Whose Kept Boy Would You Want To Be?

I read Elton's autobiograhy, which was moderately entertaining, and there are two reasons I'd pick him as a sugar daddy in spite of his nasty bitchy temper:

1: I could meet a hell of a lot of interesting people, and

2: He's such a voyeur that I'd barely have to touch him or his dick. He'd rather I got it on with hot guys, and is that a win-win or what!

Peter Thiel. Yes, I think he's a total cunt, but he's one of the younger on the list, but more importantly, unlike the rest, is at the centre of the zeitgeist. Including anti-aging meds. I'd just make sure I got the deeds to the multimillion dollar pad and bank account in my hands before he got the deeds to my sphincter.

Drifting around the world on a superyacht with an old Jewish retired showbiz luvvie like Geffen ("Please Poppa, no more Cher stories, please, I beg!") would be a recipe for suicidal boredom.

Julian and Landon (I saw a pic of Julian hugging Drew Schiff earlier this week).

Speaking of suicide, r2…

You might be safer crossing Putin.

OP, Bryan Singer would not be interested in an elderly 25-year old.

Stein Erik Hagen seems the least repulsive of these guys

Who would want Elton rolling on top of them at night?

I didn't know who Stein Erik was but figured he must be the best of the bunch just by looking at this sad list.

Lindzebelle's. He's only got a few years left, and the ghostwritten book contracts after would set me up for life.

Do we have to have sex with Lindz or can we just fan him while he lays on the fainting couch?

None. They're all white and old.

Pedro Pascal

R11 gurlina, that is the point. If you are gonna be a boy toy the chances are it is gonna be to an older white man on position of power.

R11, what about me? I can take you on one of my Crow-funded vacations

Geffen's so I don't end up dead.

Prince George.

I'd set up in front of some bum porn and Tim-o-thay vids to keep him occupied, nick off down to the pub with Cam, come back with her pissed, suggest we do tiara try-ons down the vault, and then pocket enough sparklers to retire in luxury for life.

Wenner pulling way into the lead with 31.7%

Followed by Geffen at 22% and Hagen at 19.5%

The Senatrice is in last place with just 2.4%

For me it would a toss-up between Peter Thiel and Bryan Singer. They are the youngest and hottest of the group.

TWENTY-FIVE?!?!?!?!?

What do you think I am, a WRINKLE CHASER?

They are all horribly old. I choose Macron. No I wouldn't get rich but the intrigue would be fun as would the fucking.

Who can translate this article from Norwegian?

I think it’s got details on Stein Erik Hagen’s boy toy.

The Senatrice is no billionaire. But Giorgio Armani is...I choose him. He's got just enough time left to put me in the will.

R22, I am a billionaire when it comes to coquettish charm.

I can't believe you cunts turn one of the worst people in the world into something funny. He is literally evil, more so than Cockgobbler (though maybe not as evil as Thiel). He would be as evil as Trump if he had the power, and you morons turn him into something you think is cute. Of all the Datalounge idiocies, this is the most idiotic, the least comprehensible.

[quote]I can't believe you cunts turn one of the worst people in the world into something funny.

And I can't believe that you've spent any time on DL and wouldn't believe such a thing.

Also, which of the worst people are you discussing? This is DL, so there are plenty from which to choose.

Tom Ford

If there were EVER a DL poll that needed a Vivian Vance option...

Is Barry Diller a billionaire?

Y'all do not know how to whore it up. You go for the big fish. You go for the money and the power. You go for the one who leaves you with a voting-class broad-markets portfolio, with solid real estate, and, if you're smart enough to negotiate a good pre-nup, a percentage of equity. Cash, while tempting, is of secondary concern.

In other words, you whore yourself out to Peter Thiel. Emotion and conscience do not apply at this level. Unless you can live your every day with laser-like detachment, you do not even play this game. You will come out on the short end every time. Thiel is your man.

I’ve always found Barry Diller hot. I’d do him for free, no strings.

[quote]Thiel is your man.

That's probably what the dead boyfriend thought...

[quote]In other words, you whore yourself out to Peter Thiel.

And prepare to die at the hands of his minions should you fuck up.

[quote]I’ve always found Barry Diller hot. I’d do him for free, no strings.

In my salad days he eyed me up in a very dead gay bar.

I was nice-looking but nothing exceptional; I'm sure if there had been more than four or five people there I would have been beneath his notice.

Peter Thiel = Kiss of Death

R20, I hope you are a 65-year-old woman.

That’s Macron’s type.

I don't see a Bloomberg option on my screen...?

R2 peter thiel is like a guy from that hostel movie, he's that dark.

Cameron Mackintosh.

Peter Thiel is the equivalent of a 21st century vampire.

This is a genuine Sophie's choice - if Sophie hated all her children with a fiery passion of a thousand burning suns.

What about Tim Cook?

Or Lord Browne?

This is not going well. You all are too old for Bryan Singer and Peter Thiel gets people whacked.

[quote]he is super interested in young people’s blood, which he hopes to transfuse into his aging body to preserve his own vitality, a process called parabiosis.

Because why engage in something as pedestrian as eating healthfully and exercise when you can spend money on crazy.

Buddy, for someone who thinks science is the answer, avoiding the undeniable fact that he's aged laughably since r39's pic from 2016 and today is absurd.

Also, for all he wants to stamp his feet and complain, he certainly engages in all the worst parts of being gay. Being outed probably actually made his life much less stressful, but his ego would never let him admit it. He's the worst thing since H.

Yeah, what about Tim Cook? The last I ever saw (some years ago) it was some gaysian gym bunny

Tim Cook's into Asians?

Larry Ellison is also obsessed with life extension -- funny how billionaires seem to think they deserve to live forever solely because they got lucky in business.

Stein Erik is European and by default is at least slightly more tolerable and almost attractive.

I'm into kept boys. Call me!

Found it R45, it was Ben Ling (Stanford, Google, ...?), no one knows who it is now

R21 Here's your Norwegian article put through google translate.

His boyfriend is hardly a boy. He's 47.

R1 You sound like a class act.

Since the choices aren't even all billionaires, I'd go for merely really rich and choose either Tom Ford or RDJ.

RDJ would be my first choice as I think his company would be genuinely enjoyable and he'd be interested in creative endeavors. Plus if you do him a favor he seems very loyal in return. And I find him super-cute even at the age of 58.

Tom Ford is in great shape, has interesting taste and is also no dummy.

If I could travel back in time YSL might be my third choice, although evidently he was difficult to manage.

I would have done it for Sam Adams. Younger Sam, anyway. He seems a bit of a mess these days.

[Quote] before he got the deeds to my sphincter.

[Quote] For me it would a toss-up between Peter Thiel and Bryan Singer. They are the youngest and hottest of the group.

🤣🤣🤣

Very cute, R49!

And WHET to Lord Browne's young adventuress, Miss Chevalier?

[Quote] Since the choices aren't even all billionaires, I'd go for merely really rich and choose either Tom Ford or RDJ.

Right? Who says you have to stick with a billionaire?

That's easy, a Scottish recluse named Dick Madden.

Robert Downey Jr? Weird choice

I'd be a kept boy for Bruce Willis

R58, why?

Taste is subjective, but I see no weirdness about it.

Tom Ford

Because RDJ is still good-looking enough that he would not need to be a sugar daddy R60

Certainly not in the way a David Geffen or even Thiel would

RDJ hasn't been good-looking in years

R63 = Johnny Depp.

R55, Chevalier was a cutie

I agree. Tim Cook should've been on this list. I would've gone with either Cook or Geffen (who is the richest one on the list). Hagen and Wenner are a little too thickums for me. If you're going to be older, then you have to be trim. Klein is a desiccated, knobby walking stick of a mummy corpse and not yet a billionaire. Thiel is a death wish waiting to happen. He'll kill you for not wearing a gel mask to bed. Singer is out of work, an FBI raid waiting to happen, and not a billionaire. Graham is truly revolting in many ways and not a billionaire. This list wasted three spots. OP is an amateur!

I'd be Brad Pitt's bedwarmer, he can be my Daddy, and he can spank my naked butt anytime, and do many other unspeakable erotic things to me,, I won't say no... :-)

If I’m going to be a kept boy, I’m going to go with whoever has dentures because then at least the blowjobs will feel good!

Wenner still in the lead at 22.1%

Thiel coming on strong at 18%

Geffen falling back to 13.1%, trailed closely by the Norwegian at 12.2%

Thiel is messy, but he is only 55.

Why would anyone want to be Elton John’s kept boy? He’s old, fug and not even a billionaire like the others.

"Imagine, if you will that you are a 25 year old model-actor-bartender with a smoking hot body and a large thick penis."

If I could imagine that, I can certainly imagine myself as rich and successful on my own, and not needing to fuck some old rich asshole to make ends meet.

R71, the billionaire might be cheaper than the multimillionaire. Level of generosity is what count$$.

R2, you in danger, girl!

Calvin was snapped on Easter going grocery shopping for sushi in Beverly Hills.

If you were his boy, you may not have to worry about sex, because he might be afraid he'd break a bone.

Geez, Calvin looks near death

Peter Thiel. Always wanted to sleep in a glass coffin

Elton John now pushing Geffen out of third place, 14.3% to 13.1% behind Thiel, 17.5% and consistent frontrunner Wenner, who maintains a strong lead with 22.3%.

Why do so many of you want to give up your asses to Jan Wenner?

R78 maybe because he actually married and is still with his boytoy. And he publicly acknowledged his marriage instead of treating it like a dirty secret.

Since no one's mentioned Christian Angermayer, I guess that means he's mine!

Besides being worth over a billion, he's young-ish, at least decent in the looks department, very stylish with good taste in art, and best friends with Julian & Landon.

Thiel, but it would terrify me. I have HIV so at least he doesn't want my blood.

Calvin is 80. But wow. Looks frail.

R80 Potential four-ways with Julian & Landon at his London penthouse.

I would choose Shawn Mendes

Elton, for sure.

But only if I didn't have to fuck him.

What about Chris Hughes?

[quote] "Tom Ford"

He still looks pretty good, but I'd be tempted at every turn to slap the shit out of him, and possibly set him on fire. His pretentious attitude is insufferable. I really like his work, but I can't fucking stand him.

I chose Hagen. Elton would've been fine around 1970. Or even into the early 1980s, around the time of the sham marriage.

Paul Reubens'. No billions but I like a man that makes me laugh.

Does anyone know for sure who Drew Schiff's main benefactor is? I know there's an American guy in London called Jeff Holland who he used to be paid by (but Jeff has moved on to a different paid long term Twink), then there is Thiel and his bf who he has been in the company of lots of times and there is another British guy who is an art dealer called Glenn Wright who always has a coterie of muscle boys accompanying him on yachts and first class flights including Miss Drew. He also has been holidaying with Elton and David so they've no doubt had a go. Is he the Super kept boy of kept boys? He seems to do zilch for a living and be in a different country every other day.

Oh to be young, hot and a high class whore.

There's probably some closet cases in Middle East. Why else do so many instahos hang out in Dubai?

I'm sure there's plenty of closeted sheiks who want to hook up with young, hunky guys

Which daddy was funding Drew Schiff's terrible pop videos?

Actually Giorgio Armani although he aint on the list!

r46 Is Larry Ellison gay?

Calvin Klein could play Nosferatu.

Don’t rich fucks have servants to buy their sushi?

Another post by a ludicrous idiot.

None of those listed, but definitely someone I work with.

R92 wow truly cringeworthy. I enjoyed how awful it is. He would look better with a buzz cut.

Who is Calvin with these days?

If we can include fictional elderly sugar daddies, I want to bend over for Frank on Succession.

Isn't Michael Kors a billionaire?

R101 It was reported that Kors became a billionaire ca. 2014. But more recently, sources having been saying that he's dropped to the measly $600 million range.

And if Kors still owns a lot of stock in Capri Holdings, then his assets might be even lower now, because the company's stock fell 23% in February 2023.

Peter Thiel = Dick of Death

Peter Theil. Say what you want about his politics but he is a good looking man and rich, rich, rich!

Just don’t open any windows.

r102 His clothes as far as I can discern have never made it big in the UK and Europe in the way Versace, Calvin Klein and Giorgio Armani have. Is he really only big in the US?

Mark Consuelos

Geffen. I love his yacht

I'd like to sip champagne on a yacht

I could stand fucking Thiel. The others, hell no!

Vivian Vance's

What about GT Dave, the Kombucha guy? He's openly gay and worth around a billion

Tyler Perry, full stop. He has really good taste in men so my fellow harem hoes would be hot. Also I would not mind having sex with TP either

Sam Altman is worth a few hundred million, I think

R111 and extremely creepy.

Bon Jovi's.

He's not gay

Peter Thiel, he's deplorable but the most fuckable of the lot. Plus, he's the wealthiest.

Probably Hagen, followed by Wenner.

The others are too petty/vindictive or too unattractive, no matter how high the compensation.