Superintendent Resigns After Bashing Family of Student Who Killed Herself

Why would a school Superintendent say such horrible things?

I swear, people are just getting worse and worse.

Sounds like the girl had a lot of issues going on. Sad situation.

No one deserves to be brutalized anywhere, let alone in their school with students cheering, no one helping, and video being shared. There is much blame and shame to be had in this situation. Fucking disgusting.

Did you miss the part where it said New Jersey, R1?

[quote] In the midst of backlash over the school’s handling of the incident, Parlapanides publicly tried to shift blame to Kuch’s familly—blaming her suicide on an “affair” he said her father had had years earlier that he claimed led her mother to kill herself, and suggesting the 14-year-old had a drug problem.

Sounds very Trumpian and MAGA to me.

An educator should know better than this.

I was just thinking I would bet a large amount of money that the superintendent voted for trump twice.

She looked like a pretty babydyke.

Sad wasteful loss, either way.

NJ is ranked No. 1 in public education, r4.

The superintendent shouldn’t have said that and it is right that he’s resigned. From the story, it appears that the school was also negligent.

But with that said, I’m not unsympathetic. As an educator in the age of social media and in the midst of a post-pandemic mental health crisis amongst young people, there’s an expectation that we’re supposed to mitigate all the problems and issues that a student brings with them into the classroom. These problems are increasingly frequent and increasingly complex. We do our best, but at the end of the day I’m only qualified - and I’m only paid - to teach, and the school can only do so much.

That area of NJ is MAGA-land. Central NJ, far enough from NYC and Philly to make commuting to either a pain.

In Iowa, you could have sent them to Ayahuasca school and had the taxpayers foot the bill.

R7 Cute babydyke? She looks just like a regular 14 year old girl.

There was a time when, if a student put hands on another student (or teacher) they were suspended, and, based on severity, possibly expelled. R9 , I just don't know what to say about your well-liked reply.

[quote]Why would a school Superintendent say such horrible things?

He panicked because he knew he'd allowed a girl to get bullied so badly that she was injured and later killed herself, so he lashed out to try to deflect blame.

Anyone who thinks this kind of thing didn't happen until "the age of social media" is a fool.

It wasn't that long ago that there were zero tolerance policies for any kind of violence (and even for drugs, which would lead to kids being expelled because they had Benadryl with them or something silly like that). Social media has NOTHING to do with schools dropping those policies. The kids who attacked this girl should have been taken out of the school immediately.

Could she have sustained CTE from the breakdown which sent her suicidal?

[quote] Why would a school Superintendent say such horrible things?

Because he's probably a right wing conservative Trump loving scumbag who thought "now this is what Donald Trump would say".

He's fat and ugly. Enough said.

[quote]NJ is ranked No. 1 in public education

Granted, but it is still New Jersey.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Fat guy was blaming the dad for being a lousy father and husband.

But even all he said was true (in case it was true) that doesn't change the fact that the girl was heavily bullied at school which is his responsability

The Superintendent was stupid to say what he did, the girl is still dead and trying to shift blame to the parents - even if there is some truth to that - is very unfortunate. But I feel there's more to the story, particularly in regards to the girl and her state prior to this incident.

The superintendent is a total fug. A lot of school or district administrators are usually snotty assholes.

R8 According to which objective, verified data set / research?

so much has been said about the girls over the years

but we have never found an answer

even then as teenagers we tried to put the pieces together...

He should have been terminated immediately. The school principal too. The police should have been called after she was attacked. The girls who attacked her should be arrested. The person who put the video on TikTok should be charged with harassment.

Tragic. She looks like a sweet, normal kid. Schools were already bad by the time I graduated, but now it sounds so much worse. Between the pressure social media puts on kids (particularly girls) and the feral elements who aren't so much parented as thrown out into society, I'm glad having kids isn't something I have to worry about.

R6, "I would bet a large amount of money that the superintendent voted for trump twice." Definitely.

The bullies were females, of course this is going to be controversial and divided.

As I always say, women don’t kill as much as men because they can drive you to kill yourself.

Mean girl behavior predates the internet. Ever heard of the novel turned movie “Carrie”?

So enough with this blame social media crap.

I am a high school teacher who's dealt with girl fights, and I cannot believe that the school didn't punish the attackers and that the superintendent issued that statement.

I’m with those who say the police should have been notified when she was (literally) beaten.

And wow…those kids bullied a girl whose mom had committed suicide. WTF is that all about? Did they smell blood, figure the girl was vulnerable & unable to protect herself, therefore an ideal target for their torture?

Jesus. So sad.

R30, SM has escalated the ability of mean girls to torture their victims.

Most of us adults have compassion…especially knowing that what seems horrible today will be forgotten in the future. Things change…and get better.

R23 She obviously had issues but if you’ve been around teenagers, high school is the world. Teenagers don’t usually work and when you’re young, time goes by so slowly.

High school felt like 10 years to me, not 4. I think when you’re 14, being an adult is sooo far away and distant and you’re only capable of living in the present.

Teenagers don’t realize there’s a world and people beyond high school. They’re ignorant. They think who are you or how you’re judged in high school is going to be for life.

I don’t think there’s one person on Datalounge whether they’re 20 or 70 who doesn’t remember the nastiest thing someone in school said to you. You never forget your bullies and probably have had an effect on your social interactions with people.

Fuck nasty horrible kids. It’s not always their parents either, it’s just them. Some people are naturally rotten and mean.

Wow. The poor girl lost consciousness on school property and they didn't call an ambulance? How do we know she didn't get a serious head injury?

I assume the father has plenty of grounds to sue both the school district and the principal personally. I would love it if some dug the skeletons of fatty's closet.

R33 I mean that’s like telephones and cell phones increased ways to torture people. Sure.

R35 I’ll bet my money because the bullies were white females and probably affluent.

Haha, r37…my thought was just the opposite.

Whose filming - one of the people attacking her?

I actually want to hear what the rationale was for attacking and beating her. Those look like dudes, not girls. What sort of dudes beat up a little girl - and she is a tiny girl.

Okay, I'l Oh Dear myself.

"Who's" not "whose"

That video is gross. It looked like girls with her male friend trying to protect her. Boys bully too though. The older I get the more I hate teenagers. Fucking sociopaths.

Yes, r32. That's exactly what they did. They hate people they see as "weak" in any way.

This is a hate crime. Those girls weren't white.

The girls looks just like some actress I can't recall.

In the early days of social media, my niece was bullied relentlessly in middle school. There was a My Space page called “I Hate Sarah” that was dedicated towards destroying her. Her parents complained to the school and parents of the girls who were the ringleaders. The other parents did nothing about it and the school’s position was that it was happening outside of school so it wasn’t their problem. I offered to have her come live with me and go to a private school in NYC. My brother ended up selling their home and moving so she could transfer to another school. Kind of a fucking extreme move when the school and other parents wouldn’t step up to shut down the bullying.

My niece was suicidal and developed an eating disorder but fortunately overcame both with therapy and a lot of family support. In her new school she went on to become senior class president. She is 31 now and happy, mentally and physically stable, but only has one close female friend. She also has no social media presence.

Teen and preteen girls can be vicious creatures. This story hurts my heart and I am a wizened old grump.

The superintendent was wholly unqualified. I'll bet he didn't resign voluntarily. Maga in action: deny and deflect. Other kids came forward to corroborate that nothing is done about bullying and assaults. I think Gov Murphy should start an investigation into the administration of this district. The fish stinks from the head.

R29 Or because usually they aren't violent psychopaths like men are

[quote]The other parents did nothing about it and the school’s position was that it was happening outside of school so it wasn’t their problem.

Too bad you weren't more experienced with social media back then nor realized the power of past poor behavior to haunt people.

You could have made sure that all the ringleaders had their behavior haunt them through their college and job applications for their entire lives with screen shots and archived activity.

I hope the father in this situation makes sure that the behavior of the people that brutalized his daughter have to live with that legacy for the rest of their lives and need to explain to every job and every potential romantic partner why they're associated with bullying a teenage girl to death.

R45, you and your brother did the right thing. If a child is being bullied, get them out of the school if you can. They're not going to gain anything by suffering through bullying, and it can have long-term consequences. It sounds extreme but you can't rely on the school to do anything about it.

R47 You say that in a thread of females violently beating up another female and getting away with it.

Female violence is under reported.

[quote] Boys bully too though.

And their victims can be girls. I wish this was talked about more.

It happened to me. I had several bullies throughout school, but the final and most callous one was the only boy, in high school grad year. And he wasn’t even the stereotype in terms of looks or personality—he had floppy girlish hair, a pretty effeminate face, arty interests, what I now think looking back were obvious bisexual tendencies. Before we knew each other well, I had a quiet shy hopeless and passive comphet crush on him, and despite me keeping it a total secret I suspect someone he intuited that such a weird geek statusless girl had feelings, and he had to make sure he kept the social order intact and no one drew a social line between us (a private word and a gentle knockback would have sufficed, but no). He used psychological tactics, too, ‘Mean Girls’ style—push-pull mock flirtation, public humiliations, rumour-spreading, everything. So it’s not just women who do this.

R50 Yes, I do. Just because these bullies turned out to be girls, you think that women are equally violent as men? Are you touched in the head?

R5...South Jersey is very trumpian...especially the shore area, where this took place.

R53 I didn’t say that.

But you’re right. Women are not violent and they’re not bullies, they are only capable of being victims.

These females shouldn’t be punished. It’s probably their fathers fault or patriarchal society.

Jersey shore = Magats (for the most part)..

R44...Peggy Lipton?

He actually resigned because he just couldn't stand the fact that no one could spell his name.

Obviously the girl has issues but the superintendent, not skilled on public relations, blamed the girl, with is terrible optics for a school

Wow, I just realized that it was the flipping Daily Mail who put the questions to the superintendent IN AN E-MAIL.

First, it wasn't a phone or in-person interview where he might have gotten flustered and nervous and spewed this defensive garbage. No, this overpaid fat fuck had the time to think about what he was writing and compose a thoughtful response before he hit send or just ignore the questions altogether. You should see the excerpts. The level of writing I'd expect from a high school student. Check out the DM article linked above.

Second, why is the DM doing the job of a local/New Jersey newspaper that should have been asking the tough questions about how students are treated at their own community schools? WTF?!

It is indeed a very Trumpy area, very blue collar.

If this had happened in one of the posh NYC burbs like Montclair or Short Hills then entire squads of psychiatrists would have been called to the scene, the NYT would run stories for weeks and Michelle Goldberg and Ross Douthat would write at least three op-eds on the topic.

Here's the scum.

R55 You braindead moron, I never said women can't be bullies are be violent. I was just replying to your beyond idiotic statement that "As I always say, women don’t kill as much as men because they can drive you to kill yourself."

It's because they're not white r60.

‘A relative named the students who planned the attack on Adriana Kuch. The attackers are Ayona Lanzetti (White), Keyona Brinson (Black) and Amira Mosley (Black). The fourth attacker Jasmine Puga (Hispanic) has been confirmed through social media.’

We are the World.

R3 That is absolutely true. Women are behind a lot of suicides.

These girls should kill themselves too.

I'm glad the "dear little lambs", who are bullies (causing death) and criminals (shootings, beatings, etc.), are now being named and showing their photos....for all to see. I don't care how old they arey.

*are..^

I hope this follows them the rest of their lives.

[quote]why is the DM doing the job of a local/New Jersey newspaper that should have been asking the tough questions about how students are treated at their own community schools?

It's been in the paper and on the news since it happened.

The father has been on News12NJ and NJTV (and in the NY (i.e. tri-state) local stations from the beginning with reporters contacting the school.

That's why the superintendent retired so quickly because the outrage as a result of this was so quick and loud.

[quote]Precious Roy: ‘Ayona Lanzetti is the one who filmed and is the instigator. She’s the one who kept sending it to Adriana. Her mother is named Angelina Lanzetti. She’s a recovering junkie who is 33, with an IQ to match and can’t hold down a job so she sells Scentsy….’

LOL - Precious Roy sounds like a DLer.

I'm so glad those bitches were outed at R62's link.

Fuck this about minors being protected.

The whole world should know what they did.

And watching that video footage of the attack at R39 was just unbelievable.

Not just because of the attack itself, but because the adults did absolutely nothing to punish the girls who did it. The teachers/staff just let them walk way.

That's fucking bullshit!

The whole incident is so vile. I have a feeling this is not the first time those four bullied another student.

[quote]Boys bully too though.

[quote]And their victims can be girls. I wish this was talked about more.

When I was in high school, there was a boy who bullied girls quite a bit. His targets were usually unpopular girls who were plain looking or overweight. The interesting thing about this bully boy was that he had a sister who was mentally challenged and was bullied by other kids. There was some incident where he bitched to the principal about his sister being bullied and in turn the school had the guidance counselor and one of the special ed teachers going around to classes to talk about not picking on the special ed students. It pissed off a good amount of students who were fed up with the hypocrite bully and they complained to school administration, but nothing was done about the bully's actions.

It sounds like the girl's mother also died by suicide. Also, she may have had a drug problem. She probably did have a hard home life, as well. Dad tried to blame it all on the school.

No, the superintendent should not have blabbed. He should have waited for the inevitable law suit, let the attorneys bring out all of the other factors that may have led to her death.

This is national news at this point. I was literally in tears after posting at r45 and called my niece Sarah. She said that it is not uncommon for a girl friend group to turn on one member of that friend group. I wonder if it is some innate, evolutionary thing that should be studied further.

R31, the school did punish the bullies by suspending them.

[quote]It sounds like the girl's mother also died by suicide. Also, she may have had a drug problem. She probably did have a hard home life, as well. Dad tried to blame it all on the school.

Irrelevant.

If you fire a bullet out a window and kill someone as they are attempting to kill themselves by jumping out a window, it's still manslaughter.

R9 It isn’t about “teaching.” It’s about an assault and doing nothing about it.

R79 The police should have been called immediately.

The superintendent is an asshole and an idiot, but I thought I had read that the girls who attacked her were suspended right away. But the victims’s father was upset that the school didn’t go to the police to press charges. Instead he took his daughter to the police. He was also angry that the school didn’t stop the video from circulating, which is what dad is attributing the suicide to - embarrassment over the circulating videos and aftermath, not the physical attack.

I’m not putting too much weight on the dad’s claim that his daughter “blacked out” and was simply taken to the nurse. I really can’t imagine a nurse being told that a student lost consciousness due to a head injury and not sending the kid to an emergency room. The nurse isn’t going to be as focused as the super or principal on legal or PR ramifications. She’s just going to get the kid checked out properly. It’s possible she did lose consciousness at some point, but the nurse and other school authorities might not have been made aware.

I just don’t see a 14 year-old killing herself over a video that makes her attackers look like horrible people. I think there was more going on (and, if true, the mom killling herself over the dad’s cheating and then making the mistress her stepmom doubtless didn’t help). But, again, the superintendent has proven himself to be an asshole and an idiot regardless of what the whole story is. The dad is devastated and the superintendent is trying to score points.

The bullies should be jailed for manslaughter that’ll fix their little bitch asses. They can graduate in jail. High school is horrible for. Fifty percent of the students.

Apparently there's been other instances of bullying at the school . . .

I (thankfully) don't have kids in school, but quite frequently I read stories about some incident where kids get busted to have minimum amounts of pot on them, cops are called, big deal made - all that. If schools can make that big of fuss over drugs, I'm not sure why they don't call the cops & come down hard on these kinds of gang-up fights. The video - I don't know how you stop that because every kid has a phone & uses it constantly. I get educators have a lot on their plate & I'm not blaming them (aside from the asshole Supe), but I'm not sure why 0 tolerance policies for violence can't be implemented like they are for drugs.

[quote]The superintendent is an asshole and an idiot, but I thought I had read that the girls who attacked her were suspended right away.

A relative wrote on Facebook that the girls got 10 days suspension but I don't know that it was immediate, it sounded like it only happened after the girl's father complained and showed the school the video. (I could only find the post on TikTok but can't link to it because TikTok links don't work anymore, sorry.)

Fat bastard. He shouldn't have disparaged that kid at all.

[quote] Triantafillos Parlapanides

School superintendent?

Why wasn’t he behind the grill at his diner making pizza burgers?

Leave it to DL to make this a Trump Maga issue. I’m not sure the girls were all white anyway but that’s not the point. This happens in schools in red states and in blue states.

Think about if this happened in your workplace. A group of four adults jumped and beat an individual unconscious. Police would have been called immediately. Where were the adults in this school? Obviously the superintendent wasn’t on site but why didn’t the principal act?