Explosive Prince Harry Memoir Reveals William Used Too Much Tongue When They Kissed

Kind of just seems like a "hahaha they're fags" piece weitten by some straight POS.

written*

No it doesn't r1.

Yes, but then Harry would just flip Wills over the solid gold piano and fuck pegger-boy Wills senseless. Until this day Wills still gets misty with memories every time Rose breaks out the strap-on 😏

Then what's the joke, R3, the incest aspect?

^ Like incest is a problem for the Windsor-Mountbatten dynasty 🙄

I would say the joke is no one cares about the stupid little squabbles the brothers had as children growing up. Siblings fight in every household. It’s part of being in a family. None of it is shocking.

The joke is not about "gay" or "incest", it's that The Onion is making fun of how H&M rant on about their privacy and lack of respect, but then will turn around and share very intimate stories and details that are in stark contrast to that statement.

^ That old chestnut, please 🙄 H&M never complained about their privacy, they only wanted to control their privacy

It's the difference of you inviting people over for dinner as opposed to them coming over unannounced to watch you shower

Anyone who has seen a Disney movie knows that the wicked stepmother and evil queen always loses in the end 😂

Love it! Hope Harry reads it.

^ Harry doesn't need to, the bank called and another truckload of money came in, so Harry had to run down and help them count it 😜

One never kisses a whore.

^ That is so wrong!... Everyone knows Willy is a bottom peg-boy 😏

'they only wanted to control their privacy'

These defenders of H and M are beyond the pale. Putting yourself out in public constantly, lying until it becomes something chronic, hypocrisy through the roof, documentaries and books, endless spilling of dirt about their families not giving two fucks about their privacy and they want to control THEIR privacy when they make themselves sitting ducks for every kind of mockery in existence? You must be as demented as they are.

They are shucking and jiving for $150 million. I’d tell the world about sniffing my brothers socks growing up for $150 million.

If only the Queen had lived to see this. Would she have read it or listened to the audio book?

'Oh dear, will Harry throw me under the bus as well? Camilla well I understand that but I did tell Charles not to have his boys circumcised. And what was the name of the cream Harry used on his penis?'

R16 did you really? Your brother must have been hot.

@r16, "They are shucking and jiving for $150 million"

I wonder how many billions the tabloids made giving them shit all these years? I wonder how many millions the "unauthorized biographers" made writing books about them? $150 million doesn't sound like a lot for them to write their own story 🤔

I wish people would calm down and realize H&M are going through their "fucked in the ass by Ray-J" phase. With the world the way it is now, in ten years they will be billionaires. All money is legitimate with time. Harry will be richer than his brother William and as we know heavy is the head that wears the crown. Kate will be a scarecrow of a human being locked away tending to her royal duties and H&M will be free and loved by the world with various money making ventures. They know what they are doing and being raked over the coals by a self-righteous culture is part of paying your dues.

[quote]Then what's the joke?

The joke is on the gazillion recent "Brothers Got Physical" headlines reporting on their fight.

@r20, Well said 👍

I can see R20’s point.

R1 doesn't understand. Probably one the BRF fraustans.

R20 On what planet will they be billionaires?

Their stock is losing value by the second.

This is lame coming from The Onion.

^ 😂 No it's not. Everything they touch turns to gold. Huge Netflix series still in the top spot and the fastest selling non-fiction book in history. If you want to gaslight people call your friends and family, because we're not buying it

You know, they could go for the Kanye and Hershel kind of fame. Just spit out even more and more and more delusional nonsense, and they might become prime choices for Real Housewives, all the countries' Big Brother (Pamela Anderson did Bulgaria!), DWTS (Andy Dick did the American one but the royal family fame opens up all the world's DWTS's - India would be a prime one!), they could make Jackass type movies with Harry doing even more novel things with his todger, I mean it could go on for years!!

And after fully establishing themselves as clowns, they could host chat shows like Howard Stern - just be permanent fixtures like the Kardashians, sitting around with advisors trying to think of wilder and wilder and wilder things.... Is it really that dissimilar from ex king Edward VIII befriending Hitler himself - and god knows what other despots. Clowns for the World !

^ They need all the delusionals over on Twitter, because no one is buying your nonsense there either. All the tabloids are freaking out over their success and it's a beautiful sight to behold

Read it and weep 😂

... and this

Just think - Lady C and Meghan in the jungle together on "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here" might turn it into "Murder She Wrote"

Explosive Prince Harry Memoir Reveals William Used Too Much Tongue When He Rimmed Him

I think they're success is like Britney Spears or Michael Jackson. Enormous. But when you get down to it they are very vapid, stupid and unawares. Their crash and burn will be better than the Hindenburg. Or should I say his. Dimwit Harry will one day end up an alcoholic dying of pneumonia in a gutter. Or will it be a drug overdose?

their

@r34, It's just killing you that they're a successful, loving couple , innit?

[quote][R20] On what planet will they be billionaires?

They have the eyes of the world on them. There is no such thing as bad press anymore. And people love to tear people down just to build them back up. They just have to round the corner of hate before people begin to see them as the Royals that loved America more than being a Prince and Princess. The Monarchy is dying anyway and it is being revealed for what it really is, a bunch of self important nitwits being supported by the state. It's not like these people are a group of some great minds. The Emperor is truly being seen as having no clothes - especially when with two laymen queens lined up in a row, one of them being a two timing whore.

As long as there are eyes on H&M they will be making money. And their wealth is about to be compounded immensely with the success of Netflix and the Book and then Meghan's book. They had $125 million in contracts just based on a hunch. Now that they are a proven entity, they will command more than that. They will be billionaires within ten years.

^ Yes! You get it 👍

There is nothing more modern or more American than what H&M are going through right now. Never underestimate people's absolute love affair with hating something. There is more money to be made in hate now than actually being liked. Having no talent and being laughed at makes as much money as being super talented at your craft. And ultimately Americans want them to succeed because it just validates our origin story as a country over some monarchy. H&M are just being tried in the fire now to see if they really have what it takes to navigate the hate and come out smelling good = financially successful. Although we can all see the particulars of who Meghan might be and the failings of Harry, the pot of gold at the end of their story and if they can achieve is all that matters.

As long as Meghan haters keep frothing at the mouth and clicking on stories and buying rags they will be in the spotlight and making money. Plus there are other side gigs like real estate investments.

The love for these two grifters who have done absolutely everything on the money of and hatred for the royal family is really bizarre. Absolutely everything they do to make money is based 100% on Charles' money(the provenance of which is in itself pretty shady) and the trashy peddling of a famous family's filthy laundry. Admire them and their hypocrisies and hustle. It seems to make you joyful.

@r39, That is the most back-handed compliment I've ever read 😂

I hear Princess Anne loves nature, despite of what it did to her 😏

@r41, The only"hate" around here is coming from your mouth

You have plenty of hate for those who think the Harkles are a joke. As if either of them is capable of any sentiment that doesn't tie them to a sack of money. Love them for what they re doing with the royal family's money. And off of the royal family's secrets. It for some reason gives you enormous satisfaction and happiness. I don't know what you've got personally against Charles, Camilla, William and Kate.

There isn't a penny that Harry has that isn't in some way given to him by his family. And you seem to have great admiration for Meghan's cutting off of her entire family and Harry's entire family. Except of course when she feels obliged to haul out Doria({when she was raised by her father who loved her more than he loved beer) point to her and say 'Look I know a black person!'

^ Nah, Harry is going to sell millions of books because he's telling the truth and everyone knows he's telling the truth. If you want to get get mad at someone get mad at the British tabloids for spreading hate, lies and racism. They're going to destroy your country. NOT Harry and Meghan

Fun fact: the original working title was called “Spare Me”.

It was either going to be Flat Spare or Balding Tyre.

R4 Willi might be peg boy, but Harry is a total bottom, so no, it could only be the other way around.

Prince Harry has suggested that the royal family may thank him “in five or 10 years time” after sharing many shocking revelations about the British royal family and its close relationship with the press in his tell-all memoir, Spare.

Oh Harry they will be filled with such gratitude. You can't even begin to imagine. In which of the schools which his father paid for in bags of cash did Harry get a PHD in stupid which is the only subject he could have excelled in? Or he was hit too many times on his head with a polo mallet?

Funny how since Muriel paywalled the site, there is just one crazy HarryMeghan fan left who can afford 2 bucks to gaslight people into believing these two royal grifters are victims. You can see that all irational posts defending whiny Harry from R4 on are from the same person. Last year, when there was acess for free you would get banned and proclaimed racist in no time by crazy Meghanistas and tgeir sock puppets even for the mildest remark which was less than admiration for these royal bimbos.

[quote]There isn't a penny that Harry has that isn't in some way given to him by his family.

R43 money handed to you by your father and capitalizing on your birthright are two different things. Harry had 13 million from his mother's estate. And he got money from is father as well not quite equal to that. He got close to $140 million from netflix and his book, from capitalizing on his birthright - much more than he would have gotten from the staying in the Royal Family. In a matter of six years he went from 3rd inline for the throne 5th inline now. The money he made from the Royal family would have been for his work of performing Royal duties. Now he has ten times more money and gets to choose exactly how and what he will focus his life on, instead of just bolstering up the Corporation.

I am not a huge fan of theirs at all. I think they are transparent and ridiculous as hell. I am just fascinated by how personal people are taking their story. And this hate of them is driving more money into their pockets. They are the next Kardashians - people rich and famous just for being known. They just have to line up the advertising deals now and they are set.

The money from his mother's estate was Charles'. Duh. And he is making all his money selling family secrets and his own complaints and gripes of them. He has nothing else to offer anybody. He's a black hole of a human being.

'Now he has ten times more money and gets to choose exactly how and what he will focus his life on.'

He has proven his entire life he is incapable of focus and empathy. All he wants to do is live a very lavish life, have 18 bathrooms, take private planes and vacation with rich famous friends.

It's astounding you don't see this. But he did say he wants to live barefoot with his children in Africa. Oh yes that is going to happen. The man wins top prize in the Asshole Best in Show.

All of this would have been so much more fun if Queen Elizabeth were alive his beloved Granny who he would have been fucking over in front of the entire world as she was closing in on 100.

[quote]There isn't a penny that Harry has that isn't in some way given to him by his family.

Wow, you mean exactly like his sibling, cousins, parents and hundreds or thousands of other trust fund kids?

You don't see a slight difference there R53, . It is that the rest of royals are not going from one TV show to another crying, whining and acting like the greatest victim of all times, that even Darfur Orphan would hand him his last piece of mouldy bread.

As for R50 I don't think that people take it personal, I think they either ridicule or are disgusted by uber rich and privileged POS who is crying on some show any time you open TV.

[quote]He has proven his entire life he is incapable of focus and empathy. All he wants to do is live a very lavish life, have 18 bathrooms, take private planes and vacation with rich famous friends.

R51 I have never spent three weeks in Malawi or any African nation, tagging elephants or doing anything for that matter, let alone become president of a conservation organization. I doubt you have as well. He returns every year under the radar to volunteer.

I spent five days in Lagos Nigeria at my little brother's wedding in their finest hotel there and couldn't wait to leave. And I am black.

I am surprised the Prince on HBO wasn't more popular given the current situation. I got panned but I thought it was funny, especially how they made Prince George a little queen.

[quote]He has proven his entire life he is incapable of focus and empathy.

Really? So you've known him personally from birth and can attest to this yourself?

Someone lacks empathy and can't focus but it may not be him. You freaks are the biggest projectionists and make all kinds of crazy declarations of proof from reading gossip.

No I don't know him personally but who would need to? He spills his guts everywhere. Now if you don't think this is beneath contempt to do to your brother I have no I idea what you think is. Well maybe William is a total shit and he and Kate deserve this.

“Two years older than me, Willy was the Heir, whereas I was the Spare,” the exiled prince wrote in explaining the title of his memoir, “Spare,” which was officially released Tuesday.

“I was the shadow, the support, the Plan B. I was brought into the world in case something happened to Willy,” he wrote of his 40-year-old brother and current heir to the throne, William.

He said he understood his role was to be a “diversion” and “distraction” from his brother — or to provide, “if necessary, a spare part” to him.

“Kidney, perhaps. Blood transfusion. Speck of bone marrow,” he added in morose detail.

This is for R55. How would you know if it were under the radar? So much empathy!

I really don't care anymore r59. What's next?

The Onion needs to do a satire on how easily triggered the H/M haters are. I mean, they go apeshit over the ONION.

They really are mentally ill R61. I have most of them blocked and find it amusing to see chunks of posts missing after even a fairly innocuous comment about H/M indicating the triggered crazies are posting knee-jerk comments. A comment will show up and my screen will go from, say, R40 to R56 and everything in between missing.

Oh yes block people! Like H/M you're so triggered.

Another winner from the Onion’s sister publication Clickhole