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People who just don't reply to emails, VM or texts

Is it just me? I'm astounded by the number of people--friend, family, colleagues--who just never reply to messages.

It's infuriating.

by Anonymousreply 69May 26, 2023 5:12 PM


by Anonymousreply 1May 25, 2023 12:23 AM

People I know get one chance for this. You don't reply to me? You will never hear from me again.

by Anonymousreply 2May 25, 2023 12:27 AM

If someone doesn't reply to you, they do not want to be your friend. They do not value you as a family member. You provide nothing to them as a coworker. Never reply to them.

by Anonymousreply 3May 25, 2023 12:28 AM

They’re busy

by Anonymousreply 4May 25, 2023 12:54 AM

Can’t you take a hint?

by Anonymousreply 5May 25, 2023 1:00 AM

R4, people make time for people who are important to them.

by Anonymousreply 6May 25, 2023 1:01 AM

is this considered ghosting? Or is that only when you know you will never see or hear from them again?

by Anonymousreply 7May 25, 2023 1:10 AM

I’m with R2…off my list

by Anonymousreply 8May 25, 2023 1:12 AM

Too many people send random texts: I don't bother to respond to those.

by Anonymousreply 9May 25, 2023 1:15 AM

I don’t respond if it’s generic (hope to see you there!) or trying to boss me around (be sure to …). They get the message - sometimes no response is the response.

by Anonymousreply 10May 25, 2023 1:16 AM

I hate receiving texts with links. They're usually about things I'm not interested in, and I hate accessing youtube on my phone in particular. And usually, I'm not going to bother looking something up on my laptop. Email is fine.

by Anonymousreply 11May 25, 2023 1:19 AM

I don't reply when a colleague at work say, "Hi".

WTF? If you need something, state it outright and stop wasting time.

by Anonymousreply 12May 25, 2023 1:22 AM

I never want to hear any of you who don’t respond to texts you deem worthless complain about being lonely or having a lack of friends.

by Anonymousreply 13May 25, 2023 1:22 AM

R13 Ok, you won't

by Anonymousreply 14May 25, 2023 1:24 AM

[quote]I don't reply when a colleague at work say, "Hi".

That's one of the oddest things I've ever heard.

by Anonymousreply 15May 25, 2023 1:32 AM

R15, this is one of the oddest places you’ll ever visit.

by Anonymousreply 16May 25, 2023 1:33 AM

[quote]I don't reply when a colleague at work say, "Hi".

And also, "oh, dear!"

Do you reply when a colleague at work [bold]says[/bold] "Hi."

by Anonymousreply 17May 25, 2023 1:41 AM

Punch and delete

by Anonymousreply 18May 25, 2023 2:22 AM

R17 he probably does not.

DL is fertile ground for those with social phobia

by Anonymousreply 19May 25, 2023 3:09 PM

OP torments his friends and family with banal chit chat!

by Anonymousreply 20May 25, 2023 3:15 PM

I've started to do this myself to people since it's become so rampant. It's not in my nature though. But I WILL tit for tat.

by Anonymousreply 21May 25, 2023 3:28 PM

Did somebody say something?

by Anonymousreply 22May 25, 2023 3:29 PM

They have a life, OP.

by Anonymousreply 23May 25, 2023 3:34 PM

I do believe that some people get a lot of texts, and sometimes open them when they're in the middle of something and then since it no longer looks like a "new" text, it gets lost in a sea of texts. Not an excuse, just an explanation.

by Anonymousreply 24May 25, 2023 3:36 PM

People who leave multiple VMs, emails AND texts are the devil's right hand.

People who leave VMs period, are annoying. I hate VM and either have voice transcription deal with it for me and read it, or I won't listen to it. VM is antiquated.

People who leave VMs saying "Call me" when that could have been a text, you're pissing me off. Call ME you MFer if you want to talk, I didn't see my phone ring!

I respond to most texts if they aren't group, randos or some You Tube.

Emails when it should have been a text: you're walking on thin ice. Email is for more complicated matters, the most warrant a phone call.

by Anonymousreply 25May 25, 2023 3:54 PM

I have VM switched off, have for the past 25 years. If I don't answer your call I'm not going to listen to Voicemail.

by Anonymousreply 26May 25, 2023 4:00 PM

I have an annoying neighbor that texts me to complain about other neighbors and I just started to ignore her because I just can't stand her anymore. I was kind to her once and she took advantage. Now she can text out complaints about me

by Anonymousreply 27May 25, 2023 4:20 PM

[quote] 'Beware of writing to me. I always answer . . . my father spent the last 20 years of his life writing letters. If someone thanked him for a present, he thanked them for thanking him and there was no end to the exchange but death.' -- Evelyn Waugh, letter to Diana Mosley

Over time I learn the communication habits of my friends and don't take things too personally. Different people have different modes of communication and keeping up with others. Adjust your expectations...or don't.

My husband is so social it requires a high degree of luck to catch him when he is still and available and in the mood to chat or swap messages. He can go weeks barely checking for anything that leaps out as important or interesting, deleting thousands of texts and calls on various media. His cleverer friends and family learn that to go through me may improve their chances of a response (or not); and I have to avoid being too very helpful or they will plague me to reach him, my phone emitting buzzing and beeping constantly.

He's an excellent friend but he can't be an excellent friend to a few thousand people every hour of the day and so he has an unintentionally brutal and imperfect triage system. He might respond immediately that he'd love to go to meet you right now for drinks, or he might miss seeing old friends from continents away have were in town but he didn't read their messages until weeks after they were back home.

Everyone is different in his expectations and style of responding to messages. It's not always a Victorian cut direct to not have an immediate reply to your message.

by Anonymousreply 28May 25, 2023 4:25 PM

R25 is satanic

by Anonymousreply 29May 25, 2023 4:27 PM

R28's husband sounds like he's lucky he HAS any friends.

by Anonymousreply 30May 25, 2023 4:28 PM
by Anonymousreply 31May 25, 2023 4:28 PM

R29 thank you? LOL

Everyone who knows me at least a little knows this about me. It's not a surprise.

by Anonymousreply 32May 25, 2023 4:30 PM

[quote] Emails when it should have been a text

If something's not urgent, I prefer emails to texts, both as a receiver and sender.

by Anonymousreply 33May 25, 2023 4:32 PM

I’m with R25

by Anonymousreply 34May 25, 2023 4:36 PM

I'm going deaf and my speech is not as clear as it used to be, so for business, I prefer to send/receive emails so there is a history in writing, and I both understand what's being said, and don't mis-speak.

by Anonymousreply 35May 25, 2023 4:36 PM

Perhaps they haven't seen the email or text?

by Anonymousreply 36May 25, 2023 4:41 PM

R35 I'm not deaf but I always appreciate that too.

Plus customer service reps lie.

I always try to communicate in writing.

by Anonymousreply 37May 25, 2023 4:41 PM

I lived with and rented a room with an old woman before I met my husband, and she tried to fuck me over rather than give me my deposit back when I moved out. I said,

“You ruined a perfectly good friendship. THIS is why all your friends let your call go to voicemail rather than pick up!”

by Anonymousreply 38May 25, 2023 4:42 PM

If you indeed said that r38 you’re a complete flop

by Anonymousreply 39May 25, 2023 4:45 PM

I have a work friend whom I have not seen in person since the pandemic struck. We have texted etc but no long phone chats or hangouts. She has asked 2x to hang out , I made excuses she is not getting the hint. She sent me what's app msg since Easter. I am scared to check it because she will see I read it and have not responded..

by Anonymousreply 40May 25, 2023 4:45 PM

R39, I let her off easy because I still had stuff in the apartment to move out. My now husband already had already gave it to her double barrel in the lobby and she wouldn’t let him back up to help me move out! Lol

She said she felt “unsafe” letting him back up, and I didn’t want to have to spend another $400 to reschedule moving if she kept me out as well.

by Anonymousreply 41May 25, 2023 4:49 PM

[quote] People who leave VMs saying "Call me" when that could have been a text, you're pissing me off. Call ME you MFer if you want to talk, I didn't see my phone ring!

First, they DID call you. Second, they left a voicemail to ask you to call back when it’s convenient for you. Why should they follow up with a text?

So many rage-aholics here.

by Anonymousreply 42May 25, 2023 5:22 PM

Think of what you asked the person and multiply that by 10. You are not the only person in their orbit. If they have kids multiply by 20.

Texts can seem friendly and casual but are also pretty invasive:

I know you see me. Everyone checks their phone all day

I won’t be a lame email and wait for my turn in an inbox

Whatever you are doing now should be interrupted so you can think about what I’m thinking about

by Anonymousreply 43May 25, 2023 5:42 PM

Take the hint?

by Anonymousreply 44May 25, 2023 5:45 PM

People are getting pretty burned out and forgetful with 40 different alerts all day: for meetings, Dr confirmations, payment alerts, bills, family logistics, etc.

As I have been writing this Trip Advisor just flashed on my screen asking me if I’m interested in a hotel I searched once 3 days ago. A family member texted with a question, a NYT alert will prob go offer with news that isn’t thrilling, an email or 3 will have come in.

Sometimes people have other pressing issues or need to tune out, and it’s not personal.

by Anonymousreply 45May 25, 2023 5:45 PM

You can turn off a lot of those alerts.

by Anonymousreply 46May 25, 2023 5:49 PM

[quote] You can turn off a lot of those alerts.

Of course you can. And you should, especially for dumb things like trip advisor.

by Anonymousreply 47May 25, 2023 6:24 PM

[quote]Everyone checks their phone all day.

I don't. And the only sound I hear is my alarm. I have all the other shit turned off. I'll get to it when I get to it.

by Anonymousreply 48May 25, 2023 8:47 PM

“a few thousand people every hour of the day…”

Jesus, R28. Is your husband an exceptionally high-volume prostitution whore?

by Anonymousreply 49May 25, 2023 8:54 PM

R47 R46 Yes I can turn off alerts that I don’t want. I want NYT and I downloaded Trip Advisor to look something up and forgot to delete it. The point is tech stalks us and adds to the general noise.

by Anonymousreply 50May 25, 2023 9:05 PM

When my oldest sister, an avid Facebooker started forwarding those "inspirational beach/words/sea" memes I had to shut her down. I asked her not to send those as the links are not trustworthy. She stayed stopped replying altogether. Oh, well.

by Anonymousreply 51May 25, 2023 9:47 PM

I hate getting audible text notifications while I’m sleeping. I often turn them off prior to going to bed but sometimes forget then at let’s say 2 am. FedEx sends a text that I have a package arriving later in the day.

by Anonymousreply 52May 25, 2023 9:57 PM

[quote] Yes I can turn off alerts that I don’t want. I want NYT

I wouldn't want NYT alerts.

by Anonymousreply 53May 25, 2023 10:19 PM

I'm guessing some of you are ancient eldergays that press "Allow" on every popup request you get from any and every website.

by Anonymousreply 54May 25, 2023 10:20 PM

r54 That doesn't even make sense.

by Anonymousreply 55May 25, 2023 10:26 PM

That's funny, they always reply to mine, OP.

by Anonymousreply 56May 25, 2023 10:29 PM

R56 is that because you put out?

by Anonymousreply 57May 25, 2023 10:31 PM

R54 How could it not make sense?

Many sites ask you for permission to send you alerts and notifications when you're on the site. You have two choices, block or allow. (Or ultimately, block those messages all together, though some will still get through.)

by Anonymousreply 58May 25, 2023 10:33 PM

Oh hon. It's not other people, it's you.

by Anonymousreply 59May 25, 2023 10:41 PM

What doesn't make sense, r58, is your assumption that because I'm older—and I am!—that I would consistently press "allow" rather than "block." That shit lives in your ageist cunting mind. It has nothing to do with what I do on the internet.

Maybe you'll become more intelligent when you're out of grammar school.

And I was r55, not r54, double-dumbass.

by Anonymousreply 60May 25, 2023 10:42 PM

R60 You're yelling at two different posters.


by Anonymousreply 61May 25, 2023 10:51 PM

They're just not into you, OP.

Any of them.


by Anonymousreply 62May 25, 2023 10:59 PM

R38 Wow, I bet she had a hard time recovering from that scathing takedown.

by Anonymousreply 63May 26, 2023 11:57 AM

Kids, stop arguing. We're almost there.

by Anonymousreply 64May 26, 2023 12:00 PM

The worst friends are those who send machine gun multiple texts instead of combining into one or two longer texts. A friend of mine will spend 15 minutes sending dozens of texts in that time frame when it all could have been consolidated into a long text or a phone call.

by Anonymousreply 65May 26, 2023 12:01 PM

No one calls back a telemarketer, dear.

by Anonymousreply 66May 26, 2023 12:01 PM

R66 take your dementia meds

by Anonymousreply 67May 26, 2023 12:04 PM

I detest excessive digital intrusions and have a fairly low bar for what I consider intrusive.

by Anonymousreply 68May 26, 2023 2:43 PM

R68 I’m sure it’s mutual

by Anonymousreply 69May 26, 2023 5:12 PM
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