Elderly people farting

It's just their souls slowly escaping before... you know.

yes, old age but menopause especially brings on farts.

Which is why we must kill the elderly to save the planet from global warming!

What about me? I’m fifty and flatulent.

Sometimes it's not always a fart.

Metabolism slows down.

r4

News alert honey OP. If your mom is 91, YOU are elderly. You tell US what it’s like.

Are you sure it’s not a queef OP? Is any cunt dust flying around?

My grandmother who was almost Victorian in her sense of manners,started letting them rip in her 80s. At 1st she was mortified,but then since she couldnt help it just ignored it.

Picture a sputtering motorboat. When oldsters fart they rev up their engines so they can walk.

It’s basically a combination of no longer being able to control it and no longer really caring about what people think of them.

As you age, your metabolism slows, so food remains in your digestive tract longer and creates more gas. Also, your stomach produces less acid causing food to digest slower and less well.

You also lose some muscle control and muscles become weaker, so the muscles that control the escape of gas become less able to do so (the same muscles also control whether you fart - pelvic floor muscles.

Why do think oldsters wear depends and pads, sometimes that escaping gas includes fecal matter.

I never passed gas in my Depends.

You would think the new flappiness of the sphincter would make it more on the silent side but instead the sound like someone walking in one wet shoe, every other step an adventure in toots.

Our guts are the bellows of hell.

I'm surprised no one has looked up to see whether this is a porn fetish.

When you were young and slept in granny/grampy's bed, did you really think the floor heater was what was keeping you warm?

No longer caring able to control it, and can’t hear it so they think they might be SBDs but they aren’t.

Are you by any chance the famous King of the Fetish Granddaddies in gay porn, "Dutch Burner," OP? Trying to drum up some business on sites?

Every conversation with my eighty-something mother is now about farting, constipation, poop texture or --if I'm lucky-- her giving me the gruesome details of the slow, painful death of a common acquaintance.

Fart for Freedom

STEALTH SCAT THREAD

Digestive enzymes, probiotics, reduce fodmap foods, get an outside trampoline

I'm in my late 40s and I think I have already developed OMF (Old Man Fart).

My farts have taken on a more pungent and sharper odour.

r23 It's called socialization and it's a bloodsport.

I'm in my 40s, and in the past couple of months, I fart when I cough or sneeze. So, it's begun. Thank goodness for working from home.

Why all the posts about old women in menopause? Like old men don't fart?

Why are farts so damn funny? When we used to visit my grandmother as kids - she used to let some real rippers off - some of which stripped the wallpaper. No-one ever discussed them. They all just pretended except us young kids.

It was horrifying. We couldn't stop laughing and we had to pretend we weren't laughing and cover it up. It's still funny 40 years later!

You are elderly, R3!!

You’re a moron OP

r30 because many claim they don't fart.

See how offended they get when you point out, why yes, yes, you do.

Refined and glamorous ladies are discreet about such matters.

r31 is a simpleton who is very easily amused.

All of R36's farts aren't farts. They're wet, sloppy sharts.

If Miss OP's mother is 91, MIss OP herself is certainly no spring chicken herself.

Why do you think they call the elderly "Old Farts" ?

I was hoping to see more videos of elderly people farting ... maybe even sharting.

I’m with r31. I don’t know why, but it is hilarious.

Just reading his story I was laughing.

Farts are funny. Yes, this IS a hill I’ll die on!

......ya don't have to be old to let explosions between the butt cheeks rip out...trust me.

After about 60 the "f" is pronounced "sh."

What's terrible about it is that old people's digestion is so slow and their diets are so bad with all the processed carbs that they're bacteria-and-yeast-and-God-knows-what factories. By the time the methane, sulphur and incipient rot grind down the pebbly, pitted sewer towards the light, it is a brew of stink that fogs out like something in a John Carpenter movie.

“LADY!!! Can’t you read the sign over there? It says no flatulence!”

You looking at me.

I do it all the time, and for some reason no one ever seems to notice.

I have often thought it would be useful to be able to insert a small tube to allow gas to escape gradually at all times. Farting is the rapid discharge of a build up of gas. If it could be released gradually, it wouldn’t be so noticeable.

Had an older female coworker that cropdusted the place every time she walked. She was man hungry too and I couldn't believe she wasn't embarrassed by her farting, she acted like it wasn't happening.

I'm almost 70, but I've never been one to raise dust in public. If I don't think I can hold it I'll politely excuse myself and go where I can let the breeze blow without embarrassment. But I eat a very healthy diet so the winds don't bother me much.

I hear this is the #1 cause of global warming.

Caitlin Jenner doesn't have to worry about farts. She has a plug at the ready for every hole she has below the waist.

My dad used to fart constant in his 60’s but that oddly stopped in his 80’s

That’s why he exploded.

Interestingly, as those who claim to eat healthy should well know, healthy eating can cause some of the most dramatic and pungent gas. Spinach, broccoli, beans, chickpeas, lentils, kale, onion, etc create the strongest farts--way worse than fast food.

R48 - sorry, but I had a small butt plug with a hole drilled through it and I thought it would let out farts gradually. Instead they came out with a loud whistle!

If I am in public, I try to hold it until I can get to a restroom (or a secluded place), but at the urinal, you have to let the gas rip in order to pee and then hope no one comes in as you uncontrollably release one blast after another. It’s like the 1812 Overture.

[Quote] Interestingly, as those who claim to eat healthy should well know, healthy eating can cause some of the most dramatic and pungent gas.

Actually, veggie-caused farts are more plentiful but don’t smell. The meat-caused ones smell horrible

You sound very genteel R50. Very classy indeed.

As a kid I never farted, & was shocked & disgusted by my sister & dad, who farted often. By my 30s I started to fart here & there & had to get over my initial aversion of doing it. I eat a lot more carbs these days, & I think that leads to excess gas (as a kid I was all about protein).

I caught giardia (say no to rimming!) about 15 yrs back & had the weirdest farts until that cleared up.

I’m not vulgar.

I say passing wind 💨

It really is true that most vegetable-based farts have very little smell, and the really gross ones come from rotting flesh on its way out the system. There are exceptions to this rule though, like if one is going through some type of opiate withdrawal, your poop seems to arrive in liquid form from a special department, it is almost orange, and reeks to holy hell as it feels like it came from the secret closet in the special department which is located in the basement, under the bowels. And that kind of shot just keeps coming, say every hour. So there are special shit/fart conditions that cause gas and bloating outing of simple aging.

[quote]it is almost orange, and reeks to holy hell

R62 Yes, this happens after binge drinking or trying to quite alcohol.

^^Yup r63. Can attest. But(t) no more!

If your gas smells bad you need to buy chlorophyll capsules and take one every day. Your gas will no longer be noxious. This is why a vegetarian diet does not usually produce stinky gas. Vegetables are full of chlorophyll.

Anyone who claims that farts aren't funny is lying. Or Queen Victoria...

I cut a fart yesterday and a doo doo came out also. Oops! I sharted.

The digestive problems of the elderly are their cross to bear, and we should pity them not condemn them.