I think I have an anal fissure

Tell your doctor, you FAT WHORE!

[quote]I do take Metamucil gummies like candy so I feel I get enough fiber.

Too much Metamucil can cause:

>Gas. Feeling gassy can be uncomfortable and embarrassing.

>Abdominal cramping and bloating. Abdominal cramping and bloating are also common Metamucil side effects.

>Diarrhea.

> Bowel obstruction.

Sound familiar?

[quote] I do take Metamucil gummies like candy so I feel I get enough fiber.

EAT A VEGETABLE, BITCH

Go to the doctor.

Also, are you on pain meds? Hope you’re taking them legally and as prescribed. And even then, they will mess with your digestive system.

Also, Metamucil gummies don’t work well. You need actual Metamucil, along with a regular intake of ruffage, to shit regularly. Get a food processor in order to chop up your vegetables so that they come out smoother, when you sit on the toilet. Or, chop them up into tiny pieces with a really good kitchen knife. Watch your fingers!

A teaspoon of olive oil will help you take a dump without pain, bleeding, hemorrhoids, or fissures, you fat whore.

R1

The doctor has been disappointing for me. Everytime I go in with a problem they don’t find anything and it’s a waste of time and I end up looking crazy.

STEALTH Scat thread.

Ask you DOCTOR, not a gaggle of gays you never met.

Prunes, pomelo, and yogurt milk are your friend, OP.

If you can reach the fissure, put some chloramphenicol or mupirocin ointment on it. Then mentholatum to cool it down and lubricate your asshole when you shit.

OP = Matthew Perry

I had one about 10 years ago. (And it wasn't from bottoming; I'm a lesbian. I have no idea how I got a cut inside my butt.) A straight female coworker got one a year later. Maybe it's more common than we think, but no one talks about it.

It was the worst pain I ever felt. It took an hour to go to the bathroom.

I went to a colorectal surgeon and they sent the camera up there. (I did not have to be put to sleep first.). They gave me some nitroglycerine to spread up in there with a q-tip once a day.

If it doesn't heal on its own, then surgery may be necessary. It took a long time to heal, and I stuck with it because I wanted to avoid the surgery.

Stop taking so many supplements. Increase the fiber in your diet and cut down (or cut out) meat and fried food. Drink WATER, and lots of it. Go for a walk, daily.

If that doesn't help, go to a gastro.

Dare I ask why your cat would be close enough to your gaping hole to scratch it?

^ Don't look at me!

I've had them a few times.

One thing that I found helped was getting a handheld shower head so that, if I had a somewhat sticky poop, I wouldn't scratch or rub my butt raw trying to feel clean. Using the direct spray option on the showerhead did wonders.

Yes, a bidet works too but if you don't have several hundred for a bidet, a showerhead is much more cost effective. It also seemed to help any fissures heal faster.

This happened to me one time when I got raped by a ghost. Yogurt, prunes and visit to a santero did the trick for me.

Anyone who lets his cat fiat him deserves what she gets.

You need to see a colo-rectal surgeon, not your GP. They'll actually look to see what's what and prescribe appropriately. I'm just coming off months of anal fissure misery cause by too ambitious douching. First line for fissures, if that's what it is, is nifedipine ointment to promote healing. Also 2.5% hydrocortisone cream will generally stop inflammation and itching. But get looked at, it could be more serious.

Everyone, please do yourselves a favor and buy an after-market bidet on Amazon for 40 dollars. I have them installed in all of my bathrooms and it makes a huge difference with anal issues.

It's ERNA, R18.

[quote] Erna

Cunt!

[quote] Erna

Shit eating Nazi pedo cunt!

MY DOCTOR SAYS

I HAVE TO TAKE

A LAXATIVE!

The original post always tends to wind up being the ‘icebreaker’ from the cute Jewish fellows I hope to connect with at the discotheque.

I had to have surgery to correct one of mine, and I guess I'm still prone to them. Consider the chief difference between fissures and 'roids. Hemorrhoids hurt all the time. A fissure only hurts when you poop, but Jesus H. Jones, it HURTS to poo! It's like passing knives through your brown eye.

Consume more water, more vegetables, and take a fiber supplement. An occasional stool softener every day or two can also help keep things moving. But be careful not to overdo it!

As others have said here, consider a shower wand or bidet. Be very careful about what you put on or in your anal verge - No wet wipes, no hot water, no steroid creams (which thin the skin and promote tearing).

Definitely go see a colorectal specialist. They're rare, and hard to get an appointment to see, but they are experts in this area.

You've probably just got an internal hemorrhoid.

You have The Cancer.

Laugh all you want, cocksuckers, but this will happen to you some day. It's almost a guarantee over 40, even if you're not cramming stuff up there.

One of them bears scratched you on his exit and now it's infected.

You might have a raccoon problem.

Is this a slut person problem?

Did this to myself and it was the worst 6 months of my life. Just awful. Get help, OP!

Why share this here? Shits n grins?

[quote] I think I have an anal fissure From constipation, not from bottoming

That's the problem! Get bottoming, Gurl.

[quote] If you can reach the fissure, put some chloramphenicol or mupirocin ointment on it.

I always keep chloramphenicol and mupirocin ointment in my house!

[quote]chloramphenicol and mupirocin

You don't have them in the house? SAD!

Maybe it's GERBIL, OP.

[quote] Dare I ask why your cat would be close enough to your gaping hole to scratch it?

He commissioned me to do some painting up in there. What can I say? Accidents happen!

I had this years ago and it was like shitting broken glass. At one point I even tried sniffing poppers while I took a shit, in an attempt to relax my hole and reduce the pain. I drank a lot of fybogel powder dissolved in water, and that helped eventually.

Maybe Santa came early and mistook your poop chute for the chimney.

You must see a specialist. And you probably need to drink extra water. You may be endangering yourself with extra fiber and not enough water. See a specialist as soon as possible to get on the correct routine.

I think this is troll bait- cats can’t cause a fissure and they are very simple to diagnose and treat. The 5th post gives the whole thing away.

Trump has the same problem, only it's around his mouth.

Seriously OP, get your ass to a Dr. No pun intended.

what kind of doctor do you go to to get a anal skin tag removed? it's from healed hamroid

OP has the monkey pox, you know

The most painful and gross injury of my life was an anal fistula, and I'm not even old or sexually active so it was a wtf. For an entire summer it was agony to stand or sit, like electric shocks through all the nerves in my lower half whenever anything brushed or moved against the swollen area--and I was working a manual job in a bakery at the time, so it was hard going. And all my clothes got stained. I had to take thrice daily sitz baths for ages, otherwise I'd reek and be sore. I still have the scar and if I twitch certain glute muscles I can still feel the inner canal where the fistula burrowed.