Horrible Recipe Pages — Why?

get a new hobby?

OP, most of these sites have a link near the top that will take you directly to the recipe, usually labeled "jump to recipe". If they don't, I skip it because of all that annoying junk you mention.

The answer to "why" is that the recipe blog is mostly about the author's ego, not about food.

These are usually the same places that tell you to use "good-quality mayonnaise" and "fresh butter", which is really helpful because otherwise I would have used horrible off-brand mayo and rancid butter.

Don’t go to to either page 02 or 116 in any cookbook—you’ve been warned.

The reason recipes online have lengthy "stories" or articles preceding them is so the content can be copyrighted. It's annoying but you can scroll past it.

R3 Why

Use Recipe Filter. It shows the recipe as a popup. Most pages do have skip the recipe though.

No one has given the correct answer.

The reason for these atrocious recipe pages is SEO: the longer you spend on a site, the higher Google’s algorithm tends to rank it in search results. So, to maximize ranking, recipe bloggers add a lot of extraneous filler in hopes it will increase your page view time.

If you’re a regular DLer, you can figure out the why^

R7 That's along the lines of what I was thinking

There's worse:

- My husband LOVES this cake/pie/whatever. I make it him six times a week. - Try this easy to make [looks like excrement]. I don't buy from the shops any more. - Easy to make cake with ONE egg!!!! [and umpteen other ingredients].

All of these recipe videos are lamer than lame and just recycling the same few basic recipes. All wanting to go viral for clicks, engagement and $$$$$$. Most seem to be written by bots.

1. You can't copyright a recipe, but you can copyright your blog post.

2. The more keywords you have in a blog post, the more hits you'll get via Google.

3. SEO standards indicate posts should be a minimum of 500 words before the recipe and instructions.

R10 is right about bots, and I see those examples he gives on recipe blogs but also a lot on YouTube cooking videos, too. "My family wants me to make this every day! The most delicious recipe ever! Just two ingredients!"

I have noticed that when you google any recipe, instead of more well known sites coming up first, you get all these unknown blogger sites I’ve never heard of. Forget seeing Martha or NYT or even Food Network. Instead you get Maddy from Illinois with her hubby’s favorite recipe.

I kind of appreciate that, r12, because it means I'm more likely to get a family website or a nice Asian lady giving out Asian recipes.

kimchimari is one of my favorites.

R10, there is one recipe I make frequently because of a video I saw. It’s for honey garlic chicken breast made in a sauté pan and it’s fucking delicious. It does live up to its “I make this every week” brag.

Don't forget the "Day After" toilet photos.

To do Keto without eating the same thing every day, you have to cook/bake etc all the time.

I get OP's same irritation with Keto recipe sites all the time and it really is so fucking annoying. I'm not a natural cook so doing the Keto diet has been an adventure in more than one way by venturing into these sites (and into the kitchen) - I just thought it was just some weird thing about cooking enthusiasts. But, it works and I find I can't give it up even though I'm down to my original goal weight, because it turns out that carbs tend to make me depressed/anxious. So I'm sticking with it, and am happy about that, except for the fact that I have to keep going to these annoying websites.

But the recipe sites are fucking annoying.

[quote]Photos of finished meal

REALLY UNAPPETIZING photos of finished meal.

What I hate the most are the inane and moronic comments in said recipe blog posts.

R18 especially “I’m gonna make this tonight!”

I love the TikTok videos where a dish that starts out looking good becomes an increasing horror show as one after another packaged food is dumped into the bowl.

[quote]especially “I’m gonna make this tonight!”

Don't forget "I haven't tried this yet, but it looks delish! FIVE STARS!"

Je t'adore, OP.

I search for recipes online a lot, and I'm just about fed up with the process. So many recipes with obvious errors, stupid instructions (my favorite is "3 teaspoons of ... " -- anyone who doesn't know that 3 tsp = 1 tbs shouldn't be posting recipes), incorrectly named ingredients (I saw one that called for "instant lemon jello" and I have no idea whether they meant Jell-O pudding -- which is "instant" or regular gelatin -- which isn't), etc.

I use an app called Just the Recipe and it eliminates all the nonsense.

Pictures of the 🐩 are welcome

I honestly just scroll down to the actual recipe, skipping all the bullshit "storytime." I also take screen shots of recipes on my phone this way, usually one shot listing the ingredients and the instructions on 1-2 additional shots. Do this for all online recipes you want to save because those links don't last forever, but it's also good for avoiding those novel-length introductions preceding them.

I just jump to the PRINT RECIPE option and save them as a PDF.

Hi y’all! Sorry it’s been a while since I updated this page – I tried a recipe for rum cake and the court order for brawling in the Starbucks parking lot has really bit into my blog time. I wanted to share with you a recipe for a most delicious a little known delicacy – the fried egg! Fried eggs are eaten all over the world, evidently, and are called fried eggs because they are eggs that are fried, rather like mine were at age 37 and I should have frozen them but I didn’t so that’s why we had a surrogate and it had nothing to do with the fact that my hubster is 62 and Hawthorne and Halfling turned out fine anyway I think or so the most current au pair tells me weekly on her exit interview.

The egg is the most amazing food there is. There is no other form of food that comes out of bird’s asshole, for one. Well, maybe that weird little packet of guts you’re supposed to make gravy with. I don’t know how to make gravy with bird asshole packet guts. It seems disgusting, so I just throw them out and use pizza sauce instead. The egg is surrounded by a shell, rather like my soul, according to my yoga teacher and to a lesser extent my therapist. Within the egg are two things, a white and a yolk, just like Japanese bondage porno. When you crack the egg, these two things come out, except if you’ve had a few glasses of wine and you hit the egg too hard against the pan and the shell kind of gets mixed in.

Fried eggs are most commonly eaten at breakfast which is why I never heard of them as for me breakfast consists of a four mile jog through our gated community with my fake blond hair tied into a ponytail. Gotta keep these tits perky, or the hubster will be trading me in for a newer model probably that slut secretary of his I know she’s a slut, yeah, she’s 58 and worked for the board chair, right, pull the other one, I know a gold-digger when I see one.

Recipe:

One egg

One frying pan

One fire (under the pan)

Start fire

Put pan over fire

Break egg carefully so that contents go into pan and not onto floor

Cook until it starts to burn

Pry from pan

Deposit on plate

Open vodka and take swig

Think of Jimmy who was so sweet but is only a plumber

Cry

Mine are always nothing but la creme de la creme! Perfectly written, perfectly planned, perfectly original!

LMAO, R27!

The cunts get paid extra for every second you have to scroll

You're an excellent writer

R27 do you come here often? Dying.

Nearly very recipe site is like that. I’ve been going to this one because I’ve been trying to make healthier desserts, but she goes into a whole spiel with every recipe.

I want to be in a throuple with OP and R27

[quote]What I hate the most are the inane and moronic comments in said recipe blog posts.

The crazy comments are the best, though. "I substituted celery for cheddar cheese and used a can of cream of mushroom soup instead of ground beef and these tacos were AWFUL. Zero stars!"

"This is going into the regular rotation! This tuna casserole was purr-fect for nights when we have soccer, hubby's 'working late at the office again' and Brayden's tap dancing class! It gave me all the feels!"

Missy from Indianapolis

One website asks if you modified their recipe in anyway and how.

People complain about a recipe after making dramatic alterations to it.

Or they're complimentary but like this, R37:

"I made this recipe last night and my grumpy hubster and picky littles all loved it! I had no trout filets so substituted beefsteak, was out of rice pilaf so used mashed potatoes, am allergic to artichokes so sautéed spinach and didn't feel like making the pineapple custard so served peach ice cream. Ten out of ten would make again!!!!"