Being gay and introverted has cost me so much

So change going forward - you have nothing to lose.

We love you, OP. The force of the Universe is with you!

Change or keep whining. Your choice. Sure, you can list all the good reasons why change is almost impossible for you, but it's still your choice to argue in favor of not changing than change something you are not happy about.

This will change your life then, OP.

No time like the present.

Forget your past and your perceived shortcomings. Pretend you just started your life today, without any history whatsoever. Even 5 minutes ago. Treat parts of everyday with this brand new perspective to life.

Try being gray and introverted. In flyoverstan! It’s unfortunate I still have my vision and hearing. I just play an audio recording of me saying “Oh, dear!” on loop. Then I run in circles and flail my arms. You get the picture… oh and also wake up randomly out of a could sweat screaming.

Introverted and low confidence are two different things.

I think your issue is not that you are an introvert, but that you are not a confident extrovert. You are denying an important part of your personality, and thus unable to thrive.

Were you bullied as a child? I was, and it forced me to become an introvert when I naturally am not. It took a while but I was able to relearn who I am.

Maybe consider getting involved in public speaking or acting. It might help you break out of your shell.

OP, could you be on the spectrum? Which is A-okay by me, but it can set you back with social milestones.

If you’re of a certain generation, your diagnosis could have been missed and you wouldn’t have gotten the help you needed.

[quote] Introverted and low confidence are two different things. I think your issue is not that you are an introvert, but that you are not a confident extrovert.

Hmmm, this is a good point I've not considered before, as a fellow introvert who is not doing well in life.

There are introverts and quiet people who are very confident and secure in who they are--I think of some of the cooler, more stoical and reclusive actors & artists. Maybe that's something for us to aim for.

R8 if introversion or shyness is all it is with OP, that can be worked on and perhaps even remedied completely.

Not so with ASD/Autism, which even if low-needs/high functioning and somewhat responsive to amelioration or retraining, can't ever be totally cured or got rid of. With all the work and effort and positivity in the world, still one just has to live with emotional & social handicap or limitation or blindness in some degree, forever.

*the A word has entered the chat*

R8 Go back to Reddit with that “everyone who is shy has ASD” bullshit.

Unless OP is having freak outs over his “broken hamburger” he doesn’t have ASD.

R11 hahaha yeah, sorry, here to ruin everyone's salad!!!!

Seriously though, I've met other Autistics who are remarkably confident or outgoing for absolutely no merit. They're so socially blind they don't even notice how annoying or rude or inept they are coming across to others (usually only the men or the kids with it, tbf--even ASD women are better socially), and no amount of therapy or social skills retraining or polite words can make them stop. So as R12 points out, ASD/Autism does not often or even usually connote low social confidence. I have it along with ASD, but that's not so common, and moreso seen in females and older people with the condition.

In fact, introversion or shyness or lack of confidence at least denotes social awareness. Just, too much perhaps.

R13 The only thing I want to ask you about Autism is to shut the fuck up about it.

I'm sorry, OP. Just thought I'd drop that there. Introverted people miss a lot in life. That includes me. Luckily I found a way to live my life so that I had an excuse to do things for others and that forced me out of my introversion (is that a word?).

R14 wowwwwww, hostile. Ok, sir, whatever you say, I'm leaving.

Pop a vike and sit down or something, though, your ancient heart might explode.

R4, there's no need adding to his woes with shit like that.

Oh, the "gay" is what makes it so bad?

i love u, op. Go out right now, smell the spring flowers, count the clouds, go hv the best time of ur life

Die every day. Be reborn again every day. ~Nikos Kazantzakis