Nosy horrible HOA lady

-1/10.

[quote]How does DL think she should be handled? Be imaginative...

Oh, trust me. I'm imaginative.

hoa? is that a hawaiian term?

ESTs like this are always da bEST.

I'm gonna say even if this is an EST it happens all the time. People are that bored and nosy.

Lift your muu-muu and show her your gunt.

If you had one of these beasts in your life like I did, you wouldn't be calling OP and EST.

Apparently the OP is unaware of the solutions offered by correct delivery of one brick somewhere where the cameras don't reach.

The right home-baked cookie offered anonymously in a cute little box takes care of so many of life's nuisances.

Make sure graphic porn is playing and your screen is visible when she does her walk about.

R9 - If by "cookie" you mean "dog shit", then I agree!

Carpet tacks at various points on her dog walking route

She is not important. Block her from your mind.

Hang her by her ankles above the entrance to the complex, and cut her throat like a pig. That should serve as a deterrent to any who would think to follow in her footsteps.

Death to La Puerca!

Follow her on her dog walks and if she asks, tell her you’re making sure she’s following all the rules.

Why not just follow the rules?

I actually work for an association law firm. The most obvious resolution would be to vote her off the Board. From your description, you cannot be the only one annoyed with her. If your privacy is being invaded, and such a claim can be proven and is repeated, you can call the police.

Association boards are often a happy home for narcissists and authoritarians.

this is some funny shit😆

R14, you’re my kind of gal. We should grab a stiff martini.

People like OP are THE FIRST to complain loudly to their HOA if a neighbor does anything they don't like all the while they themselves break this or that rule all the time.

Often these are the same people who neglect to pay the annual dues to the point that the HOA has put a lien on their property to collect the back dues + interest owed when they sell the property.

They bitch and moan loudly about this too.

When you live in a place with an HOA, you have to live by the rules at all times. If you don't, you are an asshole and will pay. Read the bylaws carefully before you buy. You may not be the right fit. I've seen HOA boards force people into selling their homes at a loss. Don't think they can't or won't. They can and will. You'd be better off to buy a single family without an HOA if you want to do whatever you want.

shoot her

[quote] You'd be better off to buy a single family without an HOA if you want to do whatever you want.

Agreed, but those are harder and harder to find. At least here in Florida.

Is she a prostitution hoa?

Get a pitbull, OP and unleash it on her.

"Dangerous" dogs and unleased dogs are both violations. TWO strongly worded letters for you!

I always said I wouldn't want an HOA home, but I can see why now why people want to live in one. People can be the worst slobs, and no you can't start cutting hair out of your house etc or turn your front lawn into a wild overgrown pollinator garden.

Do you have access to a woodchipper or a meat-grinder?

Is her name Martha? She might have some important information for you, OP.

Unfortunately the head of my HOA lives 2 houses down from me. When we 1st moved in if I let the grass grow one inch higher than she thought acceptaqble,I got a notice . After the 3rd time I carried my happy ass right to her door and asked her why she was so focused on me,when the lady across from us had hers cut like once a month? 2 years later I dont hear a peep from her about anything. Be nice,but be firm when dealinjg with an HOA,and make it clear you will hire a lawyer in a second.

I got a letter from my HOA about weeds growing in my yard. I went out and looked and looked and couldn't find anything. Finally, I found there were like five blades of grass growing out of the water meter.

Sure, Mrs. Osbourne at R11. For you, yes.

But the HOA lady may not immediately eat it the way you certainly would.

And since the cookie medium is only a delivery system for other goodies to solve the real problem, I'd probably use a Toll House recipe and just add the critical ingredients.

OP, that’s annoying - we have one like that as well. She will draw a mark on the wall in the fire stairwell and then complain if it isn’t gone two days later. She makes life a living hell for the people who work here.

[quote]and unleased dogs are both violations.

Your HOA makes your dog sign a lease? Geez, they are tough.

What’s EST?

Evelyn, Sally, and Teresa

Post lots of escort ads online with stolen photos of hot chicks and put her contact information in all of the ads. Purchase a prepaid phone with cash and use it to connect to a public wi-fi and don't ever turn it on near your house, that way nothing you do can be connected to your name at all.

Pity her... she clearly has no life.

I would come out and talk to her in the most obnoxious and cringeworthy way possible every time she walks by and make sure you make her stay out for the entire time. Hopefully she will learn to avoid your area.

she only speaks to residents whom she deems acceptable and on her level... the others, she acts as though they don't even exist (and don't even mention being gay😳)

Make a complaint and get the other paying members to show up to the board meetings, stop being doormats, did I mention you are paying members? If it's that bad threaten litigation, she'll be gone quick, if not you live in a shitty HOA.

R34 - Not only that, but that dogs have to pass a credit check too!

Put electrical tape on her license plate tabs and then put a big bag of cocaine in her glove box.

Jesus, OP, you have the answer right in front of you.

She goes around peeking in windows? CALL THE FUCKING COPS ON HER NOSY ASS.

"Officer, we have a peeping tom in my neighborhood and I think it's one of my own neighbors!"

[quote]Nosy horrible HOA lady

Redundant

Relax, she will be dead soon. We had someone just like her and she died. She was always angrily offering to show you the correct way to park your car or line up your outside refuse bin. It exhausted her.

CA has some odd peeping tom laws... someone could basically stand right in front of your window and watch you all day, watch you jerking off, walking around nude, having sex... they could even use binoculars to watch you and there ain't nothing you could do about it as long as the voyeur is on public property... if they're on private property, that's different... the nosy horrible HOA lady was on common area property while looking into people's wibdows

An air horn.

My buddy in New England had a similar situation and got rid of the bitch by firing the air horn if she got too close to his place.

OP hates every woman real and imagined.

It's just taking him one thread at a time to get to all of them.

That's called persistance.

It's also called insanity.

You can call it so many things.

In fact, his posts are so versatile they can be sold by RONCO.

Only on late night tv though.

Yes. DL has always loved girls. LOL. We worship vaginas.

[quote]When you live in a place with an HOA, you have to live by the rules at all times. If you don't, you are an asshole and will pay. Read the bylaws carefully before you buy. You may not be the right fit. I've seen HOA boards force people into selling their homes at a loss. Don't think they can't or won't. They can and will. You'd be better off to buy a single family without an HOA if you want to do whatever you want.

Excellent post. Though as others noted, people can be slobs. My neighbors have an old tire leaned up against a try & a dog tied up that *barks*constantly* when it's outside. I wish there was a strong HOA to put the hurt on them.

R51 make the poor dog a little treat and toss it too him. I recommend hamburger and rat poison.

[quote]and toss it too him.

Oh, dear!

That's Oh, deer. To u twat.