Is it offensive to say “gold star gay” and “gold star lesbian?”

Everything is offensive now, OP.

Anybody who gets “offended” by those terms is a moron, and non-morons do not need to go through life censoring themselves so that morons don’t get offended.

I’m not a ‘gold star gay’ by any means and could not imagine that term ever affecting me. ‘Gold star gay’ as a point of pride sounds like being proud of being a virgin until marriage or something

I have never taken this seriously. Anyone who does probably needs to get a hobby.

No - I don't think it is offensive at all OP. Not in the least.

*People who are sexually fluid are not gay - they are bisexual. So that's a moot point.

As for someone who is from a culture where marriage is forced on them - wouldn't they have much bigger problems than worrying about whether they qualify for meaningless gold star gay status because they were forced to marry someone of the opposite sex?

This whole thing sounds totally confected and anyone who gets caught up in imagined "offense" of the term needs much more to keep them busy and focus on in their life.

In my experience, gold star lesbians are undesirable and gold star gay men are flamey

Undesirable to whom, R5?

What a load of garbage R5.

Growing up, gold star gays/lesbians emphatically knew that they were same sex attracted and never experimented with the opposite sex. End of story.

According to R5's posting history - just another nasty slobbering anti-trans troll. R5 is on DL to cause as much shit and division as possible as evidenced by her post in this thread.

R5 appears to be a straight woman. On a gay website...

It's not offensive but it's not like it'd something to brag about. It comes across as some purity test but that's not how life works. Sexuality isn't clear-cut and experimentation is normal. Most gay people don't care if you are "gold star" or not because we understand sexuality better. Straight people though probably have an issue if straights who experimented with the same sex.

I’m not a gold star gay, but I’m not bisexual. I’m gay.

It was college, I was drunk, what can I say? I was experimenting.

And the experiment was a complete failure. I couldn’t even get it published in an academic journal.

Calling one’s self that is pretty cringeworthy.

I don't think it's offensive, just meaningless.

Maybe we shouldn’t use “gold star” to describe one another. I’m definitely not a gold star, I’m a silver star at best. But I only slept with one woman one time. And it wasn’t because I thought I might be straight, and I really wasn’t that curious, I was just really drunk.

I’m not offended by people using the term gold star gay even though I’m not one.

But maybe we could say “five-star gay”. And then I could be a four-star gay.

That’s still a pretty high honor.

I also don’t find it cringe worthy. I’d cringe at something like peerless or unblemished gay. Those both sound really pretentious.

But if being a gold star gay is a thing, what would you have to do to be a platinum gay? What’s the criteria? Is that a gold star gay who has only had sex with other gold star gays? Because if that were the case, I might just be a bronze star gay. ☹️

A platinum star gay is, I believe, a gay who has never been near a vagina even during childbirth (was born via C-section).

I don’t ever want to cause offence, but some people have become hyper vigilant and are determined to take offence, even when it doesn’t affect them directly. We call these people cunts.

I'm a shining star gay. I glow in the dark.

I’ve always said it in a cheeky way to satirize super-straight people who take pride in being zero gay. Personally, I don’t take the label seriously because it’s hardly proof that one has never done heterosex. To paraphrase Spinal Tap, you can’t really “dust” for gold star status.

R9 By straight people you mean straight women? No straight men would care if his girlfriend was fooling around or dating women. Unless he is some ultra religious extreme right wing asshole. And I doubt any bi woman would want anything to do with that type of a guy.

Nobody cares about straight people here R18.

R19 Then why is 90% of threads about straight celebrities?

Celebrities aren't real people, R20.

I’m fifty years old and I haven’t touched a cunt since I crawled out momma’s.

It's one of the last ways that we can carve out a space for ourselves that wont be co-opted by one of the other letters in the rainbow. Queer unity has its place but I also want opportunities to identify and be affiliated with gay men only.

[quote]In my experience, gold star lesbians are undesirable

This is spoken like someone who has never met straight men.

It's a weird thing to be proud of, but it's certainly not offensive.

It's like people who are proud of not knowing something huge from pop culture or having never watched an episode of a particular tv show.

It's not as if it takes any effort or is some sort of accomplishment based on personal excellence. It literally requires that the person does nothing to get that gold star.

But, sure. If that's the extent of your life's accomplishments, be proud.

I’m a platinum star gay!

It's always tongue-in-cheek, but for whatever reason it really seems to trigger the Kinsey 4s and 5s. Why the insecurity? Lighten up a bit.

As far as I can tell, the main people behind the push to end the use of those terms are "lesbian" transwomen, the kind that throw extremely feminine tantrums at any suggestion that some lesbians don't like dick.

Platinum star is someone who never kissed a person of the opposite sex. Not gays born via c section

[quote]I’m a gold star gay but I don’t think I’m better than bi men or gay men who have been with women. It just worked out that way for me - I knew what I wanted from the beginning.

Would you go out with a bi man, OP? Or have you?

R29 then I still qualify unless kissing your own mother goodbye disqualifies me.

R30 No way! If a man ever left me for a woman it would kill me,

[quote] It's not as if it takes any effort or is some sort of accomplishment based on personal excellence. It literally requires that the person does nothing to get that gold star.

Well, nothing except resist all the pressure that society puts on everyone to couple up with an opposite sex partner at an early age, and start pumping out babies as soon as adulthood is reached. I mean, for gay people who were genuinely curious about sex with their non-preferred gender, experimentation is perfectly normal and an act that doesn't have broader connotations. But I think it's a worthwhile distinction from those who'd lie to a partner and fake attraction or interest in order to fit in. I have enough integrity and belief in myself to avoid doing that, even if I did end up being called "faggot" as a kid.

R28 The BTQ+ get extremely aggressive about the term. It's "bi/panphobic", "transphobic", "cisnormative", "exclusionary", "elitist", etc. Interestingly enough they have no problem issuing statements like "I'm a panromantic biaesthetic queerplatonic trans girl looking for a fellow femme-aligned autistic entity to complete our stargender-only body positive polycule. CISGAYS DO NOT INTERACT".

R32 Why would that kill you?

R32, if a man left me for a woman and it turned out he'd been cheating with her before the breakup, it would kill him. Or [italic]something[/italic] would, anyway...

[quote]Nobody cares about straight people here

Of course we do. We contribute to their GoFundMe campaigns, don’t we?

OP sounds like a hand-wringing MARY.

Unfortunately many gays are obsessed with straight men and straight women and do care what they think. The only threads on here consistently about gay men are porn threads and you rarely see any lesbian threads. But what you do see is millions of threads on whether this or that actor is gay, hot straight men who commit crimes or go missing, hot straight men who are influencers, post nudes or webcam, tons of threads on straight female pop stars and celebrities and threads of straight female criminals.

[quote]r39 …what you do see is millions of threads on whether this or that actor is gay, hot straight men who commit crimes or go missing…

Speaking of which, how is Our Chris doing? Has he answered anyone’s letters lately?

R39 There are threads about Brandon Flynn, Froy, Madden, Dylan Geick, Tommy Dorfman, Miles Heizer and Connor Jessup, Colton Haynes, Ben Platt and Noah Galvan, and a lot of other gat celebs.

*gay celebs

R22, women are grateful. You just sound like a low life trash insecure man .

I had vaginal sex with a FTM friend a long time ago.

I'm not sure if that counts against my gold star gay status?

I usually just say I'm a Kinsey 6.

Sometimes I say I'm a Kinsey 8, and let them stew over it...

r44 Here's a hint to your question. Hope it helps.

So now, R34, I'm trying to figure out how a person becomes a Gold Star Pansexual!

I assume it takes only a guy and a gal to be a Gold Star Bisexual, but what would a panseuxual have to do? Cisman, Ciswoman, Transperson? Or do they need to also find a Furry and an Adult Baby, and then start working their way through the produce aisle...

A gold star pansexual only has sex with frying pans.

R47 Being a gold star pansexual sounds exhausting.

Trans are offended because they can't turn the story around to be all about themselves.

Breaking the word offensive is offensive.