Worst things to order from a restaurant

The enchitacorito.

[quote] Seafood from anywhere not within a few hours of the coast.

This is an outdated concept due to refrigeration and refrigerated transport.

Most of my life, I've lived near coasts / oceans. Even people that live near the coast will eat previously-frozen seafood. E.g., hamachi (yellowtail fish) from Japan.

If I travel to somewhere landlocked or inland, I will order seafood. Depends on the restaurant.

I don't trust entrees like lasagnas or casseroles which have to be baked for a long time. They can't make it for you fresh and there's always a chance it's been in the fridge for days.

Lasagna especially, I've never had one as good as what I can do at home.

Pasta. It's always slop that is never prepared properly.

[quote]This is an outdated concept due to refrigeration and refrigerated transport.

The issue is less about refrigeration, so much as it is about experience and expertise in both the handling and, more importantly, the preparation.

While you can argue that people are mobile, the reality is that the vast majority of people are not widely traveled and in your average run of the mill restaurant, the "chef" - and I use that term loosely - is not likely to be a trained chef, so much as a cook. Sure, the high end restraurants are going to have better trained chefs. But, the average mid-tier restaurant is not likely to have one.

So, you get less experienced and less expert people handling and cooking the fish in areas where seafood is less commonly eaten and ordered. Regions closer to fishing waters tend to consume more fish.

A burger because they are so easy to make

The 'special' or 'dish of the day'. It's often leftovers or food that's going off that they need to use up.

R4 Pasta's especially bad from pizza joints, which tend to use pizza sauce as marinara. The tomatoes are undercooked and therefore bitter.

Eggs Benedict… rarely prepared correctly, and a bacterial hazard.

R7 only in booger restaurants

R10 Everything will tend to be good in truly good restaurants.

If you're on a late night binge while you're drunk and horney, don't order the cock covered in sauce. It's not what you think it is.

My cousin orders fettuccine Alfredo no matter where it is. Sad.

I try not to go to restaurants with comprehensive menus- it will ensure everything will be uniformly mediocre to bad, Unless it's something like Denny's, for an after surf breakfast.

The corn, of course!

The bland American diner option from any restaurant of a different culture. My last date ordered a club sandwich from an authentic Cuban place and it was a turnoff.

We had a thread like this one the year before Covid hit and it helped me pinpoint where I would go for specific dishes.

I avoided the stray duck in orange sauce item that was boil-in-bag in favor of a place that was known for it’s ginger duck and crispy duck.

Don’t order the Covid Plate

Don't get steak unless you are at a steak house.

Don’t order a hot dog at Georgia’s Hamburgers in LA

[quote] The bland American diner option from any restaurant of a different culture. My last date ordered a club sandwich from an authentic Cuban place and it was a turnoff.

Wow. That would have been disappointing. Your date couldn't even order a Cuban sandwich?

Eggs Benedict is something that I do order at restaurants because it's something I would never make at home.

Exactly my thought, R21! I tried to recommend it but he was oblivious. He asked to go somewhere exotic and then it was like he didn't want to enjoy himself.

R23, I wonder what "exotic" meant, to him.

Polish sausage

Fish

[quote]Pasta's especially bad from pizza joints, which tend to use pizza sauce as marinara

Pizza sauce / marinara are just other words for tomato sauce so that's not surprising. Restaurant pasta just isn't as good. They don't toss it in the sauce long enough and it's always seasoned poorly.

It always surprises me how many restaurants do NOT know how to do even the basics.

I'm more of a breakfast/brunch person and an astonishingly high number of places either don't know how to make potatoes/hashbrowns and/or how to toast an English muffin/toast, or they have a dumb 16 year old doing it who doesn't understand the basics.

Add sunny-side up eggs to the list. They CANNOT be made on a griddle, you have to spoon hot fat over the top to cook them properly. There shouldn't be runny egg white surrounding the yolk. You also don't cook them by putting a lid over them.

Spoon.

Hot fat.

Most desserts, but specifically cake. It's rarely better quality than Pepperidge Farms.

[quote] I'm more of a breakfast/brunch person and an astonishingly high number of places either don't know how to make potatoes/hashbrowns

I agree about potatoes and hash browns. I prefer savory breakfasts to sweet (pancakes, etc.). I went to a one of Lee Anne Wong's (Top Chef) restaurants and ordered hash browns. Frozen (the grated kind)! And not even as good at McDonald's hash brown patties, which I love, actually.

Anyway, I make really good breakfast-type potatoes. Just cubed, pan-fried until brown. Restaurants can't seem to do this.

[quote] Add sunny-side up eggs to the list. They CANNOT be made on a griddle, you have to spoon hot fat over the top to cook them properly.

You can also just put a lid on the egg (whether on the grill or in a frying pan). Put a little bit of water on the pan to create a steam environment that cooks the egg from all directions. That's how I do sunny-side up eggs.

andouillette - because it is vile.

I actually find risotto is never prepared right, even in good restaurants.

I disagree about pasta and seafood. I've had wonderful seafood served to me in Minneapolis or Chicago, for example, that's been flown overnight from the coast (which most fancy restaurants will do).

R30 you, obviously, do not eat at the same restaurants I do.

Paella is often filled with garbage ingredients.

spicy tuna = shitty tuna

Any dish where the "vegetables" are not specified. E.g., "garden vegetable salad" or "pasta primavera" or "stir-fried vegetables." You know it's going to be some kind of boring or mundane vegetable like carrots and celery. Even zucchini is kind of boring, IMO.

It's a bad sign

...if it's not obvious from menu the 2 or 3 main dishes they do well (by their own standards)

...if the menu outliers are not recognizable, or if it's all outliers

With most menus it's easy to discern a few key dishes and flavors that are the signature of the restaurant, and the few dishes added as an afterthought when someone realized the menu was all pork and beef and no chicken or fish, for example.

Usually a menu steers you in the right direction, usually mid-bottom left hand page of two or the top half of a one-pager. The tricky menus are the ones with one of every category, and nothing seems to belong with anything else, like those TGIF big franchise concerns promising something for every taste, all of it in our special sauce.

pancakes if they do not offer maple syrup.

mimosas - they don't use good juice or good bubbly.

Yeah, mimosas ... sounds fancy, but it's swill.

[quote] Repeat Victim Of Runny Egg White

Yes, agree. I'm not usually super picky about how eggs are prepared, but even a basic line cook should be able to make a decent egg, whether it's sunny side up, scrambled, etc.

But so many either don't understand the process or are using bulk liquid eggs - which is gross.

[quote]You can also just put a lid on the egg (whether on the grill or in a frying pan). Put a little bit of water on the pan to create a steam environment that cooks the egg from all directions. That's how I do sunny-side up eggs.

I prefer the classic method so they're cooked properly.

The problem with eggs is that the whites and yolks set up at different temperatures. The yolk sets up faster, i.e., at a lower temperature. Hence, it's really hard to get something like a sunny-side-up egg where the whites are set up and the yolk is still nice and runny. Same with boiled eggs.

By the time the whites are set, the yolk is overcooked (if you like a runny yolk).

R42, not trying to go back and forth, but that's how Jacques Pepin does his sunny-side-up eggs. There's more than one way to do "proper" eggs.

It's easy if you spoon fat over it, R43

I’ve heard ice tea is a crapshoot in that it could be nto so fresh and harbor bacteria. That and they sweeten it sometimes and I don’t drink calories unless they intoxicate me.

Not***

The reason R31 can't find decent breakfast potatoes is because they are very labor intensive. Making them properly takes a long time and a lot of attention and effort, and most places hire one maybe 2 breakfast cooks. This is true even if you use frozen potatoes to start, more so if you were using fresh potatoes. Lots of prep involved. The worst are home fries cooked in the deep fryer. The other sin is when the cook doesn't cook hash browns raw enough and you get pale greasy potato strings.

I’d say if it is just a standard family restaurant, I assume most of it is prepackaged and prepped to some extent before I order.

[quote]The worst are home fries cooked in the deep fryer. The other sin is when the cook doesn't cook hash browns raw enough and you get pale greasy potato strings.

I don't mind deep fried home fries because you don't get undercooked toxic potatoes. The worst is when it feels like you're biting into an apple when you want a fully cooked potato.

I always ask for extra crispy when it comes to fried potatoes, hash browns , et al. No surprises.

Rocky Mountain Oysters (pig balls)

Remind me never to accept a dinner invitation from some of you. Picky eaters ruin the dining experience.

You should never order anything on a menu that's misspelled.

Lamb Fries (pig balls)

Don't invite anyone over for dinner if you can't cook, R53.

[quote]I actually find risotto is never prepared right, even in good restaurants.

Risotto is something you want to make at home. It would cost more than most want to pay to have it made correctly in a restaurant. You can make up some of that cost by adding expensive seafood you can cook separately beforehand, but for basic risotto, or risotto Milanese, stay home and make it yourself. Marcella shows you how to make it, or find a recipe you like on You Tube.

Food.

Fruit salad was always underwhelming order. Fruit is fruit, not much more they can do to make it special

[quote] ... That one plain Jane chicken dish which is always on the menu for unadventurous people.

I usually like the "plain Jane chicken dish" because it's the only chicken on the menu that isn't fried and/or heavily breaded

Chilled grapefruit breakfast appetizer.

Baked Alaska.

Tripe.

I always order the wrong foods in restaurants. And it is true, after the pandemic the food served is inferior in quality but costs more.

[quote] I assume most of it is prepackaged and prepped to some extent before I order.

Oh yeah, of course. Even midlevel restaurants all use Sysco burgers and other similar precooked/precut/frozen items.

[quote]That one plain Jane chicken dish which is always on the menu for unadventurous people.

Where are you eating? Applebees? I have no idea what this refers to.

Steak. It’s so easy to grill at home and costs a fraction of the price. Bone in rib-eye is my favorite.

I went to a family dinner last year to a restaurant we frequented for years. Not only was the food no longer as tasty, I had terrible heartburn later. This pandemic turned everything inside out.

R64: I don't think it's what was intended, but I feel that way about tandoori chicken at Indian places.

Lucky me, R61! I dislike both grapefruit and tripe, and cannot recall seeing Baked Alaska on a menu.

R6/ because you’re probably stuck in the mud and have all of the culture of a 2 yr old

Extreme spice options which are so hot you can't taste the food. I swear, for some people it's about showing off how tough they are instead of enjoying the meal.

Quesadillas are never worth it.

When you get delivery, a drink. Good luck having it get to you.

I grew up in a great seafood area. Here we had oysters in the months that had Rs in their names. The other months, we had crabs. Now we have both all year long. I think the crabs are from Venezuela.

A dish that seems beyond the restaurant's capability.

I ate at a small local restaurant that had beef Bourguignon on the menu. This restaurant was an outgrowth (I think) of a bakery and coffee shop.

The owner / baker / chef was a guy from France and I'd enjoyed other items from this place. So, I thought maybe the BB would be good.

The Beef Bourguignon ... disappointing.

Things like chili or meat sauce because that’s where the old beef goes.

Seafood in a Mexican place unless the locale is known for it

Anything on those big menus that you can tell never gets ordered. It’s frozen.

Agree about the “specials”

Cannibal sandwich

The busboy. All they want is a green card.

Could be anything. When we moved here to West Virginia, I ordered some food from a local restaurant. I ordered a beef sandwich, thinking it would be a real beef sandwich. Chicago style beef with cheese. I got a hamburger on a hoagie bun. When I picked up the order I said WTF, is this? I should have realized all food isn't the same. One thing I do know is the pizza and pasta, suck here. However, there's a local breakfast place that's been in business here for almost 70 yrs and they know how to serve breakfast food, even eggs. The rest is garbage. Lol. I was so clueless.

Sushi from a place which is cheap or doesn't specialize in it. Bad pizza is still pretty good, but bad sushi is revolting. I had an odd-tasting salmon roll once and it put me off all fish for months.

R78 where in WV? Some of the food there is really dire. Although Ohio Valley pizza is OK, I guess.

A few hours from WV/OH but nothing could be worse than Altoona style pizza.....*gags* Not an "interesting culinary delicacy" - this is a Bitch on a Budget.

Of course some of these things can be made better at home, but sometimes you're not AT home. Don't you bitches who say you could do everything better and cheaper than a restaurant chef ever travel?

People don't leave the house and order the chilled grapefruit or fruit salad, people order the chilled grapefruit or fruit salad while they're staying at a hotel and their body is telling them it's tired of all that high-fat restaurant food, and it wants some fruit, dammit!

Haggis. But that's just God-Awful anywhere.

R82 has never tasted haggis.

I feel like total shit tonite. Total shit!!

Spaghetti and Meatballs. They are always inedible when served at a restaurant. (If it was a good meatball, it wouldn't be with red sauce and spaghetti).

Anything made with mayonnaise, especially in warm summer months.

R86 I do not eat at restaurants devoid of refrigeration or AC

Liver & onions

[quote]I feel like total shit tonite. Total shit!!

Well, you are what you eat, R84.

Tell us how you serve your meatballs, r85.

Proper haggis is delicious. But you have to accept offal and its peculiar flavors.

I don't order beef steak, because even at fine steakhouses I know I can do a better job and not rely on a big fist of salt and a quarter-cup of butter.

Salads, in general. Maybe because I make really good salads at home. There's never enough of the good stuff, like crumbled Gorgonzola cheese. The salad dressing is never as good as my homemade salad dressing. The greens are never cut or torn small enough to easily fit into your mouth. When I make salads at home, I take off long stems and cut large leaves into small pieces.

[quote] Spaghetti and Meatballs. They are always inedible when served at a restaurant. (If it was a good meatball, it wouldn't be with red sauce and spaghetti).

R85, are you saying that restaurants serve their "good meatballs" in dishes other than "spaghetti and meatballs"? If so, what dish could you select in order to get a "good meatball"?

I order whatever strikes my fancy and I’m almost always happy. I’m pretty easy to please.

That’s what he said…

R94 let’s get married

Some of you have baby tastes.

R97 you just said that aloud?

I did. What part of that sentence confused you, dear?

Missouri man dies after eating raw oysters and contracting flesh-eating bacteria

R99 oh my. What of my comment made you think I was confused about your juvenile speech. You are begging for a tongue lashing huh?

Never order calamari in a restaurant, because unless you're in Italy, it's not fresh. Mario Batali used to serve a spicy calamari dish but the squid was frozen. No restaurant wants to fuck with fresh squid.

R102 That’s bullshit.

Unless it’s a restaurant I know and trust, I never order salads or have lettuce on a sandwich. Some places, especially chains like Applebees, use a preservative on lettuce that gives me explosive diarrhea an hour or less after eating.

I’d rather get a protein bar and a banana from a gas station than eat at Applebees.

Crêpes Suzette!

^^^ you should have T-shirts made that say that.

You’d make a fortune.

Damn - not a fast enough typer.

My comment was for R104

Egg Salad.

“Some places, especially chains like Applebees, use a preservative on lettuce that gives me explosive diarrhea an hour or less after eating.“

Good to know if you’re ever constipated.

I order calamari at restaurants a lot.

R80 OH DEAR

R110 That snobbish bore above is exaggerating.

R110 I meant to me 2

If you order lasagna from a real Italian restaurant, you should have no problem as they make it fresh every single day. And keep remaking it if it's popular on their menu (like the restaurant I go to).

I would never order Italian from a non-Italian restaurant.

Keep an eye on your local restaurants if you can, and see which ones have that harbinger of doom pull up in the mornings... the Cisco Foods Truck!

If so, nothing is fresh, and it's probably microwaved rather than made to order.

R115…

And the Microsoft grocery delivery!!!

[quote] You are begging for a tongue lashing huh?

Bitch, I'd slap you down and not even break a sweat. Or a nail.

Filet Mignon

The other way round: I mostly order what I cannot cook at home. Wok-dishes or things that are really fussy to make. There are exceptions.

I grew up in CT and NYC Metro region and meatball grinders/heros at the local Italian deli (that you knew was good) were delicious. Sometimes local pizzerias in the 70s and 80s opened humble restaurants and bars in another room. They had good basic Italian American dishes, reasonably priced. These humble places are mostly gone because their kids were not interested. Now you have expensive upscale local Italian eateries and they are hit and miss for quality, though the ambiance can be comforting.

Never ever order any seafood on Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday. Restaurants order fresh seafood on Wednesday (for Wednesday and Thursday) and Friday (for Friday and Saturday). By Sunday, it's leftover from Sunday. By Monday and Tuesday, it's on it's way out - chefs will throw it into another dish (such as pasta) to get rid of it those nights.

I've heard this from a number of servers and kitchen help in restaurants of all price points.

R117 You low rent hooker. Baby tastes?? Baby tastes? Who the fuck talks like that as an adult. And you ridiculed others for their tastes not being as refined as yours. If you are going to be that pretentious at least come across as more sophisticated in publicizing your bitchery. Now go eat your salmon steak with crème bulee. Bitch.

R121 Andrew Bourdain used to say the same shit so I believe you.

R123, Whoever that is.

Gas station sushi

R124 Anthony. You know who I meant I bet.

I trust the restaurants I dine at or I don't go there. But there are places on the road where you're forced to get something to eat. Go to a Chinese place and get rice and steamed vegetables. Have eggs and toast or a grilled cheese sandwich at a diner. At a regular restaurant, get a baked potato and vegetables. Yes, it's boring but food poisoning or acute indigestion is worse.

If nothing else works, buy a Lean Cuisine or Amy's frozen entrée and make it in the hotel microwave.

R127, Eggs can be risky, if not stored properly.

Anything can be risky, if not stored properly.

R129, Only if the item is perishable.

When I go to a diner I am not familiar with, I stick to a Belgian Waffle or pancakes for breakfast. I try to avoid them for lunch and dinner.

Drunk Bangkok Chicken Stuffed with Cream Sauce

When I go to restaurant I save the free bread for a rainy day. And condiments are to never be eaten but stolen when no is looking.

Preservatives on salad greens have been banned in the US since the 1980s, R104.

Having gotten terrible food poisoning TWICE from a place that left stuffed grape leaves sitting out as an enticement to the unwary diner, I have learned to avoid things made with leftover rice, which include fried rice. (A special kind of toxin grows in rice that sits at room temperature, and it is the cause of a very bad kind of food poisoning - bacillius cereum is the spore that causes it and it is often found in uncooked rice).

I would only need food poisoning once to never go back to a restaurant again.

Crème Brûlée during a riot.

The fish of the day. THE GODDAMNED FISH OF THE DAY!

Kinnish

Years ago I worked at a nite club that was connected to a Holiday Inn. We had a huge happy hour 5 nights a week. One of the big draws was homemade fresh guacamole, chips & salsa (there were oysters, ribs, quiche, pizzas, salad ) but the guacamole was a bit. I’ll never forget the night I ran back into the kitchen them to bring out more - I caught 2 barbacks eating the guacamole straight out of the serving bowl with the big serving spoons in their mouths ! BLEEEECHHH - I have never had guacamole at a restaurant again.

R135 is right - rice (and potato) based carbs are a huge source of food poisoning. Culprits include rice and rice noodle dishes left out, potato salad and baked potatoes left in foil jackets and reheated. However, I'd think the lemon juice acidity in stuffed grape leaves would reduce the chances of food poisoning.

Worst things to order from a restaurant?

Food in general.

I have heard so many stories—both first-hand and in countless news articles over the years regarding restaurant kitchen conditions. In fact, I worked in a franchise during my post high school years and some of the things done to food, both intentionally and inadvertently, could be really disgusting.

It doesn’t matter whether a dining establishment is 5-star or a 24-hour greasy spoon. The restaurant business is a dirty business.

Dining out is a calculated risk.

When I worked in an extremely old, checkered, NYC steakhouse, every Thursday night they used to force the waiters to save all the remains of every lobster dinner when the tables were cleared. Everything was to be tossed into a huge kettle near the garbage area, and they used those remains to prepare lobster bisque for Friday's lunch and dinner menu.

R143, that doesn't really bother me. It would be kind of a waste to throw away all of those lobster shells. And I love seafood bisques.

Ass

You like eating strangers' leftovers, R144?

Any ethnic food not made by the right kind of person. Never trust a white person making tacos, Latinos making sushi, etc.

R147 Lol. I love you. Dem Chinese can fry some chicken tho.

R143-By checkered, I'm assuming that tired old warhorse, Smith & Wollensky's?

Pasta from an "upscale" Italian restaurant. The most overpriced menu items in the USA are "fancy pastas".

While pasta is served - and revered - all over Italy, it is hardly considered high brow there. It's comfort/home food, even with the best ingredients possible like truffles and roe and such. (not together)

Ugh. My dear friend will only order a plain grilled chicken breast or a salad at any restaurant. If for some reason those aren't available, he scowls at the server, "I'm not eating!"

R117 has been saying that "babytastes" bullshit for years. He hopes people will be impressed by the crap that he eats. They aren't.

Only a God damned fool would eat something they don't like or that doesn't taste good to them.

Has anyone else heard that restaurant calamari (the round bits) are really pig anus?

I realize that may not be a dealbreaker for some DLers....