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I need your dessert help, bitches!

I'm invited to a family picnic on Memorial Day, and I've been tasked with bringing a dessert. I know nothing about baking, and I'm afraid I'll embarrass myself. I want to bring a dessert that's classy but not too fancy -- something that's fun and simple but is sure to impress. I'm thinking I'll try to make the dessert shown in the video. What do you culinary kings think? Would it be a good choice? 🥧😋

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by Anonymousreply 58May 30, 2023 7:13 PM

That looks fun. I would try it, but I bet no one else would eat it at a gathering. Best to just keep it simple--a nice pound cake, a bowl of fresh washed berries, and maybe some cool whip on the side, so people can build their own strawberry shortcakes. Everyone loves that sort of thing.

by Anonymousreply 1May 26, 2023 9:50 PM

Yes, keep it simple.

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by Anonymousreply 2May 26, 2023 9:51 PM

Strawberry Pretzel Salad. I've never met anyone who didn't like it. I prefer real whipped cream to cool whip.

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by Anonymousreply 3May 26, 2023 9:53 PM

It's a lovely idea, OP, and what a color. So festive. It's ingenious to use Doritos for the crust.

May I suggest something a bit more traditional? Make some old fashioned shortcake (or a poundcake) with a big bowl of macerated strawberries and some whipped cream. Strawberry shortcake is easy to make and everyone likes it.

Of course if the green pie with the Doritos crust is what you have already decided, carry on!

by Anonymousreply 4May 26, 2023 9:54 PM

I had a mountain Zevia this afternoon.

by Anonymousreply 5May 26, 2023 9:58 PM

Everyone loves a fruit crumble. Super easy to make and so damn good. All you need is fruit—any kind but I usually use a mix of strawberries and blueberries, brown sugar, butter and oatmeal and a little flour. There is absolutely no way it goes wrong.

by Anonymousreply 6May 26, 2023 9:59 PM

"Mountain Dew is the best soda ever made." -- OP

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by Anonymousreply 7May 26, 2023 10:00 PM

Mountain Dew and Doritos. OP, are you from a family of pools?

by Anonymousreply 8May 26, 2023 10:05 PM

Send my regards to Honey Boo Boo and the fam OP.

by Anonymousreply 9May 26, 2023 10:07 PM

I watched it, but no. I have become fascinated by terrible recipes lately. They are all over FB. The baked pasta recipes are particularly heinous. They are like the Dr. Pimple Popper of cooking videos.

But this chef has terrible technique. Someone more talented could possibly make something of this. But he’s bad. I love when he “eyeballed” the 2 cups and it turned out to be one cup. He doesn’t know how to pulse on the Cuisanart. His bowls and spoons are too small. The pie does not hold its shape and needed to be chilled. The Dorito on top is a sadly unnecessary adornment and looks chewy.

by Anonymousreply 10May 26, 2023 10:10 PM

What pile of glop. It'll melt and ooze all over at a picnic. Fail.

by Anonymousreply 11May 26, 2023 10:31 PM

Someone must have slipped me an edible because both the Mountain Dew pie and the pretzels and jello dessert seem like they could be fucking delicious.

by Anonymousreply 12May 26, 2023 10:50 PM

Don't forget the sprinkles of Meth on top 🙄

by Anonymousreply 13May 26, 2023 11:04 PM

You bring that horrid concoction to our barbecue over Memorial Day Weekend, OP, and I'll take it outside and deliberately drive my Jeep over it!

by Anonymousreply 14May 27, 2023 3:25 AM

American exceptionalism

by Anonymousreply 15May 27, 2023 3:31 AM

How about a peach or blackberry cobbler or a key lime pie?

by Anonymousreply 16May 27, 2023 3:53 AM

Make a trifle in a big glass bowl and let people serve themselves. Looks spectacular, serves everyone easily, easy to make, you don't have to bring extras like cream or custard, everyone loves them, including kids, and it's easy to keep cool until served.

If you're out to impress, there are recipes online by Michelin starred chefs, and also this British contribution.

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by Anonymousreply 17May 27, 2023 4:34 AM

Make that pistachio pudding , fruit cocktail, mini-marshmallows, cool whip thing, whatever it’s called.

Ambrosia, maybe? No coconut, though, coconut is disgusting.

by Anonymousreply 18May 27, 2023 5:39 AM

Pineapple 🍍 upside down cake

by Anonymousreply 19May 27, 2023 6:41 AM

Grasshopper Pie.

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by Anonymousreply 20May 27, 2023 6:48 AM

That pie looks disgusting., the flavor combination doesn't sound appealing. I wouldn't touch it.

This is rhubarb season in most of the northern half of the US. If any of your friends have some plants in their yard, hit them up. Stalks are sometimes available in grocery stores at this time of year too. There is a simple simple dessert made with just 5 ingredients. It's called rhubarb custard cake. You take a box of yellow cake mix, and make it according to directions. (Almost all brands are identical - three eggs, 1/2 cup of oil, and 1 cup of water). Make the batter according to directions (usually combine ingredients and beat with hand beaters or else whisk it continuously for about 2 minutes. Pour it into a greased 9 X3 baking dish. Chop up about 4-5 stalks of rhubarb. That should be about 4 cups. Pour the chopped up rhubarb over the top of the cake - making sure that it is equally spread over the entire pan. Sprinkle 1 cup of sugar over the rhubarb. Pour 1 1/2 cups of heavy whipping cream over the rhubarb. Put into a preheated 350 degree oven for about one hour. Serve warm. I can't describe the taste and texture, but because rhubarb is very sour, the combination of the sweet ingredients and the cream with it is like eating a rhubarb upside down cake with melted vanilla ice-cream. and will make your mouth sing. The rhubarb sinks to the bottom of the cake and then is enveloped in this rich cooked custard cake. Don't make this just for yourself though, because I'm sure it's about 500 calories a slice! There are a million recipes for this online. I'm just linking one of many. Couldn't be easier. A no-fail dessert.

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by Anonymousreply 21May 27, 2023 9:16 AM

OP I make a fabulous Meyer lemon trifle. You can use regular lemons as it's too early for Meyer's but seriously people go batshit over it.

by Anonymousreply 22May 27, 2023 4:23 PM

Lol I cannot believe the white trash suggestions here. Too funny.

by Anonymousreply 23May 27, 2023 4:24 PM

Just pick up a Hawaiian Punch cake at Pathmark.

by Anonymousreply 24May 27, 2023 4:29 PM

Dollar Store pound cake and a tub of Cool Whip. Add some blueberries and strawberries and you have the perfect treat for all patriotic Americans.

by Anonymousreply 25May 27, 2023 4:38 PM

What's next--Mock Apple Pie (Ritz crackers stand in for the apples) with Cheetos crust?

by Anonymousreply 26May 27, 2023 4:47 PM

The color of the pie isn't anything close to the color of Mountain Dew.

by Anonymousreply 27May 27, 2023 4:49 PM

Y'all stop pickin' on OP! That pie is my fav-o-rite.

by Anonymousreply 28May 27, 2023 5:22 PM

Strawberry trifle. 🍓

No baking needed and it looks and tastes great.

You need the dish to make the layers show though.

I've made this many times and it's always a hit.

My recipe entails:

● 2 pints of strawberries

● 2 lemon loaf pound cakes (you can use regular poundcake instead of lemon)

● 2 tubs of whipped cream (it has to be the tub variety, not canned). Not sure the size but they're the large ones in the freezer section. Make sure to thaw the whipped cream in the fridge overnight

● 2 packets of strawberry glaze that you mix with hot water and sugar as called for on the packet

- Make the glaze, mix in the chopped strawberries into the glaze, set aside.

- Chop the cake into bite sized cubes

- Proceed to layer the whipped cream, the cake pieces, then the assembled strawberries & glaze. Rinse and repeat! You can decorate the top like in the picture.

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by Anonymousreply 29May 27, 2023 5:37 PM

R20, you can now find Oreo crusts pre-made in the baking aisle. Super easy recipe. I mix marshmallow with Cool Whip, then add both Creme de Menthe and Creme de Cocoa. Freeze it and voilá!

by Anonymousreply 30May 27, 2023 5:38 PM

Go buy a cake. No one wants to eat homemade food from what could be a cat hair filled kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 31May 27, 2023 5:40 PM

^^cat piss soaked kitchen

by Anonymousreply 32May 27, 2023 5:44 PM

R21, please.

Choices.

by Anonymousreply 33May 27, 2023 5:47 PM

[quote]● 2 tubs of whipped cream (it has to be the tub variety, not canned). Not sure the size but they're the large ones in the freezer section. Make sure to thaw the whipped cream in the fridge overnight

Hate to break to you, sweetie, but that is NOT "whipped cream."

by Anonymousreply 34May 27, 2023 7:25 PM

[quote]Someone must have slipped me an edible

Braggart.

by Anonymousreply 35May 27, 2023 7:28 PM

Team r1.

by Anonymousreply 36May 27, 2023 7:32 PM

Pancakes Barbara!

by Anonymousreply 37May 27, 2023 7:36 PM

Peach cobbler……mmmmmmmmm!!!

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by Anonymousreply 38May 27, 2023 7:40 PM

R21 This looks great I have rhubarb in my garden - 2 weeks ago made a rhubarb upside-down cake ("gone in 60 seconds")

so now I'll try this rhubarb rightside-up cake. Thanks!

by Anonymousreply 39May 27, 2023 7:47 PM

R34. Cool Whip then. Happy now?

by Anonymousreply 40May 27, 2023 8:19 PM

Why would anyone use cool whip when whipping up some fresh cream couldn't be simpler?

by Anonymousreply 41May 27, 2023 8:27 PM

R39 for you

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by Anonymousreply 42May 27, 2023 8:27 PM

R42 HA! Well, I do supply the neighborhood!

by Anonymousreply 43May 27, 2023 8:56 PM

It's Cool HWIP!

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by Anonymousreply 44May 27, 2023 9:10 PM

I don't know when or how rhubarb became something "dessert"-ish but NO. And I'm not a baby tastes person, so don't even start.

by Anonymousreply 45May 27, 2023 9:16 PM

[quote] Why would anyone use cool whip when whipping up some fresh cream couldn't be simpler?

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by Anonymousreply 46May 27, 2023 11:01 PM

I grew up with my grandma making her grandchildren rhubarb pie because rhubarb (actually a vegetable) was one of the few things that grew in the central plains of her native South Dakota that [italic]could[/italic] be turned into a pie. Otherwise she and her mothers and sisters had to use canned fruits.

It takes quite a lot of sugar to make it palatable.

As for the whole "baby tastes" thing: I wish dataloungers would just ignore that idiotic phrase that a few posters immaturely hurl about. It always reminds me of Buddy Hinton making fun of Cindy Brady.

by Anonymousreply 47May 27, 2023 11:06 PM

What about strawberry/apricot pie?

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by Anonymousreply 48May 27, 2023 11:13 PM

r48: If they don't have that thing in Dublin, I'll probably die!

by Anonymousreply 49May 27, 2023 11:16 PM

Buy a Mud Pie from Baskin-Robbins and be done with it.

by Anonymousreply 50May 28, 2023 6:21 AM

Or an ice cream cake from Baskin-Robbins.

by Anonymousreply 51May 28, 2023 7:30 AM

Hey! Baskin Robbins cakes are really good.

You can’t complain about the taste since you put the flavors you want in it.

by Anonymousreply 52May 28, 2023 10:15 PM

R2 I think that would be a Mountain Doo-Doo Pie.

by Anonymousreply 53May 28, 2023 10:51 PM

My friend says that as children they used to cut rhubarb stalks fresh, dip the end into a handful of sugar and eat it like candy.

So OP all you need is a bowl of sugar and some stalks.

by Anonymousreply 54May 29, 2023 7:22 PM

That sounds kinda awful, R54, and I'm sorry about your friend's childhood. But it reminded me of a very nice after-dinner treat, which is to serve fresh strawberries with the hull still on. When a guest wants one, they roll it in sherry and then brown sugar. I guess you could substitute another form of alcohol, but sherry works really well with the tartness of the strawberries. It won't do for OP's picnic but it's really good.

by Anonymousreply 55May 30, 2023 3:26 PM

That mountain Dew thing looks dreadful.

by Anonymousreply 56May 30, 2023 3:36 PM

r56=Margaret Drysdale

by Anonymousreply 57May 30, 2023 7:04 PM

I make the strawberry pretzel dessert all the time, and yes it's loved by everyone. But, that recipe posted above is the fast way to do it. I guess it would be fine for a novice in the kitchen, but the America's Test Kitchen recipe is much better. It doesn't use Jello powder.

Strawberry Pretzel Salad

INGREDIENTS

6 1/2 oz. pretzel sticks 2 1/4 cups sugar 12 Tbs unsalted butter, melted & cooled 8 oz. cream cheese 1 cup heavy cream 3 lbs. frozen strawberries, thawed (1 lb. sliced) 1/4 tsp salt 4 1/2 tsp unflavored gelatin 1/2 cup cold water

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Spray 13"x9" baking pan with vegetable spray. Pulse pretzels and 1/4 cup sugar in food processor until coarsely ground, about 15 pulses. Add melted butter and pulse until combined, about 10 pulses. Transfer pretzel mixture to prepared pan. Using bottom of measuring cup, press crumbs into bottom of pan. Bake on middle rack at 400° until crust is fragrant and beginning to brown, about 10 minutes, rotating pan halfway through baking. Place crust in the refrigerator until completely cool.

2. In mixer with whisk attachment whip cream cheese and 1/2 cup sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Increase speed to medium-high and, with mixer still running, slowly add cream in steady stream. Continue to whip until soft peaks form, scraping down bowl as needed, about 1 minute longer. Spread whipped cream cheese mixture evenly over cooled crust. Cover and refrigerate until set, about 30 minutes.

3. Process 2 lbs. strawberries in a food processor until pureed, about 30 seconds. Using a large spoon push mixture through fine-mesh strainer into a medium saucepan. Add remaining 1 1/2 cups sugar and salt to strawberry puree and cook over medium-high heat, whisking occasionally, until bubbles begin to appear around sides of pan and sugar is dissolved, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat.

4. Sprinkle gelatin over 1/2 cup cold water in large bowl and let sit about 5 minutes until gelatin softens. Whisk strawberry puree into gelatin. Slice remaining strawberries and stir into strawberry-gelatin mixture. Refrigerate until gelatin thickens slightly and starts to cling to sides of bowl, about 30 minutes. Carefully pour gelatin mixture evenly over whipped cream cheese layer. Refrigerate at least 4 hours to allow gelatin to set, or up to 24 hours.

by Anonymousreply 58May 30, 2023 7:13 PM
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