Alligator kills 85-year-old woman in Florida retirement community

Alligators don’t rip you apart. Crocodiles do that.

Alligators drown you. Then they either swallow you whole if you’re small enough (so, large mouth bass, opossum), or if you’re too big they stow you away somewhere underwater so your body rots and they can then eat you up.

I'm glad her dog got away.

This is how my mother died.

Not to sound all "Mary"!, R1, but oh my God.

[quote]Alligators don’t rip you apart. Crocodiles do that.

Literal violence!

Maybe DeSatan isn’t the worst thing to happen to Florida after all…

R6, depends on who you ask.

So young!

Video or it didn't happen

You NEVER walk your dog besides a murky body of water in Florida

That’s how these stories always happen

I don’t know why this isn’t drilled Ed into the heads of newcomers

I’m scared as fuck of these dinosaurs (the gator not the grandma)

[quote]Imagine making it to 85 years on this planet only to be dragged under water and ripped apart in the worst possible manner.

Just out of curiosity, what's the best possible manner to be ripped apart?

Are alligators like those cats in nursing homes who know when people are going to die and snuggle up near them maybe?

I know everyone needs to live somewhere, especially when living on a fixed income after retirement, but damn! Florida just seems to be such a disastrous choice.

Hurricanes, high heat, humidity, floods, mosquitoes, alligators, DeSantis, MAGAts, homophones.

When I moved into my place, there was a prairie next to my property. Then a hurricane blew through and turned it (apparently, back) into a swamp. I had had a beautiful view that subsequently became obscured by invasive and very thorny vines and various weeds that grew into vine-covered saplings with trunks 1-4" across and 6-7' tall. This winter, I have taken it upon myself to clear this brush to get my view back. I've cleared about 30' of the bank so far, culling 11 truckloads of brush. Yesterday I built a makeshift staircase down to the water, in which I am certain alligators make their home.

Did I make a mistake, DLers? I have my beautiful view back.

I come from alligator territory. Gators dig caves up under the water into the river banks where they stay most of the time during the cold months. When they kill something, as R1 said, they just drag it under water until it drowns, then they take it up into their cave to snack on during their semi hibernation. Unfortunately a human body would be hard to pull into a gator cave until the gator was one huge mofo. The openings to those caves are not very big so trying to get a human body being held sideways in a gator's mouth through the opening would be impossible.

Crocs on the other hand grab their prey, then do what's called a 'death roll'. They roll over many times to break the body of the prey into pieces. Both crocs and gators use the same maneuver if they're captured by hunters in order to get away.

R14: Don’t forget the sinkholes. Florida should be called The Hellhole State.

[quote]they just drag it under water until it drowns,

Well, we ain't gonna tolerate drag no more in Florida.

How would they know which alligator killed that lady? I'm afraid to ask that question, because its an awful story. I'm asking anyway though.

^ they breath test it -- if when it burps they detect Geritol, they know they have the right gator

As if there weren't enough reasons already not to live in FL; there are canals/ditches all over populated areas and in Tampa (and I'm sure other places), there are frequent stories about gators hiding under cars during the summer to escape the heat & every time there's a storm & the water churns up, the gators come out. If anything, it's surprising this kind of thing doesn't happen more often than it does.

I don't think those ponds get more than one gator at a time. Gators are notoriously bitchy to other gators. Crocs on the other hand tolerate one another.

R15 Wouldn’t doing some controlled burning be easier?

R20, 😂

Most likely because like most smaller lakes in the south there's usually only one big gator in the lake. If any other gator tries to set up shop in the lake it gets sent packing or killed by the big guy. People need to use their brains when talking near water known to have large gators in them. The damn things will sit just off the shoreline right under the water waiting for some prey to come sauntering by. That gator didn't want that old woman. It wanted her dog, but the dog got away so the gator took whatever it could.

States that have gators do not put out nearly enough warning signs along gator inhabited waters.

R21, when I worked at Home Shopping in St. Pete as a statistician, their offices are right next to a swamp. There's a huge parking lot for the many employees and yes, the gators used to come over from the swamp and nap in the parking lot. I saw one out my office window right under the driver's side door of a car at quitting time and we all had a good laugh knowing that THAT guy was going to be late getting home from work!

when talking near water = when WALKING near water

MAGATs love to talk shit about California, but I’m convinced it beats out any hell hole in the south, a million times over, for so many valid reasons.

Yeah, mountain lions are scary, but if I’ve gotta go, I’d rather do so with a mountain lion, than a freaking alligator.

Fortunately, I have enough sense that I don’t have to succumb to either.

OMG this thread. Why did I come in here?

[quote] I know everyone needs to live somewhere, especially when living on a fixed income after retirement, but damn! Florida just seems to be such a disastrous choice.

[quote] Hurricanes, high heat, humidity, floods, mosquitoes, alligators, DeSantis, MAGAts, homophones.

What r14 said here.

This is no put-down to people that escape cold climates. They have real, and legitimate reasons to move, even if it's because they just don't want to put up with Winter conditions.

Every day, however, during late September through March, I count my lucky stars that I have a deep, loving bond with Winter.

I could never live without its cold, snowy, beautiful glory.

Yes, it's dangerous to drive on ice. Yes, winter is work.

But the trade-off is not only the beauty of Winter but, alligators, crocs, assorted other warm weather creatures, don't want any part of it.

Dear Lord, some of the exaggerated fears some of you have. People need to be careful walking close to gator infested waters, but honestly do you know how many people are killed by alligators every year in the US? An average of 1 person per year. From 1948 to 2021 there were 442 gator attacks on people in Florida. Only a minuscule number of those attacks ended up in the death of a person. And most of the 'attacks' didn't even require medical care. Gators will use their tail to slap their prey hard, trying to knock them senseless. So if someone goes too close to one and they get their legs slapped they classify that as a gator attack.

If you've ever been around a gator in the wild you know that when they see a human coming they run in the opposite direction. They only attack when they think they're about to be attacked, looking for small prey, or end up in a situation like that poor old 85 year old woman walking her dog.

A 4' gator was captured in the lake at Prospect Park in Brooklyn the other day. Some asshole keeping it as a pet obviously dumped the poor creature when it became sick or too much to care for.

Thankfully it was taken to the Bronx Zoo for rehab.

[quote]Unfortunately a human body would be hard to pull into a gator cave until the gator was one huge mofo. The openings to those caves are not very big so trying to get a human body being held sideways in a gator's mouth through the opening would be impossible.

They’ll store a body anywhere it won’t float to the surface. If there’s a large tree branch, piece of garbage, rocks…it becomes their pantry.

Is alligator eaten by humans?

Most of the housing developments in FL have manmade water features. Why bother if the are just going to draw alligators? Put in a tasteful stone or concrete foundation if you must have decorative water features in a development.

My brother in law was golfing in some southern state and a big gator launched itself out of the water trying to grab him. Mike said he had no idea he could run that fast. Creepy. My sister was there, she said the gators sped was phenomenal.

That was how Dorothy should have left the Golden Girls. She and her new hubby get drunk and walk by a Gator pond and they both get devoured. Sophia of course will make a joke.

What did she taste like?

[quote] Is alligator eaten by humans?

Absolutely. I've had alligator tail meat a couple of times. It's quite tasty. It's like a cross between white meat chicken and flounder.

[quote] My sister was there, she said the gators sped was phenomenal.

For a relatively short distance a gator can outrun a man. But the beasts give out pretty fast once their initial forward thrust plays out.

R14, I agree. Although I am a beach lover, I wouldn't want to live there.

Yup, r36.

I live in the upper midwest and am used to fresh rivers, lakes and small water hazards on golf courses where the largest things living in them are fish.

Although, come to think of it, a large snapper turtle is nothing to fool with.

Anyway, my boyfriend and I were golfing in Florida. He hit his ball into a water hazard. Out of sheer habit, without a thought, I started for the hazard to see if I could retrieve the golf ball.

I froze.

Standing right next to the water was a small alligator. I didn't see "small". I saw a person-eating water pit bull. I slowly made my way away, walking backwards.

I know- Mary! But if you're not used to seeing them...

R14 What's most distressing is hearing of northern climes plagued by mosquitoes: Alaska, Michigan, Wisconsin, etc.

R14- Don’t be so negative.

Florida does give us-

Dorothy

Blanche

Rose 🌹

and

Sophia

True, R44.

Gave us the late, great Tom Petty, as well.

Get rid of the republicans (both in politics and in the populace) in Florida, and you have a paradise. I grew up in the south and I love the 'wild' aspects of life outside the city. Just like so many in southern California love the same thing about the deserts. When you get far off the beaten path, no matter what part of the country you're in, the prospects of danger from wildlife increase dramatically. Smart people know how conduct themselves in that environment. People who spend their whole lives in cities and never venture out think they're safe from all the wild creatures in the country. They forget about all the wild creatures in the cities they have to be afraid of. Namely others of their own species. In fact, city dwellers are probably far more apt to be attacked by other people than they would be by wild animals in the country.

[quote]Alligator kills 85-year-old woman in Florida retirement community

Did you see how she was dressed?

Imagine skulking around the periphery of a lake all day looking for a tasty meal, and winding up with a bony 85-year-old piece of dried-out mutton.

Apparently the illogical fear we have of alligators is rooted in primordial response from when our smaller ancestors first came down from trees and had to be afraid of them for everyday survival. Strange, isn’t it. There’s no particular reason anyone who does not actively go into or next to swampwater should be scared of one, much like one who doesn’t swim in the ocean has no reason to be scared of sharks.

Hopefully, the woman wasn’t receiving hormone therapy. The poor gator was probably ingesting Boniva, Coumadin, and blood thinner.

We are the contaminated food source.

[Quote]Most of the housing developments in FL have manmade water features. Why bother if the are just going to draw alligators?

Those ponds aren’t there to look pretty, they’re necessary to collect water so the buildings don’t sink.

[quote]Imagine making it to 85 years on this planet . . .

. . . . and then ending up in the cesspool that is florida. a Hell on earth

So tragic. Painful way to die. Should have been a gated community to keep alligators away

[quote]So tragic. Painful way to die. Should have been a gated community to keep alligators away

Do you think the homeowner’s association will reject their application like they do with other riff raff?

Is there surveillance video of the attack?

I'm crossing my fingers it was that misanthrope

Frieda Claxton

She was probably hoping to be strangled by a Burmese python instead.

But the cute dog got away? What breed of dog was it?

One DeSantis voter lost. Yawn...

So, the old lady became an alligator's snack purse. Is that what I'm hearing.

It was probably revenge for that matching set of alligator luggage and the 12 pairs of alligator pumps in her closet.

[quote]Hurricanes, high heat, humidity, floods, mosquitoes, alligators, DeSantis, MAGAts, homophones.

Yes, those soundalike words are a real bitch.

It’s not funny, but the way they have the gator’s arms tied behind its back made me LOL.

True (cringey) story: My cray stepmother retired to a gated golf community in Naples, Florida. She loved to walk her Schnauzer along what looked like irrigation canals that criss-crossed the area. She told us, proudly, that she would regularly take stale cinnamon rolls, etc. and throw them to the gators, to see if any would pop up. My partner and I were with her one time when she started to dangle the dog over the water to 'see if anything would happen'. We freaked out and she stopped, but didn't see what the fucking problem was . . . I'm sure the woman involved in yesterday's killing wasn't doing anything so stupid -- except maybe walking too close to the water with a major bait object (small dog). This story just reminded me of how stupid my stepmother was and the stuff she would do to get attention.

The meat was well-seasoned, but a little on the tough side.

However, it was delivered to me in a timely fashion.

Unfortunately, the furry little dessert ran away before I could catch it.

Overall I'd give my experience at Spanish Lakes Retirement Community a solid 3.5 stars

^it's those types that never get killed. It's always the sweet, minding your own business types!

I wonder what the Goys would've done if confronted by an aggressive alligator (or someone else's property, of course!)?

That’s an absolutely vile thing to do r64

I’m mortified

Obviously, they would've called Brian Buranski, r66, after they viciously verbally abused the gator.

What they would [Bold]not[/Bold] have done was kept their fucking mouths shut, or run from gunshots pointed squarely at them.

Florida is such a shithole. I don't get why people would want to live there. I know, no state taxes blah blah

My in-laws used to live in a retirement community in Bluffton, SC. A similar thing happened there: a woman lost sight of her dog for a minute and an alligator living in one of the community lakes snatched it. Needless to say, when we went to visit, our dog stayed in the house the entire time.

Where did it go to poop?!

Which wine goes best with vintage flesh?

[quote]Imagine making it to 85 years on this planet only to be dragged under water and ripped apart in the worst possible manner.

As opposed to the much better alternative of merely being ripped apart?

Oh, dear.

At our first apartment in Tampa, when we signed the lease the office manager rattled off the warning not to walk too close to the lake with our dogs because of the neighborhood alligator as matter- of- factly as telling us not to flush anything but toilet paper.

She didn’t blink or bat an eye, and we never did!

They aren't lakes - as Floridians and some others like to refer to them. They are water retention ponds.

[quote]The primary purpose of a retention pond is to collect runoff from surrounding higher elevation areas. They have become a common fixture around residential developments, and are so effective that they are often required when building new structures, parking lots, and roads.

They try to "dress them up" in Florida by sometimes installing water fountains in the middle, or some type of landscape lighting. People like to call them "lakes" to increase property values.

The water level rises and falls according to dry conditions or rain storms and hurricanes. In a drought, it's just a pit. They often harbor alligators and they are always a breeding ground for mosquitoes.

We had one across the street in our small development. Since water runoff is directed to the retention ponds, alligators travel. More then once an alligator would walk the street of our neighborhood, but they were mostly visible when they sunned themselves on the banks of the pond.

We had to have multiple mosquito traps in our backyard.

There was a similar incident in Sanibel FL about 15 years ago. The victim was also a senior citizen, and she was gardening in her yard. At the other end of the yard, an alligator emerged from a lake/pond, snuck up on the woman, grabbed her, and dragged her back to the pond. It pulled her into the water and started to roll her around. Neighbors had heard her screaming, and they ran into the pond to help. They couldn't get her out of the alligators jaws, but they held her head up above the water so that she could breath as the alligator continued doing whatever below the surface. Emergency personnel arrived and they were able to free the woman. They got her to a hospital, where she later died of infection from the wounds.

Told you I was hardcore!

[quote] in Florida

A doomed life, right there.

[quote] A similar thing happened there: a woman lost sight of her dog for a minute and an alligator living in one of the community lakes snatched it.

Communities in the western US have the same issue with various wild animals - either various mountain lion/cougar/whatever wildcats, or coyotes, snapping up little floofy dogs or cats.

I'm horrible, because I chuckle a little when I read NextDoor and see "coyote sighting in XYZ Community" and then the very next post will be Margie from XYZ Community: "Has anyone seen my cat?"

[quote]Did you see how she was dressed?

Was she stuff in a sausage casing dress and slathered in bbq sauce?

I have a terror of alligators, the way the move in those beastly little legs and can sometimes charge. I also hate crocodiles but these brutes can actually chase you on dry land.

Poor lady, I hope she didn't suffer.

[quote]but they held her head up above the water so that she could breath

Oh, DEAR!

[quote]She didn’t blink or bat an eye, and we never did!

Your eyes must be incredibly dry.

The gator probably wanted her dog, but she was moving slower, so he took her instead.

The gators were in Florida for millions of years before these oatmeal spoons moved down there with their Buicks and their golf carts. Fuck 'em all, I say!

[quote]Gators will…slap their prey hard

Wow, they really ARE bitchy!

Who's the apex predator now, bitch?

What will happen to the captured animal?

Unfortunately it will be killed so its stomach contents can be examined.

Wily little mutt was probably tired of the old bag.

'Why can you just die already and leave me your stuff? Like the creepy German fashion dude and his cat Choupette? Or that dog, Günter, with the Netflix series?'

'Really, I'm bored to fucking death with you, and each day the walk is a little shorter. Don't think I don't notice.'

We have coyotes in my neighborhood.

But they are much more charismatic than alligators.

You know, they aren't real, R44.

[quote]It’s not funny, but the way they have the gator’s arms tied behind its back made me LOL.

I was coming here to post the same thing. Damn, that's a terribly sad story, but the pic looks like the cops have him cuffed behind his back and are ready to drag him into a squad car to take him downtown to the precinct for questioning.

Careful, R91. The DL cops will be after you for telling them those folks aren't real people.

[quote]Imagine making it to 85 years on this planet only to be dragged under water and ripped apart in the worst possible manner.

LOL

R92 I thought the same thing when I saw the trussed-up gator!

Thanks to Florida we now know that toddlers and old people can’t outrun an alligator.

R3 wins for funniest post of the year. There's no way anyone can top that in the next ten months.

FlawedDuh man Ronda Santis's stealth visit to NYC (Staten Island) this weekend coincided with the discovery of a four foot long alligator in a Brooklyn pond.

WTF?

"This is how my swamp-dwelling mother fed my siblings, and me" cried George Santos through his crocodile tears.

Another day in the banana republic.

r64: “was” as in the past tense? These horror stories!

Yes, come on, folks......we can't depend on Disney for the food supply.....sometimes we have to take things into our own......uh......hands.

Gator got a bit of a surprise when he bit into the colostomy bag.

[quote] Gators are notoriously bitchy to other gators.

So the gators are like every other DLer.

Tick-tock.

I'm getting Lake Placid vibes.

Lol, R11!😂

That explains the smell of mothballs and ribbon candy in the gator scat.

[quote] This is how I died.

[quote]—George Santos

FTFY

"Too tough and stringy," said the Gator, "not enough meat ether," he added, disappointed with his meal.

R20 bahahahahaha you cunts are ruthless.

There are some genuine psychos on this thread.

I wonder if gators have a taste for sea food?

Do they eat fish?

Clams, perhaps?

Damn you, gator!

Gators can tolerate brackish and salt water for a short time but really belong in freshwater.

Go Gatah!

They worship iguanas there, I'm told

Fido set up that old abusive bitch to get eaten! But she just had to buy the cheap, generic dog food. It's the perfect crime, really.

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Florida needs to warn people every fucking day.

You cannot walk your dogs or have animals near the water there because you are going to be stalked by an alligator.

It is unbelievable because Animal Abusers do this all the time in the South. My guess, is this elderly woman saw others doing this, so she falsely assumed walking your dog by these waters were safe. It is NEVER safe.

More Medicare budget for me!

What was on her Victrola (or do we still ask that here?)?

Well, it’s a start.

[quote]Alligators don’t rip you apart. Crocodiles do that.

You know how you tell the difference? Alligators will see you later and Crocodiles will after a while.

R118 do you really think people they care enough to warn people?

[quote]Just out of curiosity, what's the best possible manner to be ripped apart?

By a super powerful explosion so death is instantaneous.

Just sayin'.

R44 is the biggest turd on the planet. Bigger than Christina Metz. The four girls have absolutely nothing to do with Florida. They would always be dressed head to toe for winter in Minnesota while supposedly in fucking Miami in the summer.

Northern states have bears .... and Sasquatch.

Why was she walking her dog next to a goddamn lake with a tasty dog in a known alligator area at 85?

?

I guess if she was 85, she was walking a lap dog, not a German Shepherd.

[Quote] Gators can tolerate brackish and salt water

Sadly Naya Rivera could not.

[quote]R16 Gators dig caves up under the water into the river banks where they stay most of the time during the cold months.

Eeek! I don’t like this.

That gator never bothered with nobody!

Betty White was fabulous in that R130!

R133 That'd have been a more realistic portrayal of Florida than the fucking crap we got from the show. Someone should have a thread on the fallacies of the Golden Girls.

She was lovely.

R130 the Betty White character was based on R64's stepmother!

I saw the first ten seconds of the clip at R133 and stopped watching. I can handle people being munched on in horror flicks, but not animals.

Grandma got dragged under by a gator

Taking little Precious for a pee

You may say there’s no such thing as gators

But as for me and Precious, we believe…

Was it someone at The Villages?

Any body of water in Florida, even a pond.....keep your distance. There's danger lurking in those waters.

Aw she looked good for 85 if that picture was recent R135

She probably was an old Maggat so a win win!

She did not die right away, according to a report on Inside Edition.

She surfaced and when a neighbor who came running to the shore shouted at her to begin swimming away, the victim replied “I can’t, he’s got me!”, then the gator pulled her under.

Oh the poor woman, that's awful. This is the one occasion I wouldn't mind if the neighbour had his gun

[quote]walking your dog by these waters were safe.

Oh, dear!

[quote]Alligators don’t rip you apart. Crocodiles do that.

By that point, does it really matter?

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

Say "Hey, alligatah!"

She was also tasty R135!

And marinated in wine R135!

R143 The gator, got her. Poor girl.

Wow. It wouldn't have been able to survive in the cold very long. Some sick fuck must have released it there.

If it was in The Villages - no big loss.

I [italic] had[italic] him.

R154, Cut or uncut?

^It was really murky and muddy down there, filthy, and he smelled HORRIBLE! I'm not 100 percent sure, frankly.

Hate crocodile and alligators. When they're not munching on people, what ARE they eating? Years ago in Australia, some wallabies were trapped in an area by water from heavy flooding. It didn't take long for crocodiles to be seen in the water near them.

🐊 That alligator is damn lucky that the cops didn't show up first.

They would have tasered him, and knocked every one of his teeth out.

But they wouldn't dare try the [italic] "Kneeling Knee on the Neck" Procedure.

[R14]

Not to mention Trump.

Her children must've been devastated. Imagine losing your mom that way- who was still seemingly healthy - still active and not bed-ridden.

Where's MY dinner?

R160, But, they’ll have the best interview story ever if they someday become a Jeopardy! contestant.

There’s video of the attack.

Poor Henry. He just wanted a snack and gets euthanized for being a gator. Nuthin but injustice in the world.

OMG R163. She was a total fucking idiot just aimlessly standing there like a moron waiting for it to kill them both. She deserved that. Thank god the dog survived.

This is exactly like that lil black girl who was eaten at a lake in Disney World, why the fuck were there no signs? Warning! Ten foot croc named Henry lives in this fucking lake, bitches!

Two of DL’s favorite topics:

Charlie’s Angels

Jamie Lee Curtis

+

🐊

Enjoy!

85 years old. She obviously didn't see it. Poor woman.

What happens to the gator?

[quote]Cut or uncut?

Well, now, cut.

[quote]What happens to the gator?

He becomes Grand Marshall of the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, Rose.

R163 I thought I wanted to see it.....turns out - I didn't.

They should have John Williams score that video!

She should have not walked so close to the water, there are gators in all water bodies in Florida. We always know to watch for snakes gators etc around here when by the water and it's not very bad here. She was pretty stupid, I had to say it.

R172 They needed Benny Hill music.

Rest in Pieces . . .

Que horror

That video above showing the alligator swimming towards her. Why didn’t they warn her? There should be a sign not to stand close to the waters or have it fenced.

I think she was tired of having to take care of that irritating, yappy little dog, and was hoping that Henry would come out and take care of it for her.

Being the cunts we are on the DL, most of us are #TeamHenry

Based solely on the photograph above in R163, I'd say the lady was really too dumb to live.

I hope her last thoughts were, "I hope I'm at least delicious!"

^I imagine she was reminded of the strains of a deservedly popular radio hit from the 1960s by Tony Joe White, personally.

R177 everybody in Florida knows you don't stand or walk next to a pond which inevitably is home to an alligator. She was stupid.

[quote] [R177] everybody in Florida knows you don't stand or walk next to a pond which inevitably is home to an alligator.

How informed people in your delightful state are!

So was the dog’s name Trooper or Trouper?

Bitch, pick up that dog and RUN.

Better yet, leave Fluffy behind to be the gator's lunch and RUN.

Most people with animals would choose to die rather than let anything happen to the only thing that loves them.

They euthanized the gator. Poor Henry

They shouldn’t have killed him. He was just doing what gators do…

Gators must have incredible vision for Henry to have seen that small dog from so far away.

Just read there are 1.2M gators in the state of Florida. Yikes

[quote]Gators must have incredible vision for Henry to have seen that small dog from so far away.

They do have good vision, but with a front facing blindspot.

The clueless family acquaintance attending the funeral: "Did she go peacefully?"

Has anyone asked for her stuff yet?

Doilies and old knitting needles?

No thanks.

[quote]Just read there are 1.2M gators in the state of Florida. Yikes

Yeah, but how many of them there critters is down there at the GatorLand? That’s gotta account for a whole lotta em.

There are definitely more than enough to go around, that's for sure.

I saw the video on the DM - looks like it was going for the dog initially then noticed the lady. Unfortunately it cuts out right before the alligator gets her.

^^^ I assume it's the same video as R163.

1.2 million Alligators.

And were it not for air conditioning, how many humans would live in Florida right now?

She would have been able to get away if she hadn’t been wearing her “Lucky Ham” . . .

There was a video clip online a year ago about an alligator which came out of a pond on a golf course and grabbed a Jack Russell who went too close. The owner jumped into the pond to wrestle the dog away from the gator.

I see Trooper soon hot-tailed it and left the old lady to her fate. That was quick thinking of the other women to get the pole, I don't know if I would have been that quick

My favorite daydream is Trump gets too close to a water hazard on a golf course, a 15 ft alligator grabs him and drags him under and the Secret Service pretend they haven't seen a thing.

Hey man, a gator's gotta eat, you know.

My basset hound would've sensed the gator when it was still halfway across the pond. Trooper must be elderly. :(

[quote] Alligator kills 85-year-old woman in Florida retirement community

Alligator kills 85-year-old woman in Florida old folks' home.

R207 Every Basset I've ever known has been horribly slow, lazy, and gassy. And they'll walk right up Cruella herself if she offered them bacon.

Angela Basset did the thing, r209!

I feel for all parties involved: the woman who lost her life, Henry who was euthanized, the poor woman desperate to save her and watching the whole thing unfold and the little dog now without its beloved owner.

RIP

Will Trooper be treated for survivor guilt?

[quote] Video or it didn't happen

There was video released, cutting off before it got gory. Horrible way to die.

[quote]There was video released, cutting off before it got gory

Party Poopers

[quote]There should be a sign not to stand close to the waters or have it fenced.

Shouldn't people just fucking already know that in bodies of water there are alligators? How dumb are they?

That's like saying there should be signs in the sea about sharks. She was asking for it and she got it.

Does pepper spray work on gators when they've climbed out of the water?

Two hours later the alligator was seen wearing human skin pumps

What was on her victrola?

All you need is a spray bottle with a mixture of ammonia and human urine. Maybe that only works to discourage gators from living near your home. Maybe it doesn't work when they're attacking you. This guy says pepper spray doesn't work on reptiles.

I guess it's so much easier to stay away from ponds and lakes.

R218, ask r120. He’ll know.

The picture of the alligator with his hands tied behind his back is hysterical. Sorry it just is.

“You have the right to remain amphibious.”

"I can't breathe!"

Those fuckers could at least let him put on a shirt before cuffing him that way.

Has a Go Fund Me page been established for Trooper?

Maybe we should re-title this thread.

"Fat senile old racist bitch moves to Florida and gets eaten by an alligator."

Sucks they killed the alligator - he was just going about his business. Most people know not to walk around the edge of bodies of water in Florida.

I would seriously love to see this old bitch's obituary.

Did she pray to jesus to get eaten by an alligator?

[quote]And were it not for air conditioning, how many humans would live in Florida right now?

Not me, muthafucka, that’s for sure!

The old woman’s Facebook shows that she did follow MAGAt shit, so there’s that.

Horse paste! That poor beast has consumed meat contaminated by ivermectin and boxed wine.

Can I have her things?

Has Fox News blamed Secretary Buttigieg yet? You know it's coming. If only he could have prevented the alligators from traveling our waterways!!

I hope she knew the dog got away. What horrifying last moments.

Why the hell would she walk her small dog near the lake?? That's what attracted the alligator. She honestly would've been safer if it was just herself. Alligators are attracted to small things low to the ground like animals and children.

Horrible way to go and usually unpreventable once they get you in your mouth and start the dreaded "death roll."

Thank God the dog survived. The owner was just stupid and paid the price.

Speaking of which, the stones on this man. He's not even an alligator wrangler. Zero training but still wrestled an alligator to save her. Wow. That's going to be a birthday story that kid will tell until he's good and grown.

He was just being an alligator he doesn’t deserve to die

Personally I see no need for alligators, anywhere. They should get rid of all of them.

Pretty chilling that one moment you're out walking your dog on a beautiful sunny day and ten minutes later you're dead, though I do agree its her fault for not educating herself about safety around alligators.

[quote] Why the hell would she walk her small dog near the lake?? That's what attracted the alligator

Yes, the dogs are to blame.

Australia, today.

Alligators 🐊 are a false flag - she was ground up and fed to democrat satan babies grown in tubes.

Exactly R227. I'm Australian so we have crocodiles and you don't fuck around with them. What a dumb bitch. She got what exactly she deserved.

R240 - this is from the story you linked:

"Local ranger Nikita Jack-Tayley, who was one of the first people to respond to the incident, said [bold]there are croc warning signs at the site[/bold]. “I thought that it was a bit [bold]silly of him[/bold], entering the water because we do have [bold]croc-infested waters/bold],” she told 7NEWS".

The man was walking in crocodile infested water with signs up all over the place saying that there were crocodiles everywhere. He's a bloody idiot.

Uh oh.

R242 I thought Nikita was a male.

r242 Yeah but you Australians are built different when it comes to wildlife, in general. It's like...you don't care that deadly creatures exist or something. Just completely unfazed as a people.

All she had to do was poke the gator in the eye or hit him in the top part of the skull or the side of the jaw.

She wasn't trying.

Were the residents of that retirement community not warne at all that it might not be a good idea to walk near the edge of the lake due to gators? I see that video and I'm infuriated; the old lady is amling along right next to the water with her little mutt! They were sitting ducks for a gator. Gators are fast. They attack very quickly. There should have been signs warning of the danger.

Stupid bitch.

It's obvious that this 85-year-old was on the verge of dementia.

Doesn't Fla also have an alarming invasive population of poisonous snakes like boas, etc. due to their escaping from illegal pet importers during hurricanes and shit? It's like fking Jurassic Park. No thanks.

[quote]That's like saying there should be signs in the sea about sharks

Actually, many beaches warn of shark danger. But I get your point.

So I guess that's a "No" on the open casket funeral.

much longer video of the attack

I heard she was MAGA, so ...

Remember that corn-fed little boy who got eaten by a crocodile at Disney? Do people not learn?

[Quote] This is exactly like that lil black girl who was eaten at a lake in Disney World, why the fuck were there no signs? Warning! Ten foot croc named Henry lives in this fucking lake, bitches!

Wasn’t it a German boy? It was the kid of foreign tourists

No, R256. He was a kind of fat kid from the Midwest.

R252, It was only her leg the gator chewed on, her cause of death was ruled as drowning.

Open casket would still be possible.

Her obituary page . . .

Here’s the story about the Disney death. He was from Nebraska

R259 Omg. Someone wrote: Too bad it wasn't I who gnawed off your chicken leg. ~ Christina Metz.

Gators are usually extremely torpid, lazy looking, creatures, who appear to hardly want to move at all, when lolling in the sun. It's one way they instill false confidence in those around them. When "inspired" they can move *much* faster than a human being can run away from them (for short distances). Granny was none too sharp in getting as close to that big boy as she did, under any circumstances. So, uh, how much did he manage to gobble up before his dinner was taken away from him? Anybody know?

And yes, they euthanized him because any time an animal attacks a human being, they have automatically "developed a taste for human flesh." I'm surprised this place allowed that one to get to that size. I know of a pretty famous golf course down below Jacksonville, with a waterway that is full of alligators, and once they get to be a little over 4 feet in length the club has them "relocated," i.e. surreptitiously caught, killed, and carted away. It's kind of amazing how they were on the verge of extinction in FL about 4 decades ago, and now you don't dare go swimming in FL in fresh water for fear of being killed by them. They are everywhere.

Poor granny will never experience her dried up count being slurped again

Old ladies are not having sex, much less cunnilingus. What a ridiculous idea. I have known numerous old white ladies in the past and none of them are having sex unless they are married. Sometimes marriage stops the sex, too. So that can be another dead end. Old girls have a sell by date, after that it is over.

R264, those Florida aging communities are sex romps. I bet she had her share

This dance was banned in my high school.

It's fun till the bitches take over.

I feel better about the woman’s death, seeing that she was asking for it being so close to the water and being next to a small animal, plus that the gator was visible as it approached her. I should be able to avoid doing the mistakes she made.

Maybe their shoes and handbags should come back in style.

(Quote]Just out of curiosity, what's the best possible manner to be ripped apart?

By the 12-inch-long, beer-can-thick cock of the rough trade you picked up at the bus stop. 😉

[quote]Old ladies are not having sex, much less cunnilingus.

The stories out of the Villages would curl your hair.

Just because it happens in one place doesn't mean it applies everywhere. Good queef. I know for a fact, old bitches ain't getting it.

R262 could feed GatorLand with all those extra commas.

I want to see the uncensored video. Is that too much to ask?

Gloria Submerge

I think everyone is being too hard on the victim, maybe she wasn't as "sharp" as she once was and forgot herself.

[quote]The stories out of the Villages would curl your hair.

Even your short and curlies?

Can you imagine the laughs if THIS is how Golden Girls had ended?

I hope she got to experience a massive cock sometime in her life

R278 they could have done it on Empty Nest as a dramatic end for Sophia. Just a headline in a newspaper "Italian Gecko Ambushed by Alligator: Whicker Purse Recovered"

"Where's Sofia, I need some old world advice!"

Dorothy, Thumbing through Beaded Gown Quarterly: "She's walking Angela's small dog by the lake."

Blanche:. "Why, isn't that dangerous, what with all them gators roaming our there?!"

Dorothy:. "Oh, they'll be fine, Ma hasn't taken her nap today!"

[quote] I feel better about the woman’s death, seeing that she was asking for it being so close to the water and being next to a small animal, plus that the gator was visible as it approached her.

So you're saying she deserved to be a victim of her cognitive decline and die in as horrifying and painful a manner as is imaginable.

How kind of you.

And Trump is still alive. No justice in Florida.

Even a gator ain’t gonna touch that fat fuck.

Do YOU think that looks appetizing?

Don't get me started.

Can her family sue the retirement community for not having signs warning them not to stand close to the water

The family is happy to get rid of her. Now they can have all her China and doileys

From that video at R253 she moves right before the Henry emerges, did she finally spot something coming?

Trooper is still within Henry's reach when he suddenly turns his attention to Gloria

There was a longer film clip up showing the alligator making a beeline for her, heading straight across the pond. She sure wasn't paying attention.

Since according the story, Henry the alligator was a fixture in that area. Question... What do all these alligators live on? Did people in the area keep Henry fed by some means other than providing him with convenient pets to devour?

My brother-in-law's mother used to live in Tampa and fed the alligator in her backyard. Apparently a lot of these little old ladies do.

[quote] Remember that corn-fed little boy who got eaten by a crocodile at Disney? Do people not learn?

“Corn? When did I eat corn???”

[quote]Can her family sue the retirement community for not having signs warning them not to stand close to the water

JFC.

Yes, theoretically anyone can sue anyone or any entity for whatever they want. In this case, as ridiculous as the allegation is, here’s what may happen.

The plaintiff is awarded, say, $2M. Who do you think pays for that? Some anonymous, nameless and faceless corporation? No. The residents of the HOA pay for it either via an assessment or a major increase in common charges.

So because this old cunt got too close to the water and was eaten by a gator, you want everyone who lives or will live in that community to pay for it because they didn’t post a sign? What kind of sign should they have posted do you think?

“Gators ahead. Stay at least (what? 25’, 50’, 100’,?) away”?

At 10 ft Henry would have been considered a nuisance alligator and probably somebody - the HOA? - should have contacted the Game Warden to have him removed. Or at least that's what they do on Lone Star Law on Animal Planet.

This reminds me of my favorite alligator story. There are alligators all over southeast Texas. One drunk had his buddies filming him standing next to a sign on a lake: No Swimming. Alligators. He jumped in and promptly got killed by an alligator. He won the Darwin Award that year.

I would wager that there probably were signs placed throughout the retirement community.

That's exactly how Della died after her 400 lb. ass tried to go skinny dipping.

They had to bury what was left of her in a child sized coffin. I came to the funeral in a stunning red sequined ensemble by Bob Mackie. Honestly I only went because Gregg did the catering.

Davida had to be removed by security because she was convinced Della was friends with George Clooney and that he was going to show up. And yes, she was wearing The Heels. And they stunk to high heaven since she had them cleaned after The Incident.

The Brooklyn Seacow was sobbing and doing the casket dance only because he thought Della left him something in her will. The sobs became real at the reading when it was revealed that she didn't.

I also forgot to mention that Muriel showed up late to Della's funeral in sunglasses, head scarf and trench coat. She stood in the back of the room in a corner taking swigs from a flask before leaving ten minutes after she arrived.

Why do these dinosaurs still exist? My god, they don't even pay taxes. Skin them all for footwear.

Same reason you exist. Stupid inferior trailer trash breeds way more than the inverse.

I can't believe how aggressive alligators are, being freshwater reptiles. In Australia, the freshwater crocs are not the ones killing people and dogs: it's the Saltwater crocs who can also live in freshwater. When that poor little boy got taken, I first assumed it was a saltwater croc some idiot had kept as a pet and then let into the wild.

BTW, I've heard Florida people who abandon their pets often leave them to fend for themselves in the Everglades. What the hell are those people thinking?

Gator incidents seem to be on the rise these last couple of years.

I wonder if this is a reckoning.

I imagine the gator at OP saying “Wha’d I DO? Wha’d I DO? Wha’d I DO?”

Hi, it’s me, Henry!

I don't know why I found R296/R297 so funny, but I did.

Della's posts, as seen on this thread, are so identifiable, even though she no longer signs as such.

Poor Henry's last meal.

[quote]I imagine the gator at OP saying “Wha’d I DO? Wha’d I DO? Wha’d I DO?”

He dindu nuffin!!

[quote]BTW, I've heard Florida people who abandon their pets often leave them to fend for themselves in the Everglades. What the hell are those people thinking?

People dump all kinds of exotic animals all over Florida. Monkeys, pythons, what not…white trash do love an impulse buy.

People dump unwanted pets out of the car all over the place in rural areas. It's extremely common. All kinds, mostly dogs and cats. Lakes in the South are full of those cute little pet store turtles, now fully grown, healthy carriers of salmonella.

I bet she was trying to pet it. Old people are like that.

Alligators are the darlings of American wildlife preservation. They were dwindling in numbers, and were placed on the endangered list at least 50 years ago. Now, however, they are overpopulated. The season for hunting is one week in September, AND to be able to legal in hunting them, one must win a lottery! Here in Mississippi, there are huge numbers of gators in almost every river and oxbow lake. It's past time to ease the restriction on hunting them.

[quote]I bet she was trying to pet it. Old people are like that.

That's all I was trying to do to the dog.

I swear.

As a Brit I'm thankful we don't have these creatures over here. If I ever saw one I would run a mile, not try to photograph it like that drunk lady did during the pandemic.

You ain't even safe in your own crib. FL needs to wipe out all the gators. Jeesass fuck. And what an annoying fucking reporter.

Lol I kinda like that old woman at R313, reminds me of Karen McCluskey from Desperate Housewives. The gator probably has a hangover from her red wine.

Alligators be all: I got your Place For Mom now, bitch!

r313, I thought the reporter was pretty hot, actually.

R210=Socially awkward old man with the lamest jokes.

They should release ten million komodo dragons into every city in america, man. I love those things. They will eat anything. Taking big chunks. They'd spend a whole year eating Christina Metz.

The longer video was kind of sad when the old lady fell to the ground and she just accepted her fate. She was probably praying to Jesus. But you could see the thing clearly coming at her from the water, I don't see how she missed it. You could see the bubbles in the water where I assume the gator was drowning her. Creepy. And the two cops just standing at the lake were low key hilarious, like what were they gonna do really? Is Florida LE even trained to deal with gators? They're bullets wouldn't work would they? I wouldn't know, but I had to laugh when they shrugged their shoulders and walked away like "It’s in god's hands now."

^whoops, I meant 'Their' bullets wouldn't work would they? Excuse the typos oh dear!

At least she died a hero by trying to save the dog. No one gave a squeeze for her but the dog -- now that is currency.

[quote]As a Brit I'm thankful we don't have these creatures over here.

But you have steak and kidney pie which is worse

r319, where is the longer video? All the ones I've seen have stopped when Henry comes out of the water.

R319 - where did you see the entire video?

R323, the longer video is at R253. When the gator comes up on the land and tries to get the dog, she falls to the ground.

Thanks, R325.

R323, I don't think there's a publicly available video of the gator grabbing her leg and dragging her into the water and drowning her. It would be in very poor taste to show her actual death, like it was entertainment.

Henry thought his last meal was a bit short on meat but chef's kiss anyway.

This is a Murder. She Wrote episode waiting to happen. I'm sorry, gentleman, but Henry was not the killer. The deed was done by guest star Linda Gray in an alligator disguise.

Little pig-eyed Buster's party-train days are through, I'd say.

(^Oops. Missed.)

WTF would want to watch a video of any of this?

It would be educational to see how the alligator behaved as it grabbed her and pulled her into the water, so people can learn what to do, or not to do, in a similar situation. A picture paints a thousand words. Not watching it isn’t going to bring her back.

R333, we already know what works best if a gator or crocodile has already caught you. It's already explained at R246.

R334, reread what I posted. I indicated that a video of an actual attack would be many more times useful than just words.

R335, I think "poke the alligator in its eyes" is very clear. There's not a million different ways of doing it.

It's important to consider the ecological balance of an ecosystem and find solutions that are sustainable and humane.

While snakes may prey on alligators, it's important to note that alligators are a crucial part of many wetland ecosystems and serve as apex predators. Removing alligators from an ecosystem could have unintended consequences and disrupt the balance of the food chain.

Furthermore, introducing non-native snake species to an ecosystem could have devastating consequences, as these snakes may become invasive and threaten native species.

Instead of relying on a single solution like using snakes to solve alligator problems, it's important to consider a range of options and find solutions that take into account the unique characteristics of each ecosystem. This may involve implementing non-lethal methods of controlling alligator populations, such as habitat management, relocation, or education efforts to reduce human-alligator interactions.

When an alligator is euthanized do the captors sell the hide? Or sell it to an alligator skinner/butcher?

I want to see Blind Granny pulled into the water. Make it so, please.

[quote] Instead of relying on a single solution like using snakes to solve alligator problems, it's important to consider a range of options and find solutions that take into account the unique characteristics of each ecosystem.

Well, for one thing, we DEFINITELY need to make sure that every institution or public area in Florida that has ponds on its property (golf courses, old folks' homes, those huge grotesque amusement parks for the middle class, etc.), has LICENSED animal psychologist counselors on staff (and on the premises AT ALL TIMES!) to interview and guide the enraged reptilians, to ind out WHY they are so angry today in modern America, and to provide effective therapeutic advice to help these poor, disturbed creatures to channel their so destructive life habits into pursuits that are harmonious, and *productive * in today's hectic, highly pressured lifestyles. There just doesn't seem to be any other rational way to deal with this situation. Don't you think so, R337? I SURE do.

Last night on "On Patrol Live" a guy in Daytona Beach thought someone was snooping around his house. He opened the door and as he reached for the light he got hit on the knee but what he thought was a dog. He turned on the light and a 7-8 foot gator was staring at him. A few minutes later after he was loaded in the rescue squad an EMS told the officer that he got bit on his knee. It was so deep that you could see the tendons. Eventually a trapper shows up and wrangles the gator that had taken up residence under a UHaul trailer. I heard a pop and then the dude just dragged what I thought was a sedated gator out to the street. It turns out he had killed the gator. It was technically live on TV, but there is about a 20 minute delay. Reelz re-airs the episodes on Friday, Saturday and Sundays. Due to the outrage on social media I suspect they will edit that segment.

I saw that! Yes I thought it was some type of sedation.....but the gator was dead. It was something like a taser - pop - the gator flipped over dead.

Whew! And the man said he turned on the light because he thought it was "someone" sneaking in to see his 17 year old SON!

Imagine the terror trying to sneak in to fuck your boyfriend and you get killed by a gator?!!

R338 My understanding is that they sell the parts so the granny gator is coming to a wallet near you.

Oh Cheesus Christ, that post at r341.

So glad that if alligators and crocs ever adapt to Winter environments, I'll already be long dead.

Cool

A scary thing about global warming is that the areas suitable for alligators and crocs will expand.

I know someone whose dog eats kibble made from crocodiles. Very expensive and difficult to get.

In other news 📰-

Would you do the guy in the cap 🧢 tying up the alligator?

I would.

I had a dream about Henry last night. I dreamt he ate all four of the girls in Golden Girls. It was the best dream of my life.

Fuck you, Claxton!

[quote] "Just out of curiosity, what's the best possible manner to be ripped apart?"

Anally, R12. And preferably by Raúl Esparza.

Why was the gator named Henry and how old was he?

^Certain things are MEANT to remain mysterious, my child. We can't know EVERYTHING about the universe.

[quote]While snakes may prey on alligators,

Do they really? I honestly didn't know that.

^^baby alligators not ones over a few months old!

Aah, I see now.

Probably alligator eggs, as well.

I never knew there was alligator dog kibble, but it is indeed real.

Raccoons are the most common predators of alligator eggs. Raccoons, otters, wading birds, and fish will eat small gators / hatchlings. I've heard pythons (not a native species) in Florida may try to eat small adult gators.

Alligator meat is tasty enough. Why don't we eat more of them?

Icky-ka-ka, no thank you. I don’t dine on LIZARDS, so fucking gross.

Thank you, R343.

If you eat a chicken you are pretty much eating a feathered lizard so alligator is the same as chicken.

Chickens and alligators have different diets, R362. The chicken could be on the gator's menu.

Most animals we eat are herbivores.

Eating alligator meat would be same as eating as eating the humans that that the alligator has eaten. No thanks.

There's only one reason to go to Florida: to die. All people go to Florida to die. Don't believe me? Name one living Golden Girl.

I ate gator as a kid in the 1980s, when visiting some hillbilly relatives. It was good, but it didn't occur to me that I was eating the meat of an animal that had eaten pets or even other humans. I'd like to think they had been eating swamp food and not Fluffy.

R365 Golden Girls had absolutely nothing to do with Florida as the horrid writing on that show attested.

Meat from any carnivore must be hellishly expensive. The dogs eaten at that awful yearly Chinese festival are often stolen pets. Imagine how much meat you'd have to feed a gator or croc before "harvesting" them?

[quote]They'd spend a whole year eating Christina Metz.

Just the one, dear?

Poor little boy appears to have been dumped for an alligator to destroy his body. Father killed mother and dumped son for alligators

<- It was a crime of Pashun.

R370 A certain class of black men certainly enjoys murdering their baby mamas and babies.

I've eaten alligator. It's fine but there's no reason to eat it if you have access to chicken, pork or lamb.

To R372, YES they do!! It is disgusting, and they should be executed very slowly& painfully!

"You don't hurt children, the elderly or animals" People, well most of them suck!!

They are suing over Henry!

“Well, we all have to go sometime.”

— Ann Miller commenting on an actress friend’s miscarriage.

At first I thought no way do they have a case, but then I read the maintenance staff was feeding the alligator.

[quote]Imagine making it to 85 years on this planet only to be dragged under water and ripped apart in the worst possible manner.

I'm still wondering, after all this time, what the best possible manner of being dragged under water and ripped apart is.

r378, the best possible would be if the alligator sang "A Spoonful of Sugar" while doing it.

So true

[quote]r16 Unfortunately a human body would be hard to pull into a gator cave unless the gator was one huge mofo.

Imagine coming to in an alligator’s underground lair!

That old lady and the gator will become part of the new Hermes limited edition collection.

^^ is that some entertainment for tourists somewhere??

r384 Thailand It was also shown on Ridiculousness.