Cheating

OP? You’re an emotional vampire.

No R1, I'm working on something and just need some real life accounts.

Partner with terminal illness like issue and my fear of being alone, wanting someone waiting in the wings.

R3 people who leave or cheat on very ill partners garner so much stick and moral outrage, but tbh I can imagine the loneliness and pressure and depressing nature of a relationship like that would drive anyone to seek solace with another.

Ha ha

[Quote]If you're in an open relationship, the question doesn't apply.

But it does. Open relationships typically have rules. Break those rules and you're a CHEATER.

Exactly R2. Emotional vampire.

Use your own imagination instead.

R6 that bio at the link...tf lol?

A real 'greaser punk malcontent' would not be posting on Tumblr in 2023

Oi got in troobull wiv moy Dadday coz oi let the lad oi share a car to work wiv fück mey wivvout asskin him first.

So now moy boyfriend en’t talking to me, even thow he normullay lets me get wiv who oi want, an’ oi sed oim sorray an’ oi still lüv him😞Oi down’t get how that’s cheating yennow?

Dating someone before. Broke up but still fucking. Got with other person. Continued to fuck both for awhile. That's how

I’ll bite. My partner gained a lot of weight a couple of years ago, and lost his sex drive. I begged him to get himself together. I tried to take him out to exercise with me. He refused. I still loved him, but needed sex. I am now not even sure if I love him anymore, but we own a home jointly and aren’t young. It seems like a pain in the ass to leave. I have been on Grindr for a year or so.

[quote] Broke up but still fucking.

Sex with an ex is a whole other topic and question. It seems to take a certain personality type to enjoy it. The awkwardness and recrimination and baggage would be too much for me, impeding any pleasure at all.

Right place, right time - fun side fling, still going.

I often wonder why it is that, generally speaking, the less confident/fatter/less attractive is the one who never cheats. The more attractive/outgoing one is usually the "cheater." I suppose being less desirable makes one less inclined to cheat. They are just happy to have anyone at all?

R14 that's not usually the case with straight people. Ime it's always some unspeakably fugly paunchy short man cheating on his pretty wife/gf because a skinny blond ratchet barfly made eye contact with him.

I would ask my partner to open up the relationship, but he would never agree because he is overweight and socially awkward, r14. I do agree that it’s a bit different for straight people. I have known some ugly, fat straight people who cheat to make themselves feel better.

I had a belittling, controlling partner, so I cheated in a passive aggressive way with someone who was in the same situation. He ultimately stayed with his partner, I got my mojo back over the next couple of years and left. Both partners found out, and made our lives a living hell.

We are not cheaters. More than you believe, we are not. Why people say this, I don't know.

Is the cheating happening because your partners are letting themselves go?

I've thought about it very often. I love my partner and he gives me security and love, but our sex life has never been great. I don't think he's ever really given me an orgasm. Now, it's gone down to maybe once a year and we're not even old. I'm in my 30s and he's in his 40s. I want to have a conversation about opening up the relationship, because the idea of going through 10-50 more years of this doesn't sound appealing.

Hi there. This is a test.

R17, I fear the living hell. My partner has already figured out that I’m not into him, and has been complaining to my friends that I have been avoiding him. He is making himself the victim. He has no friends of his own. Literally zero friends or hobbies. He is telling people that he was depressed (I begged him to go to a doctor for over two years, but he insisted that he wasn’t depressed). It’s so manipulative, and frankly a turn off. He will steal every single one of my friends, with his hard luck story, if I get caught. I should probably just leave. When I bring up leaving, he calls my friends and complains too. People sympathize with him, because he is great at playing the victim card.

R22, if he doesn’t have any friends of his own I doubt your friends actually like him. My ex also had no friends, and was good at the divide & conquer game. I thought I had lost them all. Turns out they really didn’t like him, but didn’t want to make waves.

"I am assuming that no one sets out to cheat."

Yes, it does sometimes "just happen" without affirmative malice or planning, but plenty of people set out to cheat.

[quote]r22 My partner has already figured out that I’m not into him, and has been complaining to my friends that I have been avoiding him.

Why are you still with him? It sounds awful.

When I saw the half rotted cucumber just lying on the ground after I accidently knocked over my neighbor's garbage can, I knew I had to have it up my butt. My broomstick never found out.

r4 = John Edwards

OP, Ive been married ~8 years and I’m in my 30s. I cheated because of a newly discovered sexual fetish, which I won’t name b/c it would distract from the point (to clarify, it’s legal and not that bizarre these days). I was honest with my partner about my new interest from the beginning. I told him I was increasingly preoccupied with it in porn and that I felt very conflicted about liking it. He was not upset or concerned in the least and he offered to try it with me. We did initially, but my partner was uncharacteristically insensitive about the attempt. It was uncomfortable and it was embarrassing. I talked to him about my discomfort and embarrassment and he acted insensitively about it.

I’m not 16 y/o and I don’t want to fumble around experimenting at my age. I’m very insecure about the fetish and it is, to the degree I’m into it, a skill which requires experience and abundant confidence as well as a particular headspace. I don’t want to ‘try’ with someone inexperienced nor do I want to introduce it into our love making. I don’t associate it with love or the specialness of our bedroom romance. It would be a weird purple elephant in the room if it became a common element and at the end of the day my partner isn’t naturally or innately into it, so he can’t properly lead or follow the energy, no matter how many times we would try.

I found guys who are experienced and into it and it’s the only way I can express that side of my sexuality. I continue to talk to my partner about it, but not the isolated and strictly-professional ways I experience it outside of our relationship.

I don’t feel good about cheating. We are otherwise monogamous and happily so. We discussed open relationships from the beginning and throughout our marriage. Neither of us have a problem with it, and neither of us desire to stray ourselves. This fetish is just a sideshow every now and then and it’s very satisfying to experience it with guys I’m not interested in pursuing anything with, other than a strictly defined recreation.

Is it double penetration R28?

Sounds like BDSM to me, R29.

R28 You also have diarrhea of the keyboard. Good grief.

R31 please excuse. I thought it required some context.

R28

Scat?

Fisting is my guess.

R22 he sounds awful, and even potentially insidious and dangerous—keys to the street.

And I say that as a friendless hobbyless loser myself. I’m fucked up and alone, but I would never try to poison and gaslight someone’s own friends against them. What in the sociopathic hell.

I cheated long in the past. One big part of that was my own lack of interpersonal and communication skills. Another big part was that leaving an unstable relationship isn't easy - if you're with someone who threaten themselves or behaves histrionically, confronting them is pretty scary. It isn't easy to just cut ties and move on with your life when you have to go through an unpredictable catastrophe to make that happen.