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Let's be the 1974 Musical MAME.

I'm the quarter for the john.

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by Anonymousreply 48May 27, 2023 3:05 PM

I'm the lowered keys and spoken notes by the leading lady.

by Anonymousreply 1April 13, 2023 12:36 AM

I’m Jane Connell. I’m nearing 50 but still unmarried and pregnant. I worked well on the stage…but was a fright on film.

I’m still better than Lucy

by Anonymousreply 2April 13, 2023 12:42 AM

I'm "Cinema: Maimed" by Jay Cocks

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by Anonymousreply 3April 13, 2023 12:43 AM

I'm Vera Charles, and if you tell me that I look like a football player in drag one more time, I'll slap my dresser!

by Anonymousreply 4April 13, 2023 12:56 AM

I'm the chorus Vera was NEVER in.

by Anonymousreply 5April 13, 2023 1:11 AM

I'm actress Audrey Christie, demoted from playing Vera in the last days of the show on Broadway to play Mrs. Upson.

by Anonymousreply 6April 13, 2023 1:12 AM

I am the copious amounts of Vaseline that had to be used every time Lucy was on set. You did not want to see her without me.

by Anonymousreply 7April 13, 2023 1:17 AM

I'm Madeline Kahn dodging a bullet.

by Anonymousreply 8April 13, 2023 1:28 AM

I’m Lucille’s naturally red hair dyed brunette for her starring role.

by Anonymousreply 9April 13, 2023 1:35 AM

I’m hyper-sensitive Lucy fans who foam at the mouth at the mere mention of Angela Lansbury.

by Anonymousreply 10April 13, 2023 1:36 AM

I'm Madeline Kahn, saving my dignity by not giving my all so I can be fired and go make twi star making films with Mel Brooks.

by Anonymousreply 11April 13, 2023 2:33 AM

I’m Gary’s toupee, I stink like moth balls !

by Anonymousreply 12April 13, 2023 2:38 AM

I’m Bea Arthur’s “tremendous embarrassment” at being forced to do this by Gene Saks.

by Anonymousreply 13April 13, 2023 3:21 AM

^And yet, she was simply fabulous.

"Someone's been sleeping in my dress."

by Anonymousreply 14April 13, 2023 11:20 AM

I'm Angela Lansbury, winning my third Tony Award the following year, and preparing a "Mame" stock tour to remind the audience of how it should be done!

by Anonymousreply 15April 13, 2023 11:23 AM

I’m the conspicuous silent gaps to accommodate audience reactions.

by Anonymousreply 16April 13, 2023 11:26 AM

I'm the Rhino Records Limited edition Soundtrack CD which sold out in a month.

by Anonymousreply 17April 13, 2023 11:27 AM

Buh-bye, Yankee Gal

by Anonymousreply 18April 13, 2023 11:30 AM

I am all the confederate references in the title song. Many an eldergay have been reported to HR for singing this song in their cubicle.

by Anonymousreply 19April 13, 2023 11:36 AM

I'm That's How Young I Feel grateful that I was cut from the score.

by Anonymousreply 20April 13, 2023 2:02 PM

I'm somewhere between forty and death.

by Anonymousreply 21April 13, 2023 10:52 PM

I’m a martini, twist of lemon, and VERY, VERY dry.

by Anonymousreply 22April 13, 2023 11:50 PM

I'm that revelation that the man in the moon is a bitch!

by Anonymousreply 23April 14, 2023 2:57 AM

I’m Lucy attempting to dance on a recently broken leg.

by Anonymousreply 24April 14, 2023 4:44 AM

I'm the fantastic adaptation and arrangements of Herman's score by Ralph Burns.

by Anonymousreply 25April 17, 2023 6:13 AM

I’m the awkwardly cut verse from Bosom Buddies.

by Anonymousreply 26April 17, 2023 9:34 AM

I'm those damned long pants.

by Anonymousreply 27April 17, 2023 12:40 PM

I'm Mamie Eisenhower. This show was originally supposed to be about ME. But they gave up when they had a hard time finding words that rhyme with "bangs."

by Anonymousreply 28April 17, 2023 12:43 PM

[quote]This show was originally supposed to be about ME. But they gave up when they had a hard time finding words that rhyme with "bangs."


by Anonymousreply 29April 17, 2023 1:35 PM

I’m the avalanche stock footage.

by Anonymousreply 30April 17, 2023 2:10 PM

I'm the crushed ping pong ball.

by Anonymousreply 31April 18, 2023 2:40 AM

Time's one-word headline for the Mame review: Maimed.

by Anonymousreply 32April 18, 2023 3:23 AM

I’m my psychology course. I’m sooo exciiiting!

by Anonymousreply 33April 19, 2023 9:13 AM

I’m the Santa Mask, reused in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

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by Anonymousreply 34April 19, 2023 9:44 AM

I'm Lucy, valiantly struggling on despite a painful ski accident just before production began.

by Anonymousreply 35April 19, 2023 9:48 AM

I'm the blues, coaxed out of a horn.

by Anonymousreply 36April 23, 2023 11:15 PM

I’m the tie-in clothing line, by Leo Narducci.

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by Anonymousreply 37April 23, 2023 11:29 PM

[italic]”Focusing on slinky evening clothes—dresses and pajamas—Narducci collaborated with Trevira, a polyester fiber company, to produce the line. It was the first time that Trevira had commissioned a designer collection showcasing their fiber.”

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by Anonymousreply 38April 23, 2023 11:31 PM

I'm Barbra Streisand. Need I say more ?

Well, if I have to : It's 1974 and I'm the hottest name on the movie marquees across America. I'm 32, and I would be incredible as the zany Auntie Mame. No Vaseline is required. I just finished the sometimes-funny "For Pete's Sake" and I'm now starting production on the sequel to 'Funny Girl' called 'Funny Lady', which I know will be a bomb. But a contract is a contract, and this is the last movie I need to do for Mr. Stark.

However, everyone knows that I should be starring in 'Mame' and not that Lucy person. I could do wonders with the score, though I'd still struggle with the dancing. So I called Jerry Herman, and he said he hated me in 'Hello Dolly' so why would he halt production and wait until I was available for 'Mame' ?

Well, the answer to that question and my attempt in 2002 to remake the movie can be found in my 1,050 page memoir "My Name Is Barbra" , coming out November 7. Buy your copy now !

by Anonymousreply 39May 26, 2023 2:52 AM

If I was the movie critic for TIME ( R3 ) I would change my name. I mean really - Jay Cocks ? That's great for a movie critic for PLAYGIRL or HONCHO - but TIME ? No way.

by Anonymousreply 40May 26, 2023 2:56 AM

I’m the cash Lucille pumped into this abortion.

by Anonymousreply 41May 26, 2023 3:09 AM

I fired my agent after he recommended I be in this heaping pile of cow dung.

by Anonymousreply 42May 26, 2023 3:48 AM

I'm Bea Arthur's declaration of "It was a TOTAL HORROR" in one of her last interviews

by Anonymousreply 43May 26, 2023 5:03 AM

I'm the several corporate executive heads at Warner Bros. rolling off our necks and out the door and eventually into the unemployment line, after the box office receipts came in.

by Anonymousreply 44May 26, 2023 2:27 PM

I’m Jane Connell’s baby bump.

by Anonymousreply 45May 26, 2023 10:20 PM

I'm the super racist portrayal of Ito.

by Anonymousreply 46May 27, 2023 1:03 PM

R41 Lucy put her own money into this ? Why ?

by Anonymousreply 47May 27, 2023 1:20 PM

R47. I told her not to.

by Anonymousreply 48May 27, 2023 3:05 PM
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