My New Ukrainian Family

RIP, OP.

What a wonderful, loving act, OP. I wish you and your new family the best!

As long as they get a long with the Siberian Husky

A hot blooded sexy passionate Ukrainian stud, sure I'll host him for two years or even longer, I'll keep safe and out of harm's way...

Um, okay.

Seems like a sincere but reckless gesture. Good luck, OP. Truly.

What kind of kickback are you gettin?

Hope you are prepared for their homophobia.

OP here:

My new family arrived almost three weeks ago and have been AMAZING house guests while my modest townhouse has been being renovated for them. They should be able to move in in about 3-4 days.

It's been a great experience so far, but not always easy. The US is SO DIFFERENT from Ukraine and Croatia, but they're doing an amazing job learning and adapting! Dad and Mom just want to find meaningful employment in the fields for which they are (overly) qualified and have full-time employment for which they will be fairly compensated. I just got a lesson in how, even the most seemingly-benevolent people will try to screw over recent immigrants by paying slave wages with no benefits or a guaranteed schedule. Even Ukrainians are trying to cheat the father out of a living wage, even though he can cook circles around the Head Chef. Son (5 years old) will be starting Kindergarten in the next few days and is already learning English on his own through osmosis; also, he is a brilliant child who invents his own games and is more of an adult than many actual adults I've had to deal with.

We've navigated the US system/process very well so far and the government employees at Social Security, SNAP, etc. have been BEYOND amazingly helpful. I told them that I was so scared that I would encounter "Patty and Selma" - they laughed and said "Yeah, I get that a lot!".

To be honest, I feel more alive and validated than I have been in years. I guess I just always wanted a family to love and support, and now I've hit the JACKPOT of kids and grandkids.

Over and OUT!

Lol

... keep us posted, OP

[quote] They will be living with me thanks to a great program put into place by President Biden.

Has he asked you to adopt some transvestites as well?

[quote] I am not seeking any accolades; I just want to do the "Right Thing"

When you say 'Right Thing' do you really mean Virtue-Signaller Thing?

Do they all need expensive dental work and braces to eat your lovely food you're preparing morning, noon and night?

So Op is harboring a Ukrainian deserter? Putin would thank you.

I was wondering if he has a medical exemption since I know that Zelensky has banned men from leaving.

I think men who have three or more kids under 18 are exempt. Also, single fathers.

Sincerely, good for you. So much psycho selfish behavior in the world these days a few good deeds are welcome news.

What a leap of faith. Glad it is working out! 🕊️ You are wonderful to give so much to others in crisis.

So, all this has happened over six weeks?

So what's the medical exemption, OP? He's not a single parent and it sounds like they only have one kid. And it sounds like he's a chef which is a high pressure environment....

WOW! So much support and ugliness/hate within a few minutes. Well, this *IS* DataLounge . . .

R13 - Father of a five-year-old child who doesn't want his son to be kidnapped or raped. FUCK YOU!!!

R12 - All my friend requested before he asked me for support was a roof, two beds, and HEAT. FUCK YOU!!!

R11 - I don't understand what you're talking about. Please provide a translation from Russian to English before you post again. P.S. FUCK YOU!!!

R20 You're housing a scammer who is a draft dodger. You could house the mother and kid, she would have no problem looking after one kid. They are using you to get an in into the U.S.

Who wouldn't want to die for NATO.

R22 NATO isn't fighting this war, dumbfuck vatnik. Yes, some countries who are in NATO are providing money and weapons to Ukraine but ultimately Ukraine are on their own fighting this. (It's a good argument to join NATO if you can, actually because this war would have long, long been over if Ukraine were a member of NATO.)

OP, will you seduce the hot Ukrainian dad? Homewrecker.

He looks like a cowardly lickspittle in the video. Not surprised if he has lied about his eligibility as a refugee. OP may as well house an illegal Mexican immigrant but ofc he won't.

[quote] Has he asked you to adopt some transvestites as well?

Go clean your guns, Matt-fatso.

I still can't decide whether this is a troll thread or not -- OP does type rather manic -- but good on OP if it's real. I have often wanted to volunteer to help refugees in order to fill the hole that's there due to childlessness. I won't have any more pets because the death of the last one broke me so much. I might start volunteering once/if the cancer goes away and my job situation improves.

[quote] I have often wanted to volunteer to help refugees in order to fill the hole that's there due to childlessness.

But the contract says you have to return your 'hole-fillers" after two years.

Maybe they'll teach you how to preserve lard in salt.

R27 Yeah, I was shocked and pretty suspicious straight away when OP posted a video of the man he's allegedly hosting. That's doxxing! Then the manic typing... I'll admit that kind of swayed me a bit the other way because manic people can be overly positive and in denial. But who knows... Can't decide right now.

[quote] "I think men who have three or more kids under 18 are exempt. "

I'd rather to to war. Seriously. Fuck that.

R27 and R30 - Think/believe whatever you will. Three years ago, I connected with a good/kind human who was doing everything he could to support his wife and son; he has an amazing talent and work ethic - just wanting the best life for his family. Then this FUCKING WAR came along and displaced him and family from Ukraine. He is the one who took a chance asking me to sponsor him; we're close/honest friends for 2+ years and he was getting constantly scammed by people in the US who wanted HIM to pay THEM to relocate here.

Here is the REAL DEAL with me: when I was a young man in my late teens/early twenties my biological family did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help me succeed, short of "thoughts and prayers". It was only through older and considerate people I encountered and with whom I formed relationships that I found true empathy and kindness with no expectations of "quid pro quo" - they were just as lonely and needy as I was, in their own way. Now I have the opportunity to repay all these kindnesses FORWARD to the next generation who can benefit from the helping hand who was in their shoes (not to the same degree!) 40 years ago.

Long-story-short: Pay all the good stuff that's been given to you over the years FORWARD to the next generation. It will be the best investment you ever make.

[quote] "I'd rather to to war."

*I'd rather go to war.

r30 On the other hand, it would be weird for an American to stumble on a random bit of news on a Croatian news site. So I'm inclined to believe him for now. Hopefully everything works out for all involved, war is absolute hell.

And for anyone accusing him of being a draft dodger... I watched the video since I understand the language, and apparently he had already been living and working in Croatia for four years before the war started. Zelensky's order didn't compel expats to return to Ukraine and fight -- since that's obviously not enforceable -- it just said Ukrainian men can't leave the country without a special permission.

Oh, and his Croatian is amazing, hopefully it isn't going to waste in the States.

R32 You still sound manic. Enjoy your healthy male draft dodger.

[quote] he has an amazing talent

Doing what, R32?

R34 So why isn't he Croatian and not Ukrainian? It's still sounding like this man has scammed OP, lied to get into the U.S.

I hope it all goes well but do they give you a support system if any problems arise?

r38 You need to have a permanent residence in Croatia for five years to be granted citizenship. Judging by OP's comments, he wanted to swap it for the US even before the war, but then his wife and a small child back in Kyiv found themselves in the middle of an invasion, and I guess his plans had to be accelerated.

In other words, while his wife and the kid are refugees, he's technically an economic migrant.

OP, here’s some wisdom.

What you’re doing is *awesome*, I do other types of serious service work. What I’ve learned is that there is a honeymoon period the first 6 - 12 months — then reality sets in. And when reality hits you, you will realize that you need to spend much MORE time on self-care, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual . If you fail to truly take care of yourself, then you won’t be your best self for the people who I can tell you genuinely care about. You are basically doing a type of trauma-care, so it would serve you well to start learning as much as you can about trauma — you will grow even more from what you learn. I recommend taking Dr Gabor Maté’s Short Self-led Study. You will learn a ton, it’s worth every penny, I think it’s maybe $300 which is a bargain for what I learned. And again, it will help you serve this family to your fullest.

Best wishes to you, it’s ok if it gets hard sometimes — that doesn’t mean it’s not still worth it. It’s ok when you need to find a place to bitch, as long as you can get your spirit refilled, right? You want positive people around you, but also people who will ground you and tell you things you don’t want to hear too. You are going to grow, grow, grow, because you’re now living with a real sense of purpose — giving a family a shot at LIFE. That’s a beautiful mission!

And to you assholes labeling this man a draft dodger, would you want to face Putin’s war machine, hmmm? Especially if you had a little 5 year old? Would you be running toward the front lines, without any fears as to who will take care of your baby when you’re killed? How quick we are to judge. Shame on all of you for judging him, and I’ve no doubt that you’re likely hypocrites who would do the same damn thing. I can’t judge him, sorry mother fuckers.

OP, think about writing book documenting this experience. It could inspire others to do the same. Just be sure you take good care of you through this journey you’re on, talk therapy might be helpful too. I had a person I could unload all my *insane* service stories with because I couldn’t share them with regular people. You want to hear about the incarcerated person who wrote me an 8-page sex letter, this person killed a parent, and I teach them weekly?!? Nope, not convo topics at Starbucks lolol. I needed my therapists support in the beginning of the journey.

Peace & love to you OP.

R41 What trauma? This man is Croatian, at least for a number of years. LOL.

R40 - BINGO!!! And now we are all learning day-by-day to navigate the US bureaucratic requirements. Both dad and mom want DESPERATELY to work and become self-sufficient and "The System" here has been very kind, so far. Going to the Health Department tomorrow.

R43 You're still typing pretty manic.

[quote] OP, think about writing book documenting this experience

Yes, and get a TV crew to document it all because armchair SJWs love watching TV shows about other people's noble and sentimental stories of struggle, trauma and tragedy etc, etc.

r44 OP is probably just excited and passionate about helping this family in need. You'd be surprised how alive and filled with purpose something like that can make you feel.

R46 Nope, it's a red flag for me. Normal people would be level-headed about this.

Old Hippy @ R41 - Thanks for the counsel and wisdom. Will definitely check out the resources you recommend - very "spot on" observations on your part (to the point of being F***ing SCARY!).

I'm not doing this alone - my husband has been amazingly supportive. He was skeptical at first, but has absolutely fallen in love with this family over the last 20 days - they are GIVERS, not TAKERS, and feel the need to repay us for EVERYTHING, either by (trying) to give us money, or by cooking/cleaning/yard work/etc. - it's actually embarrassing for us because they WILL NOT accept any sort of charity. We've laughed and cried together, but the 5-year-old is so positive, bright, intelligent, and funny that he keeps us "real".

Again, thanks for your thoughts, advice, and analysis. It's like you've been here with us over the last 3 weeks!

R48 - Manic as fuck. Big red flag.

R46 = REPUBLICAN. FUCK YOU!!! Go look at your 401(k) and give the rest of us a break.

R50 Oh dear, did you in your manic high quote the wrong person?

r47 He might get carried away writing about it, this is obviously super important to him since he mentioned he had a tough time growing up. I doubt the family objects to being seen as a project for OP, the end result will be the same -- their life will have improved and the kid will hopefully have lots of opportunities to thrive, which is all that matters at the end of the day.

Wishing you, your husband and new Ukrainian family much success and the best life has to offer, OP.

Brave Ukrainian Sir Robin

Bill Dauterive? Is that you?

I'm curious, has the whole gay thing ever come up, OP? Did you tell him well in advance you were married to a man?

I know Zelensky is currently considering a petition regarding same-sex civil unions (or at least registered partnerships), but the culture there is still very much different when it comes to homosexuality. Especially outside the large cities.

[quote]We've laughed and cried together

Jesus.

Just wait till it turns and they go full Ukranian cunt on you.

[quote] there is a honeymoon period the first 6 - 12 months — then reality sets in.

The Ukrainians’ reality with manic OP after the honeymoon:

[quote]I'm curious, has the whole gay thing ever come up, OP? Did you tell him well in advance you were married to a man?

R56 - Good question! Before I agreed to sponsor him and his family I told him that we needed to have a serious talk. I told him I was gay, if he had any problem with that he would need to find someone else to help him, and that I was deadly serious.

He admitted that until he traveled from Ukraine to Western European countries he was uncomfortable with gays, but has since opened his mind and no longer cares. His best friend in Croatia is gay and lives with his husband/significant other. His family and the gay Croatian couple spent a lot of time together hiking, going out to events and parks, etc.

Since he’s been here the issue hasn’t been discussed and everyone is comfortable/easy with each other. My husband ADORES the child who is well-mannered and relatively self-controlled for a 5 year old.

[quote] I told him I was gay

Ya vpevnenyy, shcho vony duzhe radi, shcho ty shchaslyvyy.

I really do wonder what possesses people to make up threads like this?

[quote] I really do wonder what possesses people to make up threads like this?

Vainglory possesses people.

OP Is smart -- he wants to brag to people about having created a long thread on DL, tossed around some ideas in his manic head, and came up with this one. This is far better than the average troll. The giveaway, however, are his unpleasant off the charts response to negative threads (which this post should generate as well). Someone who truly is kind enough to do what OP says he us doing is not someone who would fly off the handle like Liza Minelli told there's no liquor left in the house at any hint of negativity the way OP does.

Manic Virtue-Signalling possesses people to make up threads like this.

r63 Or maybe he comes to DL to let his cunt out, so he can be kind in his everyday life. Let's be real, this place is a release valve for many of us. Most of the shit I write here I wouldn't say in real life, thanks to anonymity.

[quote] he was uncomfortable with gays, but has since opened his mind and no longer cares.

He’s probably opened a lot more than that! A horny bottom like you, OP, must feel a lot better than a sleeve of stinkfish.

I watch lots of combat footage from Ukraine and they say pidor (faggot) whenever they smoke a Russkie. Obviously the second meaning of that word just means asshole. It's the same in my language and it bugs me when I hear breeders around me use so lightly this word I was taunted with growing up. Kinda wish we cancelled that second meaning, just like you -- mostly successfully -- have done in English.

I was so touched by OP's act of generosity and brotherhood that I reached out and made all the necessary arrangements. My new Ukrainian friend and young ward is arriving tomorrow. I'll be tutoring him this spring and he'll start at my Alma Mater Brown next August. He's an artist so can take courses at RISD, too.

By next year, OP will be divorced from his husband and sharing up with the big-dicked Ukrainian stud.

Sorry, shacking

I suspect the harried husband will get the worst part of this international adoption.

OP here. This morning we visited the local Health Department to get the son his vaccinations needed for school attendance. It got a little tense for about 10-15 minutes because we went thinking that he only needed a Hep A vaccine but were told that he also needed booster shots for Polio, Tetanus, and MMR.

Mom went quasi-bananas, not because she’s an Antivaxer, but because she didn’t have time to process the 411 and felt like she was being forced to inoculate her child by the unknown “Them”. Dad and I had already settled the vaccination issue last week (he just didn’t want his kid receiving unnecessary shots) by reaching the understanding that if they are to live in the US, the boy needs to be in school and he must have the required inoculations; no inoculations, no school; no school, they need to make other living arrangements.

Upshot was that Dad said “give him the shots”, Mom got pissed and walked out; Son got the shots and is FINE and will start kindergarten on Thursday. BTW, Mom is STILL pissed at Dad . . .

Don't forget Measles. It's coming back.

Thanks, R73! Measles is the first “M” in MMR - Measles, Mumps, Rubella. He got the booster today!

OP, you dox'd this family in your first post. At least the dad. I think that was a misstep. Maybe you should be revealing so much from here on out.

It's a niche little forum, it's fine. There's like thirty of us here, in total.

And OP didn't really doxx him because the guy appeared on public television already. It's not like he's in witness protection or anything.

This thread amuses me because it's the only one I've seen that casts a favorable light on undermining of the Ukraine war effort.

R76 It's a shitty thing to do. Anyone knows how cunty DL is and this opens the OP's guests to being criticized. I would not like to come across a public forum thread where people were discussing my personal business and trash talking about me.

"Dad and Mom just want to find meaningful employment in the fields for which they are (overly) qualified and have full-time employment for which they will be fairly compensated."

Is that all they want? lmao

Why couldn't the wife and kid go to Croatia which is a safe country? ;-)

Op, if you aren't getting some of that hot, baby making, cum from daddy, then I see no point in taking an able bodied man away from the war front.

OP - it's true you didn't spell out his name in this thread on Data Lounge buy you linked to his Interview so anyone can know his name. But now you are telling personal details about his wife and son. That's doxing. His interview wasn't an invitation for his family private information to be revealed.

You have arguments that this is a nasty little backwater website. But you are still doxing him.

I think you should stop revealing info. And also request moderators to remove this thread.

Good luck to you and to these refugees or immigrants.

The dad is cute twink.

I want to know how OP met this father, who was away from his wife and kid in Croatia. You two just magically became pen pals? Something isn't added up. Op, falling over himself to help this family, and even thinking for a second that he can consider this man and his wife as his children, and their child his grandson, is absolutely insane. They aren't your family and probably don't see you as such in any way shape or form.

So, cut the shit Op, you and daddy hooked up or had some type of sexual connection before his desperate escape to the US. The wife better watch out around staircases because OP sounds ready to orchestrate a convenient accident.

[quote]R48 We've laughed and cried together, but the 5-year-old is so positive, bright, intelligent, and funny that he keeps us "real".

You're doing a good thing but...Mary!

R84, the whole thing is an EST.

[quote]Why couldn't the wife and kid go to Croatia

This is an excellent question.

As gung ho as Joe is for this war I wonder if Zelensky would have much trouble getting "the guest" extradited.

Op, good for you!

I've worked with Afghan, Iraqi, and Syrian refugees (helped with services; they didn't live with me)--and the experience has been wonderful. They are humble, industrious. and grateful. They will take whatever job they can at the moment (Amazon, Uber, and Walmart are popular as they pay relatively well). They also quickly move up because many are actually professionals in their home countries--lawyers, doctors, accountants.

Op. are you gay? How do they feel about that?

R82 - Thanks for presenting your keen and accurate perceptions/opinions. However, to the extent that 90% of the people who have read and responded to this thread believe it is an EST situation and/or completely fabricated, I'm not too concerned about the "doxing factor". I will, however, temper/filter any future posts to ensure that little to no personal info is shared.

OP, why don’t you start tempering/filtering the manic quotes first? Everything is much more believable if it sounds less like a rant my alcoholic mother would engage in.

OP you're very lucky that no-one has posted his name in the the thread because DL comes up in Google searches. So if someone put his name in Google, this thread would come up and I'm sure it would not make your guests happy.

[quote] your guests happy.

The guests' happiness or unhappiness is of no account compared to the OP's vainglorious virtue-signalling.

[quote] OP, why don’t you start tempering/filtering the manic quotes first? Everything is much more believable if it sounds less like a rant my alcoholic mother would engage in.

[quote] The guests' happiness or unhappiness is of no account compared to the OP's vainglorious virtue-signalling.

I rest my case.

[quote] OP you're very lucky that no-one has posted his name in the the thread because DL comes up in Google searches. So if someone put his name in Google, this thread would come up and I'm sure it would not make your guests happy.

To the self-righteous, finger-wagging Karen @ R93: Please dry up and blow away. That is all.

What's happening now?

[quote] What's happening now?

Op came home to find all his furniture gone

OP is too busy at the police station to inform Datalounge of his virtue-signalling achievements.

[quote] WOW! So much support and ugliness/hate within a few minutes. Well, this *IS* DataLounge . . .

Which means most of the DL isn't taking this post seriously at all.

If you want a deep discussion, go to a site that provides that. We'll be over here calling this an EST and asking for verificatia of sizemeat.

[quote] If you want a deep discussion

The OP should have presented a credible scenario. Americans just can't buy foreigners over a week.

The OP says—

[quote] I am sharing this simply to encourage others to think about the attacked, oppressed, and victimized in other countries and on the other side of the globe (as well as within our own borders),

I think the OP should pause between 'attacked' and 'oppressed' and 'victimized' when making this speech at the award ceremony.

I suspect Ukranian Chef and OP's husband will run off together. OP and the Ukrainian wife left behind will then be featured in a Daily Mail story about good deeds gone wrong.

[quote] good deeds gone wrong.

Foolish deeds gone as expected.

Do the two eldest boys look like this?

[quote] They will be living with me thanks to a great program put into place by President Biden.

Has the President visited yet for his Photo-OP?