Are lesbians more supportive of gay men, than vice-versa?

Lesbians were there for gay men during AIDS, and they deserve unending respect and love for that.

Based on my limited observation, I say true.

False

False now, maybe, R3. Not when AIDS hit.

I don't see any sign that gay men are particularly supportive of gay women.

I get the impression that a lot of men, gay and straight, get the impression that we hate men thanks to radical feminism and "political lesbianism." Whereas gay men are, stereotypically, known to diva worship famous female celebrities. Obviously, this is false. But maybe gay men erroneously think we hate them because they're men.

Just my .02.

I don't think that, R6.

Where's Elder Lez?

Also, OP, I assume we're talking real lesbians, not the women who have suddenly proclaimed themselves lesbian for cynical publicity purposes or because it makes them feel special in the sociopolitical scheme of things. (I feel as if I see a lot of those these days.)

I'm talking lesbians from the get-go, those who are lesbian even when it's hard, because it means being under attack or not getting a job you deserve or having a guy in a pick-up truck scream at you while you walk down the street: "DYKE!"

Those lesbians.

We definitely need to hear from Lipstick Lesbian and ElderLez. Quickly!

Lesbians nursed gay men through AIDS.

Thanks, lesbians!

That’s been my experience

True

Hi, R9. Well, this is a complex question. I've met gay men who absolutely hated women, and so they hated lesbians, too, seeing as lesbians are women. I don't think they were like that because they were [italics] gay men [/italics] , but simply because they were misogynistic men.

Now consider non-misogynistic gay men - I see that, often, even they have a hard time being supportive of lesbians, simply because they're under the (false) impression that our lives are easier than theirs. I'll elaborate: an astounding number of gay men think, for example, that two gay men holding hands out in the street are at a much higher risk of violence than two lesbians doing the same. That is, of course, not true, as lesbians are women, so they're physically weaker, and constantly harassed. I have personally been followed, physically threatened and verbally insulted just for existing out there while lesbian - this happens to straight women as well, but we have it worse due to the 'lesbian' part (straight men think that women are inferior beings, and, for them, lesbians are at an even lower level: since they can't have us, they see no use for us, and what does one do with useless trash? One throws it away, or destroys it).

Another thing lots of gay men assume is that it is much more acceptable for a lesbian woman to be out at work than it is for a gay man, and that is just not true. I've been ostracized, overlooked for promotions, blatantly disrespected and treated like a child by people at work. The thinking behind the latter is "Oh, she doesn't take penis / date men, so she must be emotionally stunted or delayed, not normal / not a real woman at all; she doesn't need to be in the meeting". I got a whole lot of that as a young worker, in my late teens and in my twenties, and until I was well past age 25. The gay men, on the other hand, weren't considered to be stunted or childish, so they wouldn't be subjected to the sort of absolute dismissal that I had to endure, and so on and so forth.

With all of that said, to me it is very clear that lesbians are, in general, more supportive of gay men than vice-versa. They just don't see what we go through, and even when we tell them, they have difficulty understanding and accepting the proposition. E.g. one of my best friends is a gay man, we love each other like siblings, and he had the hardest time believing certain things until he saw them happen with his own two eyes. I had been telling him for the longest time that it is HARD to be an out lesbian woman in Brazilian academia; he didn't believe it until I became a professor (he's a professor, too) and witnessed the bigotry in our work environment in real time (I don't feel comfortable detailing here what happened).

TL;DR: I think lesbians, being women, and thus having a tendency to be more empathetic, are generally more supportive of gay men than vice-versa, considering that gay men are also often unaware of just how hard we have it.

I fail to understand how I fucked up the formatting above (italics), but I'm too tired to speculate. Sorry.

Lol R13/R14.

No space between the coding and your word. ]word[

^and HE witnessed the bigotry in our work environment in real time (my friend witnessed it).

Thank you, R15. I'm beat, I can barely see what I'm doing.

r13/r14 It's actually "italic" for formatting instead of "italics" for some weird reason.

Well, I'll be damned, R18.

In my experience, most lesbians tend to be humorless and accuse gay men of being shallow or misogynistic. Hard pass.

[quote] most lesbians tend to be humorless and accuse gay men of being shallow or misogynistic

Both are true.

Not to say there aren’t wonderful lesbians I’ve gotten along with and been close with, but as a whole I do not find them to be worth my time. To be fair, I also think this of straight women as a whole, who also number some of my closest friends. Gay men truly treat women like EQUALS - not with the special treatment straight men, and most lesbians/hetero women do, and that sets them off intensely. They also love accuse fellow women of “internalized misogyny” when they’re not being properly worshipped and agreed with and they can’t blame it on the person questioning them being a man. So fucking annoying. Men have their own issues but they don’t do this shit for the most part.

[italic] fuckery [/italic]

[italic]fuckery[/italic]

[italic]fuckery[/italic], test

R20 couldn't get to the first sentence of the second paragraph at R13. Disgraceful.

R22 couldn't do it either. Astonishing.

Oh. R20 and R22 are the same person. Better one inerudite gay than two. I'm glad.

R10 These days there are a lot of male nurses. Aside from that, I think it's pretty even-steven. However, several of my lesbian friends detest men, including gay men and are seriously uncomfortable even being in the same room with them. It strikes me as being damned stupid.

Of course, OP. Gay men are self-centered, vapid bitches.

Who are these lesbians who can't be in the same room as gay men?

MARY!!!

R26, it’s pathological to fear and hate half the population. I believe that about 30% of all lesbians are autistic. The rest are normal and nice

Women are socialized in a way that is more conductive towards empathy and caring. Some of it is biological as well. So, yes, in my experience, lesbians tend to be more supportive than gay men.