Have you ever known a cheater who changed?

Nope.

I think a chronic cheater might give it up as they aged. Might. And I’m not talking about going from 25 to 30. Someone in their 50s or 60s might run out of sexual energy or get too old and fat to attract the level of cheating partner they enjoyed in the past and just give up.

There are also people who have cheated once or twice in their lives. If they have done it once, they could do it again. But under the right circumstances almost anyone will cheat.

So, no. Not “genuinely changed” their character. But circumstances can change.

Some people are born without the cheating remorse gene. So many people I've known in the creative arts, though nice people, are cheaters, for ex.

Terminal illness might do it

I cheated once on a sweet boyfriend in college, when I was young and dumb and drunk. It made me feel horrible and dirty, and I never did it again.

It is possible to touch a hot stove once in youth, and feel the burn, and get the message.

Cheating once, yes they may change. A serial cheater however does not change.

No.

Never.

And if they do stop it's only due to fear of blowing up their lives. Once they work up the confidence and believe they won't be caught again, they will do it, again.

That's such a frau question.

Yes and no, OP. It's easier to put the change down as temporary rather than permanent.

Warren Beatty fucked anything with a pulse back in the day. Didn't matter whether he was attached or the partner he was after had another partner of her own, everyone was fair game. He gave it up for a while to have kids with Annette Bening but now, years later, he's back on the prowl and has been for a good long while. People are who they are, they very rarely change. Core sexual behaviors are difficult to alter.

As written above (although I believe the meaning was different) weight gain is the most meaningful way to change cheating habits. Although the behavior morphs, from actual cheating to virtual cheating. Typically cheaters consider this to be an improvement, but same void, need for attention, problems being masked, etc.

Monogamy is not a natural human behavior. Once people figure that out, and are honest about it to everyone involved, life gets much easier.

This is most likely a frau thread.

Are you also r,9, r13?

r9

Nope! R14

Agree with R2 that age might slow down or halt a cheater. My mom dated a guy who was retired from law enforcement (local police). This was someone she had known for a long time, but never dated.

I also used to work in law enforcement and I'm convinced that access to women (who are attracted to the uniform, the position) is a draw for recruitment.

Anyway, before this guy (that my mom dated) retired, he was married and cheated all the time on his wife.

My mom and this retired cop dated for a few years and I don't think he cheated on my mom.

I did on my ex after he touched me. No remorse either. He deserved it.

R18? If you were together with your ex before you cheated, wasn't he supposed to touch you?

Yes, my brother, He was married four times and cheated on each of his wives. Hus cheating ended when he died.

[quote]Monogamy is not a natural human behavior.

Funny, it's completely natural for me. Maybe I'm an alien.

If he cheat WITH you, he will eventually cheat ON you.

Have you ever known a cheater who changed addresses? Yes.

I'd argue there is a difference between a cheater and someone who has cheated.

A cheater cannot change. But, just because you've cheated, it doesn't mean you'll do it again.

I know a couple who fell madly in love around age 30, and one insisted on an open relationship, while as with most open relationship, the other resentfully waited for him to come home - I shall call them Horndog and Doormat.

So Horndog went around telling the whole world about the benefits of an open relationship for years, and would tell Doormat and their friends all about the other people he was fucking. This went on until Doormat finally got sick of it and met another man, and told Horndog all about it, and Horndog was FLOORED!!! And because he was suffering, he realized that Doormat might have been suffering too, and completely rethought his philosophy of relationships. From then on, Horndog shut up about his adventures, which were mostly done while traveling for work, and with time and age he seemed to become a devoted and faithful husband. They're both gone now, but they really were deeply in love, and stayed in love as long as they both lived.

[quote]From then on, Horndog shut up about his adventures, which were mostly done while traveling for work, and with time and age he seemed to become a devoted and faithful husband. They're both gone now, but they really were deeply in love, and stayed in love as long as they both lived.

In no part of your story does it suggest that Horndog actually stopped hooking up with randos, merely that he stopped talking about it.

Also, there is an enormous difference between being in an open relationship (whether one partner truly wanted it or not) and actually cheating where one partner thinks they're monogamous and, more importantly, behaves accordingly, while the other partner hooks up at will.

^^^They were on a break. A BREAK.

[quote] Have you ever known a cheater who changed? I mean, genuinely changed. Do you think it's possible?

Nope, Never, Nada. Don’t believe it, it’s all a pack of lies.

The.only time a serial chester stops is when they are old enough to need a caretaker.

Again, nope. Maybe some old hetero dogs who get older (65+) and start to feel they need "someone to take care of them." Even then, they will usually settle down with someone 15+ years younger than them (if they can.)

"In no part of your story does it suggest that Horndog actually stopped hooking up with randos"

I have no idea what "Horndog" did when he was out of my sight or traveling, we just don't know everything about other humans. All I know is that a mouthy guy with no known filter never said anything about randos or affairs, even when his beloved husband was not around. So while I don't *know*, the indications are that he stopped fucking around.

No such thing, OP

[quote]So while I don't *know*, the indications are that he stopped fucking around.

Or, more likely, he simply stopped talking about it.

There’s no such thing as cheating in the gay community.

Cheaters don’t change, they merely conceal their behaviour more effectively.

[quote] From then on, Horndog shut up about his adventures, which were mostly done while traveling for work, and with time and age he seemed to become a devoted and faithful husband.

Translation: Horndog became old and was no longer able to attract others. Hence, Horndog settled on Doormat.

I dated a coworker who, during the early stages of our relationship, fucked another coworker. Because we were all coworkers, I saw it unfold in front of my face. (Not the fucking, but the attraction, etc.) I was hurt and disgusted and cut off the relationship. I remained professional, though, and we continued to work together.

However, for months, he continued to ask me out. Finally, I relented and he treated me well for about 2 years. During those 2 years, we were almost constantly together and I think he was monogamous with me.

I broke up with him (not due to fucking around) and we went our separate ways.

Years later, he came creeping. He's in a relationship that's on the rocks, blah blah blah.

My point: I don't think he changed. Even if he had been monogamous w/me for 2 years, I think he would inevitably have gone back to his old ways.