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I'm an average looking gay guy and I'm getting jealous of all the attention my hot gay BFF gets

When we go out to gay bars or parties guys are all over him and it's like I don't exist. It just makes me so uncomfortable. Especially when guys come up to me and ask me to set them up with my friend, which happens a lot.

I love my friend, he's a truly great guy, but I hate being out with him.. Should I even bring this up? We are great friends and I don't have many friends and I adore him but I'm also jealous.

by Anonymousreply 26May 1, 2023 7:20 PM

Take his castoffs and be grateful.

by Anonymousreply 1April 30, 2023 11:24 PM

Grow a spine. Make a choice.

by Anonymousreply 2April 30, 2023 11:24 PM

Aw, you're the DUFF

by Anonymousreply 3April 30, 2023 11:25 PM

I'm guessing your hot friend sees your other stupid posts here?

by Anonymousreply 4April 30, 2023 11:26 PM

Why would you tell your friend about it? What's he going to do -- get ugly so you won't feel so bad?

by Anonymousreply 5April 30, 2023 11:27 PM

Keep your mouth shut and be grateful you have a friend.

by Anonymousreply 6April 30, 2023 11:32 PM

This reminds me of when I had a boyfriend who was 5 years younger than me. Though originally I was usually considered the more attractive one, as I got to be around 38 and he was still only 33 and looked younger, and had all his hair while mine was starting to thin, suddenly he was getting all the attention (from younger guys) and I was standing around in the background. This caused me to eat and drink a little more and then I looked 10 years older than him. Probably you shouldn't hang out with someone when it makes you feel less attractive or worthy than you are.

by Anonymousreply 7April 30, 2023 11:40 PM

Take your clothes off. Your nudity will help balance the equation.

by Anonymousreply 8April 30, 2023 11:43 PM

Take that jealousy to the gym, trail, or track, OP. Better yourself. And I don't know where either of you stand professionally, but great looks very rarely hang around forever. Use what you can, to get what you want.

by Anonymousreply 9April 30, 2023 11:44 PM

“Take your clothes off. Your nudity will help balance the equation.”

Your nudity will help clarify the equation.

by Anonymousreply 10April 30, 2023 11:49 PM

Do more scaled down activities with him: movie, dinner etc. Maybe the bar and party scene is not rewarding for you in general if you feel ignored.

by Anonymousreply 11May 1, 2023 12:00 AM

Jealous people do us the favor of showing how useless they are.

by Anonymousreply 12May 1, 2023 12:14 AM

Instead of going out thinking you’re an “average looking gay guy,” channel the confidence of dudes you see who attract men. You might be putting off “not good enough” vibes.

Maybe you are not even really trying, assuming they wouldn’t be interested. Straighten that posture up and act like you’re having the time of your life. Guffaw!

by Anonymousreply 13May 1, 2023 12:23 AM

OP, I was that hot gay BFF.

by Anonymousreply 14May 1, 2023 12:45 AM

OP, there's really only one question and it's one you have to ask yourself.

Is he keeping you around as a friend because it makes him more attractive in comparison, or is he keeping you around as a friend because he's a good person and he likes you?

Don't ask him. You have to figure that one out yourself.

But I bet it's the latter, that he's a good friend, and he keeps you around because he likes you.

And that's wonderful, and something you shouldn't give up. And it's unfair to blame him for being attractive.

I think when you realize that you have a good friend, the fact that he's attractive and gets a lot of attention isn't gonna bother you as much.

I don't mean to sound mean. Being jealous is natural, but it is something you have control over, not him. So I don't advise talking to him about it, because it's not something he can change.

by Anonymousreply 15May 1, 2023 1:19 AM

As someone above said (more or less) - do stuff with him that doesn't put you in a position of being at gay bars or parties. Just...find other stuff to do that doesn't involve having to see him get all the attention. There must be a lot of other things.

by Anonymousreply 16May 1, 2023 1:29 AM

put grease in his skin creams

by Anonymousreply 17May 1, 2023 1:39 AM

Lots of surprisingly good advice here. Average looks are workable. Play up your strengths. Nothing is sexier or more attention-getting than confidence. Fake it til you make it, OP.

by Anonymousreply 18May 1, 2023 2:54 PM

I've been on both sides of the equation. In my younger years, I was the "cute hot thing" getting all the attention. But that was a couple decades ago. I now have a handsome, younger BF and when we are together, he gets all the focus and I might as well be invisible. I'm happy to let him enjoy his time in the spotlight because it's fleeting.

by Anonymousreply 19May 1, 2023 4:09 PM

OP - who has the bigger cock? Do you have anything of value on the meat market? Put that forward. And shut the fuck up about this with your friend. Either suck it up or stop going to cruisy places with him. Do something else. Play sports or go consume culture, or go to dinner. Whatever.

by Anonymousreply 20May 1, 2023 5:43 PM

How hot?

by Anonymousreply 21May 1, 2023 5:51 PM

Do you have any devastating repartee for the droolers?

You want him? Get in line! No really: get in line and bring me a martini.

His dance card is filled, among other things.

I’m not a pimp. I’m a card carrying member of MENSA. Mens a want to get to know me better.

Oh him? He’s a champ about taking my sloppy seconds.

Or simply: Yes. he’s a great guy. I’m lucky to have him as a friend. What did you do today? Have you seen _movie, show, art, the buffet_?

by Anonymousreply 22May 1, 2023 6:49 PM

He's the Barbie, you're the Midge, OP.

by Anonymousreply 23May 1, 2023 7:00 PM

When I lived in L.A. I worked at a BH piazza and was the only staff member who was not an aspiring model or actor.

The benefit of this was two of my young co-workers were super hot. I got to go to lots of great things because of this.

Enjoy your hot friend and remember it's your own insecurities that are the issue here.

by Anonymousreply 24May 1, 2023 7:11 PM

What’s your body like, OP?

Muscles and a slim waist go a long way.

by Anonymousreply 25May 1, 2023 7:19 PM

Some people are hotter than others, hot people are going to get more attention. No shit Sherlock.

Such is the way of the world, it's better to face that with confidence than be insecure about it. And if you really can't handle that then hit the gym and become hotter.

by Anonymousreply 26May 1, 2023 7:20 PM
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