We can all acknowledge the word ‘Bear’ just means overweight, right?

Yep, they're just hairy, often bloated, fat whores.

Overweight and hairy.

There's also a connotation of being ugly, right? You wouldn't call someone who is pretty a bear.

they gotta be hairy

if they're smooth, they're 'manatees'

r3 I don't think so, bears are cute animals, especially the panda. When I think bear, I think huggable, not ugly.

Maybe "rugged", if I wanted to meet you halfway.

I find it confusing when gays, who are usually out of shape themselves, brag about landing a bf or spouse and excitedly say “he’s a bear!”

My only thought is “oh, you mean overweight and lazy, like you?” Yeah, that’s hot. 🙄

R4 Fitting descriptor 🤣 🤣 🤣

Otter-lovers beware -- your favorites can bloat up to beardom very easily!

Look at their family members to judge this proclivity!

I think the annoying comedian burnt crysler is one. I’m a tall and skinny man connoisseur so what do I know.

Sorry, to me a bear is a fit, well-muscled, confident, bearded man.

A fat guy is just a fat guy

What exactly is considered an "otter" ? Pictures please !

r10 You're describing a "Muscle Mary", BPC. Bears are just fat.

When I think "bear," I also think: flannel shirt and facial hair. Kind of a lumberjack aesthetic.

I liked it better when Bears were just members of the Girth & Mirth club.

Was John Goodman on Roseanne (1988-1997) a Bear 🐻? or just FAT

R10 I didn’t say fat I said overweight. The Insta guy you posted is overweight by any medical or physiological standard. Again, nothing wrong with that.

He ain’t fit though. 🤦‍♂️

Thank you, R12. Would "Muscle Bear" be okay?

I always thought "Bear" meant very hairy.

FATTTTTTTT

In the late 1970s and early 1980s I understood it to mean hairy, often thick-boned (not slight), sometimes fat but in a minority of cases, say 15% to 20%.

Now of course if means big fatty fat fuck who may or may not have hair, probably works in IT or tech of some sort, and may have vaguely sardonic tastes (often as unremarkable as liking "Big Bang Theory" a little too much, a gay techie version of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.)

R21 Agreed. I used to think it meant tall, solidly muscular (but not the emotionally/psychologically unwell, exaggerated kind), and hairy. Think, big and sturdy but physically active. However, increasingly gay men I come across excitedly broadcast their ‘bears’ and it’s these completely out of shape, unattractive round guys. They look plain, totally unhealthy and completely non sexual.

These two pudgy animated queens who worked back-office at my firm constantly referred to, and told every uninterested party, about their husbands being bears. I finally saw the husbands at a summer work event and wow, they were just fat. The four of them stood together and talked throughout the event and anyone would simply describe them as four overweight gentlemen.

The R10 man is not overweight. You don't have to be a greyhound to be considered fit.

The image at R10 is a fat guy. He has a little bit of shape or form to him, it's true; he's not quite a Mr. Blobby Fatfuck, but decidedly more fat than lean.

And he's bald. Bald like a cue ball, bald like so very many fat "bears.". Fat and bald are two strikes that count as three; or factor in delusional and arrive to 3 without need of bonus points.

R10, IMO, that guy is not attractive at all.

Good question re: John Goodman. He's straddling the border between fat and bear. There's something attractive about him, but he could also be seen as just plain fat.

"Bear" is like "curvy" for women.

I’m mostly a top, but I’m happy to be accommodating and enjoy bttming if the guy really wants. That being said…the absolute threshold for weight limit is the ‘dickie do’ test. If your tummy sticks out further than your dickie do, we’re not having sex.

If you have a large belly you better be packing a 9” cock, even if I’m topping.

There's no straddling it, R26, John Goodman is a great big fat fuck.

In what crazy world is he not fat, and decidedly so.

Bears seem to think they are apart from fat, just "big guys" who will rattle off their shoe size, their height, anything but their weight (so convinced are they that they "carry it well" that their waist size approaches the height of many men.

Eat it, gurlina. I am the news.

Charles the Fat was the OG bear king

R13 Guys who aren't fat and into flannel are often referred to as lumbersexuals.

R32 😂 new to me but I’m into it. Hot

Bear is the same as “BBW” for women.

Bears are burly.

Fit guys who are more muscular than the Otter-type, but aren't overweight like Bears, might also be called Wolves (typically alpha, as well).

Gays do a have a type. The guys who like Bears really don't want slim guys. 100% of females fancy me, tall, neat beard, polite and funny...id be considered handsome by womens magazine standards...think Chris Evans meets Mark Rufallo meets a younger Clive Owen...but gays have described me as 'elegant' and thats not what the gays want...Masc over rules stereotypical attractiveness in the gay universe..and Bears are often seen as Masc. Tho most are big Mary's really.

R37 Let me guess, you’re 47 but get mistaken for 29 all the time!

You're right, R29. John Goodman is not straddling the line. I think I have a soft spot for him.

WTH happened to the way Goodman talks ? I watched him on 'The Conners' this evening (can't remember the last time I watched that horrible show) and he talks like he has dentures that don't fit him in his mouth. And he looks like a deflated balloon. The guy looks like he's on his last leg.

And stinky, don’t forget stank and bad hygiene.

Wow, a thread where DL hates fat people. It's been hours since we've had one of these.

R11 I would call Billy Eichner a classic Otter, as are most slim, Jewish gay men.

I resemble that remark

Well bears are hotter than emaciated coked up queens trying to act like teenage girls

The word was probably originally perjorative, and coined by twinks and muscle queens. Creating a defensive, insular community within a community.

[quote][R11] I would call Billy Eichner a classic Otter, as are most slim, Jewish gay men.

Hairy Jews are separate from Otters. There are personality differences.

I see a lot of huge hairy bodybuilder types on Scruff that describe themselves as bears. I also see, overweight hairy guys use the bear term as well. And I've seen Twinks describe themselves as otters.

I think we need to assemble a commission on gay nomenclature at our next annual meeting to determine what a bear, an otter, and a Twink really are.

Whoever is taking notes, please add that to the Gay Agenda.

I'm somewhere between bear and otter, weight wise. I'm not sure what that is. A groundhog?

I agree, R48. Twinks very often miscategorize themselves when they've aged out of their prime. Passing 25 doesn't automatically make you an otter. It just makes you an aged twink.

[quote] "There's also a connotation of being ugly, right? You wouldn't call someone who is pretty a bear."

Not for me. Not at all. I've seen quite a few pretty men who also happened to have that bodytype (which I like on other men, but not on me).

Oh, I don't think bears have to be ugly at all. Some of the handsomest, sexiest men I've ever seen call themselves bears.

To some guys, THIS is a bear.

I prefer to think of him as a snack cake.

(And this is just some random image I pulled off of google. I have no idea who he is)

[quote]I prefer to think of him as a snack cake.

A Tastykake :P

"There's also a connotation of being ugly, right? You wouldn't call someone who is pretty a bear."

I think four out of six wouldn't mind being called pretty.

^Less tastykake

I always though Roy from The Office was an example of a hot bear. I was never a bear connoisseur, but I had a huge crush on him.

R1 why do you ask

Fat undiscerning Marys.

Smokin Hot Bear at a bus stop. Check out those pecks! He's been working out.

Bears = Big hairy guy, sometimes muscular, usually just fat or combination of the two.

Cubs = Young bear, usually a bottom

Otters = Thin hairy guys, average build.

Muscle Bears = Very muscular hairy guy with a few extra pounds.

Wolf – A gay man with body and facial hair, but also a very lean, muscular, athletic build.

Panda Bears = Big fat Asian guy

Polar Bear = Grey hairy guy body and face

Chub = Big fat guy, excessively obese without muscle, lacks any redeeming physical quality. See R54

is Adam lambert a bear or should he get a beard to push his career?

.....

R62 isn’t vichyssoise more of a purée?

😳 🤢🤮

R54 Today’s letter is ‘M’ for ‘Manatees’

🦭 🦭 🦭 🦭

Brought to us by R4

In the 90s and early 00s bear had a really specific meaning and was a real culture that stood in opposition to mainstream standards in the gay community. Mainstream guys aspired to be young, hairless, muscled and clean shaven ken dolls who listened to electronic dance music: bears, in contrast, did not obsess about their weight, grew out their facial hair and generally fetishized the sartorial and behavioral habits of blue collar guys. They listened to rock, not house or techno. They did not dance much. Even tho they presented as separatist from the rigid standards of circuit culture, bear culture represented another really strict code of dress and comportment

Then in the late 00s things started to blur

Razors got more expensive and the popularity of facial and body hair began to explode. The general culture also became a lot more self aware about the ways in which so many of our ideas about correctly gendered behavior are arbitrary and inauthentic. Body positivity became a mainstream buzzword. Hipsters who had previously scorned electronics as soulless and dumb, began to rediscover the joys of the dance floor, and there was a huge reevaluation of previously dismissed music such as disco techno and house.

The circuit boys started growing beards, the bears started taking Molly and dancing to techno in Berlin. Everyone started experimenting with nail polish and jewelry.

Before long there was one and then many drag queens with beards.

"Bear culture" hasn't really been a monolithic thing for a really long time, and if you go to Provincetown for bear week you see the gamut from tidy tubby older men with neatly trimmed beards and their shirts tucked in, to radical fairies to macho muscle boys in clone throwback looks

Things are a lot more relaxed now, at least in the big cities

The sort of rigid definitions people are listing here feel, like a lot of DataLounge, like cultural insights from 1998

I think every Gen X gay coming up in the 90s aspired to grow up to be a bear. Because we already had the flannel and hated shaving.

R52 His name is Ryan Chmelik.

R67, get the fuck out!! Seriously? You mean now I can FIND him??? THANK YOU!!

Oh no! He comes with reviews. And they're terrible!

So disappointed. ☹️

I would bet a lot of money that very very few ‘bears’ jerk off to porn with guys who look like themselves in it. A lot of money.

Being attracted to obese people is an extreme outlier of sexual fetish. Straight, gay, bi, male, female, whatever…people by-and-large do not find obesity appealing in a sexual context, while also recognizing it’s a hardship which deserves a certain amount of compassion.

It’s like trying to convince someone a fetish for dwarf furries into bdsm…is totally normal and natural.

He’s also getting rather chubby.

Isn’t it the term used to describe Gen-Z young adult women?

Gay guys enjoying themselves. Imagine that!

It's better than being with a big fat Karen slouching over her shopping cart at her local Walmart, wearing leggings because they're the only things she can fit in, cottage cheese thighs and all on full display.

there used to be division between bears and chubs

but then came will & grace, and gay culture as portrayed by mainstream entertainment has bastardized the terms as more and more flyover states developed their own gay ghettos... rendering all definitions null and void.

Hair Bear.

I think bears try to project an image that they’re down to earth guys who want to hang together and watch sports, drink beer or do other “manly” activities. But they’re he most exclusionary group there is. I have little body hair and am naturally tall and lanky. I couldn’t be a bear if I wanted too and they would never accept me into their circle.

Is there a Back Hair subset within the Bear community?

R76 This sounds like the makings of a children's book: The sad, skinny smoothboy that only longs to be a bear.

He stuffs pillows down his shirt and tapes merkins to his chest and tries to cuddle up with the big, warm bears in their cave, but they just growl, "NOT ONE OF US!", and cast the boy out. 😢

R49- That's fine. I think Woodchucks/Groundhogs are CUTE.

R76- You sound good to me. I like slim guys best- not muscular and not bear( meaning obese) and I also like slim and hairy.

R60- TOO MANY labels.

I don't think all that labeling is liberating

it's LIMITING.

R78 love it 😂

Bears were initially fit and hairy, but yes, sadly fatties stole the "bear" label and now it stands for fat whores.

No, we cannot all acknowledge it Methany

There are several bear cliques in my city and they are ALL awful!! There's one that I got on the bad side of. Dated one of them, broke up with him. He went nuts and now his friends stalk me online. There's another that I've been warned to stay as far away from as possible.

Weirdly, the muscle bear clique is the most tolerable. If you're not one of them, you're invisible to them. They won't talk to you, but at least they won't talk ABOUT you either.

At least they'll go to a restaurant and not just order a sssssalad.

Bear used to mean hairy and masculine but now it just means grossly obese and unattractive. (also batshit crazy like a cult from my interactions with self-labelled "bears" and the "bear community" and that's why I steer clear now).

There are gay fat guys, gay hairy guys, and gay hair fat guys. I consider Bears those guys who have no shirt or an open flannel with their hairy big gut hanging out while wearing Daisy Dukes and Combat boots, basically like they ate a lesbian and stole their clothes.

[quote]...no shirt or an open flannel with their hairy big gut hanging out while wearing Daisy Dukes and Combat boots, basically like they ate a lesbian and stole their clothes.

😂😂😂

I once saw a chart used by obsessive bears, which graded how bear you are based on the length of your beard and of your chest hair, among other things. I found it quite adolescent.

R70 I would bet a lot of money that you don't have any. Let's start there.

Gay bears aren't attracted to some tragic drag queen. We have plenty of sex.

Go back to working your local street corner, mary.

If I want to see a collection of fat hairy men in Orlando I will go to Disneyworld like everyone else.

R91 “We have plenty of sex with other fat hairy men, who no one else would.”

Fixed it for you.

R91 the guy in the pic is hot. He looks virile and vital. Unfortunately very few men who look like that go to those events, nor are they representative of ‘bears’ any longer.

He’s smelling his pit…which highlights another problem with ‘bear’ culture, currently. Fat hairy ‘bears’ will often ask “you into ‘ripe’ or ‘smells’?” To which the only reply is “Do you mean sweat from a guy who just exerted himself, at the gym, doing home improvements, or playing basketball?” Sure! Or, do you mean simply unbathed for days while he sat around doing nothing while sweat and bacteria rotted him? 🤮

There is a HUGE difference between ‘clean’ perspiration from vigorous activity…and fetid rot on a guy whose idea of activity is walking from the couch to the fridge.

[quote]There is a HUGE difference between ‘clean’ perspiration from vigorous activity…and fetid rot on a guy whose idea of activity is walking from the couch to the fridge.

I just have a mini fridge parked next to my Barcalounger. So I don't sweat when I need to go to the fridge.

I always assumed when someone meant ripe they meant a shitty ass. These guys say they only like natural smells, no deodorant or cologne. Okay, I can get no cologne but Jesus no shower or deodorant? Go to fucking France is you want to smell B.O.

We're not your baby daddies.