Let’s be Dallas Gays

I am the refusal to date seriously anyone working in the WHAM—waiters, hairdressers, actors or models.

I am the professional who takes your dick while drunk in a bathhouse but will not acknowledge your presence in public.

Dude is this you making all these threads. I’m about to make a spoof on you. Let’s be a let’s be ‘insert city’ gay, poster:

I’m the The Blvd of Broken dreams.

I am the gay who votes for Trump..

I have a luxury car, a beautiful wardrobe, an Uptown apartment, but am one paycheck away from having to go home to live with my parents in Wichita Falls.

I am the once beautiful man past his prime who surrounds himself with fat, ugly men to make me feel better about myself.

I am the fat ugly man who just realized why I am here.

I’m the guy that goes to the Mermaid Bar at Neiman Marcus for lunch on Tuesday and snap my fingers at the waiter when he’s late with my fourth G&T

I’m R3 reading a skewering post that hit a nerve

The cranberry/jalapeño relish at the Mermaid Bar is incredible!

I am the younger gays and lesbians who frequent J.R.’s and Sue Ellen’s without knowledge of the characters for whom they’re named.

I am the friend of a friend whose guncle once fucked Troy Aikman.

I am Fort Worth where the Dallas gays must go to find a top.

I'm the sign in the Mining Company that says don't do blow in the bathroom (YES I REALLY SAW THIS ONCE and it was just a few years ago).

I'm also the elder gay who talked to me for 30 minutes about why Dallas is better than Houston.

I am Troy Aikman running shirtless on the Katy Trail relishing being an enigma.

I am a parishioner of the Cathedral of Hope who authentically believes that God loves him despite the rejection by friends and family belonging to most any other church in North Texas.

I am the elder gay who has a collection of hundreds of This Week in Texas issues who shockingly survived the AIDS epidemic despite being a massive whore.

I am the horny guy driving down Harry Hines eschewing the prostitutes asking if I want a date as I have dick to suck at Paris Adult Video.

I am one of the half dozen massage therapists using a ten year old picture in my ad in the back of the Dallas Voice.

I am the college graduate who forwent a professional career to tend bar at J.R.’s. I make more money in my well than behind a desk.

I'm the old outside entrance for GAP at NorthPark Center, gone since 2005!

I'm the guy that has sucked more cock at New Fine Arts than any other customer since 1987.

My claim to fame is that I beat up one of the stars of The A-List Dallas.

I'm the Dallas Gays on the balcony at J.R.s looking down watching the Alan Ross Freedom Parade on September 26, 1999!

I am the gay bored with the local talent who cannot wait for the influx of hot guys during Texas-OU Weekend.

I'm the Dallas Gays on the balcony at J.R.s looking down watching the Alan Ross Freedom Parade on September 26, 1999!

Check out the hunky guys from Crews Inn!

I google the Mermaid Bar. So that's what passes for impressive in Dallas huh

I am the hunky guy on the Crews Inn car who had to blow the gross manager to get a shift.

Former Dallasite here. Not familiar with the culture of other cities (let’s stick to the U.S.), since just visiting briefly you can’t really grasp what it’s like to live there. Aren’t most U.S. cities similar to Dallas or worse, in reference to gay men’s attitudes about who they will or won’t date?

I am the drag queen who just cannot win a sash in a pageant despite being “the best one.”

I am 114 and Rochelle, a desk clerk at any flea bag motel in the Dallas Metroplex and authenticated DL poster.

In all of my self-righteous indignation, I was threatening to expose the torrid affair a male DL poster was having with his FIL, a very prominent Dallas attorney if they showed up at his front desk, and I was going to alert all of my friends in the "industry" to do the same.

Unfortunately, I was too stupid to realize the whole sordid affair was one of DL's first and classic ESTs.

U

I am the hot former college cheerleader making ends meet coaching tweens on how to be fierce in their NCA All-Star Cheerleading Nationals routine.

And no, I am not a Navarro perv.

I am Marshall of Tangerine Salons who is a little less famous now that Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team is off the air who can pack a jock strap.

I am Dallas Weatherman Scott Padgett who battles my weight and almost lost my judging gig on Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team when I criticized Victoria.

I am Sue Ellen's hair stylist who went to Fort Worth with her to raise hell.

I am a patron of Turtle Creek Chorale who tears up in identification with the lyrics of their rendition of Armistead Maupin’s “Letter to Mama.”

I am the gay rolling my eyes when my straight boss thinks he is edgy because he went to The Grapevine Bar on Maple once.

I am the thirty year-old with an average dick and a 28 BMI who thinks forty-somethings will pay to suck my dick on Grindr. I need a life, a job and an ounce of self-awareness.

I am waiting impatiently for midnight at The Roundup Saloon so that I can tell off Marjorie Lee Winnick with Julia Sugarbaker before hearing Reba sing about lights going out in Georgia.

I am consuming neither alcohol or carbs in preparation for the Purple Weekend. Mama needs to look flawless to get grade A cock.

Yes they are worse R29. LA for example is absolutely brutal.

I am the soulless bitch who had to settle for Dallas after not making it in Los Angeles or New York City. My superficiality is right at home in a city with little natural beauty and a penchant for plastic surgery.

There are definitely 40 somethings who would pay to suck off a fat 30 year old.

I miss Crews and Zippers. They weren't much to look at BUT they were close and some of the bartenders were awesome.

Oh, I'm the NBC5 nightly news anchor who treats bartenders like shit.

r44

People like R45 who play peekaboo on the site should be banned

I am the young twink volunteering at HRC Black Tie as I couldn’t afford it any other way. Where’s my new husband?

I am Edna Jean Robinson—hysterically funny alter ego of entertainment manager Richard Curtain.

I’m the boozehound who used to get my day started at The Hidden Door (aka The Hidden Sore) at 7 a.m. until their liquor license was in question.

I am terrific Cher impersonator Wayne Smith.

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I am the gays Kelli Finglass hires as vendors for her Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders who will never see one of their causes (e.g. AIDS Awareness, Homeless Gay Youth) chosen by a single one of thirty-six women’s causes for My Cause, My Boots over multiple years. No wonder Jinelle waited to come out AFTER retiring from the Dallas Cowboys Organization.

I'm the grande dude who moved into Turtle Creek in 1967 when I opened my first upscale florist and decor shoppe for the big hairs.

OP You went to Dallas and everyone rejected you. How sad.

I’m one of the boys who sucked Mark Deuber’s dick at the Round-Up - LeeAnne Locken knows me and what I did.

I have a Patrick Duffy poster framed in my second bedroom.

This is a funny thread. I know nothing about Dallas gays in situ but did witness one who showed up briefly among gay acquaintances of mine in NYC before returning to Texas after about a year. What I noticed was the absolute careless way he would make racist comments. Never heard him do it about Blacks but he was astonished at the numbers of “Orientals and Arabs” in New York City he encountered and had to deal with. “Why Hunter College is practically taken over by Orientals and Arabs!”

Hunter is one of best colleges in the CUNY system and is attended by many children of immigrants and immigrants themselves who are trying to get ahead. It’s basically the business school of CUNY. I say more power to them, that’s why it’s there. But apparently this queen couldn’t grasp that. Gaffes like that made him really disliked even among the white gays of NY.