Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Let's Be Madonna 40 Years Celebration World Tour

I'm the black armbands worn by the stans who showed up at Rogers Arena in Vancouver for what would have been opening night.

But y'know.....

by Anonymousreply 80February 13, 2023 11:24 PM

I'm the massive traffic jam in the arena's concourses caused by all the walkers and motorized scooters of Madge's rapidly aging fan base.

by Anonymousreply 1January 25, 2023 5:32 PM

I’m the impromptu rapper that gets inserted into each song, even the 80s ones.

by Anonymousreply 2January 25, 2023 5:36 PM

I’m the “Depends Concession” specifically requested at every show by Madonna.

by Anonymousreply 3January 25, 2023 10:08 PM

I'm the shifting debris in my BBL.

by Anonymousreply 4January 25, 2023 10:10 PM

I'm the Madame LatinX hip hop stars that have been shoehorned into new arrangements of old songs and who absolutely no fans know of.

by Anonymousreply 5January 25, 2023 10:11 PM

I'm the stage side pharmacist

by Anonymousreply 6January 25, 2023 10:12 PM

You gotta pull all the stops out- til they call the cops out.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 7January 25, 2023 11:56 PM

I'm the film bio nobody wanted to see that's been conveniently cancelled for the "celebration" tour...

by Anonymousreply 8January 26, 2023 12:52 AM

I’m the growing disappointment of the audience who realize they aren’t going to hear the promised hits in any discernible fashion.

by Anonymousreply 9January 26, 2023 1:23 AM

I’m waiting 3 hours for her to turn up.

by Anonymousreply 10January 26, 2023 2:05 AM

I’m her nude body gyrating on stage.

by Anonymousreply 11January 26, 2023 2:06 AM

I’m the ridiculous Kabbalah backdrops.

by Anonymousreply 12January 26, 2023 2:06 AM

I’m the poor wardrobe girl that has to sew Madame X into her latex catsuits.

by Anonymousreply 13January 26, 2023 2:12 AM

I’m Code Blue Cam busting Madonna on a narcotics offense. It’s a messy affair.

by Anonymousreply 14January 26, 2023 2:15 AM

I'm the tour programme. Every single photo of Madge is airbrushed beyond recognition.

by Anonymousreply 15January 26, 2023 5:56 PM

I’m the rap rendition of “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina”.

by Anonymousreply 16January 26, 2023 6:42 PM

R16 LOL I was gonna say the same thing but Borderline.

by Anonymousreply 17January 26, 2023 8:42 PM

I'm the arthritis

by Anonymousreply 18January 26, 2023 8:45 PM

The shinging! The shongsh! The charishma!!

by Anonymousreply 19January 26, 2023 8:51 PM

I think this concert tour is a good idea and could work if properly managed. The nostalgia is there.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 20January 26, 2023 9:09 PM

I’m “8pm” on the tickets, which really means “11:30pm”.

by Anonymousreply 21January 26, 2023 9:16 PM

I'm the new stage complete with oxygen tanks and I'm a prop but not really!

by Anonymousreply 22January 26, 2023 9:41 PM

Is she going to go through all her fake accents?

by Anonymousreply 23January 26, 2023 10:08 PM

"Break a hip!"

She's actually about to do it.

by Anonymousreply 24January 26, 2023 10:10 PM


by Anonymousreply 25January 26, 2023 10:18 PM

Is she passing out free Depends?

by Anonymousreply 26January 26, 2023 10:28 PM

"40 Years Celebration World Tour"

It's called menopause

by Anonymousreply 27January 26, 2023 10:31 PM

I'm the game of Backup Dancer Bingo, to be played by packs of Gen-X queers in the cheap seats.

The game used to be guessing which dancer she was NOT fucking, but now it's more about which of the seven dusky hunks will catch her when she breaks a hip during her "Ray of Light" twitch dancing.

by Anonymousreply 28January 26, 2023 10:32 PM

She's not going to be able to do all the vigorous dancing or singing, but this could work if properly organized

by Anonymousreply 29January 27, 2023 2:23 AM

I'm the drab, big-box stores in suburbs worldwide playing her new remixes non-stop in a sad attempt to seem cool.

by Anonymousreply 30January 27, 2023 5:13 AM

I'm the rows upon rows of her OG fans now between the ages of 55-68 Graying hair! big c-sections and pot bellies! stretchy black jeans! lacey gloves! corsets! sunglasses! beads and bangles! crosses! LOOK AT US!!!! Tonight we are going ALL OUT!!! because WE LOVE MADONNA!!!! OMG, Hoda and Kathy Lee are in the front row next to Rosie!!!

(most of us leave after a few songs because we don't want to get stuck in gridlock on the way out and tomorrow we have to get up super early to drive the grandkids to school)

by Anonymousreply 31January 27, 2023 6:08 AM

“Over the borderline..””…SHE’S A HOOD ASS BITCH!”

by Anonymousreply 32January 27, 2023 6:37 AM

R31, those fans you describe, well this is their first concert since they saw Madge back in '85 on the Virgin Tour.

by Anonymousreply 33January 27, 2023 5:26 PM

I'm the obscenely priced VIP package. My small print is on a par with Krusty the Klown.

*Locations may vary by venue, see specific date for details.

**Extent and nature of the tour subject to venue limitations.

***No artist participation included in package.

****Subject to local liquor laws

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 34January 27, 2023 5:39 PM

Is she still on the Kabbalah buzz? Her grillz phase has lasted longer than that.

by Anonymousreply 35January 27, 2023 7:20 PM

I'm the playlist, dominated by Hard Candy tracks onwards.

I'm also the delusion of Madonna, insisting she's still an innovator and her best work was made in the last 15 years.

by Anonymousreply 36January 27, 2023 7:50 PM

I'm the playlist, dominated by Hard Candy tracks onwards.

I'm also the delusion of Madonna, insisting she's still an innovator and her best work was made in the last 15 years.

by Anonymousreply 37January 27, 2023 7:51 PM

I'm the screen backdrop showing quotations from James Baldwin and animated references to Basquiat and Haring- true artists she regularly trots out her connections to, as if she was anything other than a groupie.

by Anonymousreply 38January 27, 2023 10:21 PM

I’m her talentless brood of kids, happy that mum has something to keep her busy and is making serious bank for us to spend in the future.

by Anonymousreply 39January 27, 2023 10:31 PM

I'm the backstage prayers, said not by Madge and her entourage, but by her manager and the insurance company.

by Anonymousreply 40January 28, 2023 2:43 PM

I’m the MDNA skin care products being sold in the lobby. A complete set costs more than the ticket.

by Anonymousreply 41January 28, 2023 3:06 PM

I'm Nikki and Donna waiting for the phone to ring.

by Anonymousreply 42January 29, 2023 4:52 PM

Im the wrinkles she can't hide in real life

by Anonymousreply 43January 29, 2023 5:13 PM

I’m the facial filters applied to the video feed. I occasionally cut out, revealing the horror beneath.

by Anonymousreply 44February 5, 2023 12:29 PM

I'm Candy Shop, the song M thinks everyone wants to hear yet again.

by Anonymousreply 45February 5, 2023 12:31 PM

I'm the small print on the tickets;

'Madonna may cancel or reschedule the date of this concert without any prior notice. Tickets are non-refundable'

by Anonymousreply 46February 5, 2023 12:57 PM

I better be Jenny Craig backstage, because bitch needs to lose some weight if she’s gonna pull of all these shows.

by Anonymousreply 47February 5, 2023 1:01 PM

I'm Marlene Dietrich's skeleton side-eyeing the whole affair from my modest grave.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 48February 5, 2023 1:09 PM

On the subject of Marlene, who will Madge be ripping off...sorry appropriating this tour?

The pills and bloating are peak Judy.

by Anonymousreply 49February 5, 2023 1:10 PM

I’m the wheelchair, waiting in the wings, with some stitching already coming off.

by Anonymousreply 50February 5, 2023 1:17 PM

R50 But’cha ah, Madge…ya AH in the chair!

by Anonymousreply 51February 5, 2023 1:55 PM

We're all the rappers dragged out onstage to ruin the classic songs that are now unrecognizable.

And Madonna's fanbase are not and have never been aficionados of rap music, but she still insists on having rappers.

by Anonymousreply 52February 5, 2023 2:16 PM

[quote]"40 Years Celebration World Tour"

[quote]It's called menopause

The old girl is long past menopause.

by Anonymousreply 53February 5, 2023 2:17 PM

I'm the nip slip

by Anonymousreply 54February 5, 2023 2:22 PM

I'm the lack of shame

by Anonymousreply 55February 5, 2023 2:23 PM

I'm the stan fans who accept all Madge's empty gestures as something more than just mindless shock. We are waiting with bated breath for her to drop the 'f' bomb, criticise the patriarchy and fondle herself using a crucifix.

by Anonymousreply 56February 5, 2023 2:31 PM

I'm Madonna's opening act, 42 year-old Amy Schumer, talking about her pussy and how much she loves to get drunk and fuck.

She's so hip and edgy, the kids just love her!

by Anonymousreply 57February 5, 2023 3:28 PM

I'm the ambulance on standby right outside the stage door.

by Anonymousreply 58February 5, 2023 3:28 PM

I’m the key moment in the concert when her costume bursts open and her bosoms come flying out. That might draw a crowd, right?

by Anonymousreply 59February 5, 2023 4:25 PM

I’m Lourdes wearing a shredded denim ball gown and getting denied access to the backstage.

by Anonymousreply 60February 5, 2023 4:29 PM

I'm the mixed race dancer experiencing nightly sexual harassment and who will end up giving her my dick just to get it over with

by Anonymousreply 61February 5, 2023 4:40 PM

I’m Reba not attending.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 62February 5, 2023 4:44 PM

I can't name a single Reba McIntyre song. She's not a thing with gays outside of the Deep South and Southwest.

by Anonymousreply 63February 5, 2023 5:17 PM

R63 not true. Her tv show was a big hit in urban areas on the WB and broadened her fan base

by Anonymousreply 64February 5, 2023 5:47 PM

r64 not in any Northern urban areas I know of. I can tell you that no queen in NYC is into Reba.

by Anonymousreply 65February 5, 2023 5:58 PM

I'm the hot arena. I have a perfectly functional AC system to keep you comfortable but the low-rent Maria Callas cunt on stage insists that it be turned off "for her voice."

As if you'd call that "singing".

by Anonymousreply 66February 5, 2023 6:18 PM

I’m the ice bath and cortisone injections for after the show.

by Anonymousreply 67February 5, 2023 6:23 PM

I'm the obligatory reference to James Baldwin. Madonna will scream to her audience: "You need to read James Baldwin!! Have you heard of James Baldwin?? I LOVE James Baldwin and know ALL his work!!"

I'm also the constant comparisons that Madonna makes between herself and Baldwin, because, as you know, a rich, privileged white woman who took off her clothes for sales is on the same level as a Black man who lived through and wrote about the Civil Rights era...

by Anonymousreply 68February 5, 2023 7:15 PM

I'm James Baldwin in heaven hoping this white bitch won't be speaking my name during her tour. Every time she says my name is disrupts me from my heavenly peace.

by Anonymousreply 69February 5, 2023 7:16 PM

R65 false, all the big city gays love Reba more than Madonna

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 70February 5, 2023 7:23 PM


Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 71February 5, 2023 7:28 PM


Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 72February 5, 2023 7:30 PM

I'm the screen projection that will eventually appear showing a bruised, bloody Madonna because she thinks I'm so cool and dark that I add a gravitas to lyrics like, "I like to singy singy singy, like a bird on a wingy wingy wingy".

by Anonymousreply 73February 5, 2023 7:35 PM

[quote]I'm Madonna's opening act, 42 year-old Amy Schumer...

Madonna's opening act is going to be Bob the Drag Queen.

by Anonymousreply 74February 5, 2023 8:23 PM

I’m the toilet seat that’s praying she doesn’t have to take a dump.

by Anonymousreply 75February 5, 2023 9:04 PM

I have a feeling Bob will put on a blonde wig and cone bra and step in for her when her hips give out. Or her grillz fall off… or her girdles cut off her circulation and she passes out…

by Anonymousreply 76February 5, 2023 9:29 PM

I'm Sam Smith, front row with her yassss kweeen fans! I'm so relatable now, even though I will get backstage after the show and act all crazy with her for the 'gram!

by Anonymousreply 77February 12, 2023 11:03 AM

I'm the widely mocked 2022 concert video of "Music" with Maluma that abruptly disappeared from YouTube shortly after the tour announcement.

by Anonymousreply 78February 12, 2023 11:10 AM

I'm Madonna's underpaid and undervalued team members who scourge the Internet trying to block all filming of her Celebration Tour videos because no filters can hide our boss' hideous facial features.

We fail each night and are fired by Madonna's next in line.

by Anonymousreply 79February 12, 2023 6:35 PM

I’m the surprise Lady Gaga appearance and duet.

by Anonymousreply 80February 13, 2023 11:24 PM
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!