I was born incredibly unfortunate-looking.

Throw yourself off a cliff a rid the world of your hideous visage.

$$$$$$$$$

Get a really good plastic surgeon.

Andy, start with fixing the wonky eye.

Have you tried being rich and hung?

Paper bag over your head

Bluntly, having a great body washes away a lot of sins in the gay world.

While you can't do much about your face, you can do something about your body.

From what I understand, here in America multiple guns can solve multiple problems

Elizabeth Green, the "Stork Woman," had no real disability, but merely exaggerated her worst and most unusual features for entertainment and financial gain. She is an aspiration.

Hang a sign on yourself that says “Too ugly to live”.

Go live in a bell tower?

If you are a well-endowed top, you‘ll be fine, OP.

Pics please.

T.I.A.

I think R7 and Dutchie @ R12 are right but I do feel your pain, OP. I'm in the same boat. My skin condition/disfigurement caused me to be referred to an eminent dermatologist who said I'm in the most severe 1% of patients she's seen in her decades-long career.

I’m great looking so I can’t really offer any advice

R13 can't, too ugly

Even the ugliest people can be hot if they have a great body. If you have a hefty peen, even better.

I was born incredibly fortunate-looking. Life is about experiences, not the way you and others perceive your facial structure. Have fun. Try new things. Just don't look in the mirror.

low lighting

Wear a wide-brimmed hat and a veil.

OP They have a new app...you can aim it at your face and it kind of focuses in (like phones do with QR Codes). It reads your face and the lighting you are in and then it showers you in a filter that improved your appearance. Basically, you can walk around in real life looking like you can on social media after using filters. It still has some problems when you move from well lit/bright to shade, but it is generally excellent. It's in the app store.

Lose weight and workout. Develop a great body.

Dress well. Develop a personal style that is affordable, accessible to you, and flattering.

Develop extremely good social skills; politeness, charm, wit, and good graces. Prioritize this. They can be learned.

If you do these three things well, few people will find you unattractive.

One more thing: get good haircuts--very good haircuts--pay good money for this if necessary. If your hair isn't great, wear hats. Discover a signature hat that works for your face/style and make it a trademark look. Don't worry, with your charming personality, fashionable new style and rocking body, you can pull off a hat.

Consider a career in radio

$$$$ or a big dick

I'm not going to argue with R22 - the advice is solid, actionable and realistic. But the bit about "few people will find you unattractive" -- just look at all the shit Colton Underwood's new publicity stunt/husband's perfectly average looks have gotten on that thread and perhaps every one of those "few people" are here on DL. I know it is really more about the attention whoring, but still - people can be harsh about looks. Consider it an asshole filter and move on from the.

I will second R22's advice about spending money on great haircuts if you have good hair -- I'm lucky enough to have a thick full head of hair well into my 50's and I've always paid between 60 - 100 dollars per cut (plus tip) and it is totally worth the money - I get compliments about my hair quite often. Along with your body it is something you do have some control over.

Also - even good looking people sometimes get turned down, you never know who will find you attractive or just meh -- in the end it's a numbers game for everyone except the most stunning.

R22 And don't forget about giving young people pens for graduation gifts.

Develop an interesting personality to offset

A money clip is also good R27. Very modern.

Wear very expensive lip gloss at the glory hole.

OP, wear something preposterous and perhaps you’ll become a celebrity.

Defacto shitpost

Oh that's who OP is R31! I couldn't put my finger on it. It all makes sense now.

R27, the advice I gave at R22 is timeless. Not sure what joke you were trying to make, but I argued against gifting pens in that thread.

Full disclosure: I've never had OP's problem. Quite the opposite, and I know I'm bragging here. But the point is, many guys have caught my interest by using the tactics I outlined above, and I only realized they were tactics after the fact. I only realized they weren't actually good looking after the fact, either. Good looking guys are actually a dime a dozen. Guys with real class and charm, though, are diamonds in the rough.

You think you have problems with how you were born, OP? Well, I was born in the wagon of a traveling show.

Develop a personality.

Do you have friends? If so, that’s more important than looks.

Can you get in a minor accident involving your face that requires a full reconstruction that can be covered by insurance?

Much of the advice above is valid (ignore the snark) IMO. Also, become a good lover, know what arouses you and use that to discover what arouses others. Being great in the sack often has nothing to do with looks or a big dick or a yum-yum body. If you send a guy to heaven and back, he'll be back for more.

And yet you rose nonetheless to become Queen of the United Kingdom, Your Majesty OP.

Meanwhile, the genuinely pretty one is six feet under on an island on a pond at Althorp. Just goes to show ya.

Learn to live with it. That's what I did.

Isn’t the question, how do we deal?

Develop a self-deprecating yet haughty sense of humor.

OP, buy high quality classic clothing, and always dress well. Wear excellently made shoes; you can find them on sale. You could whiten your teeth, plus have manicures and pedicures.

Call me.

R38 i appreciate your thinking outside the box

I love to fuck ugly guys. They're always so grateful.

Do you look like this? Do you have spend hours every single day in the tub scrubbing off your skin and moisturizing? If you don't then you're not that bad.

If you weren't born like this I don't feel sorry for you.

Glenn dear, why don't you just pick up the phone and try to get someone to scrape some money together and make another movie with you in it?

Upgrade your skincare routine, moisturize and sunblock. Get a good haircut. Exercise. See a dentist.

ya don't say

I was molested.

You already know this, but there are people who photograph poorly, can check maybe two of the 10 most desireable boxes, and truly aren't much to look at but for other reasons they're attractive anyway. They have either personal magnetism, or their voices are so nice, or they seem kind, intelligent, etc. You should get it out of your head that you don't look good . . . working out & taking care of your complexion & dressing suitably do help, but the absence of self-consciousness is gonna do you wonders.

I was born in a crossfire hurricane.

Always look at the camera when you take a selfie, don't look at your image.

I would advise not to take selfies at all, R56 - they distort the image, I believe.

You cope by not depressing us with your tragic face OP.

Learn to be lonely.

Learn how to love life that is lived alone.

Work on all the things that you can change. If you tell yourself that looking like a movie star is the precondition to happiness, all you’ve done is create the perfect excuse to sit and rot.

Rescue is not coming. You have to do it all yourself. Empower yourself to the extent you can — walking is GREAT — and it wouldn’t hurt to volunteer somewhere. You might find yourself increasing in compassion for other people, and that’s a very attractive quality.