My doc gave me three days worth of Librium to quit drinking. I actually helped.

No, I've never used librium for alcohol withdrawal.

OP, do you plan on going to group therapy?

How many times have you tried to quit drinking?

Give me Librium or give me meth!

Congratulations on taking steps to stop drinking. Do whatever you need to stop the cycle. I didn't leave the house for 5 or 6 days so I wasn't tempted to go and get a few bottles of wine. I didn't use any medications, I just went to online AA meetings to keep me busy, watched TV, played games on my phone to keep my mind off alcohol, looked up things online about withdrawal, downloaded a sobriety app to my phone. Just whatever I could that would help.

Just take it one step at a time. Keep up the good work.

I went into detox twice and came out drinking more than ever. I tried AA but it seemed to be everyone talking about drinking, how much they enjoyed it until something awful happened. Most were there for DUIs. I was ready to give up when my doc warned me I HAD to quit. He suggested trying to ease group theraphy online to see if that would help. The librium and the death threat seems to have helped.

R3 Thanks. I find that keeping myself busy helps me more than talking about drinking but if it work for some people, good for them.

r4 I haven't been to any meetings in a few weeks. They were kind of a means to end for me...i really just needed to keep hearing some of the same shit I'd been doing to really solidify that this was it.

Also, it kept me busy and focused on my goal. But I don't begrudge anyone doing whatever they need to to keep them moving forward and away from drinking. If it works for them, they should keep it up.

I'm 6 days away from 5 months of sobriety.

Op Go on YouTube and read the positive benefits of giving up liquid poison . It’s a beautiful thing that will make you feel young and alive again ! Optimism and passion will return . It’s all a wonderful thing

A former coworker also used Librium to quit alcohol and it worked for him. Apparently it works for some, but not everyone.

i am proud of you, op

Stay strong OP

Just stop drinking, moron.

If you can just stop, there would be no alcoholics

alcohol is the fermented and distilled liquids (water) from fruits, vegetables and grain. Why is it so destructive?

Shut up fag ,R11

R6 you will drink again if you don't go to AA meetings. Shop around for a group you like. There's gay AA. You might even get laid or meet a husbear.

[quote]you will drink again if you don't go to AA meeting And they say AA isn't a cult.

AA is a tool for quitting, and there are many tools out there (not just the asshole kind lol). I used AA when I needed it, and grew out of being a regular user of it. Now I have other tools that help me stay sober: being happy to be alive, going for hikes any time I want to without being hung over, gardening, projects, etc.

I don't begrudge anyone for using AA as a regular part of their life if they need to. I don't really need to right now, but it's there if I DO need it. I've replaced my drinking habit with other things that make me happier and bring me a sense of joy and accomplishment.

I hope that OP gets to that point too. Life is so much better without having that massive wine bottle on my shoulder, constantly telling me I need to make sure I don't run out, etc. It just became too much work and money to maintain anymore, for so little payoff.

R6 Thanks for the comments. I need group support and am looking into the poster above who mentioned YouTube options. I have problems with face to face groups. I don't know why but they seem to be very victimized. I'm sorry for saying that.

Didn’t they give Regan Librium in the book version of The Exorcist (maybe the film too). I read it as a teen & to this day I confuse Librium & Lithium.

Please google Lithium and Librium! Two very different drugs for different purposes.

If you want to quit, you’ll quit. If you want to keep drinking, you’ll keep drinking.

The math isn’t really a mystery. I mean, it’s unlikely anyone’s funneling vodka down OP’s throat.

R21 FU

^^ [italic] drinking

OP here. I only lasted 5 days without drinking again. The binge lasted a week and my shame overwhelmed me. I became paralyzed with depression. There's no other way to describe it. Then FOUR days ago, I decided I just couldn't live that way and quit again. So I'm going on day 5 of sobriety (again!) and hoping to stay with it this time.

When my dad was being treated for alcoholism, they gave him Librium. This was back in the 80's. It helped him, too. I'm glad to hear its helping you, OP.

OP, you might want to check out the Reframe and Monument apps.

The podcast Sober Powered is good too.

How much were you drinking daily when your doctor said you had to quit or else?

Yes, I'd like to know the answer to r27 's question as well.

Also, leave your shame behind (although it sounds like you already have, because you're 5 days newly sober!). It takes what it takes, and that you picked yourself up, brushed yourself off and went back at it anew shows courage and determination! Keep your head up, your eyes on your next step and know that you can do this. If I can do it, YOU CAN TOO.

I believe in you. If you want it, you CAN achieve it.

I would drink a large bottle of vodka in two days.

That's pretty heavy, OP. A handle of vodka shows that it's 30 drinks worth, so 15 a day. I only went a brief cheap vodka phase about 5 years ago when I was living in my car and as it wasn't sustainable, it didn't last very long.

When I quit last November, I was drinking two 750 ml bottles of wine a night.

Thank you all for your support, especially the success stories. R17, I am so sick of being sick. R26 I appreciate the support group names. And, yes, R30, it was a brutal amount of booze every day - started when I woke up and continued into the night, after I usually passed out in the afternoon. I, too, need to find things, or maybe re-discover, things that make me happy and make me want to be a part of this world again. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself.

You know what they say in AA: try 90 meetings in 90 days, and if you don't like it, we'll gladly refund your misery right back to you.

I went to a gay AA meeting for years. There were usually around six of us (I was the only lesbian). It was a lot easier to talk about what was going on with a small group like that. There are small meetings out there.

Just a thought.

Take it a day at a time. You have two choices everyday , one will bring you freedom , one will bring you misery . Make the right choice.

OP here. I've failed again. I have an appointment to see my doctor on Monday and I've been drinking for the last three days. I'm so ashamed. Yes, I have excuses but I'm ashamed to be seeing him Monday. I am such a liar and he is the one person I can be honest with. I'm afraid he will give up on me. Fuck this. Why can cigarette smokers get so many options to quit but alcoholics get nothing? Why don't we have a patch? Have we killed the tobacco industry but encouraged alcohol?

I use an old family recipe derived from the hair of a very high-proof dog.

OP, you'll eventually get it. Everyone in the program has been where you are. Alcoholism is a demoralizing and awful condition, and one of its symptoms is an inability to control one's drinking. Sounds like you have it and are honest enough to acknowledge loss of control. In AA language, that's considered completion of step 1.

While potentially fatal, the good news is that alcoholism is treatable. Find some in-person meetings if you can. We're pulling for you.

Almost nobody successfully quits drinking the first time. You go through several attempts before the process and motivation working together allow you to succeed long-term or permanently. It's normal to feel a sense of shame because you didn't succeed. The fact that you are really trying is admirable. Keep it up, you'll get there.

Keep trying OP. Don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

After a decade of almost daily drinking vodka, I quit drinking and looking back on it I wish I had went to AA or rehab.

I quit cold turkey and had a very painful 5 days.

The last night I drank, I fell backwards onto an end table and scratched/cut my back, and then fell to the floor and passed out. I was alone.

The next morning when I came to, I felt wetness on my face and hands and realized that while I was passed out, I vomited three times. Twice while laying on my right side and once while I was laying on my left side.

That scared me bad enough that I gave up alcohol and I haven’t had a drink since Labor Day, 2021.

OP - I'm glad to see you post again, and proud of you that you came back to admit your failure. Like others are saying (and I 100% agree), sometimes it takes several attempts before things fall in place. Whether it's the method, the willingness, whatever...it's WORTH repeated efforts to keep trying to stop. We are pulling for you - you've shown your desire by revisiting this thread a few times. I don't know if you've heard of Naltrexone, but it is a drug that blocks the pleasure receptors when you drink and may be able to help you. The caveat is YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT EVERY DAY. And while you do, throw everything you can at the wall to change your habits/routines/whatever.

Here are some things I did last time to stop drinking:

Think about the things you used to enjoy doing and maybe haven't done in awhile and start work on steps to restart one or more hobbies;

Think about things you've WANTED to try and look into how you can get involved and start doing them;

Download a sobriety app that keeps track of your seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, health regained, money saved, weight loss, other milestones (I loved that and still use mine!);

Download some games on your phone that will keep your mind busy when you get the urge and maybe take your mind off your urges - sometimes it can take less than 1/2 hour for a craving to pass!

HALT - are you Hungry/thirsty (not for booze, truly maybe need to take in some fluids), Angry, Lonely or Tired? These can be reasons why we turn to drinking because these things are not being addressed and maybe need to be;

If you go out to a bar to drink, stop going there and find someplace else to go where you might find companionship/enjoyment/fun. If you drink when you're alone, identify the times you would most likely be apt to have a drink and be sure to be out of the fucking house then - maybe taking a walk or hike or bike ride or ANYTHING else enjoyable.

End your procrastination (if that might be something you do): if you have ANY projects or things you've been meaning to do, even if they're going to take some time to do them, START DOING THEM. Find ANYTHING you can do to keep yourself busy and start ticking off that TO DO list.

Research any and all support group options and try and all of them: AA, SmartRecovery, LifeRing, there are so many of them out there and some work for some people. Everyone's different and one program that works wonderfully for Person A might not work at all for Person B. It doesn't mean it's a bad program, it just means it's not a fit for that person at that particular time for whatever reason. Just try something/anything even if it's just to try it out and see how it fits for you. Some people really need some very strict structure put in place to help them with this. That's ok.

And this goes for whatever you do: try to start noticing WHEN and WHY you feel the urge to drink. Are there particular events/triggers that cause you to want to drink? Is it a routine? A reward? This will help you develop a good, solid and successful plan as you start your journey...so you know what measures you need to take. You may even start by really drilling down on the last "failure" you had and analyze what happened/what went wrong in your opinion. Maybe it's boredom, maybe it's depression, maybe it's loneliness, maybe it's self esteem. Maybe it's pain - physical or emotional. It could be a combo of any of that and other things not mentioned.

Sorry this is so long, I'm just thinking through what i've been through these past 6 months and was hoping to help you out in some way.

Keep trying, OP! We're all here for you, cheering you on and hoping for the best for you!!

Be well :)

Look up the freedom model Op .

R40's parade has everything but the mustached men with wide brooms sweeping behind the elephants at the end.

How many meetings has OP gone to? 90 meetings in 90 days is encouraged.

R43, 90 in 90 is indoctrination.

They’re just an hour long.

Or OP can keep boozing it up in shame. It’s really up to him.

Typical gaslighting from Stepper .

You have not failed. You’re battling a demon. It might take some tries. It’s an accomplishment every time you take a day off.

Understanding that AA might not be for you, maybe a sponsor would be? Maybe there’s another way to get one.

OP I started daydrinking during the pandemic and it got really out of control. Not a handle of vodka in two days, but drinking cocktails every day from about 11 am to evening. And I stopped doing all the things I used to love that were healthy.

In September 2022 I started an out-patient program where I have recovery coaches come to my house three times a week, plus I do zoom therapy every week and I'm also doing acupuncture once a week. At first I was like "well this is too easy to cheat, I can still drink whenever I want, this is silly." And I for sure had some slip-ups at the beginning. But when people are rooting for you, validating you, listening to you, and believing in you, a funny thing happens. You start listening to them. Their support and respect for you becomes contagious, and you start to remember how to love yourself again. You stop wanting to hurt yourself, and you start reaching for a higher quality of life. It's just this inexplicable thing that happens.

I guess my point is, whether it's AA or another program, maybe an outpatient one like mine, your prognosis for recovery is much higher when you have other people seeing you and mirroring your worth back to you. Isolation allows addiction and shame to thrive. Seeking out support from other people, and the vulnerability that comes with allowing that support into your life, will dismantle that shame. Addiction is fueled by shame. You need to be seen and heard by others. You need to stop isolating. AA, AAA, AARP, I don't care. Get plugged in to some kind of community and allow the alchemy of being seen and cared for to heal you.

Don't feel shame, feel you can get better and work towards the goal of regaining your health

Wow, really good information in this thread.

Self love / self care op

Shame is a trap to keep you stuck.

What do you guys think? I had a friend who was the nicest and a gentleman but when he drank, he turned into another person, spewing hate, using N word, anti semitic etc.

I cut off ties with him. Which is the real him?

R53 I have no proof to back this up, but I would bet that the hateful version that comes out when he drinks...is his dad. He had an abusive, bigoted, horrible father. And he is fragmented inside from trauma and needs, like, a really killer therapist.

It's not about good or bad, its about healthy vs unhealthy and people do recover. Their health

Tho not everyone recovers. People die drunk every day.

[quote] Fuck this. Why can cigarette smokers get so many options to quit but alcoholics get nothing? Why don't we have a patch?

Isn't Librium a "patch"? I've quit both smoking and drinking and smoking was harder to quit.

OP, the good thing is that you're being honest with your doctor. Keep on being honest with him (or her).

The HALT thing sounds corny but it does work.

H = Hungry

A = Angry

L = Lonely

T = Tired

If you're any one of these 4 things, watch out. Do something to address it. E.g., eat something.

I fully support the food thing. When I first stopped in November, I stocked up the fridge with a bunch of food - healthy as well as junky - just so I could go and get something/anything that I could put in my mouth and feel satisfaction from. I didn't lose ANY weight the first 2 1/2 months after stopping drinking because I definitely was fulfilling my body's carb cravings. I didn't GAIN any weight either...the food substituted for the amount of calories I was drinking.

Now, I'm 10 days shy of 6 months and I've lost 25 lbs. I started walking a lot, then started back hiking which is something I really enjoy(ed) when I wasn't drinking. I focused on getting healthy, eating more fruits and vegetables, going to the doctor and addressing some health issues that I had neglected (and developed after a long period of heavy drinking), began taking some prescriptions and vitamin supplements to help me for my deficiencies I had developed as a result of drinking and not eating food (very much). I'm very health focused on me and treating myself well. I'm taking care of myself as I would a pet or a child. I decided to "get busy living" and turned away from "get busy dying" - and I'm glad I have.

^^Oh yeah, meant to add my mantra in the first few months (re: food/eating):

"Better to be chunky than drunky!"

Hang in there!!

For those reading this, if you're a heavy drinker, if you need to drink first thing in the morning, if you get the shakes, please, please, please, hear me: don't quit cold turkey. It is a horrible idea. You need medical supervision. Alcohol is one of the very few drugs that can kill you when you abuse it but that can also kill you when you quit it.

OP, do you remember how much librium the doctor gave you for three days. I know patients that needed up to 200 mg librium the first couple of days to stop shaking, and this is a giant dose. Also funny that we don't have librium in Europe, so we use valium instead.

[quote]R61 if you're a heavy drinker, if you need to drink first thing in the morning, if you get the shakes, please, please, please, hear me: don't quit cold turkey. It is a horrible idea. You need medical supervision. Alcohol is one of the very few drugs that can kill you when you abuse it but that can also kill you when you quit it.

I heard from an AA old timer that back in the day, when they went to someone’s house to help see them through withdrawal, they’d bring wine in case the person went into convulsions.

R61 Sorry, I don't remember the strength of the Librium doses. I'm seeing my doctor on Monday, the first time since I "quit" for 6 days after the Librium treatment. I need to be honest with him and tell him how I failed to carry through. I'm so frightened he'll give up on me. If I can't be honest with him, what's the point? At what point, will this 'quitting' take hold? It took me over a year to finally quit smoking. That was 30 years ago and I've never wanted a cigarette since. I want the same release from drinking. Please!

Weed. Become a pothead. So much healthier and medicinal. At first smoke as much as you can . Then tune it in more to fit a healthier lifestyle. If anyone says, you're just substituting one crutch for another. I say, yep, You got that right. Some people need crutches for the rest of their lives. While others can walk without them. No shame either way.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

How are you doing, OP?

Focus on nourishment op and sunshine and fresh air . Laughter is important too .

Viciously confront your parents about your childhood.

It’s this lack of closure that keeps you running into a lake of boooooze an’ dope.

Ur Dr would prob b more surprised if you actually quit on this attempt. (Tho will not be surprised—or fooled—when you lie 2 him.) just keep trying and being honest. As long as you can be honest with urself and/or others, you can recover.

OP is there a reason you're trying to white knuckle your way to sobriety on your own? Do you not have health insurance? Do you not have a friend or sibling or anyone to help you for a week or two? It just doesn't seem right that you are trying to do this all on your own, and then beating yourself up when you "fail." DUDE!!! HELLO!!! You need actually support!!!!

R70 I'm ashamed to admit to anyone about my drinking. I'm a high-functioning alcoholic and, if anything, people might think I'm a social drinker - although I seldom drink with friends. I prefer drinking alone or with strangers. I have good insurance and no reason except personal pride in not looking for support. I'm slowly coming to the realization that I can't do this by myself.

Please come back and update us or vent in this thread. we don't judge. I'm wishing you well and rooting for you OP!

OP, the shame will NEVER lift, until you come out of the closet so to speak and just admit the truth of where you are at vis-a-vis drinking.

[quote]I prefer drinking alone or with strangers.

Of course you do. Because you are living a double life. And it is killing you.

[quote]...no reason except personal pride in not looking for support

Your pride is killing you. Is this the hill you want to die on?

Hiding this from the world is not minimizing the shame in your shame bank. It's MAXIMIZING your shame. Because secrets and lies are inherently shameful, and lying is a shame-based behavior.

Look at it from the observer's point of view. How many times have you shamed someone for admitting they are battling an addiction and desperately want to heal? And who chose to be courageous and honest rather than duplicitous and arrogant? And allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to reach out for support?

If anyone is going to judge you for anything, it will be for: realizing that you have a serious hardcore drinking problem, and being a grown-ass adult, but then not reaching out for the infinite amount of support that is all around you.

Check out Smart Recovery as an alternative to AA.

OP / R71, you might think that you're high-functioning and that people think you're only a social drinker. Despite not being seen with a glass or a bottle in your hand, people are surprising good at picking up clues of alcoholism.

R75, is a sanctimonious AA judgmental hypocrite.

i'm the close to 6 months sober quitter. I drank alone like OP. I also got sober alone. I'm not condoning nor supporting that for OP. I just made sure I was stocked up on food and just holed up in my house for 5 days, didn't leave, played games, read up on stages of withdrawal and physical recovery, attended online AA meetings, watched tons of tv, ate tons of junk food, drank a lot of water and fruit juice, played some new games I downloaded on my phone to keep myself busy. i didn't even really tell my close family members what i was doing for a few days.

For about 2 months before i quit the last time, i "played" at not drinking for a day or two every week or so - sort of a dress rehearsal, although i didn't really think of it like that at the time. And in reality, on those days i just felt so ill i didn't want to get in the car and go down to get more wine. i felt sick. i think in the end when i finally took the plunge, those little "trials" kind of helped me to realize that i COULD do it when i was really ready.

[quote]r71 I'm ashamed to admit to anyone about my drinking. I'm a high-functioning alcoholic - OP

Or, are you really maybe our resident Anti-A.A. Troll?

We always get hand-wringing threads like yours here, where someone begs for help… then AA is called a cult when that’s suggested.

[quote]your prognosis for recovery is much higher when you have other people seeing you and mirroring your worth back to you. Isolation allows addiction and shame to thrive.

Not sure that OP lacks self-esteem, r48. As OP said at r18,

[quote]I have problems with face to face groups. I don't know why but they seem to be very victimized. I'm sorry for saying that.

Though apologetic, OP may be suffering from status paralysis. As a high-functioning alkie, OP can’t reconcile his self-image with having to admit that he suffers the same lack of control that affects other garden-variety alcoholics and addicts. It’s an obstacle to quitting drinking.

However, alcoholism is an equal-opportunity disorder, affecting people in every profession & employment, at the highest educational and accomplishment level, and those at the most ordinary. But it is a treatable malady, if OP decides to reach for support from the right addiction professionals or from fellow sufferers.

r79 has a point. I've had a drinking problem since my late 30s (only started drinking in my early 30s, never drank in my 20s or teens) and when I began to think I should look into getting help, I couldn't reconcile me being anything like the other people I saw as drunks and alkies at groups I'd go to, or bums/homeless people I'd see on the streets. How could I have anything in common with these people? I'd listen to their stories and felt like these people had REAL issues, and I had a great job, had never had any legal or driving issues, didn't miss work, etc. etc.

10 years on, things were different...I was missing work, making bad decisions, being irresponsible, drinking a lot. But STILL - i was employed, no legal issues, and yes...i'd broken a rib taking out the trash one time at midnight when i missed a step and fell onto a huge garden planter on my fall. A few years later, I moved out of my place, put my stuff into storage and started living in my car. I got a DUI. I was raped. I was in jail for 3 days. I pulled myself out of it (with the help of a friend), straightened stuff out, sobered up, worked through legal issues, got a job, etc. Moved out of friend's house to a place of my own, but had started drinking again...

I worked long hours from home and after work began drinking until I passed out every night. 2 years later, I (and eventually, all the other employees at my company) was laid off. I had made a lot of money and lived on it while drinking myself into a stupor every fucking night. My body suffered. I'd gained weight. I knew my health was really bad.

I had become those very people that I thought i had nothing in common with 20 years before. It's progressive. It gets worse. It's taken me a few times of sobriety and fucking up and thinking I could drink again for me to finally realize i just couldn't do it anymore. I was dying, because i was killing myself.

Maybe OP won't hear anything at all in there that resembles him. But if he keeps going, someday he will. All alcoholics walk the same path, even if the scenery or route looks different. Keep on walking down that road, and you may end up at a dead end unless you make a u-turn and decide you're going to go another way.

As much shit as I talk and sass I give and take on DL, I really like seeing real moments of humankind, brotherhood, sisterhood, kindness whatever it is. DL has a heart and if you've been around here as long as I have, you know you'll see it from time to time.

I drink more than I'd like. I'll make progress and then get back into a less the ideal routine. My partner is a heavy drinker and we have such a good time together. But I know it's not healthy. 2-3 Tequila and Sodas 3-4 nights a week. I also smoke a few bowls which makes me the happiest. I have cut back greatly with the booze and never drink wine anymore. I just sip tequila and soda and LOVE the taste and the buzz. Still I would like to sip one good tequila a night and stay stoned. Good luck to whatever you decide is your path forward, OP. Sending you all the positive and healing energy I can!

R80 Thank you for that share. What a long and winding road you've traveled to gain that wisdom. Proud of you!

OP, LA has dozens of zoom AA meetings all day long (an hour long). There are all kinds of groups. I think they also have some non AA groups. It’s a great resource. We’re pulling for you!

OP in the morning

[quote]Maybe OP won't hear anything at all in there that resembles him.

R80 Your story definitely resembles me. I am so grateful to read these posts. I know I'm not alone. It is a struggle but that is no excuse for not getting over it. We haven't talked about THE GENE. Is that a real thing? Is there such a thing as a genetic predisposition to alcoholism. I truly believe that's my problem - not that I can't beat it - but if it's genetic, is that like any other addiction? Smoking, eating, dope...how do we beat what we're born with?

The science says that genes are about 50% of the equation.

But love, genes don't hold a gun to your head and force you to drink. They only predispose you be compelled to keep drinking once you start.

Just fucking stop drinking. Do you get it yet? You don't get to drink anymore. Your membership to the drinking club has been revoked. It's over. No more. That's in the past. Okay? You can't drink no more. Please really get this through your head and walk through that door into Sobriety.

You will lose your cravings and you will regain your health. And you will feel like a goddamn boss.

Stop respecting alcohol as a logical reasonable option. You may love alcohol, but alcohol hates your guts.

Please make a list of hobbies you either used to have and dropped, or would like to get into.

Indulge yourself for a month, in any way you choose that isn't drinking. Massages, yummy foods, wonderful smelling bath products, new clothes....treat yourself like the king you are

Start touching grass. Seriously. They've shown that green spaces, even taken in visually, heal and regenerate several parts of the brain. Commune with nature.

Dude. This is your moment. The time has come. Walk through that door and never, ever look back.

And if the little devil on your shoulder starts to whisper in your ear, telling you lies? Before you head to the liquor store, sit down and write out a list of pros and cons of listening to that voice. Cons? Deep shame, regret, hangover, etc etc. Pros? Momentary numbing of feelings followed quickly by [see "cons." As they say in my outpatient program, "play the tape forward" to the part where you've had the drinks and then you feel like shit. You must remember, that voice telling you to drink is a liar. Play the tape forward to the part where you wake up filled with shame and regret. And then be a freaking badass and make a different choice.

R87, you rock

So you used Librium to physically detox? Now what?

R89, op Has many options other than bogus AA

Op, last year I made a thread about being a cocaine addict. I was doing cocaine from morning until night, sometimes staying up for 48 hours. I would do my errands and in between them, I would do lines off my cellphone screen. I was getting high at work and losing clients. Out for dinner? I made several trips to the bathroom stall. People started talking. I spent all of my savings on cocaine and gambling that year. I neglected basic things like paying my bills on time. I've now been clean off of it for a month. I, too, struggle with alcohol though fortunately not to that level - yet. You can do it. Don't give up.

[quote]r90 OP has many options other than AA

Many?

I don’t know that there’s “many.” There’s some.

I do know my sister bought a book about quitting. It was for people who didn’t want to dwell on alcohol, including focusing on recovering from addiction. It was for drinkers who just wanted to get on with things.

She’s drinking again.

R92, look at the success rate of AA lol. Why don’t you suggest to your sis about reading up on the freedom model, getting therapy, medication, proper nutrition and exercise…

AA is a cult! It’s their way or failure. You will die if you leave .

OMG the "AA is a cult" person always shows up in drinking related threads. Look, we get it - it didn't work for you or it took someone away from you that you cared for. How about you let each person have their own experience with (or without, whatever the case may be) it and decide for themselves? It works great for some, it helps some to quit because people are there and listening and supportive, it's free unless you want to donate, and it's just one of a few different ways to quit. Some people take things to the extreme when they are in it, others "take what they need and leave the rest." You can check out anytime you like, and you can ALWAYS leave.

Find some other drum to bang, Chicken Little.

R91, I remember your thread. I posted in it. Hang in there!

R87, I love your post. But remember, sometimes, you're not always going to feel like a rock star or a badass for choosing not to drink. You might even feel like a schmuck, frankly. Walking away while others party. That's part of life. There just are lots of mundane things you have to do, but they do all add up.

Once you've been a pickle, you can't be a cucumber, again. R87 is correct. Your drinking days are just done.

[quote]R93 look at the success rate of AA lol

How would one document the success rate of an anonymous organization where members are unregistered?

[quote]r93 Why don’t you suggest to your sis about reading up on the freedom model, getting therapy, medication, proper nutrition and exercise…

Because it’s her life. Apparently she wants to drink.

[quote] We haven't talked about THE GENE. Is that a real thing? Is there such a thing as a genetic predisposition to alcoholism. I truly believe that's my problem - not that I can't beat it - but if it's genetic, is that like any other addiction? Smoking, eating, dope...how do we beat what we're born with?

Yes, I believe it's genetic. OP, that's just how it is and you've got to stop looking for ways out of what is simply your situation, right now.

I have alcoholism on both my mom's and dad's side of the family. Plus depression and a suicide thrown in there.

Just put one foot in front of the other. Stop overthinking your situation. You may be genetically predisposed. Welcome to the club.

hey, OP. How's it going? If you're hung over, have a greasy breakfast and drink a ton of water, take a few ibuprofen and sit down so you can figure out two hobbies/pastimes BESIDES drinking that you can obsess over and occupy your time. They can be ones you've done, or ones you've always wanted to do. Either/or.

The time is now. Another day, another try. As we say in my family when faced with something with a good outcome but most probably fraught with slogging through some grunt work: "WE'RE **DOING** THIS!"

Let's go, now. Go fry up an egg or two, bacon/sausage and a few pieces of toast and start of your journey with a good breakfast/brunch!

God, I've been right where you are OP. The constant bargaining. Shame. Game playing. Mental gymnastics.

Like you, I was highly functioning. Until I wasn't.

And I didn't lose any friends. Even drunk, I was a good guy. Even a great guy. Mostly. My friends were worried, but they stuck around. Until a few didn't.

I was in great shape. Looked good. I had strong genes and didn't get the "alkie" look. Until I did.

And then? To make matters worse? My liver started to fail. I was young too. Late 30s. I turned bright yellow. Spent a week in the hospital. Basically a goner. I was all but dead.

Except I didn't die. I got lucky as fuck, as my doctor put it.

And I've never touched a drink since. Btw, I've never gone to AA once during my recovery. No god. I just have no desire to drink because I finally accepted I couldn't drink. I got fortunate in this respect. I know others need a more solid community.

But you don't need to go through all the fucking drama of life and death like I did. Trust me. Just stop. No ephemeral joy a drink gives you is worth the endless wreckage.

You've proven you're one of us. Come on over to the sober side. It's really quite nice once you settle in.

What r102 said.

I didn't turn yellow, but good God my liver fucking hurt. For at least 2 months after I quit drinking, if I'm honest. And because I didn't eat (because I drank, no appetite except for drinking more), I was deficient in all sorts of things: D, C, Iron, you name it. And my liver enzymes were shit.

But what r102 said is key. I have accepted I can't drink anymore. And I'm happier. I became so obsessive over it. It truly was what they always say: a really stinky, endlessly thirsty monkey on my back that controlled every damn thing I did. Everything.

So many indescribable benefits that happens when you give up the bad habit

Bimp

Bamp

Booze

Who did you actually help?

I’m glad it helped. Once I went to a doctor for Librium to stop drinking. He gave me a 90 day prescription. I guess he didn’t have a lot of faith in me.

OP here. I went back to the doctor two days ago. I was truthful and told him I wasn't able to go more than 5 days without drinking. Plenty of excuses but I told him there was no point in going through them and he agreed. I appreciate the fact that he understands it's almost impossible to quit the first...or the fifth...time. It's like when I quit smoking years ago; it took almost a year to finally quit. The plan now is I'm to start on Naltrexone to help with the urges. I'm to take a half tablet in the morning and half at night for a few nights and then take one pill every night, after food.

I thank everyone who has posted and is supporting my effort. I think DL has become my AA, my talk therapy. I especially thank the poster who wrote that the doctor would not berate me for failing, but would offer other options. I was afraid to see him, afraid of the disappointment and my own shame. The above poster was correct -- If he's a good doc (and he seems to be) he'll realize there is no overnight cure. Thank you for that.

Hey OP. You're very strong and brave. You have my utmost respect. Life is a struggle. We don't have to struggle alone. We are all here for you. Good luck and hang in there!

Just take it easy and keep trying OP.

Keep coming back.

R113, cult slogan with no real Meaning.

Ideas that helped me:

Tell yourself you only have to make it through today. If you want to have a drink tomorrow, ok. Do whatever it takes not to drink today—go to bed at 8pm, get a massage, drink a milkshake. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Pray for (make your 11:11 wish) the desire to drink to go away. Not that you won’t drink but freedom from even wanting to. The desire to drink will be lifted and that’s much easier than hoping to overcome it through willpower.

You should really check out an in person AA meeting. Choose a “speaker” meeting so there’s no pressure that you’ll have to speak. If for some reason you are put on the spot (you won’t be) say “I’m OP and this is my first meeting,” or “…and I’m just here to listen.” The first option is if you want to get to know people/throw yourself into it; they’ll all introduce themselves after and give you their #s. Find a gay men’s group with hot guys.

I have

OP, if it makes you feel better, you inspired me to quit smoking. I had started up again during the pandemic after a 25 year hiatus. It was ok for a couple years, I told myself, hey, how often is there a worldwide pandemic? But bringing that gross vice on into 2023 was bumming me out. It was making me feel shitty and toxic. Anyway, observing your openness with your struggle, and your sincerity and willingness to fall and get back on the horse until it sticks...well. I quit smoking. Sort of in solidarity with you. It's been five days.

Oh shit, wait -- you tend to fall off the wagon after five days!! Pray for me!!! I'll keep going if you keep going!

Or r115, op could call his insurance for a good therapist specializing in addictive behavior and trauma . Also, a nutritionist and fitness trainer. AA is unscientific, harmful nonsense . Such a time consuming suck for the rest of your life . So redundant

*hiccup!*

Here’s what is widely believed to be David Foster Wallace’s thoughts in AA and getting sober. There are a lot of fun, smart, hot people there.

I hope you're hanging in there, OP. I know it's hard. I watched my dad go through it. You can do it.

Hang in there, OP. And don’t be so hard on yourself if you relapse. We’re all creatures of habit and habits that help us drown out the world are hardest to break.

Don’t think there’s a silver bullet. But recognizing you need to stop is a great first step. But you’re not a bad person for struggling with it. (You’re a DLer so safe to assume you’re a bad person in general, but certainly not for having an issue with alcohol.)

How was your weekend OP? Don't be discouraged. Hang tough. one day at a time. we're all struggling with something in our lives.

Bad weekend. I need a reason to quit and I just can't find one to hang on to.

Maybe your method isn’t working and, if you want to quit, you could benefit from the help of the real time support available off-line.

keep trying and don't give up!

Get into therapy op

what's happening OP? how was your weekend? Hang in there.

OP, you may want to try Vivitrol, which is an injectable form of naltrexone that lasts for 30 days.

Naltrexone works, but you have to remember/want to take the pill daily. With Vivitrol, that decision is made for you, which helps.

Get on semaglutide (ozempic). Been on it for 8 weeks. Had no urges until one night I decided to drink wine. Never again. The hangover lasted 2 days and I wasn't 100% myself for a week. Also the drunk wasn't a happy one

Then bathe in milk.

Why, add an 'e' after the first 'i' and take away the second 'i' and you have my last name! LOL No I haven't tried Librium for drinking.

OP here. I was having a hard time, was bingeing on and off and finally became disgusted with myself again. My doctor was very understanding about how tough this is. I'm trying naltrexone (sp?) now, been on it for a week. The only side effect I'm having so far is that I'm having trouble sleeping. Other than that, I'm doing well. I feel better and more focused. Thanks to all the DLers who offered support and suggestions.

[quote] What do you guys think? I had a friend who was the nicest and a gentleman but when he drank, he turned into another person, spewing hate, using N word, anti semitic etc. I cut off ties with him. Which is the real him?

Both personalities are the "real him." I'd stay away from him, if possible.

[quote] I need a reason to quit and I just can't find one to hang on to.

What kind of reason are you looking for? Just keep racking up days sober. That will help. You won't want to ruin your streak.

Good luck OP. I quit smoking about 6 weeks ago and I'm trying to lessen the wine consumption per night. I'm taking my time - one addiction at a time. Might I suggest THC gummies to help your sleep. They seem to work for me. I eat a half of a gummy a little while before bed and they keep me asleep (I also take unisom sleeping pills).

As for a reason to quit drinking -think about your liver and all the other health related things that drinking alcohol impacts. For example,, I have a friend who has emphysema brought on by her drinking.

R135 Thanks for the tip about the gummies. You're right about my liver being a reason to quit. I have to keep remembering how drinking slowly destroys lives. It has already done damage to my face. I hope to lose the puffiness and ruddiness if I can stay sober but that's just vanity!

“ What do you guys think? I had a friend who was the nicest and a gentleman but when he drank, he turned into another person, spewing hate, using N word, anti semitic etc. I cut off ties with him. Which is the real him? Both personalities are the "real him." I'd stay away from him, if possible.

So stay away from people in AA/ NA . They are phony with narcissistic behavior

^^

Stay away from people with bad formatting, like r137

Reviving this thread.

OP, how are you doing?

Do we think OP is still amongst the living?

Hm. Okay. Hope you're doing all right, OP.

OP is drunk off his ass

Hang in there OP!

Tomorrow is a brand new start.

How are you, OP? I haven't read the above comments I just saw the thread.

[quote] Give me Librium or give me meth!

r2 Lol.