Grindr Response Rate Experiment

This should be good.

Why do you think no one is responding back to you?

Make little tweaks to your profile to see what it is. Is it your height? Lie for a night and say you're 5 inches taller. Give your cock more length, etc

R2 it’s definitely my height. I don’t feel comfortable lying. My purpose isn’t to get more responses; just to get a clear gauge on if my response rate is actually as bad as I think it is (or worse). One thing I do plan on doing if possible, is that if I ever get in amazing shape, see how much that impacts responses, or if having a 6-pack wouldn’t even matter since I’m still short.

I live in NYC. My response rate is always higher when I’m out of the city.

I think there are so many choices in the city that guys think more highly of their ability to hookup.

OP, how tall are you? I love short guys.

R4 glad I’m not alone!

R5 5’3 😘

I think 5’3 is fine and have no doubt you’re very cute. For those that don’t respond, it’s their loss, OP, not yours.

I don’t buy that guys don’t like short guys. Every time I see a shorter cute guy he is swarmed with admirers. This is a myth.

It’s something else. Maybe you’re trying to do to much in your photo. Natural is better these days.

I love to fuck a short guy. I'm 5'10" and I much prefer short to taller than me. It's not the height.

Do you consider yourself average or above? Do you hit on the average looking guys or...?

R2 gave you sound advice, OP. You should tweak your profile to pinpoint what the cause is. Try altering your initial messages, as well, to see it that is it.

R7 you’re so sweet.

R8 I wish you were right, but tell that to all of the guys who have told me or even say explicitly in their profiles that they’re not into shorter guys.

R9 I consider myself to be average (for a gay guy living in a city) and message guys who are average and above. I’m not gonna message a guy I don’t find attractive; that defeats the purpose.

God. I don’t even know where to begin. OP, if it makes you feel any better - I’m in NYC, have a muscular body, not a bttm (mentioning bc a lot of ppl assume most gays in NYC are bttms). No face pics on my profile but I always send / unlock when I contact. (And I’m truly not an overly arrogant or narcissistic type, but I am hit on in person with decent frequency / make out when I’m at the bars and told I’m handsome). I’m not creepy whatsoever in my msgs (in fact the opposite). Height is on the lower-average side. Ethnically, think Mediterranean / middle eastern (though I don’t even indicate anything re race or ethnicity on my profile).

My “luck” on Grindr in NYC these days - 3/4 of messages are from skinny twinks, the morbidly obese, older grandpa types, escorts or methy weirdos. I don’t even hold my breath when I message anyone now, even if he is on the “same level” of attractiveness as me. On average, I’d say only 1/4 of the guys I message, message me back. And of those? I’d say at least 1/2 the time I just get ghosted eventually. It’s insane.

Out of town, forget it. Even in somewhere like Miami (!) which has IMO way hotter guys - my Grindr goes crazy, sometimes even crashing when I fire it up lol

I love NYC for many reasons but the guys aren’t it. If you haven’t lived here (or LA, like in OP’s case) you have no idea how cutthroat, brutal and frustrating it is - even for something as a simple no-strings hookup (forget dating!).

I don’t remember it being this bad on the apps in the early 2010s…

Now that I think abt it more. Prob closer to 1/6 or 1/7… not 1/4. I guess that is better than nothing, but still, definitely feels like a lot of effort for such low returns.

I think I’ll just keep trying my luck at the bars instead.

Op, it's. It just you. My response rate is near zero among single men from 45-55 (I'm 50).

But I get endless woofs from some very cute (and some deadly handsome) 23- 26 year olds. I just I can't imagine having sex with someone born before I graduated college.

R12 thank you, that is EXACTLY the kind of response I was looking for. And I totally agree, I used to get a lot more responses circa 2012/2013, and the vast majority of guys who message me either won’t send a face pic (or pic at all), are obese, or look old enough to be my grandpa. (Also, I just used LA as an example… I am also in NYC).

^its NOT just you. Sorry For not proofreading. I only do that if I'm getting paid

Aaaaand I meant *after* I graduated college. Batting 1000 tonight.

The sec apps have ruined gay life. Congrats, 1s and 0s nerds.

I put in my profile the ubiquitous disclaimer “No fats, no fems, no Asians.” I’m thinking of also adding “No olds.” Once I’ve controlled for these populations, I’ll have a better outcome.

Have to say I agree with many of the posts above. I’m in SF -I’m pretty handsome, in good shape (objectively oc 😉) include a face pic and my recent foray into Grindr has been a complete bust. No one responds. No one. Weird.

Could it be a glitch? I remember I traveled from Paris to Nice with my fuck buddy and he noticed my location on Grindr said I was still 400 miles away.

Grindr leaked everyones info including email and password why are you idiots still using it?

It's the worst app for hook-up

R22 and care to enlighten us where you are meeting your dates and or tricks?

Whether we like it or not, the fact remains that of all the apps, Grindr (despite all its many, many flaws) has the widest variety / largest selection of men that are into other men in any given city or town.

OP- Try a bathhouse. This suggestion also applies to others who strike out on Grindr.

Bicupid tinder scruff and jackd.

Maybe they are strung out on drugs. Maybe their picture is fake and they won't actually meet anyone. Maybe there is too much choice.

Whatever, Grindr is toxic and ruins your mental health. A guy I hooked up with a while ago spends all day setting up meets on it and they fall through half the time but even when they work out I don't really think they make him happy. He's working from home but getting nothing done. Bad news. Try something else.

[quote] "Last night, I was getting frustrated with how few guys were responding to my Grindr messages"

You used your real photo again, didn't you OP?

I kid. I just couldn't help myself.

I don't know what to say, OP. I am assuming you are on Grindr in LA, which is very easy to hook up on or to get attention. For being a "Minnesota 8" which I would assume is pretty hot b/c midwestern guys are hot, the fact that you got 0 out of 50. Just being white and 30-something should get a lot of response in LA. I don't feel like people really factor height on Grindr. This is for hooking up not for relationships. Are you top or bottom?

I just signed up with sniffies, which I think is the sluttier version of grindr. It's been about four weeks and I've had one hookup, which I would rate about a 3 out of 10. I should have just stayed home and watched the new episode of Succession, or some shit, but he was fairly pushy about meeting up.

He's a 38 yo latino guy. He would only send one pic of his face, none of his body, and one somewhat blurry cock pic. We did chat on the phone for quite a while the day before so I felt pretty comfortable meeting up. He's very closeted, not out, and wanted to be very "discreet" (a word I loathe).

He wanted me to drive to his house, which was an hour away, but I wasn't into driving that far during afternoon rush hour. He texted me an hour later to say that he could get a good deal on a hotel really close and cheap, so I agreed to meet.

He did look like his pic, but it was clear he didn't work out and it looked like he had those scars around his pecs that transmen have after they slice off their tits. I'm guessing this dude got fat removed at some point. He was fit-fat which is fine, but it was clear that he never exercised.

His dick was much smaller than I expected, probably 4 inches and uncut. Uncut can be a mixed bag. Some are amazing and sexy, but his was a little misshapen and kinda sad. If his cock was an animated character, it would sound like Droopy Dog.

He was a good kisser, somewhat passionate. He wanted to get down to business, so we get naked and he came within about 10 mins. I really didn't feel like getting off and he didn't offer. Then we had that awkward conversation after hook-up sex and left the hotel.

Honestly, I hope I never have to see that closet case again and I think the feeling was mutual. This was my first hookup in months and underwhelming doesn't even being to describe it. It felt good to get back home, take a nap, and jerk off later by myself.

I hooked up on Grindr with a very cute, young Latino in Houston and, damn, he had the smallest penis. Maybe 3". I'm a top so I'm more ass focused but I like sucking cock and eating ass. But, all I had in the back of my head during the hookup was how infantile his dick was that I feigned an IBS attack and left. Couldn't maintain an erection with this guy...but, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Anyway, I got rid of Grindr after that. I'm an older guy and Grindr skews too young for me.

I'm not on apps but I always thought Grindr was for the young twinks and Scruff was for the proper men - have you tried that instead?

Also I want to see pics, especially of the frustrated NYC guy with a muscular body.

This type of experiment though is a little pointless unless you provide full details so the peanut gallery can adequately analyse what you could be doing wrong. Have you tried repeating the experiment using identical variables except for artificially inflating your height to 5'10 and if so, what did you find? If it's just an experiment and you'll never meet these men then it doesn't matter that you're shorter.

R14 etc totally! Funny how it’s never the “appropriate” guys who respond.

R20 it’s crazy!

R21 I doubt it- I usually only use the app in one location.

R22 it is the most convenient and has the largest selection of guys. Even with all of my complaints, I have met a lot more guys through Grindr than any other medium.

R24 there’s something inherently “icky” to me about the idea of going to a bathhouse. I also don’t use Grindr to meet guys “for now”, I establish rapport with them and add them to my favorites, and then meet them when I find myself available.

R28 I’m in NYC (I used LA and Minnesota as examples).

R31 I’m on Scruff, as well, and I don’t like all of the limits it has for non paid users… while I do get a higher rate of responses there, it’s harder to meet guys from there because of all of the limitations (including not even being able to scroll up and read a full conversation, look at received pics, etc).

I messaged 50 more guys last night… will update with data later. Again, I’m not really looking to improve my rate at this point, just get a clear number (I guess out of either 500 or 1000 messaged guys). Whatever variable I change in the second phase would have to be something that doesn’t make me lie or have to start a new profile and lose my progress with guys I’ve already favorited etc.

90% of Grindr guys are bots. Sorry.

R31 your first mistake is assuming that OP (or me, the “frustrated NYC guy with a muscular body”) is doing “something wrong”. (And while I appreciate the offer, i’m not idiotic or retarded enough to potentially dox myself by showing pics, even body ones, here lol sorry. But yes, I have very prominently displayed muscles in my pics). I, as well, thought I was doing something “wrong” for the last few years (when the apps esp Grindr become an increasingly frustrating experience with non-responsiveness, etc.) - until just concluding that this is an issue more specific to the NYC and SF / LA Grindr markets. As mentioned, I don’t encounter these issues on nearly the same level in other cities, even Miami (where I get plenty of attention on the apps, from hotter guys no less - go figure).

Agreed it’d be very difficult to extrapolate from OP’s experiment on an empirical level, as there are way too many variables at play here - but, (and no offense intended) if you have no recent experience with Grindr in NYC or say similar US city, you will have no idea how comparatively difficult it is to meet - hell, even just maintain a conversation - with guys, even where at the outset your intention is to just hookup.

^ to add, in my recent experience: Scruff in NYC is only mildly better in terms of the overall convos I have, but has become just as bad as Grindr with the non-responsiveness, ghosting and overall shitty and annoying behavior. Also noticing a lot of guys basically using their Scruff profiles as mediums to get IG followers, with zero intention of ever meeting. It’s become like a gay Insta, lol.

In the 2010s I used Scruff much more than Grindr and met tons of (very hot) dudes. Since COVID, it’s been overall crap.

Maybe you got more responses 10 years ago because you were 10 years younger?

You say you click on men you deem equal to you in looks or better looking but not anyone "beneath" you in looks. Maybe those better-looking guys don't respond because they use the same criteria.

I hear all the time that bathhouses are "icky" to some younger guys who prefer the apps.

So why are they "icky"?

The hoes using the apps are barebacking and spreading the same viral, fungal and bacterial infections.

You can still catch the same stds at some guy's condo as you would at the bathhouse.

I was 18 in 1996, when I was an isolated gay kid in Virginia and around the time AOL chat rooms were taking off. I was always swarmed and overwhelmed by the messages I got, and I have never forgotten how frustrating it is to be the target of so many horny men's youth-seeking missiles.

Back then, there was no such term as 'catfishing,' and AOL let every account create five screen names, and so I would invent profiles with different personal information to see how differently people would interact. I made myself older, Black, Asian, overweight, a woman, everything I could think of and it was both shocking and fascinating to me how differently people with superficial differences are treated. People were mostly very nice (aside from extreme sexual harassment) to me as a skinny white 18 year old, but almost no one responded to the black profile, and lots of people were openly hostile to the Asian one. It was really fucked up.

Around age 27, I noticed on sites like Manhunt that response rates dropped sharply and suddenly when I updated my age. Around 31, I really felt practically invisible, and it sent me into a kind of existential panic/rage/etc., because I had once been so 'popular' and people had been so friendly online and now people didn't even reply to messages much less initiate them. I did occasionally make profiles on Manhunt and Scruff with fake stats and photos and some of the same people who had been nasty to me were gushingly friendly. I stopped doing that as my curiosity waned and as the whole notion of catfishing became ubiquitous enough that I thought about it and realized it's kind of a fucked up thing to do, even if people are assholes.

But all those years, especially the early ones, of being able to experience how others are treated, has really illuminated me about the duplicity of people, how someone who seems really nice might be horrible to people and may only be nice because they are preying on you for something they want, how extremely racist a shocking share of gay men are and so on. Overall, it made me more realistic about human nature and it also made me lose most interest in trying to connect with social circles of gay men. I only want to be friends with people who are decent to everyone, and that includes the types of people who on a social app would have the courtesy of replying to acknowledge a human being exists.

R34 exactly!!

R36 it’s possible that I was getting more responses 10 years ago because I was 10 years younger, but I think it’s more that the mentality/demographic has changed. I frankly look better now than I did then. And in terms of the guys I message, if I’m a 6, then I message guys who are 5s and up… again, I have to be attracted to the guys I’m messaging.

R37 I don’t bareback at all and barely ever even do anal… my last anal experience was in like 2018. I’m really scared of getting STDs and don’t trust the efficacy of prep.

R38 totally- that’s why I mentioned that I’m white.

OP- I wonder if Grindr is any more productive than going to a gay bar was for me ca. 1995.

I used to think I would meet the man of my dreams at a bar back then- for hot 🥵 sex and or a relationship.

It never happened and was generally a waste of time.

I fucked a lot of dizzy twinks on Grindr. I met a few fuck buddies on Scruff. I had 2 long-term relationsips and then met my husband on Tinder. Swiping right worked.

I agree with r38. When I was in high school, I remember creating a fake Manhunt account. My generic white boy profile of similar age in the photos, received so much more attention and praise. My real profile with black on it received little attention.

For the past year or so, my Grindr had my face on the profile. I decided to try removing my profile and realize I get a lot more attention from guys. People can't help but be curious about blank profiles. After sending them my photos I haven't been ghosted. There is something to be said about the mentality on Grindr. People want what they can't have. As soon as you appear to be a novelty, your value increases.

Op, try removing your photos and see if they responses change.

R42 that’s a great idea- I think for phase two I will take my height off of my profile entirely (I just remembered that was an option) and remove my face pics from the profile and send with the first message instead.

R42- Another words- Always maintain some mystery?

r43 don't remove your height. You aren't out to deceive anyone. You want responses from men that want you for your stats. I say remove your photos and see what happens.

How do you beat a shallow system? Turn the tables by not playing the face game in the first round. But your height seems to be a big deal on your profile, the same way being black deducts points on mine. So, I leave that on my profile and only have to deal with men that looked passed race. You need men that look passed height. Then you can get to your face-card and such.

Also, some men will take a blank profile to mean discreet or maybe even "straight/bi". The mystery adds to the interests. Remove the photo and keep the height, weight, and all the other stats. If you have any pronouns, remove em. We hardly exchange names, whatever you identify as is of no real concern to Grindr hookups.

Only a horny boy would somehow consider a 0% positive response rate confirmation of a hypothesized 2% positive response rate. The sample size of 50, unless selection biases or other methodological problems are evident, is large enough to show SOMETHING.

We're just not into you, OP.

R45 Remove pronouns???

The trans loons are gonna come after you for that.

R45 true! I do feel like I should keep my gender listed as cis-male since at my height guys assume I’m trans.

R46 the 2% is based on my history on the app and the effect of “when it rains, it pours”- I have had dry spells of hearing from nobody for weeks and then got responses from 5 guys in one day. That’s why 50 guys in one night is not a sufficient sample size.

No face pic = closeted = no thanks

Do people really pursue guys on the apps who don’t post face pics? Do y’all just love the drama and sadness of closet cases??? No thanks!

OP(R32)- It's so polite and nice of you to respond to almost everyone's messages on this thread.

I have not used Grindr for a while as I am now married, but my single friends report similar things to you OP--lots of ghosting and pic traders and a far fewer guys overall and a much lower success rate in actually meeting someone, either for a hook up or a date.

Back in the mid-10s I could go on and find someone to hook up with within an hour and generally guys who, in addition to being hot, seemed like nice normal guys.

If I had to guess, the pandemic +m monkeypox made people warier of strangers, even if they are not conscious of it, and so there's move away from those sorts of zipless fuck hookups.

I had looked at Sniffies after reading about it here and it seems like it's all about orgies or Dawson-esque bottoms setting up in hotel rooms and looking to get 50 loads.

Thank goodness I'm not single anymore and we have a local bathhouse.

Gay men are more complicated and detached than ever.

Get off the apps guys. They should like poison. They were fun 15 - 20 years ago. Sex was so plentiful back in day. Before apps and quite a while into them. But that was long ago. I'm 60 and retired from the hunt. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. It sounds dismal. Get off the apps and go meet people. You're young and fuckable so go out and get it.

I see a movement towards moving off the apps but we social media isn’t going anywhere but let’s hope for some more clubs and events and things that get people together in person. People link up and connect better that way. It turns out the apps aren’t an absolute replacement.

On Grindr, there is now a classification called “side”. Is that the same thing as versatile?

No, R56. It means you don't do anal.

[quote] It means you don't do anal.

So they let fraus on Grindr now? Women ruin everything. Anal is men’s business.

Grindr is better for right now and Scruff is better for later or making plans. I've met 2 boyfriends that were good guys on Grindr. One was in London who kind of looks like UKGUY who is very hot and one in LA. Hinge is best for going on dates/datable guys.

R50 that’s why I have my face pic up!

R51 thanks 😊

R52 exactly! Sniffies seems too promiscuous for my taste.

R53, R54, and R55 the apps in a post-2020 world are a necessary evil. In-person socialization of all kinds have changed since the pandemic.

R59 what sucks about Scruff is that (at least in the free version) you can’t view your full message history, which makes it difficult to make plans.

My results from last night’s 50 messages: still no responses (so still at 0%), but only one block (as opposed to the previous night’s five).

R59- How do you know what UK guy looks like?

Do you have a photo you can share?

Maybe you need to start going to the boroughs? What is the Grindr scene like on Staten Island? Are there a lot of hot Italian sausage?

I will never get the lying on your profile bit. You really want to fuck or get fucked by a guy who looks at you with disappointment that you don't match your profile?

[quote] -I only message men whose attractiveness I deem to be equal to or greater than my own. I don’t message men who don’t have clear pics or who seem to be escorts or catfish.

You want an experiment? Lower your expectation and see how many responses you get.

I’m in LA right now but in Hells Kitchen a lot. If I ignored you it’s because I get 30-50 messages a day. People get pissy when you don’t reply but worse when you tell them you are not interested. I actually really like pocket gays and you sound decent and quite fuckable. I don’t want to screw up your average but hit me up if you see me and I’ll show you my big dick.

OP your deliberately generic messages might be a problem, especially if you aren't extremely attractive. Try being really forward with every message and see what kind of response that gets. Don't just say "hey" and expect it to turn into something.

I'm in a large, liberal West Coast city, and it seems that here, Grindr is like the local convenience store of apps - it's around and has always been around, but no one takes it all that seriously, at least not any longer. I sense that the expectation is that everyone is going to be flippant, flighty and non-committal on it anyway, so they'll just be the same.

Scruff demands a greater level of commitment. You have to have a face pic to appear in their Global grid, the face pic has to be clear for your profile to be verified, and profiles with blank/torso pics go nowhere. I've also observed an increase in guys trying out the gay versions of 'straight' apps - Tinder, Hinge, etc. (Although, in the straight world, apparently Tinder is the Grindr of dating apps in terms of reputation and expectations.)

Finally, a side note - having the pronouns field on your Grindr profile filled out is a "tell". As is selecting 'Cis Man' as your identity. Just saying.

I always want to ask the guys who send you 5 random close-ups of their hole at 3AM if that ever actually worked?

Also, in bigger cities, no head shot can mean closeted or it can mean "I have a significant (male) other who does not know I am on here."

Why do bottoms always seem to choose the exact same pics?

Why not a nice profile pic of sexy worked-out glutes? Or maybe a pic in athletic shorts?

It's always a close-up of an ass-crack or macro shot of an anus. Why aren't they more creative?

And do they honestly think that the close-up pic of the anus is something we want to see?

And when they pose on the bed, why do they love the cat-in-heat, ass-up-in-the-air position?

Their aesthetic is so feminine. When I see that, I think of female porn stars because that's usually how they're posed with their big behinds in the camera.

This part is the main stumbling block:

"I only message men whose attractiveness I deem to be equal to or greater than my own"

Most on Grindr only really seem to be into guys who are more attractive than they are. So the guys you're messaging are only interested in guys more attractive than they are (and hence you).

And I don't say that to be nasty, it's just how the app works. It's a form of window shopping. Guys are constantly living on the hope of hooking up with a hottie. Tinder is better for dating and hence you'll likely get a better response rate.

I got kicked off Tindr. Is there a way to get back on? They hold grudges longer than a DL Eldergay.

R70 Unless it's tied to your IP address, you should just be able to create a new account with a different email address. Most apps don't have the concept of ban expiry, they just keep you on a ban list forever.

R70 Why were you banned?

R72 Haha I wasn't! I've just worked in app development before.

Though with data retention rules (at least in the EU), it's possible more companies will need to start clearing down ban lists after X amount of years. I suppose they could try to argue that there's a business need for them to retain the data, but after 7 years it's likely anyone seeking to re-register will have a different computer/phone and internet connection anyway.

R73 What? Are you high?

You said that they kicked you off the app. Then you said that they hold a grudge.

They kicked you off for a reason. I asked why.

Then you answered with a non-answer and talk about EU rules. Bitch, this has nothing to do with the EU.

Probably the reason why they banned you is for putting something like, "no fats, no fems, no nigs, no troons" (or something to that effect) in your profile.

Next time, if you don't want to answer the question, simply don't respond.

[quote] "I only message men whose attractiveness I deem to be equal to or greater than my own"

[quote] Most on Grindr only really seem to be into guys who are more attractive than they are. So the guys you're messaging are only interested in guys more attractive than they are (and hence you).

1. Gay men are men, and as with most men, sexual pursuit is "the thrill of the hunt." This is the whole basis of the "playing hard to get" mindgame. Think about how many romantic comedies over time have been based on the premise of a man ceaselessly petitioning a woman who is not interested to finally fall in love with him, and women and men alike love these stories. Lots of animals have similar courtship/mating rituals, with one partner having to chase the other until the other one gives in. It seems to be a 'game' deeply embedded in animal psychology and physiology. Perhaps this is also part of the reason so many gay men have such a strong preference for straight men. They want to chase and nail down the hardest-to-get mate that attracts them.

2. Many gay men are like men in the sense described above and *also* like women psychologically in the sense that they have a compulsion to be seen as beautiful by others, and their self-worth is based in great part on this kind of validation. Dating/fucking apps have enabled this validation-seeking behavior to be absolutely compulsive. I used to compulsively message 'hot' profiles and feel either special or like a monster depending on the response/non-response/whether I was blocked. It was really unhealthy emotionally.

It's also unhealthy socially.

Way back in the days of mIRC, CompuServe, Prodigy, AOL and Gay.com chat rooms, when I was 17+, profiles did not lead with photos and videos, and gay men of course always were hoping for dick, but people actually spoke to one another on a friendly basis, not as hunters and prey. I met a lot of cool people, and in many cases there was mutually no sexual attraction, but in those early years, that led to friendship instead of blocking and ghosting and ignoring. Now it seems a person's human qualities are entirely irrelevant to most gay men and it's really just about the validation of someone 'hot' engaging and then swapping loads. I really miss the 90s in a hell of a lot of ways. Gay people are definitely more normalized now, and that has led to so much greater comfort I would not want to give up, but the way gay men have commodifed and dehumanized one another based on appearances alone disturbs me.

Trent is out of shape and not hot. And probably special needs. But if you must TROLL for attention, to meet YOUR needs, grossly at the expense of a handicapped victim of a heartbreaking crime, sure, he's a "jock".

R61 it's accepted DataLounge wisdom that I am hot, I don't really know why but I'll take it. I also have a big dick and I'm 6ft tall, if I were to open up a Grindr profile in London would I get a lot of attention or would it be like the posters from NYC and LA?

R76 my whoops. sorry.

[quote] Why were you banned?

They never actually tell you. All they say is you violated TOS.

All I wrote in my profile was “I will when she won’t.” And I was getting a lot of interest. I posted a picture and it’s very obvious I’m a guy so it wasn’t catfishing.

I may have been banned because I was swiping too fast (I was liking everyone and not rejecting anyone).

My DataLounge self believes that the women were unhappy because I was pulling away their men.

[quote] [R70] Unless it's tied to your IP address, you should just be able to create a new account with a different email address.

Tinder is tied to a phone number and I don’t want to get a new number.

R62 I’m actually in an outer borough and message guys within like a 15 mile radius.

R63, R69, R75 I get that… but if you end up meeting a guy you’re not attracted to, how do you get it up? I mean, I’ve hooked up with guys who were disappointing in that they didn’t look like their pics (and felt gross/used afterwards), but never anyone downright ugly. In numerical terms, if I’m a 6, I message guys who are 5s and up, and gave have hooked up with guys who are 3s and up. Are you all suggesting I message the 3s and 4s even though I didn’t enjoy my experiences and probably wouldn’t physically be able to do a 1 or a 2?

R64 I will absolutely message you if I come across your profile!

R65 great point- maybe for phase 1.5, I will send more thoughtful messages… the issue will be finding things to say to so many guys.

R66 what is it a “tell” of? I have “cis man” listed because otherwise guys would assume me to be trans; not because I’m woke or anything.

R67, R68 I don’t get when guys only send close-up pics of their hole or dick either. I’d much rather see the shape of the whole thing to get a better idea of what I’ll be working with, and I don’t even usually ask for butt/dick pics unless they ask me or something in their profile prompts me to do so.

R74 Oops, I'm sorry. I was R71 not R70. I thought you were having a joke with me because I had a knowledge of ban expiry.

I'll read more closely next time!

R75- In the 1990’s you never went bars?

So does the app give you the option of stating that you're simply a man?

I wouldn't want to identify as a "cis man" because by using that terminology, it plays into the hands of trans activists. In addition, it's a slur to gay men. In the trans sub-reddits, their members often refer to gay men as "cissies". They are aware that cissie rhymes with sissy (a slur that was hurled at us when we were kids) but they don't care. Because they don't respect us.

There are men. And there are transmen. There is no need for "cis".

[quote]They are aware that cissie rhymes with sissy

I would have thought they were homophones.

Anyway, I understand OP's situation - I haven't been on those apps in several years but there may now be enough of a "trans man" presence that an actual man like OP, who's 5' 3", needs to be explicit about the fact that he's a real man.

I’ve seen a couple of profiles on Grindr that have said “No men.” WTF? I’m assuming they’re looking for trans but real men need a space of their own.

R84, R85 gets my point- a trans man could have “man” listed, as well. Trans activists say in their own words that “trans men are men”. That’s why I feel the need to be super clear in my profile.

R87 Yeah, they repeat that mantra all day long, but it doesn't make it true.

Gay men have no desire to munch carpet, but that doesn't stop them from trying to force us into eating out their jack in the box.

I see a guys on my Grindr grid who moved away 5 years ago.

Don’t recall seeing where you state above that you’re a top or a bottom, OP.

Do most guys looking for a top have that hang up that they need him to be taller than they are?

If you’re a bottom, do you state that? Because - if you’re concerned that height is an issue - tops looking for bottoms would probably have no problem with your height.

Even if you’re vers, I’d put bottom. Guys that put top often are more open to being vers in the heat of the moment, I’ve found.

And I know you stated above that you don’t like to lie, but maybe people just assume everyone lies a bit and that, though you put 5’3”, they think you're ‘actually’ even shorter.

Maybe it’s worth bumping it up to 5’6” or putting “actually 5’3 and 3/4” or something really specific.

-ional.

[quote]I know that when I was living in a small town for a couple months a few years ago, my response rate was significantly higher than it is in the city (as in, I’m an LA 6 but a Minnesota 8).

This isn't surprising at all. Response rates are likely to be higher when the pool of opportunity is LOWER. When people have fewer options, they're going to be less picky when it's just a hookup. You're also likely to pull hotter guys than you might otherwise for the same reason (if they exist in the pool).

[quote] Grindr Response Rate Experiment

I guess OP wasn't really doing an experiment, he just wanted to go on a "nobody wants to fuck me!" rant.

R90 I’m not really into anal and refuse to bareback. I don’t have any position selected and don’t want to select “side” since I don’t want guys to think anal is completely off the table. I said somewhere above that I’m scared of catching STDs and don’t yet trust the efficacy of PreP. If I put my position as bottom and posted a pic of my ass, I would absolutely get more hits, but it wouldn’t be true. Regarding height, so many guys have no general sense of what 5’3 actually is since it’s so far from their own height- I’ve had guys who were surprised by my height, either assuming I would be taller or shorter.

R93 it’s both!

Dear God, OP sounds tedious. I bet he's on some local "Do not engage!" blacklist for hook-ups.

R95 you’re probably right!

OP, have you thought about finding a fuck-buddy and just giving up the apps for a while?

And do you have gay friends to talk with about this issue? What's their take on your dilemma?

I am assuming that is exactly what OP is looking for on the apps R97

You only message men who are more attractive than you. They only respond to men who are more attractive than they are.

You see the problem, right?

And yes, I know you "aren't going to message somebody you aren't attracted to," but the same thing is true for them.

R99- In terms of looks the C's want the B's and the B's are only pursuing the guys who are A's.

" (as in, I’m an LA 6 but a Minnesota 8)"

You've clearly never been to Minneapolis. Tons of great looking men.

Tell us about Tinder. Do you have to have Facebook? If so that’s a deal breaker.

When I read OP's opening post I thought, "Wow. Someone has way too much time on their hands."

Then I read all of his responses throughout this thread.

[Quote] He's very closeted, not out, and wanted to be very "discreet" (a word I loathe).

Use "discrete" then.

R97 and R98 yes, finding a fuckbuddy is why I’m on the app in the first place.

R99 and R100 so it’s not much different for me than anyone else! The main variable is that my height changes guys’ perception of my attractiveness.

R101 I haven’t, I was just using it as an example of the “middle of nowhere Midwest”.

R103 not really, this whole venture has taken less than an hour of my time beyond what I would typically spend on Grindr and DL… you might notice that I haven’t messaged any guys the last couple of nights. I always use Grindr in spurts; the difference is that this time I was counting and messaging more guys

I messaged 20 guys tonight sending more thoughtful messages… it took longer since I’m not great at initiating conversations. Already got one block and one response!

I have an idea. If only gay men could agree on some places to meet. And everyone knows those places and you could just drop by and maybe meet someone. I dunno, coffee shops, bars, night clubs, saunas, beaches, public parks, tearooms.

[quote] If I put my position as bottom and posted a pic of my ass, I would absolutely get more hits, but it wouldn’t be true. [quote]

Hahahaha. You think a 30 something year old bottom would be popular? If you want the most attention, say you are a top. Not side. Not vers. Not vers top. Say you are a top.

I don’t know how you found 50 guys on Grindr to send messages to…where I live Grindr is full of trannies and chasers. Even weirder, a lot of the trannies have “not into men” on their profile. I don’t live in a big city though so not as many guys passing through.

Wait R109.... so if the "trannies" are not into men, what are they into?

Or are they FTMs with strap-ons looking for women?

Trans people have an endless capacity to invent categories that complicated their lives.

R108 I’m a little guy… the vast majority of guys who message me (aka guys who find ME and “like me for my stats” as someone said above) are tops who want to throw me around.

R109 I’m in NYC and message guys within a 15 mile or so radius… I find them using the “tribes” filters; otherwise I would only see guys near me (and I would be more likely to actually meet a guy near where I work in Manhattan than where I live in an outer borough). What can sometimes be frustrating is seeing that I’ve messaged a guy before when I go to message him.

Anyway, I messaged five more guys so will continue phase 1.5 over four different nights. However, out of the 20 guys I messaged last night, I got three responses. So either the messages are working, or last night was just one of the nights it “pours”. Time will tell depending on the response rate for the rest of the phase.

This sounds exhausting. Just jack off already.

Op, you’re overthinking this to the point that I understand why no one messages you back

If you’re only messaging men who are more attractive than you, why would you expect someone to message back a person who is less attractive than them?

R113 you’re probably right.

R114 guys have no way of knowing how I think based on my profiles or messages.

R115 I’m not; I’m messaging guys who are a notch below me and up (if I’m a 6, I message 5s and up). Though, all of the responses have been from 8s. I’ve also gotten a message from a guy (who found me from 11 miles away) who seems like he may have read this thread, and he has been very forward with what he wants.

Were you born male, op?

[quote] I’ve also gotten a message from a guy (who found me from 11 miles away)

Maybe he set his filters using the info you've given here and sought you out that way. Is that even possible? - i.e. setting a given height as both max. and min. so that you only get guys of that height, and adding a filter for bottoms on top of that. I haven't used these apps for some time.

Good luck to you OP, I hope you find a man.

I don't think you're getting responses mainly because of your height and you're being vague about anal. I think if you were into anal and on PrEP, you'd get a lot of tops into funsize guys who want to throw you around a bit before railing you. There's a whole community out this type of play.

[quote] with men that looked passed race. You need men that look passed height.

Oh, dear! Oh, dear!

R117 yes- that’s why I feel the need to make it clear that I’m not trans.

R118 funnily, I looked back and his initial message actually had a little subtitle under it that he found me using a tag feature that I hadn’t mentioned on here (and frankly forgot that it even existed)- still strange timing, though. But yes, paid members can use both height and position as filters.

R119 thanks, and you’re totally right- as I mentioned above I know I would get a lot more interest if I made myself out to be a sub bottom type, but that’s just not who I am. I’d be totally into the getting thrown around part, but not the getting railed part… even the handful of times I have bottomed, I wouldn’t have described the experiences as getting railed.

So are you gonna hook up with the hit? This thread is becoming tiresome.

R122 possibly. I very rarely end up getting to meet these guys, even after having good chats. Yeah, I’m getting sick of this experiment/thread too. I thought it would be interesting, but I’ve already learned that putting more effort into messages could make a big difference.

So, in other words, OP - you're another timewaster on Grindr.

I think you can end your "study" now.

There are very few guys on Grindr over 35 so if youre older you can forget anyone responding. Also, in NY anyway, at least a third of the profiles are guys in full makeup, women's clothing or otherwise presenting as women--so, live your life how you like but Im not gonna get hard

R124 I wouldn’t say I’m wasting anyone’s time other than my own; I do *intend* on meeting the guys I chat with; it just doesn’t often happen. But I agree there’s no point in continuing my experiment, though if I happen to change anything and get a big difference in responses, I’ll come back to this thread (it just wouldn’t be with round numbers).

R125 I’m under 35 and most of the guys I message are within 10 years or so of my age. I don’t care if a guy is “masc” but don’t message female-presenting people… if I were attracted to women, I wouldn’t be gay.

One thing I remember from my Grindr days, which I suspect still holds true, was that most of the time a hook-up that did not happen right away was not going to happen at all.

And that "maybe later in the week" was code for "not that into this and this is a graceful way to put an end to it."

R127 that’s the exact reason I don’t end up meeting most of the guys I chat with… the “maybe later in the week” comes from me. I’m basically always looking to schedule something in advance, and guys tend to lose interest.

I always felt very weird about scheduling an appointment for sex. For me, it was always when the mood would strike, not planning for my libido to kick in at 7:30 on April 17.

Sometimes I feel like there’s some weird technical thing. There will be days when I get twenty guys throwing themselves at me and universally telling me how hot I am, and then days when literally no one responds at all. It’s confusing.

Ditto R129

And it wasn't like a date or anything, it was just "come to my apartment so I can blow you and maybe you'll fuck me too."

I would always tell guys that we'd start with oral and "take it from there."

That way if I wasn't that into them I didn't have to try and get it up to fuck them, I could just lay back and get a blow job and be done with it.

R130 that’s what I was saying with the “when it rains, it pours” factor- I’m not sure whether the responses were due to my more thoughtful messages or that.

R129 and R131 I find that knowing a hookup is coming makes me even hornier and I’m basically already hard before I arrive at the guy’s place. It’s also rare that I find myself with enough time to message a guy AND hook up- that’s why I favorite the guys I chat with and then message the nearby ones if/when I find myself available.

R129- I went to a bathhouse last night and this attractive guy was sucking me as he lay on the bed on his stomach I could see his CUTE ass and it turned me on so when he asked me if I would fuck him I said yes. I told him I only fuck with a condom. He said he didn't mind. I had a band aid on my right thumb which made it difficult to open the condom packet and the lube pocket. I had him and his cute ass bent over and I started to fuck him but it didn't really work. He said your too soft. I just wasn't turned on anymore- in spite of the fact that I was definitely attracted to him. There was a window of horniness that fizzled before I could fuck him. Maybe I should have requested he fluffed me. He seemed like a nice guy- oh well

[quote] I went to a bathhouse last night and this attractive guy was sucking me as he lay on the bed

It really IS 1987 on Datalounge

R134- Not 1987- most of them had been forced to close by then

More like 1977.

I often felt that many Grindr hookups were what hiring an escort must be like, only no money actually changed hands.

Especially guys you were not all that into where basically you'd walk in, pull down your pants, they'd blow you, you'd thank them, zip up and leave.

Also remembering that sinking feeling when you'd walk into some guy who'd been billing himself as a low-key laid back jock (or similar)'s place and it was Gay Decorator City and looking like a photo shoot was about to take place there.

Because 99% of the time it meant you were getting a Bossy Bottom with all sorts of rules about everything

This would rate as one of Grindr's better responses:

I think there are plenty of men on Grindr who just use it to see who's around and have no intention of meeting. They're likely to ignore messages regardless of how hot the sender is.

Funny thing is, I stopped the experiment and have changed nothing about my profile or generic initial messages, and yesterday I messaged two incredibly hot guys and got responses from both!

R140- More important than that- Did you have sex with BOTH hot guys?

R141 not even close; one appears to have blocked me and the other stopped responding. The “win” was that they responded at all 😊

Good thread OP - time to call out the uselessness of Grindr. It was a novel concept when it came out - but has really tuned into a waste of time. Even Facebook is more worthwhile. Post pandemic, my sense is younger guys are going out and meeting people IRL - bars, parties, clubs. Sniffies is trying to extend the life span of sex apps - but it’s all becoming played out and pointless/ unproductive.

R143- This all means it's time to go back to the bathhouses.

Cottaging is back, baby!

Op, maybe it’s just you

A question for all of you: If someone you're not interested in sends you a message on Grindr, is it rude not to respond? I tend not to, and have had guys say I'm rude. Personally, I'd rather get no response than someone telling me they don't find me attractive.

Also...If a Grindr date comes to your door, and they're much less attractive than you had imagined, do you tell them to go away, or do you just go through with it? Personally, I'll go through with it, because I hate rejecting people.

Oh for gods sake go out into the world, go to a bar, have a drink, and attempt to communicate in real life. Person to person, not device to device.

All this analysis and work for what? Try porn. Try real life. If your reasoning is that you want a warm body, use a heating pad.

When I travel to a new city I will have 100 + guys view my profile. I’d say 1/3 block me as soon as they see my picture. 1/3 don’t block, but stop responding. The next batch is split between still talking…but doesn’t actually meet up and a successful hookup. I’d say if the 100+ guys, I’m lucky to have 2-3 actual hookups during a night’s hotel stay.

I’m 35. Average/overweight.

R149- There are many GAY fish in the GAY sea.

Unfortunately you can't always throw back what you catch.

I got back on Grindr this week to find out what would happen. I'll be 45 in three weeks.

My experience so far:

—Not nearly as many people message me as they did when I was young, but more people message me than they did a couple of years ago. All ages from 20s through about 50s.

—Greetings are about evenly split between "taps" and messages.

—But about 50% of messages skip any kind of verbal greeting and are just a deluge of photos. Sometimes face photos and sometimes just genitals.

—I've chatted conversationally with a few people. Almost everyone else is purely transactional. They really just want to cut to the chase, measure up body parts and then swap body fluids. I've told these people that I need human interaction with human beings before someone enters another person's body. About 20% have apologized for leading so sexually, but just about all of these people whether they apologize or not become unresponsive after I say this.

—The few who have been chatty with me all have abruptly stopped responding mid-conversation, presumably because they start doing something or someone, and not one of these people has resumed conversing or come back later and apologized for just disappearing.

I realize how I feel about this is not how everyone feels about it, so you need not lecture me for lecturing the world, but everything about the exchanges there give me a very dark feeling—I might consider it mildly depressive, as it does leave me a lit with the feeling of 'something is wrong with me' for the way people are so dismissive and disrespectful, but it's more a disappointment and disturbed feeling about the true nature of human beings as opportunistic predators who at their cores only want quick, meaningless transactions with one another. And the darker feeling that this is most true of gay men, who tend to show z-e-r-o respect for one another as people. I keep thinking "you would be friendlier and invest more goodwill and human connection into any random person on the street than you are in a person whose semen you are ready to swallow." It's a very bad feeling to me.

To take it to a level I know many will think is preposterous, thinking of how gay men interact with gay men makes the threat of AI taking over feel much less threatening because really, there's not much to lose in terms of human connection. I've chatted with ChatGPT and with Bard, and both give me a warmer and friendlier and honestly more human-seeming feeling than attempting to establish a rapport with gay men does.

So the verdict for me with Grindr is that I don't want it in my life. Overall, it just makes me feel bad because it boils down what gay men want to its essence, and in the process it vaporizes all aspects of humanity that I regard as basic human decency. It's literally just a catalog of bodies and dicks for guys to use once and then cross it off the list without ever knowing the person connected to the genitals. It makes me think of gay men as golems, just animated bodies without souls or spirits.

Oh, well.

R152 That's a really good explanation of how I feel about online hookups as well.

I'm no stranger to hooking up, and I've had the most fun at bathhouses circa late 90s through around 2010. You could say that the saunas are for anonymous hookups, but more often than not, I've had amazing conversations with dudes after we had fucked. And what was also kinda fun was listening in on other conversations that other guys were having (since walls didn't go all the way to the ceiling, you could hear everything)

And I don't have a ton of experience with the apps, but what you say rings true. There's something dark about the experience that makes me think that most gay men on these apps are hardcore sex addicts and who are seriously fucked in the head.

They don't see the humanity in other men. They are disconnected from sensuous play. And for them, men are nothing more than a sperm delivery device.

There's something deeply wrong with their psychology.

Well, it's either beyond the apps or else my experiences are hyperlocal to DC, where I guess every gay man is on Grindr and Scruff and conditioned by them—but in my experience, it's gay men and not just the people who are using apps in realtime. I've lived in the city for 15 years, having moved here from Northern Virginia, where I grew up. I have two good friends in the Virginia suburbs who are gay men—a couple with a child who I've been close with since I was 20—and a close acquaintance/borderline friend whom I've known since about age 23, and who just moved to the Maryland suburbs but lived in the city for years.

I met all three friends online. The couple in VA and I met on gay.com chat when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and I met the other guy on AOL chat. I think we may have all met with sex on our minds but we became friends instead.

Since having moved into DC at age 30, I have met hundreds of gay guys. I've met many via Grindr, Scruff and (years ago) Manhunt, for all sorts of reasons, and I've met many through work. The gay population in DC is very high, and particularly in the sector I work in.

Through both work and through apps/websites, I have not made a single male gay friend despite all the people I've met. My experience—only mine; I know many of you have had different life experiences—is that gay men now *ONLY* look at gay men in the way of an opportunistic predator, a consumer and a social climber. They seem to go through these questions as they size one another up: Are you hot enough to be seen with? Are you hot enough to photograph myself with and post to social media so to up my perceived market value? Will we fuck? Who do you know? Where do you work? How much money do you have? What is your job title and income?

And that's it. I have had all manner of conversations with other gay men for FIFTEEN YEARS in this city, and that order of elimination seems universal. I don't have a single friend I've met since having moved here. I have a lot of other friends, including gay women, straight women and men. No gay guys. After all these years, yes, I am always on guard when meeting a gay man for the first time because of this constant rejection/incompatibility, but I've really tried to find ways to connect, especially with coworkers who I spend at least eight hours a day with, but it has never happened.

Is there a word for the opposite of a prejudice?

Prejudice is bigotry based on assumptions people make about others before they know them personally.

I now feel bigotry toward gay men based on consistent negative experiences after decades of trying to get to know them personally. I now feel like many, maybe most, gay men are kind of hollow shells who look human but choose to turn off their human-connection chips in favor of being fuck machines. It's unnerving to me.

[quote]They seem to go through these questions as they size one another up: Are you hot enough to be seen with? Are you hot enough to photograph myself with and post to social media so to up my perceived market value? Will we fuck? Who do you know? Where do you work? How much money do you have? What is your job title and income?

R154, in my many years on DL, I believe that I have read things similar to this about DC culture over and over again. My guess is that it's not just gay men, it's DC in general.

Just a thought.

R142- FUCK the guy who blocked you. I’m angry 😤 for you OP.

[quote]I’m lucky to have 2-3 actual hookups during a night’s hotel stay.

My god, you're practically a nun.

[quote] I’m lucky to have 2-3 actual hookups during a night’s hotel stay.

This is my goal rate for hookups, because this way I can archive the footage and extend the shelf life of my OnlyFans and JustForFans accounts by several years.

If you're not monetizing your indiscriminate raw sex encounters, you're a moron.

“I’m in NYC and message guys within a 15 mile or so radius”

That is fatal—in the sense of you will have a lot of dead-end likes. IME, if you live in Manhattan, don’t ever both with any profile from the Bronx or NJ…a time-waster. And be careful of anything in Queens or Brooklyn that is not close to the water/Manhattan. It’s just not a good time chase.

I've never understood this need for need for immediate cock within a very limited geographical area.

Wouldn't it be better to find a smokin' hot guy that you have great chemistry (who might live an hour away) instead of an average hookup with someone you're barely attracted to?

And why not just jerk yourself off with your favorite porn & poppers instead of going through the hassle of meeting guys you're barely compatible with? (just because they are in the neighborhood doesn't mean that you're going to be a match in bed)

^ in NYC? No, you’d be wrong. It’s a simple matter of geography and the cost/benefit of travel. You may not like it but it is a fact of life in the Manhattan cruising universe.

R156 I don’t even get mad when that happens; just confused. Back in the day a couple of times guys blocked me while I was on my way to meet them.

R159 et all I live in Brooklyn but work and try to mostly message guys in Manhattan, where it’s logistically easier to meet a guy on my way home from work. And there are some parts of Brooklyn that are technically close (and guys in those neighborhoods will appear relatively close on the grid) but in practice would be more difficult to get too than someone in Manhattan.

“more difficult to get too”

Oh, dear-ing myself…

Psychologically, there is something wrong with someone who needs a non-stop supply of new cock.

Why not just find a few fuck buddies?

R164 I don’t end up meeting the VAST majority of guys I chat with. I wish I had an endless supply of cock, but I don’t… I can say with certainty that I have had fewer sex partners than 98% of gays my age. My goal is to have one or two FBs.

R147 - I don't think it's rude to not respond to someone you're not interested in. You do not owe them anything and they shouldn't feel entitled to a reply.

As for your other question, many years ago (pre-Grindr) I got chatting to a guy online who looked really hot, handsome and ripped and agreed to meet for sex. When I met him, he was still sexy but less attractive than in the pics which were probably a few years old - he was a bit more doughy and he had bleached hair rather than dark. I still fucked him because he was still attractive but I was definitely not AS attracted to him, and I didn't see him again even though it was pretty good sex. I wouldn't go through with sex if I really didn't find someone attractive, would have no issue rejecting someone if they had misrepresented themselves. It gets a little trickier if they show up in person and you just don't have that chemistry though - i.e. they had accurate pics and you found them attractive but in reality for whatever reason they just don't do it for you.

I have Grindr open now.

Two people said hello to me this morning, I replied hello, and both read my reply and did not respond.

Gay men just regard other gay men as sex prey, not as human beings.

As Tori Amos sings, "Sometimes you're nothing but meat."

men are pigs,

but we love bacon

Why did Muriel cross off the OP's opening message?

R169 It isnt crossed out for me - maybe your settings have reverted to the default. I have mine set to Asbestos Eyeballs and it isnt crossed out for me

It appears that yesterday I was blocked by two guys who recently initiated conversations with me, in addition to the other of the two super-hot guys who responded the other day. I will never understand why guys feign interest if they’re not.

R171- I hate that when some guy or guys express an interest in me than pull back when I respond. Maybe they should be called COCK TEASERS.

Is anyone else here wondering why OP is getting blocked so often? Granted, it's been years since I've regularly used Grindr but I don't recall getting blocked (or blocking) so frequently. Maybe it's a matter of location.

Yeah, Grinder is trash but something stinks about this thread.

Why hasn’t anyone figured out how to throw a party anymore. Weekly one. Monthly one. This will solve a lot of that. People just need to get TOGETHER and interact.

[quote] I consider myself to be average (for a gay guy living in a city) and message guys who are average and above. I’m not gonna message a guy I don’t find attractive; that defeats the purpose.

If the purpose is to get laid, YOU are defeating the purpose by hitting on guys who are better looking than you.

R175 I'm not really sure what OP's purpose is anymore, either. Seems like one of those Grindr types that sends a kazillion messages just to see what he can get. I guess that's his experiment, but none of his findings are groundbreaking.

Grindr isn't rocket science.

R173 He's probably getting blocked because he is probably sending subconscious messages that he's just collecting responses, whether he's aware of it or not.

Grindr is quick and dirty.

Get it or get going.

Really no need to overanalze.

R173 I really don’t get blocked all that often; it’s just confirmation bias in this thread.

R176 I stopped the experiment two weeks ago. I have only messaged a handful of guys since, some of whom were the ones to initiate.

Man turns to Grindr for an unusual reason and finds success:

R38 So you were originally posing as other ppl out of curiosity, yet your inquisitiveness turned into an early lesson on how shitty some ppl can be? Well I'm glad you learned early, even if that wasn't your original intention lol

I think that OP and R12 should link up and see how it goes, however the cynicism in me feels that you both prefer to date multiple partners, so settling down or finding just one person to be with isn't exactly in the cards right now. I could be wrong lol

R170 Thnx I'm not R169 however I never knew the reason for certain threads being crossed off on my end until now lol