Let’s be Charmed (original)

I’m also the glorious Halliwell house. Must have been worth a fortune.

I'm Alyssa Milano's breasts.

R2 - They are fake.

I'm Alyssa Milano's forearm hair.

R4 - that’s real

I'm the tasteful 90s fashions that transitioned into quirky 00s fashion which finally culminated in tasteless late 00s fashion.

I'm the Crone.

I’m Rose’s moustache.

I’m Shannen’s wonk eyes.

I’m the plot inconsistencies.

I am the spell that changed the faux satyr into a tree created by Piper and Paige.

Changing seasons changes all, life renews as nature calls. Nothing is immune. Everything transmutes. So, take this demon and give him roots.

I am Christopher Wiehl playing a snake brought to life via tape recording of Phoebe’s voice chanting:

From strike of twelve count twenty-four, that’s how long this spell is for. To abate my lonely heart, enchant these gifts I thee impart.

I’m the 90s band holding my breath our “next big hit” gets picked up by this lesbian TV show and hits the charts with a rocket.

I’m the tried & true amulet!

I’m Holly Marie Combs’ waist length hair.

I'm Quake, Piper's super hip grunge club.

I'm Julian McMahon and I was super hot in this show.

R16 - Piper was the manager but she wound up doing every job.

I'm The Smiths' theme song.

I'm Piper, the below-average looking sister.

I'm Prue's evil auction house co-workers.

I'm the wildly inconsistent pronunciation of Cole's demon name. Belthazar . . . Balthazor . . . Balthazar . . . Belthazor . . .

I'm also Leo's inability to pronounce the word "Faustian" correctly.

R16 I think you mean [72virg=ins]

R16 quake was the restaurant in the first season. P3 was the club

R20 - Piper was beautiful.

I’m the ultra-powerful squint.

The reboot season seven features Cousin Prune. She has to squeeze her tits to cast spells. They said they ran out of movements, but the showrunner is a perv.

I'm the dialog:

"Leo! Leo!! LEO!!!"

I'm the washed up soap actor playing this week's villain or love interest.

I'm the one who birthed these whores. I've got legs for days!

R29- Finola also had extraordinary long hair.

I’m the scream for Leo!

I'm Leo's orbs.

I’m the triquetra.

R21 one of them had a strong resemblance to Gabrielle Carteris 😄

R28 and Cupid was the hottest love interest.

I'm the toxic set of uber-cuntiness.

I’m the weight Piper gained.

i'm the lack of gay men in sf

I'm the cliff that the writing went over after they vanquished the Source. I'm HUGE!

They lost the plot.

I'm the plot.

"What tiny outfit can we squeeze Alyssa and Rose into this week?"

For my snarky bitches that like podcasts:

This podcast rips Charmed a new one by Season. Notice how the Season 1 video is 15 minutes and the Season 8 video is over 2 hours.

I'm Armin Shimerman telling a convention audience that Charmed was the worst set I was ever on.

R42 I guess Joss wasn't a dick to him on Buffy.

I'm the much better, alternate reality where Paige was killed before the sisters got to meet her. Rose is unbearable. I hate that she's part of the Charmed legacy.

I'm the over-sized scarf Holly thinks is fooling people into not noticing the massive weight gain this past weekend.

Shando and Rose had a good chuckle behind Holly's back about me.

Oh Holly, the chin(s) don't lie!

This when I got a coffee break after Holly realized she wasn't the largest person in the group photo.

I nabbed a cruller, too. It was delish.

Don't tell Holly!

Back to work!

At least the dog at R48 is cute.

R41 - these are great. Yes, I noticed how they get longer and longer each season.

“The elders are dicks.”

Wow, Piper got FAT! Did she stop smoking? Gray hairs, wrinkles, and dingy teeth too! See what happens when you stop working and start eating. She looks like an office mom with a full EBT/SNAP card. Check her hennish hands, too. Wow, this is disappointing.

I guess I'm team Alyssa Milano, because she has aged the best, I guess? What has she been doing since Project Runway: All Stars was cancelled because of Harvey? Getting fat and old like the rest of them? Shannen needs to hurry and die. Rose needs to grow out her hair and give up the butch dyke look. We get it Harvey was a slimy bastard. Now, trying getting cast in Scream 7 in a new role.

Kaley Cuoco is such a shitty actress, but has hopped from one hit tv show to the other. 8 Rules, Charmed, Big Bang, and now Harley Quinn. Rolling in money and looking the best out of all the witches. Damn.

Shannen is dying but also looks mutilated from surgeries. Rose also looks mutilated and also insane. Holly is diabetic fat but at least there's a human under there.

Holly can transition into a cisgender male orangutan with Elephantiasis of the nipples for all I care.

She gets a lifetime pass from me for this scene alone.

and that dog at R48 hates Rose's guts, I'm sure.

and I'm so sick of Rose having to be front and center at all of these Charmed events. Fuck off, you narcissist! She seriously thinks she is the all-powerful savior of this show.

Prue was so much better. Piper THE BEST OF ALL

Holly started adding weight early on in the series. She was trim in the first season.

Holly was trim during the first three seasons. Season four she was fine. Having her first kid during the middle seasons 5/6 is what really did it. There was no coming back. The hair got longer as her torso got thicker. Still, she was generally fine during the show's run. After Pretty Little Liars, Holly really started eating the entire Entenmann's box.

I'm the Grandfather clock destroyed in every episode during a demon attack at the manor. Don't bother repairing me.

I'm the amount of times Piper is willing to sacrifice an innocent or a sister because she has more important things to do

I'm Cole. EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT

I'm the PMS Werewolves

R57- Holly gained some between season 1 and 3. She wasn’t even close to heavy then but she was not as thin. She also was growing her hair out those seasons. It’s almost as long in season 3 as it is in season 6.

Alyssa also gained between seasons 2 and 3.

R59 I'd argue Phoebe was the most selfish one. She was always prioritizing chasing love and getting laid over helping her sisters. She's why Prue died. After that, Piper really just wanted a normal life and only fought back when the demons became super invasive by coming to the house or threatening her children. She knew her sisters could generally handle themselves.

R63 later season Piper was a self-obsessed shrew, just like Phoebe.

I'm the rules of time travel. I don't exist!

R45 is that recent? I thought Shannen and Holly weren't friends anymore.

R51 Kaley is younger than them and also into fitness compared to the Charmed ones.

R66 they're following each other on Instagram again. They seem to have made up.

R67 that's good. Holly would have felt like shit if she didn’t try and make up with Shannen.

R63 - Agree. Especially her with Cole.

I'm the creepy closeness they're always jamming themselves into. Space is anathema to us.

I'm Henry Gibson as The Sandman. I didn't get to recite a poem about a flower as I was incinerated by the demon. Fucker.

I'm the number of times Phoebe has been reminded to believe in love!

I'm the dress when Phoebe was transformed into Cinderella. Whoever designed me deserved to be shot out of Hollywood by a cannon.

I'm the Ozempic prescription Holly cannot afford.

R73 fucking yikes! And they make her implants obvious too.

I'm Holly Marie Comb's inability to smile or laugh.

R76- What do you mean? Holly smiles a good deal.

R77 wooden as hell

I’m the very hot next door neighbor who wears tank tops and shows off my gorgeous arms.

I am Pru, how got the works death scene ever.

I'm Phoebe's range of hairstyles and colors. Some more successful than others.

[quote]I am Pru, how got the works death scene ever.

I'm confused...by this word salad.

R82 I bet he or she meant that Pru got the worst death scene ever.