Let’s be Fire Island Pines

I’m the emotional breakdowns over equity and other keywords that will make the summer exhausting and eliminate all the fun.

I’m this guy having a breakdown in a fire island group on Facebook. Here’s an actual interaction between two POC over an ad for a share booking site:

K: There's no black gay representation in this ad so I will not be utilizing this.

Other user: I unfortunately feel like a lot of guys on the island would actually prefer that 😅

K: I’m literally the cutest person in the world so I don’t what you’re talking about. Also, Black men have been the most desired men since the beginning of humanity so there’s no where that would prefer me not being there… Fire Island is my favorite place in the world and here in one picture are Hispanic, Asian and white gays gushing over me on so if you’ve had issues feeling ignored or unwelcome I’m sorry to hear that but don’t project that onto me because that’s not my reality.

Other: woahhhh people are attracted to you. I guess that completely invalidates any concerns about minority representation or treatment in Fire Island people may have 🤯

K: Did I say that? What I said was don’t project your reality to me or assume we have the same experiences or that people won’t want to see me on fire island because you feel like they wouldn’t want to see you there. Also, there’s no such thing as a minority. People of African descent are the global majority so it seems like you just need to love yourself and live your best life regardless of other peoples opinions because I’m all the representation I need anywhere to have the best time I want and everyone should feel the same. Goodbye.

———

And this drama continues on for paragraphs.

I’m the schlep out there.

I'm microdosing.

I’m overpriced groceries. How are you?

I'm a hurricane starting with K that plans an eventful turn just east of Cape Hatteras.

I’m a little red wagon.

R6 I’m Special K. I’ll help the homosexuals, I mean “Queers”, weather the storm.

I’m the long tangents about how getting people’s pronouns correct is so important, by the Yasss Kween who refers to every gay man as “she” and “her”, whether they like it or not.

I’m the Yassss Kweens.

I’m the Monkeypox resurgence brewing.

I’m the DoxyPEP upon returning to the city, because fucking raw is the only way and randomly taking antibiotics innumerable times a year is really healthy.

I’m a cunt face, just sipping my little straw. Pursed lips, side eye, I’m better than you. Treating other gays like shit makes me feel better about the football jocks who tease me, relentlessly.

"Padam Padam?"

R14

lol u all sound miserable. It’s just a weekend party getaway no? Idk if you need to get so wound up by it. I’ve never been but it looks like fun to me, I was invited out last week but it did seem like a bit of a complicated journey since I could only have gone for one night bc of work.

I'm the "CruiseDis" whenever two men pass each other on the narrow boardwalks.