Revenge Part 18 ... for the Royals, 2023 comes out swinging

let's start uncharacteristically.

That excerpt reads like the script of some badly written nighttime soap opera.

He ripped my necklace!

Bwahahaha.

If there had been any physical injuries, Markle would have taken photos so Harry could release them at a later date.

Book's not out yet, R3.

I thought the ghostwriter is talented...maybe he let Sparkles pen the part about Harold's necklace?

What else do you do with their stupid story? I think Penguin said, "Let it be trash."

Then Kate ripped the tiara from her head and screamed "You will never wear the Greville Emerald Kokoshnik Tiara!" while Charlotte savagely bit my beloved's delicate ankles. The whole family are violent. You saw Louis bitchslapping his own mother at the Jubilee. I had to protect my children by keeping them away and suing the Home Office. But attending was the only way to save Granny.

I mean, at this point, can the what colour is your baby reveal possibly not happen?

Do I believe that Prince William called the wife "Meg"? No, another part of the story that doesn't sound true.

When can we all line up to bitchslap Harry? It would be a great income stream for him.

R9, it's a good point. In anger or contempt, do you call someone by a diminutive name (like Meg or Haz or Fucktard)? Plus, what set him off? The scene he described is not sufficient to provoke that reaction. I wonder if it was before the wedding or after and the Kate crying stuff? It seems possible as an incident but less probable as described.

“So very fast” is the kind of terrible, melodramatic crap Meghan writes. Did the ghostwriter even touch this?

Bunker Harry is trending on Twitter, saying he played video games in the bunker and was basically babysat by the others in his unit.

Lol r7 and r10

He called a therapist after his fight with William but was too embarrassed to ask for help for his apparently suicidal pregnant wife. More logical inconsistencies. I smell BS.

I love this part: "Now scared, Harry writes, he went to the kitchen, his furious brother following."

Like Harry is a terrified, helpless child scurrying away from a menacing father.

I thought he was a war hero?

He probably didn't like that she has done the same acting with him in bed

Just read that he brags in the book that he killed 25 people in Afghanistan--who he considered "chess pieces" and not humans.

But also cries that he was bitch-slapped by his brother.

Oh, Harold. This is the end for you.

I thought, R18, that was a very stupid thing to say for a man who claims he's worried about protection.

He should be forced to meet with the families of the 25 chess pieces that he killed.

I think that's what I'll call the LSA types going forward, the diabetic chess pieces.

Page Six is doing Live updates on the book. All the juicy stuff is getting leaked ahead. What happened to it being as closely guarded as the last Harry Potter book?

I wonder, do days like this remind them how isolated they are? Who phones, other than people making money with them? Who offers a friendly word? Who actually is a friend? I could be wrong but I’d bet Casa Prefabricado is quite quiet despite the furore. Nothing to do but Google yourself.

R23 agree. From the leaks I’ve read, this book will not be a rallying cry. Instead, it will be a distancing cry. No one of any value will want to associate them.

It will be only award ceremonies at the Indianapolis Marriot and seats on the boards of shady start ups. And that’s the best case scenario.

Harry also says he lost his virginity in a field behind a pub with an older woman. I think he downplayed the experience to show he only loved Smegs.

R22 it seems some Spanish bookstore mistakenly put it out too early and a copy fell into a journalist's hands!

In that virginity story he says she "slapped my ass". Harry has really taken to American lingo!

Not mistakenly, R26... LOL:

"As news outlets rushed to snap up Spanish-language versions of the book - called En La Sombra, or In The Shade - the publishers’ PR strategy went out the window.

The Telegraph was able to obtain a copy at bookshops in Valencia.

Booksellers in the city said they were willing to break the strict publication embargo of January 10 as long as the book sale was not traced back to them.

Some book stores claimed they were not "officially" selling En La Sombra, but used the pretext of the southeastern city's Epiphany celebrations on Thursday - when presents are exchanged - to "gift" the book to shoppers.

To navigate the publication embargo, customers were told they would not be sent a receipt until January 10 and had to promise not to share its contents on social media before that date. "

Yea R28 I should have written "mistakenly"!

This is one hell of a shit show. This makes Diana: Her True Story look like baby napping. Fucking hell. Yet, for the Royal Family, I really do think it will blow over. They're the heroes in the story. They've got the cards. The majority root for them. A couple unity appearances and photographs and it all comes to pass.

The shit in this book... it's embarrassing. He's so small and petty.

Diana has a lot of popularity and established public sympathy when her "books" were published. There was some credibility there as well; plus, she didn't do it for the money or to get paid.

Not so in Harry's case, in all areas.

Diana was paranoid when she collaborated with Morton on that book

Very good distinction, R31. I remember when the Diana book came out and I was a little disappointed at some of her choices (I thought it was a terrible thing to put in that she threw herself down the stairs when pregnant and I'm not sure how much good it did her to announce her suicide by lemon juicer attempts) but she didn't do this, in any respect.

Only in Harry's mind is William his "arch-nemesis".

Posted this in the other thread but here too: it's a blessing the Queen is dead. This is the lowest.

Seems an odd strategy to come so directly for William and Kate, who literally will hold the keys to the kingdom in the future. The Harkles must figure that there is no going back so they have nothing to lose, so why not burn it all down? Also, every excerpt reads like it was dictated to the author by Duchess D-List herself.

I can't take Harry seriously on his holier than tjou nonsense about leaks to the media. I don't believe for a second that both Harry and Meghan haven't leaked to the media or done so via proxies numerous times . That is how he is confident about such things happening because he has done it himself. I think one of the mail journalists more or less said this a few weeks ago. A lot of his anger is projection. Anyway why was it OK for them to try and malign and slut shame Samantha Markle via Scobies book on the quiet but its a moral outrage if someone briefed the media about Meghan. They are such hypocritical idiots

Wonder if he addressed the rumors about him beating up prostitutes?

Some of the Sugars could be coming from Pajiba

I can't wait until 2nd week sales are in the toilet and the PR flacks start promising that Harry has just scratched the surface and saved even more for the $econd book.

I think Meghan's memoir will come first, then Harry's second...

Here come the headlines.

Between the necklace and dog bowl, the Wales’ being starstruck by Meghan, Harold’s glee at William balding, Meghan crumpling to the floor crying because of a text about a dress and the fact Harold keeps his mummy’s hair by his bed, I am laughing myself to sleep tonight.

I didn’t expect this book to be such a hit. Easily one of the best comedies this decade. Well done, Harold.

[quote] Meghan crumpling to the floor crying because of a text about a dress

I missed this one, which dress?

Boasting about killing people is not a good look - how can he not see that?

What a fool.

How did he get Diana's hair?

R46, I believe that cutting off a lock of someone's hair after they have died is an old-time tradition. When Oscar Wilde died, his friends found among a few possessions was an envelope containing a few strands of hair that had belonged to his younger sister, who had died decades before.

His name is Henry, r43.

It's Henry, r18. The fact that William supposedly called him Harold in one of the leaked excerpts, when that is not his name, makes me think that this book is mostly the work of the ghost writer, who admittedly was probably forced to be creative with the incoherent rambling Harry was streaming off at him. That would also explain the strange tone, which comes across more as what a skilled American trying to affect the voice of a posh Brit would sound like than an actual posh Brit.

R43 I believe Spare claims will and Harry call eachother Willy and Harold

I find it interesting that he's accusing the Family of leaking news to the media. I really wish someone would ask him about the rumors that he and/or Meghan have been accused, and even caught, wearing microphones.

Is there a pic of the blue box with St Di's hair on Harold's nightstand?

I don't find the "Harold" thing that weird. Maybe it's just a British thing, but sometimes a person will get called a variant of their real name in a jokey way, particularly if it's a posh or old-fashioned one. So, for example, an Annie's family might jokingly call her Annabella. My family sometimes call me by a foreign version of my real name. I hadn't even thought about it until now, actually.

‘While the ears and cheeks were already healing, the todger wasn’t. It was becoming more of an issue by the day,” he says.

Following the wedding, Harry says that he went to the doctor after using Elizabeth Arden cream."

He must have gotten quite a few clumps of her hair as the old custom was to keep only a few strands or a single lock. He’s got a boxful!

I see an unexpectedly explicit informercial for Elizabeth Arden in Harry's future!

Meghan crumpling to the floor crying because of a text about a dress

Please let it be about the white refrigerator dress from the Covid fundraiser or the red Carolina Herrera one she wore to a sombre event!

No mistake r28. They wanted to distract from Mandela's granddaughter calling them out publicly.