Pope Francis circling the drain!

He’s been packing on the pasta pounds without shame this past decade. But what’s a little gluttony between friends?

Perhaps he can ask his doctor if Ozempic is right for him.

“Repository infection” Oh, dear.

Mein Pontifex Maximus.

Can I have his red cha cha heels?

Is that a thurible under his robes or is he just remembering all the sweet, sweet sexual assault he helped cover up?

A suppository infection? Sounds nasty.

Euphemisms for AIDS in 2023? The spokesperson for The Vatican needs to grow up.

I read a comment yesterday that the first African pope has most likely been born already. I wonder how many popes removed from that one we are. Are they gonna pull the trigger sooner rather than later?

They need to sex things up.

R6 i thought he was the one who actually started uncovering it.

Is Jude Law next in line as the new/young Pope?

R12 or John Malkovich

[quote] Can I have his red cha cha heels?

That was the prior pope, Benedict XVI, who died a few months ago.

I am ashamed, r3! I will say 100 Hail Marys STAT!

R15 enter the confessional and we’ll “talk”

WHy don't they choose a hot young educated and liberal 40 year old for pope. These popes are too old and unattractive by the time they become Pope-King and get to talk to God. I bet god wants a handsome Pope to talk to.

An African pope would be interesting, I think it would kill Catholicism permanently in Europe.

R18 I don’t think the remaining practicing Catholics there will stop for anything at this point. They have a bunker mentality—sometimes for good reason, I guess.

r18 People keep telling me I'm overstating the effect a black pope would have in Central Europe, but I insist it would be apocalyptic. My parents would sooner abandon RCC overnight than bend the knee to a black pope. They just laugh at the prospect whenever I mention it to them, like it was the most ridiculous thing they ever heard.

Many Catholics hate Pope Francis for being too liberal.

It's almost my time to shine, cunts!

r19 It really depends on which Catholics you're talking about. The US itself is split between the chill Catholics and the absolutely insane trad caths, with the cardinals tending to be extremely conservative. Brazilian and German Catholics would probably be fine with a black pope, while Poland absolutely would not be fine with it. France would just shrug. Spain and Ireland are lost to Catholicism already, and no one cares about the Asian ones. Italy's reaction would be interesting, they're quite racist.

I know a few TradCaths and they do, in fact, loathe this pope for being "too liberal". They actively pray for his death and for the next pope to be ultra ULTRA conservative. They refuse to accept the fact that this pope has almost single-handedly rehabed the Catholic church's image. (As much as can be done, anyway).

An ultra conservative pope will kill that church off for good in America so when Francis dies, so too will the RCC here.

Ross Douthat will be celebrating this pope’s demise.

April is coming.

[quote] An African pope would be interesting,

An African pope would be a very bad thing for the Church right now. In particular the Nigerian Cardinal whose name gets bandied about as a possibility.

r27 welcome! I was hoping you'd join the discussion

Thank you, R28.

Who will be released first from the hospital?

The Pope or Fetterman

I always liked Papa Francisco. May he have many more years to keep appointing liberal cardinals with Conclave voting rights, or at least not insanely reactionary ones.

Luis Tagle from the Philippines will be the liberal hope at the next Conclave and would be the first Asian Pope since Syrian Gregory III (Pope 731-741). Not sure how strong the desire to elect a second Pope from the Third World in a row would be. The Italians are a powerful voting bloc and one of their number has to be considered a strong possibility (this one is Italian-Argentinean after all and called himself Francis).

Interesting r31

Argentina is the 3rd World? Good to know.

Werk!

It's a developing country according to the IMF R33

Note: some parts of developing countries are *very* rich.

On the other hand, there's an old saying : 'after a fat Pope, a thin Pope' - meaning that the Cardinals will try and correct what they saw as the errors of the last Papacy by going in a different direction. Francis was from a Latin American country, and was seen as having the popular touch compared to aloof intellectual Benedict. But given how turbulent this Papacy has been, maybe they will look for someone without radical new ideas whose job will be to steady the ship and keep peace between the factions....

...... step forward chief Vatican diplomat, Pietro Parolin???

That's unless you believe the Prophecies of St Malachy of Armagh, according to which this is the last Pope and the world is ending soon.

I thought 3rd world was a different category than developing. I am also aware hardly anyone says 3rd world anymore. BUT YOU DID.

Well, the term has had different meanings, and you're right, it's used less nowadays, would you like to speak to my manager about it?

[quote]according to which this is the last Pope and the world is ending soon

Take me now, Lord.

They need a hot, well hung pope.

They may be good at football, but Argentina is, and always has been, a hot mess.

So on that note we send them our warmest best wishes!

[quote]this is the last Pope and the world is ending soon.

It's taking forever.

R43 Well, Trump could be re-elected next year and the nuclear exchange with China could soon follow

From your mouth to the next popessa's ear r44.

Perhaps they will help him along.

I’m not sure how close Nate is to Rome, but I’d like to put him in the running during the next elections. The people need it, I guess.

I don't know who Nate is, but no guy named "Nate" has a snowball's chance in hell of becoming Pope. Same goes for Jeff, Dwayne, and Brandon.

Pope Jayden?

fact: Padre Pio had little to nothing to eat for 13 years except for the Eucharist but continued to gain weight.. So no one really knows where Pope Francis' weight came from.

I wish humanity would once and for all end this terrible atrocity. Monarchies and papacies should be things of the past. The clergy, including clergy royalty, are no closer to God than you or I. Just more homophobic hogwash that makes people procreate unwillingly. And be unhappy.

[quote]So no one really knows where Pope Francis' weight came from.

Semen.

R20 I’m sorry you have such racist parents.

I think Pope Dwayne has a certain ring to it, R48

Sheesh R48. That’s a Pope from the south side of Chicago not Africa lol.

At the end of the day he's done well for a guy with only one lung.

R24 but I don’t think the next Pope will be a trad. The cardinals won’t go backwards, IMO.

R51 the hierarchy of the church is a lot different than dynastic monarchy.

[quote]Ross Douthat will be celebrating this pope’s demise.

Is he not the absolute worst? I realize the job as "token conservative" at the NYT is a thankless one, but lord, what a hack he is.

As far as the Pope's size, I'm guessing he's not so much "fat" but probably they've had him on some dose of steriods to manage other chronic issues and looking chunkier is just the downstream impact. For a long time, he was tall & lean, even as an old man.

Not so fast!!

There is always a chance of a relapse

Does anyone else notice the resemblance of fey character actor Grady Sutton to the present Pontiff?

If Francis was/is not hale and hearty enough to participate/concelebrate in the traditional Easter Week rituals, who would take his place?

R62, Ryan Secrest?

He’ll be throwin back that big ass in the club this weekend.

He’s fine. He sends his love.

[Quote]Spain and Ireland are lost to Catholicism already

Not true. You have no idea what you're tlaking about. Many Spaniards are non-religous/atheists, actually 40 %. Catholicism doesn't have a strong hold on the country like it used to. Even if you would argue that it's catholic, it's still surprisingly progressive. They allow abortion, divorce, they have gay marriage and adoption etc. Gay life in Spain is thriving and the gay scene is huge. Gay people are accepted there, I would say even more so than in the US.

Literally from wikipedia, even of those who identify themselves as catholics, the majority are non.practising:

[Quote]According to the Spanish Center for Sociological Research, 56.4% of Spanish citizens self-identify as Catholics, (37.7% define themselves as not practising, while 18.7% as practising), 2.8% as followers of other faiths (including Islam, Protestant Christianity, Buddhism etc.), and 39.3% identify as atheists (15.1%), agnostics (11.5%) or non-believers (12.7%) as of December 2022.[19]

r66 You really have no ide how any of this works, do you? Parroting percentages of some loose cultural affiliation, while ignoring the fact that Catholicism has lost pretty much all of its political influence in Spain over the past couple of decades. For all intents and purposes, Spain IS lost to Catholicism.

I literally studied this, so a random turd online telling me I have no idea what I'm talking about is very entertaining, I have to say.

*idea

He's got pneumonia in both lungs. I don't think he's long for this world.

Sad.

Is he dead yet?

[quote] He's got pneumonia in both lungs

Uh-oh, was he smote after he criticized Vance or before?

Trying to drum up interest in “Conclave”, is he?

The Vatican smoke signal is lethal and eventually catches up to everyone.

Kind of sad. He's certainly less objectionable than previous popes.

He won’t make it and we’ll see a trump pope who hates LGBTQ. We may end up impaled-and not the good kind…

It's going to be a matter of days now.

Get the smokestack ready!

This is how my aunt died in November. I am sure that his condition is probably a lot worse than they are saying.

Also, reports say he has anemia and has received blood transfusions. The transfusions are probably because he's bleeding somewhere in his body and they can't figure out where. That would explain the anemia. That's how it was for my aunt.

Sounds like you loved your aunt-very sorry. I have one aunt left and she’s a selfish - - - - - so I don’t care and me and sis may get some cash when she passes.