Let's be Law and Order SVU

I'm the delusional viewers who think it's a fucking documentary.

I'm detective Olivia Benson's butch swag

I'm the kidnapped Latina child with a speech impediment.

Oh-li-bee-a.

I'm the body count at Hudson University, which is approaching third world war zone levels.

I’m the idiotic plot twist 45 minutes in.

I'm the ligature strangulation marks found in every episode.

I'm detective Tutuola's lisp

I'm the low-cut tops and skin tight jeans worn by female sex crimes cops.

I’m the 43rd season, just as compelling and riveting as the 27th.

I'm the attempts at pairing Olivia up with male love interests. I fail because she has no chemistry with any of them

I'm the same actor playing a different character every 2 season, hoping the audience forget, heck I don't even care

I'm the obligatory scene where a commonplace piece of technology that's been around for many years has to be explained so the old Middle American audience can understand what's going on. Ice T is the stand-in for Middle America's bafflement at tech that most people have been using for years now.

"So this is a social media website? And people post their pictures on here - NAKED pictures - so they can prostitute themselves on the internet? And then they meet other people to have sex with, all because of this social media website? That's CRAZY!"

I'm the 1 1/2 minutes of dialogue you miss because you are trying to identify EXACTLY where in Manhattan this scene was filmed by looking VERY closely at buildings and landmarks in the background, and trying to read the street signs. You have to scroll back to catch the dialogue you missed.

The rape kit which they did

I'm the star witness who waa murdered the night before I had to testify

I'm the people being questioned who never stop working to talk to the detectives

I'm Noah.

We're the couple strolling through Central Park who happen upon the mutilated corpse of a murder victim. Our only reaction is an expression of bewilderment, rather than shitting our pants and screaming at the top of our lungs.

I am Christopher Meloni's ass and I should get my own credit because you know I am the star of the show.

I'm Richard Belzer, ranting

I'm Mariska, pinging off the charts

I’m the famous guest stars name in the opening credits you know is going to be the villain.

I am Dann Florek as Captain Cragen - I never miss an opportunity to Ham IT Up!!

I'm the rote recitation of the significance of a broken hyoid.

Where R6 goes, I follow. Always.

I'm Olibeeia and I've been kidnapped and tortured multiple times.

I'm Ice-T's gay son. The writers/producers seem to have forgotten me when they made Olivia's son "living his truth."

I also lusted after Daddy's pistol for years.

OP, unless I'm a washed up A lister.

I'm the bizarre decision to pair up Hargitay's character with Meloni's.

What in slash fiction hell?

I am the SVU Datalounge thread that seems to run monthly.

I'm the crusty, fat male detective wondering why there are never any old, fat female detectives,

I’m Olivia’s sexual magnetism. I just reversed the spin of the earth’s core.

I'm the Emmy-winning episode that George Santos wrote, directed, and starred in. Predictably, the Hollywood elites scrubbed the internet of my existence. But I did exist. I did!

This is rumored to be the only surviving screencap:

I'm the chemistry that they have been trying to build between Benson male costars. I'm lost. Nobody will ever find me

I am Noah. I am supposed to be 8ish but I already know I want to bury my face in Uncle Elliott's big hairy ass.

That George Santos shit that one of our many Aspies is spamming every thread with is not funny in the slightest.

I'm special guest star and future EGOT recipient. I stole every scene I was in.

I'm Ellen Burstyn, destroying my life-long acting legacy at the age of 90 to play Stabler's mom.

I am Ellen Burstyn telling R37 bitch I got paid!!

I'm Adam Beach. WEHT me, I was hot

I'm Adam Beach's inability to act (in response to R39's question.)

R37. Actual, I think she gave a beautiful perfect in one of their best episodes—I was pleased when she got the Emmy for it.

[quote]I'm the first suspect who's always just a red herring.

...as in every Law & Order, original or spin-off.

I'm ripped from the headlines.

I'm Dr. Huang. I state the very obvious but make it sound like some profound diagnosis about the sexual deviant's inner workings and complex psyche...

R41 here performance not “perfect “

R19 and R34 already took my answer, but because I'm Meloni's thicc and juicy, please-sit-on-my-face-able ass, I deserve another mention.

R13. That’s not hard for me. SVU films on my block pretty much ever other week. Their location team is fairly nice, unlike The Blacklist team which seems to film alternate weeks on my block…that show has assholes on crew.

I’m Olivia’s personal bias getting in the way from having an objective viewpoint. I may ruin the case.

I'm the word "panties", used roughly 15 times per episode.

I'm Detective Amanda Rollins' random gambling addiction revealed in Season 13.

I'm 'Tommy'--the default name given to every young boy under the age of 10.

I'm the precious, emotional phrasing required every time Olivia declares, "but he's my [italic]brother[/italic]" for three seasons.

I'm the rough, breathy whisper and watery eyes which is how we know SHIT JUST GOT PERSONAL for the 10th time today for Detective Olivia Benson.

I'm the bulging forehead vein and the shirt sleeve roll-up which is how we know SHIT JUST GOT PERSONAL for the 10th time today for Detective Elliot Stabler.

I'm "FaceUnion" and "Redchannit".

I’m Ellen Burstyn. I’m not crazy!!!

I'm Delta Iola Rue, the secret sorority of former sitcom queens who play lawyers and judges on the show. Our members get to show off their dramatic chops while keeping their SAG insurance for another year.

I’m Peter Scanavino’s 2 facial expressions - confused and constipated. We are hard to distinguish

I'm the courthouse steps and I'm getting pretty fucking tired of people bleeding all over me.

I'm the third and last sentence said by Benson when talking to a victim, which is always, always, always, in a whisper.

A whisper. Always a whisper.

It shows her extraordinary emotional depth.

I'm the many faces of Mariska that have shown up in the opening credits over the years, such as Poodle Mariska, Wise Mariska, Tough Mariska, Cat that Swallowed the Canary Mariska, Hunchback Mariska, etc.

I’m Marissa’s noticeable weight gain.

R47 -- I lived on W 22nd for 20 years. Once between 7th and 8th. Then between 8th and 9th.

I’m the morning wood I have the day after watching the SVU marathon with Chris Meloni the day before.

R64 I’m the material here to help you before coffee and eggs.

I’m the devastating face on Detective Olivia Benson and the uncertainty of whether she bout to cry or have a stroke?

I’m the multiple personality perp.

I’m the body count of Hudson University students.

I'm Danny Pino. I replaced Christopher Meloni and even if my ass isn't as big it's still extremely fuckable