How many of you came out as bi, before admitting that you were gay

This would be a good poll.

I'll raise my hand. I called myself bisexual for a few years before I came out as gay.

Can you share why you did that R1? Why did you say you were bi?

Me but it was genuine. I was interested in girls and boys at first but now I want only a man as a life partner.

[quote]or did you think being bi would make it easier for your family.

Coming out as trans was easier for me and my family to accept.

I still occasionally watch straight porn, it never went away. Still like what I like. Totally never did anything with men ever. Never.

👋

Bi now, gay later.

[quote]Bi now, gay later.

Trans after.

Me but it was genuine

I went to art school in the early 80s. We were all fabulous New Wave bisexuals back then.

Good times, sigh.

I was gay but anyone could buy me.

Give me a break. People only “come out” as bisexual as a trial balloon for the actual truth. Truly bisexual people don’t even really need to come out unless they decide to settle into a same sex relationship (which rarely happens).

look at OP…she’s acting all bi-curious, as if we didn’t know better…

I called myself bisexual in high school because I thought it was edgy and it was a lot cooler than being gay.

The thing is I never even had sex with her girl before. I made out with a girl and grabbed her tits nothing. A couple of months later I "accidentally" 69d with her younger brother.

Fast forward 20 years later. Yes I'm gay.

R14 Tell us about the lucky accident with the brother.

Yeh me. Honestly, it probably wasn’t a lie at the time I came out. I was 15 & I was still figuring out what I liked. I kissed and did stuff with both sexes & enjoyed it. I probably still would. But I stopped looking for it & much, much preferred the same sex for sex & love. I’m def gay.

I came out as gay, when I was in my 20s, because I was in a gay relationship. Then later I continued to be with both sexes and figured I was more bi. It happens. Though it will anger people on DL for no reason. Anything can happen and people can be anything, but people think you're supposed to be what they think checks the boxes. Ok, come at me now.

R2, because I was having sex with women, I loved David Bowie, it was the in thing, and I hedged my bets.

Full blown gay here, came out at 18 in the mid 80s. I didn’t dip my toe in the water, I jumped in and damn proud of it

Since I am neither a movie or pop star- gay, not bi-

Never admitted I was gay because I am not.

Always bi. Have always liked girls and boys. Though not equally. Sometimes I get an intense crush on a female workmate or a celebrity (Meghann Fahy). Sometimes it's more dudes (Brandon Flynn). It really depends on the person.

I had "girlfriends" and girlfriends in elementary and middle school (never had sex, only made out with them). I was asexual in high school. I told myself I was bi after a semester or two in college. I was 19. I came out as gay at 21 to friends and family (even though I secretly wished I was actually bi). I had my first kiss with a guy around that time. I didn't start masturbating and having sex until I was 23. No idea why I didn't figure out the former sooner. It's no wonder my life has played out the way it has. Yeah, I'm a weirdo. What's new?

R16, you're capable of a dopamine response to the opposite sex, you're definitely bisexual. Gay men don't want or enjoy women for sex or romance, that is totally bisexual.

"Preference" is a totally Boomer term. If you prefer men over women, that's still bisexual. We fought this preference over orientation thing DECADES ago. Why are you people bringing back sexual preference? Language like "sexual preference"/"retarded"/"that lifestyle" are relics of a bygone time. We understand sexual orientation makes some homosexual not "preference."

[quote] ...before admitting that you were gay

Don't like the use of the term "admitting" here. Makes it sound like something shameful.

The language wars. While being a radically minded "poet", and understanding the communitive action possible and necessary by language (Habermas), I am getting old I guess. I find the "pronoun" mandates, and the inscrutable anger over (in one direction) "bisexuals pretending to be gay" and (in the other direction) vitriol against any "trans" encroachments... it's all unnecessary and obstructive to me.

I grew up in the 70s... and hippy values in my psyche's neighborhood made me believe that "everyone should love everyone"... and I thought my own sexual proclivities had, would, and would continue to morph and fluctuate depending on my moods and the object of direction. I was uncomfortable about being (perceived or in reality) gay. I lived with a woman, I loved a woman, and I satisfied a woman sexually (or so I told myself, and interview with her might surface other information).

As R18 shares, David Bowie, resisting norms, drugs, politics, art, ambitions, self-deceptions, human growth movement, liberation, bohemia... so many reasons to want to stay outside the labels.

Then a relationship with a man, then (after that) lots and lots of sex with men, then a "marriage" of 27 years to man. I have no problem with raising "gay" as my flag... just as a new generation disputes my patriarchal limitations and asserts the benefits of fluidity.

I can't fit in with Gen Z. I can't fit in with DL. I can't fit in with that woman that I loved... but I'm pretty good with the guy who's been around for all these years... now if he weren't so grouchy when he's sleepy.

Don't most guys? It's a stepping stone to appease loudmouth Catholic and Jewish mothers.

In the 90s a guy I knew was on the cover of Newsweek magazine holding his toddler son. The print read Bisexuals in America or something similar. We laughed our asses off because this guy was the biggest queen in DC and the kid was conceived via IVF with his gay wife.

“Admitting?”

Bi scum thread