Blondie heads to Prison

She’s going to spend the next 11 years with her head buried in some fat murderer’s smelly, hairy pussy.

She couldn't run a comb through her hair?

Interviewed inmates say they cannot wait “to be her friend” once she arrives.

Jen Shah from the Housewives of Salt Lame City is in the same prison.

I hope they end up in rival cliques; I bet Jen is running the show in there now.

Orange is the New Black, the Enron edition.

She's probably grateful not to have to deal with her spawn for the next decade.

I don't get the hatred for this person.

But then I was smart enough not to invest in her hair brained scheme.

She'll get out early

R7 I started reading the book on her deception. What she did was really really bad. She is no different than a crack cocaine dealer. Actually worst because at least they aren’t fraudulent. She manipulated science and could have potentially got people killed.

And OP she duped a national drugstore chain into rolling this out in at least one state. Customers of the drugstore were given false blood test result that had an impact on whether they did or did not seek medical treatment. This was the more serious crime than deceiving VCs and other investors.

She looks joyous going in because it's more of a social club than a prison, really. Much like Trump's former lawyer or that pharma douche bro, she'll be able to accomplish a lot while in there.

Isn't it a not warm for a cashmere cardigan?

I guess a t-shirt wouldn't exude the same status.

^ a bit warm--fucking autocorrect.

It’s gonna be a very long time before another Silicon Valley snot dares to wear a black turtleneck on any day other than Halloween. She should have to pay restitution to Issey Miyake along with the $452M she owes to Rupert Murdoch, Betsy DeVos, and the other rich guys she defrauded.

R11 I heard a lot of the country club prisons for the rich are a myth. Yep the security might be tighter and no male rape but most of the equipment is broken or outdated. The myth stemmed from prisons located on military bases nearby pools, golf courses. But none of the prisoners have access to that.

R14, hilarious. Love you.

r15 Cohen wrote a book and played tennis in the slammer all the time. Many might be a myth, but some really are that outrageous.

R17 Lots of inmates write books. Trust me the tennis balls are deflated and the racquets torn.

Well, now she has time to finish that Stanford degree she was too effing smart to actually attempt. I'm wondering how an orange jumpsuit and a mortarboard would look together.

She can, apparently, use her prison work earnings to buy an MP3 player at the prison commissary.

Which begs the question: What will she put on her iPod?

R20 Criminal by Fiona Apple.

[quote]Orange is the New Black, the Enron edition.

Blondie favors classic black and white parallel lines.

I think this is kind of a country club as far as prisons go. No bars, minimum security, three hots and a cot, complimentary muff-diving sessions...