Judd Apatow brutally mocks Tom Cruise

Apatow has always been weirdly sexy.

R1 negative. On the other Tom Cruise was, still not bad looking and is a super kind human being.

That's hilarious.

R1, did you play one of the horses in Equus?

Not a huge Tom Cruise fan, but that seemed unnecessarily nasty, especially if they don't really know each other.

Cruise is supposed to be weird AF, but not generally a dick to people who work with him

DGA = Directors Guild of America

Scientos are against psychiatry and antidepressants. What causes Tammy to laugh maniacally like this! Is she manic? Bipolar? Evil demons tryna get out?

Damn, that is COLD!

Kudos, Judd!

Oh, Daddy! You're so MEAN!

Tom might be crazy but he’s never been viciously mean like this guy, who seems jealous about Tom‘s comeback.

This thread is already 50% clams.

"Tom's a nice guy!" How the fuck would you know, Mabel in Chilicothe?

He’s not funny, his wife is a shrill frau and he unleashed Lens on us. F him.

Get your cunt daughter off the legitimate Broadway stage, you washed up fuck stain.

Apatow destroyed comedies. Smart sophisticated comedies fell away because of his dipshit fratboy douchebag style of comedy. Fuck him.

Truth. His Seth Rogen garbage was the death of comedy.

R10 and others, ask tom's 3 wives and Suri and the recent bitched out cussed out entire film crew of his latest Mission movies how nice he is!

Ask ole Tom "so what are wogs and degraded beings"...

HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Good stand up material but maybe not for this particular venue.

Wow, he really let it fly. He doesn't like him at ALL!

It’s wildly mean for an event which is not a roast.

I assume he’s (Apatow) just a nasty drunk.

[Quote] He then shifted to Cruise’s famous relationship with the Church of Scientology, saying, “Every time he does one of these new stunts it does feel like an ad for Scientology, it really does. I mean, is that in Dianetics? Because there’s nothing about jumping off a cliff in the Torah?

He seems to be implying that there's something about jumping off a cliff in the Torah. What riveting, exciting chapter of the Torah did I miss?

It seemed more like he was implying that there wasn't cliff jumping in the Torah so he was surprised it would be in Dianetics.

Tammy is a loon but Apatow is a hack. I’ve had sufficient.

[quote]Tom Cruise was, still not bad looking and is a super kind human being.

No, he PLAYS a super kind human being off AND OFF the screen.

But he is not kind, much less super kind. He will even cut off contact with his own children because he's in a mean, crazy cult.

I wonder why Apatow went for Cruise like that. There must be some history there.

I used to wait on Judd years and years ago. He was a regular where I worked.

I adored him. Everyone did. And, yes, R1, he was oddly sexy. Not hot because of his looks. But he exuded confidence, intelligence and was so good humored.

His wife, however, was fucking cunt.

Oh, Tom Cruise will be just fine. A little roasting might be good for him.

He sounds jealous.

Jokes making fun of appearances, like targeting Tom’s height, are bullying disguised as comedy. I don’t see the humor in it.

He’s glib

[Quote] Not a huge Tom Cruise fan, but that seemed unnecessarily nasty, especially if they don't really know each other. Cruise is supposed to be weird AF, but not generally a dick to people who work with him

Boo fucking hoo. Tom's a creep and this was nothing.

Tammy is a fucking midget. It is hilarious to make fun of his height and tiny stature. Just like how it is hilarious to make fun of Christina Metz gargantuan stature. Christina's ass could stop global warming in its tracks if her huge ass was put in orbit to block out the sun.

I don’t get it really. It’s just mean spirited but labelled “roasting” so they get away with it. Some of it was funny but it got personal real quick.

it's how moses got down from the mountain, r21.

We’re talking about someone who pulled out of the Oscars because he can’t be in the same room as “suppressive” Nicole Kidman - and were worried about someone being “too mean?” Yeah, pour guy.

And you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t around here; if you act kiss ass and pull punches you get shit, and then if you have the balls to actually “go there “ you get shit here too. You guys just don’t like Apatow and that’s fine, I don’t really do either - but anyone who has the chutzpah to call out “the guy who saved movies” deserves at least some credit - and yes it was funny.

No Scientologist should be respected by anyone. They are obnoxious psychotic fucking assholes. They are at level of JWs and no one is as horrid as the JWs.

Well, plenty of them must be members of the Academy. That's the only explanation for 'Top Gun's Oscar noms and awards. Clam City.

Y’know, I don’t think you can be mean to a guy who is worth several hundred million dollars. He’ll be fine.

Given how criminal and creepy this cult is and TC is benefiting from it. I agree with this roast.

Their beliefs are so simple as to be almost universal. It is easy to see why they attract so many morons.

That does seem unnecessarily personal and nasty.

I wonder what his beef with Cruise is or whether his general nastiness just came pouring out in the moment and needed a direction to vomit forth.

It is all about stealing money and brainwashing their brain dead adherents; just like the horrid JWs.

Doug Parent Former Scientologist Related Is Scientology a cult? It’s a wealth extraction para-military cult with 3 billion dollars, fully brainwashed adherents working 12 hour days behind locked gates, that has one singular objective, to continue the financial rape of anyone that comes near their them.

Scientology states they have the only workable technology to “free mankind”. And that this objective is of upmost importance. They state that it is up to Scientology, being used and understood, in the hands of every man woman child on this planet, if this world will ever have a chance of surviving.

If Scientology leaders were telling the truth, then Scientology would be flourishing on this planet and it would be the number 1 religion.

If Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard told the truth, and his claims were based in facts, not lies, then he would have been awarded a Nobel Peace Prize by now.

If Scientology really was the only way of “reversing the downward spiral” THEN THEY SHOULD BE GIVING SCIENTOLOGY AWAY FOR FREE IN EVERY CITY IN THIS COUNTRY. The fact they charge outrageous sums tells the whole story.

Scientology got traction in the 70’s, suffered a major schism in the 80’s, regrouped in the 90’s with a record high of just over 70,000 people who ever walked through the door (most walk out) or purchased a book.

Today the numbers of active adherents around the world is 20,000 and shrinking.

I think Tom Cruise is a sociopath or psychopath.

[bold]They don't experience 'regular' human emotions so they have to seek out danger for any emotional feeling.[/bold]

Cruise is smart because he's gotten movie studios to pay for his antics whereas regular socio/psychos do it via committing crimes, risky sex, harming animals/people.

Apatow is the one who puts the word “faggot” into all of his comedies.

Anyone stupid enough to partake in a cult is a sociopath or psychopath. This applies to most branches of religion as well. Religious peeps have always been fucked in the head.

Judd Apatow's last decent movie was in 2009. Laugh it up, hack

The fact Apatow put Seth Rogen and Jason Segal in any of his shit movies should be punishable by the worst torture known to man. Put some hot sauce on him and let Christina Metz take big chunks out of him then shit him out and bury that.

Those were super-tired jokes. Groundbreaking.

Soon it’ll be revealed why Apatow is so mad at Cruise, clearly Judd doesn’t want his resentment to be a secret anymore.

Attacking Tom for being short means that Judd is PISSED at whatever Tom did or didn’t do.

Interesting

Let Tom and the organization he essentially heads enslave people in peace!

R47 Yeah, Tom did something. Apatow got denied money for something, or Cruise interfered with a project.

[quote]Well, plenty of them must be members of the Academy. That's the only explanation for 'Top Gun's Oscar noms and awards. Clam City.

Meanwhile, back in the real world . . .

Tom has never gotten an acting Oscar. Ever.

Maverick got a few lower-level noms as a thank-you for making so much money. And providing that films could still be shown at theaters.

R42 Hey, some of us like being slapped around and called a faggot!

Hollywood is filled with self-righteous assholes. It's so funny when they try to single out of their peers to deflect any type of accountability for themselves. So smug. Not a bad message but bad messenger.

Apatow and Tarantino are the epitome of privileged smug straight white men with no self-awareness who can't write women for shit. Gays don't seem to even exist in their work. Not shocked they are worshipped by incels.

R22 I'm not sure anything would be surprising in the Dianetics.

Syosset hack. My aunt is in a ltr with Judd’s father.

Tom Cruise is a nutball, but does he deserve this? Idk.

Have met Judd. He was condescending.

I’d rather watch Bridesmaids than Top Gun so “Team Judd”

I'm not surprised by this; all comics seem to have kind of mean spirit. As for Tom, he's kind of an oddball that somehow seems to float above whatever ex-wives, disgruntled kids and entertainment peers seem to throw at him

Maud is to Judd as Ivanka is to Trump.

R13, aka Tammy, is in the house!

We love you Tammy! Thanks for making a blockbuster that isn’t derived from some over played, DC or Marvel universe!

Not to hate on Marvel or DC, but c’mon! Tom brings back the days when us Elders actually stood in line in front of a movie theater, waiting to watch an awesome action film.

He’s an OG. Weird AF, but an OG, nevertheless.

On the other Tom Cruise was, still not bad looking and is a super kind human being.

You're just fooled by his celebrity. He's one of those show business people who is 'super kind' when there is a need to appear that way. But just you cross him, and if there's no one around he wants to impress, he'll show you just how not 'super kind' he can be.

No one with as much to keep secret as Cruise has can be trusted. His whole life is a fraud. I'm sure he goes to bed every night and wakes up every morning wondering how he's going to keep his big secret from the rest of the world for yet another day, and is terrified that the day may come when the truth will be out and it will be unimpeachable. He knows that may just be the end of his career.

And Apatow is still a cunt.

[quote]It seemed more like he was implying that there wasn't cliff jumping in the Torah so he was surprised it would be in Dianetics.

Right, the punctuation in that section of the OP was off. Should have been:

"Every time he does one of these new stunts it does feel like an ad for Scientology, it really does. I mean, is that in Dianetics? Because there’s nothing about jumping off a cliff in the Torah."

Cruise is evil. He’s one of the leaders of a cult that enslaves it’s lower ranking members and teaches them to retaliate against and terrorize anyone who criticizes the cult, and Cruise is just fine with this.

I’ve always wondered how he reconciles the good guy roles he plays that are so diametrically opposed to the freakish transactional life he lives. His brain must be mush.

R60, did he murder someone? Did he rape someone?

Did he do either of those things or both, & get away with it? Because those are the only things that will permanently bury you. Well, diddling children will do the same, obviously.

[quote]Tom Cruise is a nutball, but does he deserve this? Idk.

Nominating this for the dumb DL post hall of fame.

He's literally a cult leader and an A-list celebrity worth hundreds of millions, but don't crack any jokes at his expense! He doesn't "deserve" that!!! We must protect the rich and powerful from any hint of criticism!

[quote]Did he murder someone? Did he rape someone? Did he do either of those things or both, & get away with it? Because those are the only things that will permanently bury you. Well, diddling children will do the same, obviously.

Obviously? Michael Jackson's career was far from "permanently buried" before his death, even after multiple allegations of "diddling children" and a multi-million dollar settlement of one of those charges. Likewise, Donald Trump's career has unfortunately not been buried by sexual assault charges.

R65, Apatow is still a cunt. A cunt I have met.

Idk much about Cruise being a cult leader. Thought he was more of a poster boy.

Any man who will willingly give up all contact with his child, especially because he's told that's the way it has to be by some scummy pseudo-religion, is no more trustworthy than a rabid raccoon. If his older adopted Scientology children decided today to leave the cult he'd do the same thing to them. Cruise's heart is clearly jet black. I don't believe he even knows how to love. He only knows how to portray love as he would any acting role. He's a robot. A machine with no human emotions.

Aptow sound bitter and resentful, not humorous or witty.

Then again, expecting wit from the likes of the guy who brought us The Katherine Heigl Story and the scintillating humor of Amy Schumer's Trainwreck is probably too much to ask.

And, I don't even like Tom Cruise all that much. But, geez, no one deserves that level of nastiness for no reason.

R67, you're still an idiot. Are you a clam? You sure post like one.

I don't like either one. Judd Apatow isn't funny.

[quote]Judd Apatow isn't funny.

Judd Apatow movies are the live action adaptation of Beavis and Butthead.

Mike Judge should sue.

He's not tall and a member of Scientology? Groundbreaking.

Tom Cruise is a psychotic. Judd Apatiw isn’t what he used to be but he’s still a good director. Tom can go do a purif cleanse or some shit to get rid of some Judds suppressive energy.

I do not believe anyone should use innocent children in their attempt at humor. No matter what one may think of TC his children should be off limits . Yes, he is a absent father as we all know and as his abandoned daughter is painfully aware of. It is hurtful and unnecessary not to mention distasteful and should be limits.

Thank you, Helen Lovejoy.

R75 it should be mentioned repeatedly! No real man abandons his child. I’ve never cared for him after that.

[quote] I don't like either one. Judd Apatow isn't funny.

I agree. I also find Judd to be a smug fake male feminist.

R77- I don't care about his feelings, I am think of Suri hearing that . He chose a cult over his child. I have no respect for him.

Wow, really nasty and kind of hijacking the DGA event.

I'm sure Tom is rolling his eyes upon hearing this thinking, "Damn, Jews are so fucking nasty, especially the ugly ones".

This is so random.

[quote] No matter what one may think of TC his children should be off limits .

Are you on Real Housewives? That's some Real Housewives bullshit.

Nothing about any celeb should be off limits—they chose to live in the public eye. Sometimes jokes are in poor taste, though. TC is too invested in his phony image to be transparent about why he gave up his bio daughter. Or is she his bio daughter? It seems like Katie has some pretty substantial dirt on him. I wonder if we will ever know….

R82- I can't help feeling way because I can't imagine what it must feel like to know that a murderous cult is more important to your father than his own child.