to be sorry for straight men again? Nobody forced them to have children or get married. They can solve their own problems but unfortunately they rather blame everyone else but themselves.

Because they dislike not being the center of attention when their wives have children.

Stop bumping ancient threads.

[quote]R68 It's stupid to break up a marriage, especially when children are involved, over a non-serious act of infidelity. Look the other way and stay together until the kids are at least in their teens.

And these wives should just keep opening their legs for infected semen to be pumped up them? Women are biologically more susceptible to STDs than males. And the symptoms can be harder to spot in them.

But sure, let hubby pour monkeypox and syphilis straight up your snatch. Happy Anniversary!

[quote]R88 Oh bullshit. If a man brings a child into this world, it's HIS child, and he's as genetically linked and as responsible for it as the mother is.

Maybe look at it this way, to understand: Men can have children out there they don’t even know about. Women cannot.

[quote]R113 most men and women (especially those raised in more traditional households where women did the household chores) probably have genuinely and sincerely different assessments/viewpoints of how much and what kind of domestic work actually needs to be done.

So women should live and raise kids in squalor because husbands (who might change their own underwear every two weeks) are willing to?

I really don’t know it’s a good question. I experienced this with my dad and I know many people who also had dads walk out on them. I wouldn’t get married and start a family if I was unsure about it.

I understand wanting a divorce but the part I’ll never understand is how completely they can abandon their children. A lot of them don’t seem to provide financial support or see their kids. It seems a little sociopathic. .