I feel like my parents didn’t get much joy or satisfaction out of raising me. My mother, who I always got along with, even admitted once that if she could back and restart her life from the beginning, she wouldn’t have children. She said having children is a waste of time and money, that you just end up overwhelmed with stress and responsibility and in the end, you get nothing out of it. You’ll be middle-aged/elderly and forgotten, and your child will now be adult having their own life. It’s not like you’ll be socializing at parties. Most adults avoid their parents and see visiting grandma as a chore.
She used to say that about a lot of women she knew—people she used to work with, relatives, neighbours—that their lives were better before having children, that babies tied them down and ruined everything. I know for a fact that if I had a child, I’d feel the same way. I can’t stand being overly committed to anyone or anything. If I had a child, I’d more than likely resent it and not show it enough warmth and affection. I wouldn’t be intentionally cruel or negligent, but I know I’d be distant and my child would probably grow up with emotional/attachment issues.
Aside from that, I’ve always resented my parents for having me. I’ve spent the majority of my life with depression. I tried to kill myself in my mid-20s and remember feeling an overwhelming hatred for my parents. The only reason I’m here experiencing all of life’s hardships is because those two selfish idiots had me. I’ve let go of that resentment, but I still don’t appreciate being born. I feel like life is an awful burden to inflict upon somebody. Yes, I know many people enjoy life, but many don’t and can’t wait to die. If I had a child who grew up to be suicidal, I’d feel incredibly guilty because it would be my fault they exist.
Also, I don’t like taking care of other people. I like living for myself, and only worrying about myself. It’s not selfish. Why would it be? There’s nobody in my life to care about because I didn’t create brand new people to care about.
What about you? Why don’t you have kids?