Ever had someone in your life that was just impervious to ghosting?

You sound like real peach, OP.

No reply necessary.

OP blocked long ago.

Oh please, R1. There's never been a single person in your life that's needed ghosting? Either because you sense they're too unstable to shoulder a flat-out rejection or because they're seemingly incapable of picking up on many less-than-subtle hints that you're not interested in reciprocating their affections? Ghosting was something that used to happen all the time when all it meant was not returning someone's calls. But now that people have twelve different ways of contacting you at any given time they have twelve different ways to be offended when you don't respond, and they talk about "ghosters" as if they're on par with animal abusers or child traffickers.

If someone didn't respond to my texts after reaching out once or twice (provided it wasn't a best friend, committed partner, or close family member), I'd take a hint and give them the distance they obviously want—not passive aggressively stalk them for years.

OP/r3 didn't get the hint.

OP: “ Even though you've ignored their texts and DMs for months or years …. even though you're pretty sure you've made it abundantly clear”

Ignoring texts and direct messages is not making it abundantly clear. If you want them out of your life, put on your big girl panties and go tell them to stop contacting you forever.

Why don't you just unfriend and block her or tell her you hate her, so she'll leave you alone? Be an adult about it. Plus, think of the enjoyment you'll get after you do and you can post about it and everyone in your friends list can tell you how relieved they are that they "made the cut".

Maybe they're trolling you, OP?

One of the people I'm thinking of specifically is an ex-boyfriend. We broke up mutually and amicably three years ago and after a number of months, I kindly made it very clear that I while I wished him well and would look back on our relationship fondly, I had moved on and wouldn't be available to talk regularly. I then tried to do the polite slow fade-away and he just went on contacting me multiple times a week as if we'd never had that conversation at all. I eventually just started ignoring his texts because if he had no intentions of respecting my boundaries, I no longer had the same feelings of goodwill towards him. It's been two solid years of zero contact from me and he still texts regularly and will even randomly call me on fb messenger in the middle of the day as if we were still dating or close friends.

This has also happened a number of times with one-night stands. And I hear from straight female friends that this is something they have to deal with from men all the time.

I think intentionally causing someone to get so fed-up that they have to demand you stop contacting them when their non-response should really have been enough to get the message across is an emotionally manipulative way to force someone's hand into to saying hurtful things to you so you can play the victim.

R7 I swear, that's what it feels like. Like they know very well that you don't have an interest in communicating with them anymore, so they're going to get their revenge by harassing you for years, and then when you get so frustrated you blow up on them, they can just play it off like, "what did I do? all I ever did was send you nice thoughts and messages!"

It's just so creepy and entitled.

That is not ghosting, this is manipulation. Ghosting is blocking the telephone number or in extreme circumstances changing the number. Setting all of your social media profiles to private, blocking the person or in extreme circumstances closing the accounts.

R10 So if someone doesn't change their number, set all their social media accounts to private (or even close them), and practically take out a restraining order on someone they're what...leading them on?

Yeah, some people, you can change your DNA and move to Pluto and they still won't take the hint.

This is not what I said. I said block their number.

You didn't ghost them, you are receiving and reading their messages. You respond occasionally and the other party, " can't take a hint".

I have this with one former ( to me) friend.

I think of her as my zombie friend.

Rejection is protection

As I said in R8, I've made zero contact in two years despite their regular (at least once a week) messaging. Is that not enough of a hint?

And yes, I know I could easily just block people, but blocking to me feels like such a hostile, extreme move. The only people I've ever blocked were people who have made direct threats or were overtly unstable/dangerous people.

Maybe I'm just not assertive enough or too avoidant of conflict, sure. But the thing is, I don't believe most people need to be flat out told to stop contacting someone else or be blocked to stop messaging or calling someone who hasn't responded to them in months or years. Most people could and do take a hint and figure out that this person, for whatever reason, no longer wants to communicate. And I don't genuinely believe these people AREN'T getting it. I think they get it just fine and they're doing it passive aggressively, to wear you out.

Some exes will do things like hack your email or stalk you and still think that they have a right to your time/attention/future. Those people are BATSHIT. If you've made the grevious mistake of allowing one of those into your life then --yes-- change your number, passwords, email accounts, block her/him. If a restraining order is warranted, obtain one.

If they are just obtuse or clingy, unfriend them. Don't read their texts or messages. Pretend like they're spam from a "Nigerian Prince".

R18 What's crazy is that this person was not even remotely crazy, possessive, or otherwise toxic when we were together. He was a lovely, cool, and self-aware person and we had a very respectful relationship. We only ended things because he was transferred to another city and long distance didn't end up working for us, especially during the pandemic. And I hate that his delusional and creepy behavior since my asking for space from him has eclipsed the very fond feelings I once had for him and our relationship.

Nope. You are playing games. Tedious.

R20 Spoken like a true stalker.

You are tedious

OP, thinking of you! hope you're doing well!

I chatted at Instagram a while back with someone realizing there was nothing further in it after a while. He, apparently, did not feel that way as he continued messaging several times over the following day or two. Didn't go so far as to block him, resulting in another friendly message from him again recently.

R22 You have officially exhausted your word of the day.

You are not cute enough to stalk. Also, your pussy stinks.

OP, be nicer to your mother.

Yes. I ghosted her and she called years later to tell me her mother died. I offered my condolences and before ending the call she asked if I'd be coming to the funeral. I hung up, pretended I didn't hear her. I cut her off several years later and would have no reason to go to her elderly mother's funeral. Who was also a mean bitch. No thanks.

This was years ago. Of late she's started up again, harassing a mutual friend about me and asking her all sorts of questions about me. The mutual friend is plenty freaked out by what she characterizes as an obsession. She told me to be careful lol. I'm not concerned...just find it odd that she would reappear and try to insist herself upon my life after a break of several years.

We believe she suffers from some sort of mental disability. She's also severely dyslexic. Not sure if it's connected to whatever damage she has. She's also highly manipulative. She uses her disability to gain sympathy from people. It's how she forces her way into people's lives.

I cut her off several years *earlier*, I meant to say. .

It's called "hoovering" when they continue to contact you or contact you randomly many months or even years later. Usually on a special occasion or to be nostalgic about something you shared. NEVER respond, not even to tell them to stop, they consider even a negative response a "win" and an opening.

My former partner kept up with me after I rejected him, and persisted until one night, in a drunken rage, I unleashed all my anger and disappointment to him. He simply took responsibility and for the damage he caused, and didn't turn back. We're no longer partners, but still best friends. I'm very grateful that we've moved to a healthier place, but it meant stripping the walls out first.

You can block people

It’s actually really easy to block phone numbers. You don’t even have to change your number because they’ll get the hint. And if they text you from a new number you can block that too

OP, you sound like the biggest asshole in the world.

OP, block their number and block them on social media, including linked in. If you know their email address, label it as spam so when they email you, they'll get a bounce back.

Tell us more about their passive aggressive whinge when they unloaded on you for responding? Also, I don't understand why you're even reading their shit (much less responding) if you're ghosting them...